Hey Glorious Hearts!
Hope and pray that you are enjoying each moment in your hand with gratitude and positivity :)
Thank you so much for all the love and support you have showered through your wonderful sweet words on my previous post!
I felt so fortunate and blessed to receive such warmth from all of you.
I want to share bit about my brother and his wife today as some of you may want to know about them.
As i mentioned that my mother lived with us after my marriage for almost one year.
And then she went back to her native village as she did not like the extreme weather specially summers of this city which she found so hard to bear.
Meanwhile my younger sister was living and studying here with us high school .
My both parents wanted her to complete her studies and comeback .They had decided that when she will comeback ,they will not stay in the village but will move to the Islamabad in rental house.
They somehow passed that tow and half years there while bearing rudeness and misbehave of their only son .
Wife of my brother was daughter of my aunt(mom's sister) .She was in love with a boy out of their cast (cast does matter in marriage specially in village or rural area)
Her marriage with my brother was totally arranged .Just like brother she also hated us for gaining education .These were also the reason for her hatter and anger she always showed towards us.
However they were doing good economically as my brother was working as supervisor of masons who construct buildings .
One day i received letter in which my father told that my brother is loosing his mind and most of the time he closed himself in room and hit himself while mumbling loudly .
When few months later i visited there i saw that he is not same person anymore .He was looking old , weak miserable and lost . His eyes were reflecting insanity of his mind .
He lost his job and his family fell into financial crisis. He was stock of laugh for people who used to be afraid of him for his physical power and mental sharpness.
That was so painful to see as sister for both of us Meanwhile my sister returned and shifted to Islamabad with parents ,She was doing job in semi govt office for quite good salary.
We both sisters supported our brother 's family in their critical times by letting go all done to us by him as after all he was our blood.
Then we heard that he fell down from roof and damaged his backbone (he was trained army soldier who deliberately left his job after having court martial) .
His treatment needed a huge amount of money that mostly was paid by younger sister who was then in America with her first husband .I helped with lesser money than her though.
During these hardships when our brother's wife realized that we treated her nicely and specially cared for her kids ,she became little soft towards us .Though we know she cannot change her nature but i do all goodness to please my Creator .
Not his men who were or are cruel to me for their own stupid reasons!
I think everyone is responsible for their doings .I have always observed that people pay for their sins sooner or later though they admit or not but does it matter?
Tow sons of my brother do same to their parents what they did to their own parents .
Whenever i visit them, wife of my brother grieves upon her sons cruelties and asks me to give her sons some piece of advice to treat them as better as my sons treat me .
I try to do it honestly but i know and believe that this is natural process of reaping what they have sown .
But when i sit for pray i pray to my dear Lord that may he forgive their mistakes as i have forgiven them from depth of my heart.
Because i know they were lost in darkness of ignorance , they did not have the light to identify the difference between RIGHT AND WRONG!
May God ease their lives, amen!
"Because i know they were lost in darkness of ignorance , they did not have the light to identify the difference between RIGHT AND WRONG!"
ReplyDeleteYou are exactly right, in my opinion. People do the best they can with what they know at the time they do it. Sometimes they learn how to do better. Sometimes they don't.
And so much goes into "the best that they know" - upbringing, personality, life experiences, influence of friends, and random influences. So even children from the same parents can turn out very differently.
You are a wise person, baili, and very kind. It is hard to forgive even when we know people are doing their best, if they have wounded us in the past.
I am sorry to hear about your brother. It was wonderful that you and other members of your family really stepped up and did what was right. It is sad that not everyone treats everyone else with kindness and respect. It really is so unfortunate that along with the good things that people do, there is also a lot of bad.
ReplyDeleteGenerational cycles, but they can be broken. Only takes one person.
ReplyDeleteLife can be so terrible,
ReplyDeleteIt is easier to forgive what someone does to our parents than what they do to us. You are a better person than I am. I may have partially forgiven some people but I will never forget.
ReplyDeletePeople do pay for their sins in this life or the next.
ReplyDeleteGod is gracious. And so are you, my friend :)
How kind of you and your sister to help your brother's family in their time of need.
ReplyDeleteI think it is admirable that you treat them with kindness. God bless you, Baili!
ReplyDeleteHi, Baili! I've just read this post and your two previous posts. It amazes me to think of all that you have been through, and I'm glad that I knew there was a happy ending. I'm very glad that you didn't commit suicide. It would have been such a waste of a special life!
ReplyDeleteBut I understand the place you were in mentally. I have struggled with suicidal thoughts throughout my life. I came really close one night, but it was the thought of what such an act would do to my mother that stopped me. When people are in a self-destructive place it's hard for them to understand how warped their thinking is and they just want their suffering to end, the pain to stop.
Your mother was a determined and courageous woman. I think that she fought for you and your sister's educations so that you could be more self-reliant and independent. She knew how difficult life could be, especially for a woman.
I can't imagine what it would be like to be married to someone you didn't know or didn't like. It was a credit to your parents that they let you refuse the marriage proposals that you didn't want to accept. In the end you stayed true to yourself and married a good man.
Terry is my second husband. I was married once before to a man of my choosing, and I did not make a good choice. I was much wiser the second time around, and I am grateful for the wonderful partner I have in Terry.
Life is not easy, but I wouldn't have missed it. When I think about the times I was suicidal, I am so grateful that I didn't end my life ~ I would have missed so much that was good.
Thank you for having the courage to speak out about your experiences. Your words might be just the words to help someone else in crisis. I think it's important to know that people can get past self-destructive desires and go on to live rewarding lives.
Tipper Gore, the wife of a former vice-president of the United States, spoke out about her struggles with depression and how treatment helped her. Her encouraging people dealing with depression to seek help made me go get help. It changed my life. I'll never be cured of depression, but the medication I take has helped tremendously. If black thoughts creep in, I know I can beat them back and things will get better. I know life is a precious gift.
You were a responsible and compassionate sister helping your brother and his family through a difficult time. People do reap what they sow, but sometimes a helping hand can set them on the right course again. Your posts always give me a great deal to think about. Sending you a big hug!
My kind friend Louise thank you so much for always encouraging me through your magically powerful comments!
DeleteThought that stopped me from taking my life was that
MY MOM WILL BE ALONE .
SPECIALLY HER PASSIONATE LOVE FOR ME MADE ME THINK ABOUT HER GRIEF THAT SHE MIGHT HAVE ENCOUNTERED AFTER ME.
MY BROTHER WAS MENTAL CASE THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE. EXTREME IN HIS ALL VENTURES AND RELATIONSHIPS.
HE NEVER WAS GIVEN COURAGE TO HURT US PHYSICALLY THOUGH BUT WE WERE BEING MENTALLY TORTURED BY THOUGHTS THAT WE DON'T HAVE A BROTHER IN ACTUAL WAY.
HE WAS TOTALLY DESTRUCTION FOR HIS PARENTS, SISTERS, WIFE AND EVEN KIDS!
I LESS BLAME HIS WIFE THAN HIM BECAUSE HE WAS NUTS EVEN BEFORE HIS MARRIAGE.
HIS EXTREMISM LED HIM TO HURT HIMSELF AT THE END
HE GOT WEIRD PAINFUL HABIT TO WAVE HIS HEAD RIGHT AND LEFT AS POWERFULLY THAT HIS WHOLE SHAPE OF BODY GOT SHAKY LEANING.
WHILE DOING SO HE WOULD SAY iNCOMPREHENSible words and voices which was terrifying to watch and hear.
People around him would say he is cursed for he been doing to his family.
But we care for him though I can't say I love him but he is human he is blood and care for him come inevitably.
I am so happy that you found such wonderful life partner. Life tests us in many ways but peace is definite and obvious result for beautiful souls like you my friend :)
Sharing heart with others lighten our hearts and for this I am so grateful of my kind CREATOR and darling GOOGLE!
that helped us to connect!
I am grateful too, Baili, because you are a special friend who brightens my life and teaches me so much! Hugs to you!
DeleteYou and your sister provided for them in desperate times. God is good.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, Baili.
ReplyDeleteAll the best Jan
Dearest Baili, all you say here, I feel myself deep down. We DO all reap what we sow. I have always totally believed that every action of ours will eventually return to us in kind: if we hurt someone, then we will be hurt...and if we are kind to someone then we, ourselves, will receive kindness.
ReplyDeleteIt is the balance of the Universe. Yes, you are so right, dear Friend!
Dear Baili...oh thank you so much for having the courage to share your experiences with us. You are helping us to put our own experiences also into perspective.
You are one of the most kind and caring people I have ever come across...and it is a real privilege to know you!😊😊
All my love and hugs ❤❤❤
My kind friend and precious friend Ygraine!
DeleteHOW can I thank you enough for your generous overwhelming words!!!!
Yes since so beginning of my thoughts I believe that our actions follow us until they show us their results.
Whatever I do with people around me us to PLEASE MY CREATOR.
I do it selflessly because I have faith that
HE IS ALWAYS WATCHING ME WHETHER I AM LONELY OR IN CROWD AND HE IS LIVINLOVING AND GRACIOUS TO REMEMBER ALL THE TIME AND TO ANSWER OUR PRAYS
MY DEEPEST LOVE FOR YOU MY FRIEND !
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ReplyDeleteBlessings to you, dear Baili.
ReplyDeleteI agree with someone who said that cycles can be broken and only takes one person. A brave person. May the Lord bless you.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about your brother. How beautiful and kind of you and your sister helping the family out.
ReplyDeleteThe grace of the Lord is sufficient, but the tests are very real. Keep trusting!
ReplyDeleteIf you live with anger in our hearts it becomes impossible to be happy.
ReplyDeleteHave a great week.
You are a gentle soul, Baili. Your heart is in the right place. When there is a choice, kindness is the better one. I hope you had a lovely weekend xo
ReplyDeleteSuch an impressive and uplifting post, dearest Baili! Thank you for reminding us of what is really important in life.
ReplyDeleteHowever, as I have written here earlier, I don't think - unfortunately - that our good deeds will be finally paid with kindness. It may happen, but not necessarily. Why do I write this? Perhaps to give my sympathy to those people that have always tried to be good and righteous and will never see their kindness returned to them. World is not fair... let's hope that what will come after this world will be.
Hugs and blessings to you.
Fico triste por saber o que aconteceu com seu irmão. Muita coragem…
ReplyDeleteUma boa semana.
Um beijo.
It is so difficult when a member of the family has problems, you most certainly did the right thing in supporting your brother's family, even though it must have been very hard for you to do so.
ReplyDeleteEverything you write about, touches my soul, because I can relate, but I can't share on my blog! Love you my friend! Big Hugs!
ReplyDeleteHow difficult it must have been for you to be treated unkindly, and yet you returned this behavior with kindness on your own part. It was generous of you and your sister to help out your brother and his family.
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