When i was a little girl i saw mom always saving not just little bit money she had but also many different things .
She used to save all old stuff like pieces of cloths ,buttons ,toys ,all kind of old news papers ,bills and receipts .
she used to say that ,
" nothing is useless ,anything can be useful when we will need it suddenly "
I never got that because most of those stuff was stored in house for years and any of it was hardly used occasionally .
But we all will agree that saving is good habit though .
Apparently i hardly inherited any good habit from my dear mom .
I was carefree tomboyish girl who never took interest in household or housekeeping skills .
After marriage i realized that my husband has same habit of saving just like my mother.
I was shocked to see his small box who looked like a treasure chest but when he opened it front of me i was like Oh my what the hell is this ?
It was filled with so many old things like buttons ,papers clips ,pin holder ,cufflinks ,rusted needles ,nail cutters blah blah blah.
I was surprised that how a young man can be as possessive about old stuff.
By the years i learnt that he saves bills ,papers ,receipts and prescriptions.
Through all these 27 years together we argued over this issue many times .
Our first house was not as big to put furniture or stuff to decorate so we had only basic necessary stuff .
No matter how slattern i was after marriage i had grown fondness for tidy and well arranged house .
But i found hubby's old stuff restrain for my house management .
Whenever i asked him to throw away or atleast reduce some of that he thought i was trying to change him (yes ,youth's biggest problem is ego that appears larger than life most of the time)
Anyway slowly though but we both learnt that to live together peacefully we both have to surrender our egos and accept each other as whole .
We both learnt to peek inside us and sort out what is actually right or wrong for both of us .
We learnt to eliminate the habits that raised issues in our adjustment .
In his love i learnt to save (n0 , not money) bills and receipts but only two or three moths older .
what i could not learn is to save a single penny i don't know why or may be i rely on hubby for this because i think this is not for me (what to do :( )
In my love, he learnt to give away old clothes and stuff , and stored things only that we both agree will be useful.
To make me feel free about house decoration he made two rooms upstairs to put all extra stuff there .
Do you save money and store old things ?
My wife has a great deal of trouble trowing anything away, she is getting better so I try not to complain too much. I try to convince her that there is value in open space.
ReplyDeleteDear Joe learning is such most important source to have peace and betterment in life!
DeleteSo I love learning and want it continue till my last breath
Dear Baili, I remember when you were building those two rooms for your stuff. I love how you've told your story. It is what a marriage is. I like to say we "respect each other's strengths, accept each other's weaknesses." Have a wonderful day.
ReplyDeleteThank you dear Carol for such beautiful words !
DeleteEach time when we do something big like construction or buying stuff it is always hubby 's savings habits that make it possible
Bali, you sound like you compliment each other perfectly, what a wonderful happy ending, your honesty is refreshing,, I enjoy every visit here,,
ReplyDeleteAh complimenting each other !
DeleteThis thing hubby learnt from me dear Laurie.
I have always adored him for his virtues specially his sense of responsibility is striking.
He was so miser in acknowledgement and appreciation though
I myself poured this in him so slowly that
If you have right to criticise me on my mistakes
Then you should also recognise my good habits too
It took him years to realise that it's okay to appreciate wife's good job :)
Before we got married my husband and I did pre-marriage counseling at our church. You take a quiz, seriously, and find out how you are similar and how you are different. Our pastor said during our wedding ceremony: Howard is a keeper of things and Sandi is a thrower away-er. Ha ha! ;-) It is so true. I love to clean things out. My husband keeps things because they may be useful one day. (He is right!)
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely right he is dear Sandi!
DeleteI wonder how we think alike haha
I mean same story both side :)
My husband always finds ways to fix things with items he’s saved. I dread the day when we downsize to an apartment.
ReplyDeleteAnd same does mine dear Marie!
DeleteLiving in congested place can affect our perspective overall and I can say this through my experience
If there is no help of faith one can go crazy
I save money and keep bills/receipts for a few months only, then out they go. I don't stockpile old stuff because it mounts up too fast and takes over storage space.
ReplyDeleteSaving money is such great habit as it is umbrella to rainy days and i understand it though learning it is needed still
Deletemy (late) mom and hubby used to keep all the bills
i was so irritated with hanging a huge bundle of bills on kitchen's wall after marriage
thank Lord that hubby is agreed to keep only few month older now
what i hate most about storage is the insects and lizards that find place as best habitat
We downsized dramatically; downsized too much. It was not a good idea. Letting go of the stuff was a good thing, but living in a very small space is not such a good idea. A move is probably on the horizon.
ReplyDeleteDear Chris in the history of our marriage such dramatic turn came when we were moving stored stuff to upper rooms .
Deleteon my assistance and insistence hubby was agreed to give away and throw away huge amount of his stuff which was such a relief :)
At my advanced age I am learning to save a small amount of money. I have been known to save things that are sentimental for me but useless for anyone else. I have been learning to let go of some of them.
ReplyDeleteDear Emma this is always great to learn for better !
DeleteMy parents and in laws both say i can't save money because i know hubby does this so well
may be our different natures balanced out our living for better .
I have many examples around (ladies) who are obsessed with saving money secretly from their husbands ,
few bring it out in crises but many don't help their husbands in hard times ,they keep it to themselves and i can't get WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP IS THIS
my husband give his whole salary in my hand ,he only takes some amount for his basic necessities .
i believe he shows such confidence because he knows me that i will not misuse or waste money of his hard work .
and he knows that i have no habit to keep secret money .
stuff attached to our sentiments is hard to give away , i could not throw or give away any of my mom's stuff given by her as wedding gift or in latter years
somethings got so ugly but they still reflect love of my mother
Some things I store, some I get rid off, I am in the middle
ReplyDeleteBalance is best way for life dear Ola :)
DeleteThere is wisdom in your post Baili. Two people who love one another need to learn to compromise and give and take.
ReplyDeleteAs for saving things I tend to get rid of things but I not overboard with it. My wife is the same way so we do not usually have disagreement on this issue.
This great dear Brain that you and your wife both have same attitude towards having stuff or giving it away
Deleteyes compromise is key to a successful relationship and i don't think any relationship can work without it
My husband keeps things, I throw away. But we both don't waste money.
ReplyDeleteDear Christine i was totally against of keeping things or you can say it is in my nature
Deleteyes i had and still have little carefree attitude for stuff .
for example if i have only one apple in my hand at lunch time and someone hungry ask for it i will give it away (if it's just about me)
i know this sound so stupid but i do it with unshaken belief that if my God will want me to have lunch it is his responsibility to give me one more apple for this
and if he doesn't i am contend to have will of my Creator :)
I don't throw money but i can't save it ,thank God there are banks to keep it
because if it was in my hand i would rather give them who need it more than me (don't tell hubby)
I heard someone say recently that in a true compromise, both parties are a little unhappy. I guess that would be true if both parties give in a little and yield to what the other person wants.
ReplyDeleteDear Connie i can speak through my experience only so
Deletein my opinion no love can grow stronger without a compromise
because each person has different perspective and bit of ego which get hurt when someone oppose his opinion or try to impose his own on him
best way out is to create balance within both and show flexibility in relationship
when we get it done i don't think anyone will be unsatisfied with the positive result (my opinion)
I would like to travel light. When my Dad Died, after his funeral he had $1600.00. He was 95. He didn't have things to worry about.
ReplyDeleteDear Red if it's just me i would either live a life of wanderer and would love to travel the whole planet instead of sticking at one place and storing the stuff
DeleteBoth my husband and I are savers - of money and of other stuff. Too much so. I always joke that if we just let each other get rid of stuff the other one brought into the house, we'd do fine. As it is, we are both struggling to get rid of things now, while we are able, rather than getting too old to deal with it or maybe one of us ending up dealing with it all. Or worse, having our kids face dealing with it. That's just not fair to them. You and your husband are doing a good job meeting each other in the middle. I really like that quote on compromise. It's a good way to look at it.
ReplyDeleteyou raised here good point dear Jenny!
Deletewith aging we loose energy to deal with stuff specially the stored one about which we only assume that it may be useful someday
i unconsciously think about it now days that when i will not be around what my kids will do with such stuff that we have piled out in upper rooms
i clearly know that none of them will tend to keep it or use it for any reason
that was my point and thank Lord that hubby is getting it bit now :)
I have the habit of saving.
ReplyDeleteMoney for the future of the family, things that me anda my family have kept throughout the years.
Have a great week
Such a good habit dear Pedro!
Deleteold stuff seem to consume our lots of memories and emotions so always hard to put it out of sight
You have compromised which is good.
ReplyDeleteAlways keep some receipts for 7 years, law here for certain things.
Clothing, usually we wear until old, what is not so old goes to charity.
My late parents contents mostly given away to charity, it's a problem to store and keep their household and personal goods. I've kept what was most important to me and to them.
Money side of affairs has always been mine to take care of. I'm known for looking at things 5 times before spending my money :)
Dear Margaret you sound very wise person!
Deletegiving away things is in my blood .
my parents were from lower middle class still specially my mother loved to give away her old clothes or other things just to please his God!
i can say this came to me from her .
big or small place ,much storage brings discomfort and indiscipline in house
Faço o possível por ser poupada, mas não gosto de guardar coisas inúteis. O seu texto é muito interessante. Uma boa semana.
ReplyDeleteUm beijo.
My husband doesn't through things away and the amount of books he has is totally ridiculous. I complain but nothing gets done. He once told me to try to sell his books online. Men and their piles of junk!!
ReplyDeleteDear Angela i can see that husbands are more keeper of stuff as compare to wives
Deleteand convincing them is quite a tough job
here comes the compromise
balance is best way to calm things
both parties should bend and show flexibility
Hi Baili :) I'm NOT a "stuff" saver but I'm a money saver. Alex is not a money saver, he's a "stuff" saver! LOL...so we are a perfect match! ;) Actually, as you know, we're trying to find a house to buy in the next few months, so in February, we decided to go down to the basement and PURGE...you should have seen that room Baili, it was top to bottom boxes, and 90% were labeled "Alex". I helped him get rid of things that really were of no use. I told him that we would have to rent a storage space to keep all of the stuff he was keeping. He doesn't like to let go, but with my help he got rid of half of it. He had a little regret, but he says he feels much more free now without all the clutter. Secretly I want to do this again so he'll get rid of more, but I won't push him too much! :) I told him when we move, if we have a shed on the property, he can fill it with whatever he wants! :)
ReplyDeleteSince I have a financial background, I've always been in charge of the budget, so he relies on me to take care of the money, the bills and the expenses.
Alex sounds just like my husband dear Rain :)
ReplyDeleteI can imagine the piled up room and how hard it must be for you to convince him to eliminate the stuff!
I am sure you will make him feel more free :)
Keeping money sounds HEAVY duty to me lol
I wonder how you manage to do this
Actually I should learn from you :)
I keep your task for new house in my thoughts and prayers dear Rain!
I save money to have a safety net but I also like to enjoy life, so I spend within reason. As for things, I don't save much. I'm a minimalist and like to have very few items around. I donate many things throughout the year to help others and to keep our house clutter-free.
ReplyDeletevery wise words dear Martha!
Deletesaving to secure future is great!
i can understand through your sharing that the most amazing man in the world have same attitude towards stuff keeping as you so taking decision is easy :)
My mother was also a saver of so many little things as well. And I am as well, especially saving things that people have given me or that I find special. But, I am also trying to get rid of things that have no meaning. I like Marie Kondo's methods and especially about keeping things only if they "spark joy" because so many things do not. I was glad to read that you and your husband reached a good compromise.
ReplyDeleteI like to keep things sort of in order but then sometimes I forget where I put them.
ReplyDeleteSaving things is a good mentality. But if you save pretty old things, they will consume space, become rusty and dusty spoiling all the look of the area. So your stand of saving only necessary items is appreciable, Baily. Nice.
ReplyDeleteSuch a wise post, dearest Baili. Learning to compromise improves all of our relationships!
ReplyDeleteIn our family we tend to store stuff, because we build, repair, craft... and often it happens that the stored things may become unexpectedly useful. I hope, for the children's sake, that we will start death cleaning in time. :)
Hugs and blessings!
I do think that learning to compromise/ accepting a certain amount of compromise can improve and stabilise so many relationships …
ReplyDeleteThe older I get the more I only keep 'stuff' that is special and meaningful, so much we get/buy during our lives is unnecessary.
All the best Jan
I am a bit of a collector to, it is in my nature:
ReplyDeleteIt might come in handy, it is gift (so I can't give it away)
Every now and then I have a big clear out of accumulated 'STUFF'
Hey, Baili!
ReplyDeleteThis is a thought-provoking post, and I enjoyed reading its comments as well.
I just got back from walking in the open space along Piney Creek. The air was hot and muggy under the spring sun and moisture-filled clouds. At first it seemed quiet and still, but as I walked I began to hear a variety of birdsong and to see at least a half dozen species of birds. I am always amazed when I see wildlife and realize that they survive with little through all kinds of weather and seasons. They don't worry about money or possessions ~ maybe a nest or burrow and perhaps a store of winter food.
With Terry and me, I am the spender of money and the saver of things; Terry is the saver of money and the tosser of things. I'm the one who keeps track of and pays all our bills. I know to the penny how much we have spent. Terry does the taxes, trip planning, and handles the biggies like a refinanced mortgage for our house. Legal and financial documents make my eyes spin; but fortunately I have Terry who reads and understands such things thoroughly. When I say I'm a spender I mean I buy what I want when I want and don't worry about it. Terry is always looking for the best deal and comparing prices. It's always fascinating to see how different couples manage a lifetime together.
I am going through the process of decluttering and getting rid of possessions. I don't want to burden others with such a task after I'm gone. Also, we will likely move sometime this year, and it is costly to transport "crap" as Terry calls my stuff. Of course, his is "valuable" or "useful."
I loved the quote on compromise and the cartoon about stuff!
Have a good one, my friend!
This is such a cute post! For me, I have to say, I'm good with my money, but before, I wasn't! LOL! I use to buy many things, that weren't needed! Big Hugs!
ReplyDelete