Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Stuck Between The Battle But With A Way Out

I find myself quite lucky to be optimistic . I don't know whether i inherited this quality from parents my mother specially who was despite of all her complains about suffering of life gave her was an optimistic person .I can say this because i hardly saw her wearing the stress shawl and avoiding family or duties as house wife and responsible and caring mother. It is right that she was swept away by the wave of  nostalgia  once in a while .The strongest hits of that wave were few among which most powerful was lamenting over her died son at very early age (13 or twelve).

But it would take her an hour or two to get hold of herself back and she was again an amazingly strong and cheerful person who then seemed only thing in whole world so precious and loveable.

When i try to figure out what makes me as hopeful and faithful i realize it is the pattern i am able to see in things . The pattern that attracted me always so powerfully . The pattern that my became more obvious and and eloquent with time . I see unification and connection in everything existing here  in this universe. Today it makes me happy that science has the same opinion  that everything seems to make it's journey in circle and is connected . 

I feel that unseen form of energy is the "real thing " actually and  matter is it's just a "fabric" 

I know so many what ,why and how rise after we reach to one conclusion .But don't you too feel that no matter what is the form or wherever the fabric of matter is visible ,energy hidden behind this fabric has same behavior .Dark or bright ,strong or gentle ,good or bad ,hard or soft kind or cruel so on..

The energy wrapped in any form of matter seems to basically of two types. The whole game of life and universe is based on the battle between both energies . 

Scientist have proven facts that everything existing in the universe from single particle to larger bodies have counter parts  and both parts are destined to repel each other . This repellent behavior is the whole story in which scenario of life and universe has been written.

Why then it is not possible that the Energy we humans are made up of is also of two kinds ,"positive energy " and "negative energy"

The concept of angle sitting on our both shoulders is well comprehend with this theory i believe.

So from the very beginning when first human being came to existing he contained  was actually a bundle of both energies positive one on one hand was to make him rise and shine with wisdom and strength and Negative on the other hand was to break him down to destroy him to whither him away into pieces .

But why ,God could have make this easy for his man if wanted to but seems like he does not want to put us at ease at all . He probably want us to "locate and realize the reality of battle we are put in as humans" and then want us to "be careful"  with this battle between both types of energy within us.

What is our role in this fight . Are we allow to play randomly and stronger let the side win naturally ?

And the consequences of each victory will shape our destiny automatically ???

No we are forgetting one most important thing here ,the crown put on our head before we were sent there was "free will" 

Free will that separate us from other species .

I believe that the whole game is about this " freedom of choice" in reality .

Between the battle of  both energies within us How we use this "free will" and what choice we make is the

 "Main Act of the Show"

The God who seems to love his creations so much as he has provided all we need here in next thousands years  .

Should we expect from that God that he is unkind and cruel to his men ?

It Is hard to believe for me because pattern in things tells that how everything is the reason the existence of the other which explains that love and support is basic theme of life.

We loose his kindness when we make wrong choices only .Even If you don't believe in God you might believe in law of attraction or laws of Nature which are ultimate and irreversible . 

These laws that has shaped universe and life here  prove that we reap the fruits of our choices most of the time .

So being careful while making choice is crucial always. This carefulness is the obedience of laws that rule the world and breaking divine laws can never be beneficial .


Sunday, March 26, 2023

The Stuff Of My Heart With Art Sent By Younger Son

 It's a beautiful day of the March . Views bathing in sunshine look tranquil and profound .Plants of my little garden look happy to embrace breeze .No doubt spring has it's own magic which captivates our sense thoroughly:) Temperature is swinging around 30 c or below to it which is mild for people living in area which temperature rise to 50c from May . So each day with bearable environment is gift by the grace of God! 

It is 4pm hardly two and half hour to sunset .As you might know that the month of Ramadan has started few days ago .so my younger son is fasting fondly . I have to wake up for him at 4am to make him breakfast so he can keep fasting during the day. I shared in my previous post that i have started to take yogurt since two weeks almost and it has worked miraculously for me so i am able to fast after six years :) Yes many years ago  i used to fast every year because of habit my formed by my mom .But many years ago i had to quit fasting first because of severe stomach troubles and later terrible headache that was unbearable during fasting time specially after two pm . I could not understand what was causing such pain which would keep me down and seize my mobility absolutely. That would make system of household chaotic .

But This year taking yogurt ,such a simple thing solved such big issue of my life thankfully. First fasting day was Thursday my son had fast but the fear of worst headache kept me away from even having thought of it. But at Friday i encouraged myself while thinking that as because yogurt has made me feel lot better ,it might help to fast pain freely . And guess what despite of fasting i remained fine and active from dawn to dusk by the grace of Lord! 

I fast because i like having stomach empty for somedays and yes it makes me feel more close to my Creator because of mental state it provides throughout the day. Doctor and all most all religious doctrine recommends fasting because of benefits it brings along. Probably just like our brain clears trash during sleep ,putting stomach on sleep for a while cleans the toxic material from within it.

Sharing a painting made and shared by my younger son from Karachi. His first painting with acrylic paint gifted by his best friends on his birthday. He has good art skills as i shared some of his arts in my far previous post few years ago .  

   Favorite characters from one of his anime show ,i found it quite nice actually specially shading and expressions (though i know nothing about paining lol)

                                  another he had shared few weeks ago 

              now some smiles of nature from my little garden 

      sight of my neem tree fills me with joy and gratitude always 

after three months construction work when we saw garden suffering under various burdens it was hard to imagine that it will get his life back within few "caring" months . Thanks to God and thanks to sweet hubby who loves gardening so much and enjoys having beauty of Nature close by ! 
Thanks for bearing with me dear people !
see you soon .
keep being kind to yourself and all around you!


Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Photos From Anime Show ,Gettogether and few More Glimpse Of Bali

 Hey kind people!

have been busy with guests from in laws lately ,so sorry if i am bit late for reading your posts or comment . Hope all is great at your part of land ,Our is receiving constant earthquake shock everyday almost. With no certainty of future or thought of past lets live this moment with absolute gratitude and faith that keep us hopeful no matter what.

Sharing some photos shared by my both precious babies ,Few from Bali trip that i found worth sharing and some from younger son Karachi .His university arranged an exciting event for youth .Main theme was dedicated to anime .Participants wore costumes of famous anime characters. My younger and youngest both grew up watching different anime shows and recommended us to watch some particular  shows too. We watched and specially me found them really beautiful or some very beautiful shows i ever saw. Hope you will enjoy the glimpse friends 

                                                                  my son 's classmates 

i could recognize only Ang 

 on my request eldest son shared  this photo ,he arranged a little gettogether at his apartment on Saturday night for playing board games 

i still feel good about his scuba diving :)

                                              i liked the Bali beaches and water falls 

                                                                           what a view 

                                                                             Captivating !


                                                        water is has power hard to resist 

   Nature has so much to say to offer to appeal to reveal to discover ,all this all need is one gaze of love  and contemplation 


Health Peace and Happiness to you and to all you love!

Thursday, March 16, 2023

A Timeless Desire

 Do you ever feel that our hidden desires become so obvious as we age. I feel quite helpless front of my desire of learning sometimes. Helplessness is not an enjoyable state for all of us .

When i see back in time i realize that desire for learning kept me anxious since i was child. As little girl from village consist of 33 houses hardly it was challenging to satisfy the urge for learning. 

After befriending with hills and trees laying before my eyes i would spend rest of my time in doing homework ,helping mom in house and reading digests , or books borrowed from school library and scrolling magazines brought by my father.

While helping mom when reading was not possible i would on the radio and listen literary programs hosted by prominent intellectual personalities of 80s. 

Despite of being annoyed for my such endless desperation my mother would walk some miles to town near by to post letters i would write to radio programs . I now, wonder how a mother living in small village like that can be as understanding and broadminded ,so she would take pain to post letters of her daughters to strangers without raising any question?

My eyes get teary when i think of the depth of my mom had as person . Such deep love and strong faith in child is rarely seen. 

As a person what matters for me in relationship is having blind 

" faith" in each other. And this is because my mom made me habitual of it by having it in me. For me this "faith" is love actually. 

I think i was in my early or mid teens when mom bought a 14 inch black and white tv . Unlike now tv had only channel that would start from 3pm to 12am. At the beginning international supports were shown for one hour . At 4pm a program for Quran learning would be telecast for half hour and then some English show for children would come . Only one drama would telecast at 8pm after that news followed by political show . I would wait for 11pm when an old Hollywood would come. I don't have words to tell how desperately i would wait for the movie because it was the only thing that would match my mental level of "entertainment " 

I wish i would have written down the names of those movies and shared it with you so i can hear how much you love them . But i can tell that they were some best telecast on our national television subject wise and presentation. 

I would call radio my second mom back then . But tv and books even digest added much into my knowledge . And this is because i was keen learner . 

I still have a copy on which i would write random stuff copied  from various sources including pieces of paper i would get with some food i buy such as fritters etc .

Now when i am in my early fifties i still feel desperate to learn something all the time . 

Feels like something is "Missing" from the map of life and this anxiousness is pointing out towards it . What it can be " 

Can't say right now.

I tried to chase my instinct for learning blindly ,I ma good at "self control" thankfully but this innocent desire does not seems to come in list of restriction for me so i follow it everywhere .

I thought after  taking  my my masters degree in English i would feel satisfied but feels like when i crossed one river i saw many others ahead ...

For now i am trying to fill this space with book reading ,watching thrillers and mysteries on Netflix and  wondering how it will end?

Or there is no end no beginning just circling round and round ? 

If so ,then this desire has been wearing me since timelessness probably 

thank you for being incredibly kind always dear friends! 

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