Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Travelling The Inner Universe !


Sitting on the dinning chair front of my laptop i am feeling bit sad ,not because i could not have my son on expected time but more because my last posting seemed to sadden heart of my friends whom i always like to encourage to stay positive no matter how hard the time is. I don't like this .I don't like to have negative feelings inside me ,it feels like i lack oxygen and can't breath properly and this is most scary feeling for anyone alive believe me.

This is not because i don't like to feel sad ,Actually to me it's okay to feel sad once in while because i believe that sadness is a genuine feeling and serves for better in us ,makes us feel healthy emotionally when passed and bring us stronger feeling of joy and gratefulness as well. So it is nice to feel sad once in a while as according to physics law universe has pattern of "waves " which has "up" and "down " so it is obvious to have down after each up and having up after each down .I think all the quotes regarding positiviism have this background .

Sadness is like autumn ,it's influence is rich ,deep and meaningful for people with creative power i think so because i too write a "little bit" so i find myself writing more when i am sad . Yes when i look at my previous written diaries i see they are all written during times when i felt intense and lonely in my life. As a tiny writer with little understanding of life i can say that sadness helps writers to write more or better to some extent .

My present state of sadness differs one i used to experience in my life in past. Despite of my special inner connection to super power of this universe i was still a common person who valued things and relationships existing physically and materialistically so i felt more "sad " and " little disappointed" both  when something bad or unexpected happened in my life. I felt broken ,alone and i cried a lot. I also  did some stupidities to feel better. 

Now when i look back at those times and part of me that existed then i feel like i was held in cage of negativity back then. There was some lush soothing  plant of faith within me to which my physical being was not able to connect perfectly and water properly though i always raised back to surface after each stronger push of negativity that tried to sink me.

I was fortunate to realize that "inner voice" which was trying to pull me in towards my "inner universe". We are not just part of a One Whole Divine Pool which we call "universe" but we have same ingredients and features as our origin has so acting similarly is so natural.

Gradually i started  to feel that "inner Pull" and started to follow it blindly ,blindly mean?

I had been always following this inner pull without being conscious of it ,So when i decided to travel inwardly i encountered with so many my previous situations ,decisions and the results i gained from them ,that encouraged me to not hesitate to follow it blindly  that guided me for moving further into my inner universe fearlessly and follow the genuine paths and natural destination it led to me.

The more i stepped in my "inner universe" the better i understood world outside me. That was astonishing in the beginning because it was really hard to accept that life can be as easy once your own thoughts are well read and well comprehend by you.

It was incredibly amazing to feel that there was no thing like "loneliness" or "disappointment" .

I realized that i was not alone but my being was created within something far far more powerful Energy than me. Despite of perfect separate existence my being was wholly solely connected to something divine and supreme .That divine and supreme energy was like an endless vast sea in which i felt floating like a bubble of it. The Energy existing within this sea had access to encompass my being from within as well as from outside. The phenomena of such dramatic existence felt exceptionally fascinating . Despite of all the strong connection and complete dependency to this Energy i was free to take shape of my choice ,adopt habits of my liking ,set behaviors that i find right for me. I was totally free to exist willfully and for this i was supported by that Energy just like a mother leaves her child to act freely after telling him all good and bad and what is right or wrong for him. What kind of person i want to be was totally "Up To Me" isn't it most beautiful thing to learn that i was born free to live free and make free choices. 

There must be some people like me either  who when once learn the "true face of reality" feel serenity that never leaves them during any disturbing circumstances of life in future. 

"Just like a child who feels protected and peaceful once he realize that he is holding the part of scarf his mother wearing !"

So gradually i grasped  that i was one of those shy or coward children who are always afraid to be left alone in this crowd if they lost the hand of their mother .

Few years back i counted the blessings i had such as life ,health ,shelter and family and felt grateful for them but now i realized that having all such blessings is more precious and meaningful when you see the how and where are the things placed for you!

If i was going to die before  realizing my place in this pattern of life i would have not acquired such sense of fulfillment and peace.

One thing i hated to have in life is "disappointment" .I hardly felt really disappointed but low for while when odd occurred in my life and i feel it was because of this little plant of faith planted in my soul i don't know by whom and since when. Since i learnt how my existence is directly connected to my origin and supported by it completely i found out how can i keep  this connection more "active" to get maximum strength and there is only one rope to tied it stronger is "Unshaken Faith" .Once you are aware how mechanism of things work your faith on a machine is deeper, similarly when i have learnt while travelling in my inner universe how the pattern of this "Sea of Divine Energy" works my faith on Nature or Creator is ultimate !

And once you are on this" level of faith " your possibility to experience miracles is more .

I can feel sad but i cannot feel disappointed because i see the scenario of life on biggest canvas and being part of it makes me think of   things on little bigger scale . I try to follow the rule of Nature or Creator whatever you call it and try to exist harmlessly which makes me hopeful that Nature will support me back for it as it does for everyone else.


Whenever i feel that negativity is trying to haunt me down i close my eyes and find myself  existing within pattern that is my origin and is always there for me .Even with my open eyes i can see now how my being is floating in sea of Divine Energy .It is very Real and Comforting feeling for a child ! I wish we all feel that we are in lap of mother and her children who are obliged to support each other as part of her existence !


Monday, November 29, 2021

We Have To Wait


We were preparing to receive our eldest son after three long years but  last Sunday my eldest son called and looked bit stressed . I thought it was tiredness of his long trip to Sintra town but he told that his HR informed him last day that company is going through some kind of huge changes in first two weeks of December  (not allowed to mention) so it will be better for all employees to remain present physically meanwhile. He informed that he cancelled his seat while ago though not completely .He has open ticket now and he will rebook the seat when things are finalized .He also mentioned that he has to book before a month or two because tickets are too expensive due to covid thing .

We felt quite sad as we were very happy to have hope that he will be home within a week. My senses dimmed for while but i composed myself immediately when i realized that his sadness must be graver than ours as he was away from home since three years and looked quite low when mentioned all this . He said he was all ready to fly home and did lots of shopping for this purpose too though he has to wait now!

I ,we buried our sorrow inside our heart and try to comfort him with positive conversation smilingly. I still think of him if he is more disturbed than us !

All parent want their children to be happy in life ,we have no issue until he is doing fine in life and moving further to achieve his dreams ! Our prayers and best wishes are with him each moment!

We are trying to get out of this tense feeling asap and i  hope we will feel better in few days . Life is beautiful no matter what ,every day has new surprise for us and we must keep this in our mind though being parent it is most difficult task i think!

It is good to have many photos of children as they can sooth  soul of desperate parents to  some extent .

     were dreaming of such happy family time together ,i hope the day will come soon by the grace of Lord! image is taken in 2017 when my son was preparing to leave for Germany .

it was first time for us to part from our son for  one possible year and he was going to foreign country which made us really anxious and sensitive ,we took many such photos ,my son came to visit us after one year as he promised but then covid took over the world and like us so many parents and relatives starved for their kids and family unfortunately ! i heard Britain had banned some countries once again specially from asian lands ,this is worrying for parents like us . 

 I found this lovely quote online ,how true ! In this whole world i since beginning never ever longed for any worldly joy but "family" in which i can give my love like farmer water the fields and gardens ,in return i always wanted to see them flourish in this world with all i tried them to brought up with!

I have no wish to harvest because i am not a businesswoman but a mother who's veins have fluid of love for her children and who's breathes are dense with prays for their children ! all i want them to be healthy ,happy and successful in life ,amen!

Hope i did not make you sweet friends sad ,please don't be ,you know me i am positive and i will feel better soon :)

blessings to all of you and all you love !

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Visit to Heavenly Sintra Town And Pena Palace By My Son

Sorry if i am being little late for reading your blogs dear friends  as shorter days are giving me little tough time when there is one week left in arrival of my eldest son from Lisbon Portugal . We are trying to rearrange things so house can look more neat and much well coming for our baba who is coming home after three years ,heartfelt prays for him and all travelers ,may everyone have safe journey amen!

Beautiful weather is another excuse which compel us to spend more time out in the front yard ,such cooler days are really rare here when senses seems to work well and one feels able  to be out and observe whatever little natural beauty is present before eyes, as  hot weather which lasts almost nine to ten months here force  us to stay confined in the rooms under the fan mostly.
 Hubby has started seasonal plantation and to begin with he has brought few rose plants from the nursery  last day. Plants had already few flowers  which filled colors in our yard instantly . Chilled breeze and divinely blue sky making days glorious thankfully!

My eldest son  visited Sintra town an outstrike  of Lisbon .It is situated in the lap of Sintra mountains . He  shared some spectacular photos of  sintra park and  a magnificent  castle called Pena Palace  there. Red and yellow palace is right on the hill top and gives commending view of the town below. For the trip actually my son had to choose between Porto and Sintra and he found Sintra more attractive as he loves serene natural sights more like his parents i guess :) The images he shared are breathtakingly beautiful to me as loved all the natural beauty along the way till top of the hill and the gorgeous view that palace offer :)  I am thankful to my son and his friend who (whom he met during his surfing lesson not online which i mentioned in previous post mistakenly sorry)  took such amazing and lovely shots throughout the tour !

fascinating road ,specially those that travel upwardly ,they always have strong appeal for me ,getting down is easy but once you are up there what you get makes you forget tiredness earned by journey from below to up.

hill stations are my favorite too ,i love lush and peaceful environment  they offer ,i remember scenes from so many movies when doctor says to patient "you must spend sometime on some hill station you will feel better" i think they were so right bout it.

away from city rush hours one must feel relax and regain his mental energy lost in city noise while observing the natural beauty around and hear the whisper of silence. 

old but a gorgeous fountain ,the sound of water must heal the soul of listener :) 


                 i think he/she has grapes in hands still posture seems uneasy i could not figure out why 

                                                           must be an ancient cathedral 
i wish i can learn the story about this couple as their pose makes me curious and little sad because the he has hold her seems like it was move to protect and comfort her ?

it feels good to see life is getting back to it's norm ,i like seeing different spread on ground here and there celebrating life with gratefulness ,being familiar and kind to each other and offering help ,this is what life for indeed! 

                                             maple leaves floating in water look tranquil 

this and few more photos of such narrow stone ways i wonder what kind of place and for what it had been used ?

either i would have found so hard to stop taking photos as the whole upward journey looks filled with stunning views that demand visitors to stop for while and click to preserve and take this beauty along .

             looks like an ancient caves or tunnel built for some protection or hideout for army may be 

i have seen one side stair in some old well for cleaning purpose but never saw such well which seems built for visiting instead of water ,intriguing isn't it ?

doorway to tunnel or cave i think , do you feel scared when you have to enter some cave ,i think of early people who lived in such caves for thousand years ,that natural lifestyle kept them more active and healthy than us who are forced to watch tv and shop instead 

 happily dancing angle probably , dancing is expression that can vary with mood but i think of the " dance of Universe " don't you think the whole universe and all the objects with it are dancing round and round from an basic atom to largest body floating in space everything seems to dance smoothly ,do you wonder who makes them do so ? i wonder and alot ! 

you can only imagine the gratefulness a mother feels when she sees her babies are doing fine by the grace of kind lord and trying to exist successfully ! my heartfelt prayers for all ,may all mothers on this earth find same joy amen!

         would you like to have cup of coffee here while inhaling the beauty of scene :) i would definitely :)

i think masks are necessary here specially inside the building though outside it depends on distancing probably ,the exquisite artwork on walls resembles with Islamic art we find in Persian architecture i think . 

        looks like this palace yard is used  for special gatherings as you can see the arrangements for sitting 

                                 Loved this image Most!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  found the clouds pattern amazing here 

                         few huge parks here have such rides here too but i prefer walking instead 

Jesco is friend whom my eldest son met during his surfing class ,My son adores him for his love for travel as he has visited many countries already including Mexico and Sri Lanka though he is only 22 mashallah ! they both enjoyed traveling together and a lot according to my son . 

     what if you have to live there ,i would love to ,i miss my native home and the days i spent there were most beautiful despite of all odds !

                                                         looks like a lovely painting to me !

i found this color scheme unique and DELIGHTFUL , castle appeals eyes from far because of such exuberant colors  

Okay that is all for now precious people ,i will be joining you asap.
please keep being kind to you and all around you as kindness is Best gift you have received from divine Creator and you can share it with all you meet in life :)
wishing you all best in days ahead!
God bless you all!

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