Tuesday, April 30, 2024

The Posture Matters And Renewed Dining Table

 Hello sweet hearts 

Hope beating beautifully on the rhythm of life !

Remember we had a dining table . Hubby have get it made on order eight years back almost. We loved how elegant it looked. It was like dream come true to have our own dinning table. I would love to enjoy family meals together whenever kids visited home specially .But when torrential rain occurred two years back hubby decided to move the dining table in veranda due to trembling roof. It had rained for three months almost in our city . We got our all the roofs trembled  during rains except our bedroom and portion of our veranda attached to it. Later when the rains passed hubby found it appropriate to keep the table in study room (third room where kids study). I objected on the decision because dinning table would help us a lot when we have guests. It seems easy to clean the dinning table instead of all the vast area where children eat and make mess .Hubby said let's keep it on side for while as i see table is huge and takes half of the room  which restricts our movement as well. I found the reason genuine so table was put there for two years. The second thing i missed meanwhile was writing posts while sitting on dinning chair which keeps my posture straight and it naturally help my brain work properly.

Last week hubby brought few carpenters who examined the table if it can cut down from sides and turn into oval shape . The deal settled with one man who mentioned that plate (upper sheet) of the table can be broken during process of separation of it's legs. But it did not happen luckily and table  was ready within one day .Wanted to share my joy with you as it looks nicer than before and fits in smaller part of the room which is satisfactory. I am happy i found the table back and writing this post while sitting on it's chair .It is feeling of ease :)

Thanks for kind comments on previous post dear friends !

                                                                               God bless you all!

Friday, April 26, 2024

The Odds Of Cousins Part one

When i attended weddings recently ,something happened that stirred some sore memories from my life in my native town as teenager. 

As i mentioned i grew up in a small village where most of the families were in blood relationship . People of different cast also lived like family members because of  sharing same place and culture for long time. 

Cousin marriages were so common that most of the girls and boys were considered as future couple during infancy with or without official announcement .Both parties will develop feeling of liking  (or disliking in rare cases ) towards each other naturally while growing up. The dominance shown by male cousins over female cousins was accepted by parents of both as norm . And it was equal for all female cousins rather than just one whom they would take as future wife. 

My family was exception in this regard because my parents ,mom particularly would not approve such norms nor would follow any rule that was threat for her children ,daughters particularly . My parents had lived in a big city for more than a decade before moving to the village so they had broad mindset though not much liberal . Mother would always kept telling us how to stay aware and alert among boys and decline their  authority as males to avoid advantages they take with such privilege. With strong instinct to learn i absorbed my mother's message to be strong and ready to survive in male dominated world. In her opinion this was the only tool that is handy for girls so they can keep their self respect saved and live an honorable life in society where no man is blamed if something happened to girl and only girl is blamed for crimes she never committed but her naivety made her anticipate . she could have avoid the misery if would have behaved smartly on time. 

Story began when i started to go to school in age around 6 or 7. It was my first school in neighboring village. The school had  two big hall like rooms and huge front yard where children would sit on the ground on long pieces of  rugs. There were few trees and a handpumps in the center. It had five grades and two teachers only. All of my other  school  going cousins were male . They had many reason to dislike me . The biggest reason that i was girl who should stay at home and play with dolls like other girls of the town do. Second i was tough to make feel bad or low which they seemed to desired most. They would behave okay when we would leave the village but on the way they would try to mock me with their words and chat. My first cousin who was son of my aunt(mom's sister) would lead the boys in all their mischiefs. I felt bad and started to keep distance . It was just beginning .They got their third reason to hate more when studies started. I was best in all my early school performances and teacher would like me most . They would sometime provoke boys that they should learn from a girl younger and junior from them as she rise hands first and tell correct answer when they remain silent and keep their head low during tests. I was in first grade and my cousin was in third . 

In short ,till next year this led them to conspire against me and took help of local girls of higher grades . Now they were one group led by other boys and girls of that village and my cousins .A girl of forth grade  Nazima was the worst. She was tall ,strong and fearless. They would try to humiliate me with their stupid tricks from start to end.I had  carefree nature  and despite feeling bothered or sad occasionally i never felt any serious disliking towards them .I was happy alone always and would never step into dispute until it comes to physical threat. My cousins realized that so they decided to take it to next level.In the meantime few of the girls who were supposed to create fight with me so can get me punished by the teachers when found me  harmless later , became my friends except Nazima . Nazima was the only girl in boys group who would follow me everywhere now to look for chance to bother and make me fight. When she failed , one day she came to me when i was trying to drink water from pitcher pump. She snatched handle from my hands suddenly and  said "look if you can take it back " her smile reflected her intentions.

Few minutes were left of breaktime. I asked her to let me drink as teacher won't allow to drink later because recess just has finished . Her ruthless eyes were blinking mockingly and she kept chuckling. Meanwhile my cousins were clapping and whistling at the distance and few girls were standing closer around us. I  had to drink after eating spicy omelet so i tried to grab handle hurriedly but she started to push me down and slap on head and face. She later left the handle and attacked with serious determination. I was on ground but still not fallen completely. She was pulling my hair now and trying to make me fall. While struggling to not lay on ground i was unable to see because our hair and arms were restraining the view as one of her hand was pulling my collar now and other hair .I could not realize that my finger entangled in her trouser elastic in struggle to approach her hair. Her elastic broke away suddenly. I did not know what happened next because my head was forced down by the pressure of her hands and half of her upper body was leaned upon me. Though i remember that noise of crowed dimmed at once and converted into  serious whispers. When i felt her grip has loosen, i got up shakenly ,removed hair from my eyes . I saw Nazima was sitting surrounded by girls. I thought they were celebrating their success but something seemed wrong with their face expressions . They were looking at me as i was guilty of something instead of Nazima. When breaktime ended and  teachers returned to classes .The case was presented before teachers. It's not that everyone did not realize what happened with me was unfair but things turned against me unfortunately when teachers learnt about broken elastic. They were not interested in listening whole story because they thought it had became matter of honor of  their student and reputation of the school. Despite my condition was bad because of Nazima's beating teacher decided to punish me only that day. To be honest if i was on their place i would have done same most probably. What happened was out of my intention but teachers had to make it up for the Nazima's family and for the sake of school. The senior teacher got up and took hold of his heavy ,thick and  famous spiky stick. He asked me to stand firm and came closer by holding his stick . I remember i could not feel the fear because my eyes were teary and heart was burdened by  what had happened to Nazima by me accidently .

Teacher hit my foot on little above heels where both side of a foot has rising of bones .Teacher hit directly on same place repeatedly until i fell on the ground . I wasn't crying loudly but i think my tears were falling on my face. That was last day of my second and last year in that school . That day will always remain among most powerful memories of my childhood. My first cousin and other cousins  finally succeeded in their mission because they got rid of me as their self created opponent .

That day i could not walk to home because horrible pain and swelling in feet . It was terrible to crawl on hills with the help of hands. My hands were soaked with thorns and spikes of stones. I made that journey to home in one and a quarter hour or so. My cousins cloud not leave me alone on hills because they had fear of grandparents and my mother's query .They chased me on the distance.

That same teacher who beat me that visited my home in 1988,when i completed my tenth grade . He came to aske for my hand for his younger brother who was govt employ too. I found it amusing how he was saying repeatedly that  how nice and obedient student i was back then.

Back to the original story. When we grew up into mid teens my aunt asked for my hand for my cousin . Mom refused at once because she did not like my cousin who was just spoiled boy of rich family and that is it. He had no respect for anyone specially women. He would misbehave with women of his family. His father died early so he had full control over house . He had many bad habits which consumed his property and cattle within a decade. He left school in primary grades and did no job entire his life. He only sold his lands all his life for living and still doing same .He has hardly few pieces left on the name of land. His wife and kids suffered so much because he was their head. They do laborious jobs because he does not support them financially .

My cousin could not handle the refusal and made many attempts to harras me in which he failed only because i was mentally prepared that he can do something like this. After failures he tried to conspire against me by aligning with his friends. He made false story about my involvement in one of his friend and made others alibi of meeting that never took place because i never saw that boy .

The whole drama was presented before my parents ,grandma and uncles .But nothing he could prove because my elders knew me far better than him and this was best gift from my God!

Later i was informed that my aunt and my cousin (one who is wife of my brother now) were part of the conspiracy too.

I don't want to go into sad details what happened to all those who took part in this shameful thing because it feels painful as after all they were my own people my blood. God forgive them!

I wanted to share this but was gathering strength . 

Thanks for bearing with me dear friends! 

blessings to all of you!


Monday, April 22, 2024

Photos And Rhyme


Hello precious beautiful souls 
Enjoying the life's scroll ?

Having fun with season's glitter 
Some days sweet and some days bitter

Habit of holding Hope so tight 
Keeps the even dark day bright :)

                             Though big is worries mount 
                              don't forget to blessings count 

                                    Sometimes feels loved ones don't care 
                                            Always  keep your side "fair" 
                            Save you personal dignity (as) 
                             Love is highest form of Charity 

                                    See the God in smiling face
                                    World still is livable place 

                                         Do You see when  nature's smile ?
                              Try to stir your soul for while 
                              With the warmth of love of God 
                              Making your horizons broad 

                        Selfless friends are true soul mates 
                         Standing like heaven's gate 
                         Entrance of "sooth" and "heal"   
                         Returning your "soul's feel"    

                                        This was Eid's second day 
                           That we spent with our "sonray"           
                           Family is shade of Divine grace !
                            All the odds so we can face 

                                                Love of simple things is gift 
                                       Spare us from adrift 

                         She forgot to say here "cheese"
                         Eid day picture shared by niece 

                                   Eid day being celebrate 
                                                     By my niece with lovely cat 

                            Cat looks tired of photo session
                                          But kids want to have more fun 

                                              Sister in law also took part 
                                              While cat wondered what she got "

                              This was taken weeks ago 
                               Now sunlight has made them go 

                                       Roses loosing weight and charm 
                                         For them 30 plus C is quite warm 

                          I did this (hina) on the moon night (night before Eid)
                         Because younger son could not arrive
                         My joy dose not wait devise 
                         On the time sun has to rise 

                         This is youngest son's first try 
                          I loved more his butterfly ! 

                           Thanks for being my sweet guest

                            May Life Treat You Always With Best 

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

A Needed Separation

I have been trying to share a lot how meditation switched my mindset from confused and blur to clear and transparent state throughout  the years. I feel hesitation to repeat this frequently but motive only to those who are willing to improve how they feel about life and everything. We see such stuff often online but sometimes we need proof whether transformation is real or possible. It is actually ,the only thing we need here is "interest" to take first step which seems hard at first because our hard wired mind resist to accept the change suddenly. But believe me once you cross the resistance you will realize that once you step into spiritual or higher dimension of your "self" or "being" every concept you had for everything will change and only truth that remains with you is only your true "self" or Being" which has complete command over your conscious mind who has kept you on toes for reason don't matter . Sharing an other 

Brief message  shared in this video .I liked how accurately message is delivered actually .It helps to understand importance of having command over our conscious mind really nicely . Please try to watch specially the last half .

Thank you for being great support always dear friends . We are family and bond to care for each other as humans .This is the only thing God or Nature want from us to make our existence meaningful! 

Thursday, April 11, 2024

Happy Eid To All Who Celebrate !

   Happy Eid 2024 dear friends !
We celebrated our Eid 's first day yesterday on 10th of April . Our youngest son arrived on Eid morning and it was huge pleasure to have him with us on our yearly festive day . Our eldest son called us on Chand Rat (translation of term is moon night before Eid day) and spent some precious online time with us by the grace of God even though it was his office day he managed to call again on Eid day as well and it made us so happy because the feeling of having all kids close by seems priceless to parents and i know many can relate to it!
sorry that i could not respond to my previous post comments because of so much business related to Chand Rat and Eid day preparations. Needless to say such day awake so many memories related to days when we were kids and living under the shade of  love of parents .Now when they are gone ,these memories value most on such occasions. I will keep in touch .My younger son will leave after at the end of this week and i want to spend each moment with home during he is here  . God Bless you all!!!!

                                                                  taken on Eid morning 

                                                                 captured while ago


Monday, April 8, 2024

Do You Dare To Enter The Cave ?


I often wonder what is blocking us to notice that our world has been designed to change and vary constantly . The only stable thing is  "change" here 

I wonder what is restraining us to understand that theme of this design is based on "opposition".  Repel between energies is giving things an appearance and format . Connection that depends on  resistance . sounds strange  yet true link 

Human body is not exception. So,

Scientist say our body is made up of 37.2 trillion cells . Each cell has both charge negative and positive. link.

Do we know why each cell has been given a nucleus ?

In nucleus lies the possibility of which charge whether negative or positive is going to take over. here is what science say about it (source google) 

"By housing the cell's genome, the nucleus serves both as the repository of genetic information and as the cell's control center. DNA replication, transcription, and RNA processing all take place within the nucleus, with only the final stage of gene expression (translation) localized to the cytoplasm"

I believe human brain is our Nucleus  where is placed our "super position" as humans (ability to make choice)when it comes to living day to day life . here is what science says about human brain (source google ),

"The human brain is like the nucleus in that they both have a similar goal. The brain and the nucleus are both in control and dictate what the person/cell does. The nucleus controls eating, moving, and reproduction, and the same goes for the human brain"

another scientific definition below to help my point, (google)

 "What is the brain? The brain is a complex organ that controls thought, memory, emotion, touch, motor skills, vision, breathing, temperature, hunger and every process that regulates our body."

also link here.

Do we use our "super position" as human and process our thoughts carefully before turning them into actions for real ? Or follow our instinct blindly ? without realizing how dangerous the consequences can be if keep doing it for long term .

Why such ultra boring post today ?, because all the observations ,experiences ,learnings and my intuition of my 52 years life is pointing out strictly that solution  

for all human problems are hidden in this boring cave( peaking into inner self)  in which we fear to enter mostly because we think it's waste of time and energy when world around offers much fun. But the reality is totally opposite and once you will convince yourself to enter you will find the treasure that will make you richest (peace of mind that comes when we encounter with Truth) person on planet. Sharing link of  amazing site Gregg Braden that offers great insight on it.

 I hope i am not bothering you with my grave interest in humans ability to live better life here. 

Thanks for bearing with me friends . I would love to here your thoughts on topic if any .

God Bless You All and Always!

Wednesday, April 3, 2024



 I was reading  Marie 'post today that reminded me few things i would like to share with you dear friends . Marie wrote about how she saw a woman in the store and found her pants looking beautiful on her .She complimented that woman for this though her response wasn't as she expected due to weight she had probably .

This incidents and so many other small things like this i notice in people of  developed societies (via media ,tv etc) make me feel little sad sometimes. As they say there is dark side attached to every bright picture exposure to much information and knowledge takes away our ability to find joy in small things sometimes but i believe this vary from person to person as well.  

Is this true that when our whole focus is pointed on one spot the rest around goes in darkness ? 

I am happy that our society is crawling towards similar stage of development and awareness . I am sure that despite moving in the speed of turtle it will reach someday to that specific point where people speaking of soul's joys will be considered serious threat and will be put in madhouses probably .What makes me happy that i visited this society when things aren't that dry and soulless . It's not that people with much materialistic approach don't exist here .They do of course and at abundance but their approach hasn't lifted to that level til now ,because of their brought up in society who still has some warmth within . More of us still believe in goodness in people ,not because bad things don't happen here but because the naivety we grew with in our nature .I call it brighter side effect of ignorance and i wonder if someone agreed with me on it ?

This naivety  allow us to enjoy a cozy environment full of mutual trust as humans which provides base for mental relaxation as humans. It is personal opinion of my naïve mind .

I am afraid while writing this post because i doubt if i hurt anyone's feeling here which can not be even last thing i will ever want to do friends . It is only that i can't say stuff with mastery actually.

I have weird habit of complimenting others since i was little girl. I hardly suffer because of it. Though at certain times of my life when i did not like myself for being so unique(extremely boring is the right word) that people don't seem to enjoy my company i also hated this habit of mine . I was in my mid thirties when i realized that even i compliment all my sisters in law (wives of hubby's brothers or his sisters ) they never complimented me for anything at all . I think this was a little rise of ego i felt back then or may be it was product of self pity i felt as less attended daughter ,sister and wife . The hidden rage felt pointed towards my sisters in law who were in sour and bitter relationship with me then under the strict command of my mother in law for reason i never knew and i am sure she did not knew too. But i kept this to my heart only . Within few years specially when i started physical exercise i found those negative feeling dim and disappeared slowly. And i felt more like my genuine self again . A woman who loves all without expecting anything back just like her mother . I restarted to compliment them all spontaneously and it made me feel comfortable. If remember i once or twice have mentioned that when i see something good in someone i feel so obliged and i even chase her to deliver my compliment .I did this many times and i feel relief like i returned  the debt .Sounds strange ? yes it's true . This make my faith stronger in Divine force who has designed everyone for certain reason . Mine is to drop flower's on other's door and return silently . Even speaking like this seems to empower me .I used to wish i was visible and had so much ,so i would have visited other's secretly and left something there that would cheer them up . Weirder ?  World has all types of people and it is art by Creator who know only why is so ? 

Sending you all love and best wishes !

Monday, April 1, 2024

Why Do I Fast And Why Fasting Is Necessary ?


     Hey kind hearts ! 

hope beating beautifully and wisely on the rhythm of life ! Now when i have fully recovered from malaria and feeling lot better by the grace of God i am taking fasting slow and steady. The disease has left some weakness and this is why i am finding it good to fast for one day and take a break for next day . Actually i enjoyed fasting like an entertaining adventure in my early teens . I have mentioned that there was  great enthusiasm and a healthy competition among all cousins regarding finishing holy book and fasting .As they would see their elders fasting , kids above ten mostly would try to fast on regular bases throughout the month of Ramadan. As fresh entry to my little magical village world everything was great fun and excitement for me as young girl .I would take part in all these things just because it would make me feel happy and fit in all of them. 

I think i fasted properly till my thirties . My health declined greatly after two later children and fasting went behind the curtain of so many other thick layers of business and excuses for many years. When we moved here in separate house and my stomach ulcer was treated for three years long medicine course i tried to do fasting once in a while but horrible headaches kept me from fulfilling my wish to feel that old sense of joy again. Every year when Ramadan would come i would retry but invain because headache would make me feel Misérables and i would hold my head and lay whole day by doing nothing .Any attempt to do house chore specially cooking would make me feel extremely dizzy and fainted. So i gave up the idea of fasting  and it remained until this ( more then 13 years or less). After the death of both parents in same year of 2011 to avoid trauma i did teaching job for two years which i had to quit because the kids' studies were being neglected. When i stayed at home i realized again that i need relief for my soul that was burdened with fresh grief of the loss of parents. So i started yoga and meditation in 2014 or 15. It has been a decade and i can feel the difference because it is so obvious and strong on the every aspect of my life. But one thing that seemed to help in being able to fast again like my teenage days is reducing the carbs from diet since some months before the arrival of Ramadan . This life is full of magic indeed and surprises us each time when we ponder on something to seek solution. Remember i have mentioned doctor zee who's site has been greatly helpful to make us understand briefly  how food works in our body on cellular level .His explanation is powerful who want to solve their health problems with honesty . Thanks to Creator who lead us to path when we want to correct our lives ! Thanks to doctor zee who is serving people in this good cause !

So my reason for fasting is scientific but as we see that in every command of God there is abundance of "goodness" hidden for humans ! Because he is Creator and his creations are precious for the  Creator ! 

Sharing a   very interesting and informative article  that supports idea of fasting in all religions and why it is important for people .

thank you so much for bearing with me friends ! God bless you all!

health peace and happiness to you and precious loved ones!

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