When i attended weddings recently ,something happened that stirred some sore memories from my life in my native town as teenager.
As i mentioned i grew up in a small village where most of the families were in blood relationship . People of different cast also lived like family members because of sharing same place and culture for long time.
Cousin marriages were so common that most of the girls and boys were considered as future couple during infancy with or without official announcement .Both parties will develop feeling of liking (or disliking in rare cases ) towards each other naturally while growing up. The dominance shown by male cousins over female cousins was accepted by parents of both as norm . And it was equal for all female cousins rather than just one whom they would take as future wife.
My family was exception in this regard because my parents ,mom particularly would not approve such norms nor would follow any rule that was threat for her children ,daughters particularly . My parents had lived in a big city for more than a decade before moving to the village so they had broad mindset though not much liberal . Mother would always kept telling us how to stay aware and alert among boys and decline their authority as males to avoid advantages they take with such privilege. With strong instinct to learn i absorbed my mother's message to be strong and ready to survive in male dominated world. In her opinion this was the only tool that is handy for girls so they can keep their self respect saved and live an honorable life in society where no man is blamed if something happened to girl and only girl is blamed for crimes she never committed but her naivety made her anticipate . she could have avoid the misery if would have behaved smartly on time.
Story began when i started to go to school in age around 6 or 7. It was my first school in neighboring village. The school had two big hall like rooms and huge front yard where children would sit on the ground on long pieces of rugs. There were few trees and a handpumps in the center. It had five grades and two teachers only. All of my other school going cousins were male . They had many reason to dislike me . The biggest reason that i was girl who should stay at home and play with dolls like other girls of the town do. Second i was tough to make feel bad or low which they seemed to desired most. They would behave okay when we would leave the village but on the way they would try to mock me with their words and chat. My first cousin who was son of my aunt(mom's sister) would lead the boys in all their mischiefs. I felt bad and started to keep distance . It was just beginning .They got their third reason to hate more when studies started. I was best in all my early school performances and teacher would like me most . They would sometime provoke boys that they should learn from a girl younger and junior from them as she rise hands first and tell correct answer when they remain silent and keep their head low during tests. I was in first grade and my cousin was in third .
In short ,till next year this led them to conspire against me and took help of local girls of higher grades . Now they were one group led by other boys and girls of that village and my cousins .A girl of forth grade Nazima was the worst. She was tall ,strong and fearless. They would try to humiliate me with their stupid tricks from start to end.I had carefree nature and despite feeling bothered or sad occasionally i never felt any serious disliking towards them .I was happy alone always and would never step into dispute until it comes to physical threat. My cousins realized that so they decided to take it to next level.In the meantime few of the girls who were supposed to create fight with me so can get me punished by the teachers when found me harmless later , became my friends except Nazima . Nazima was the only girl in boys group who would follow me everywhere now to look for chance to bother and make me fight. When she failed , one day she came to me when i was trying to drink water from pitcher pump. She snatched handle from my hands suddenly and said "look if you can take it back " her smile reflected her intentions.
Few minutes were left of breaktime. I asked her to let me drink as teacher won't allow to drink later because recess just has finished . Her ruthless eyes were blinking mockingly and she kept chuckling. Meanwhile my cousins were clapping and whistling at the distance and few girls were standing closer around us. I had to drink after eating spicy omelet so i tried to grab handle hurriedly but she started to push me down and slap on head and face. She later left the handle and attacked with serious determination. I was on ground but still not fallen completely. She was pulling my hair now and trying to make me fall. While struggling to not lay on ground i was unable to see because our hair and arms were restraining the view as one of her hand was pulling my collar now and other hair .I could not realize that my finger entangled in her trouser elastic in struggle to approach her hair. Her elastic broke away suddenly. I did not know what happened next because my head was forced down by the pressure of her hands and half of her upper body was leaned upon me. Though i remember that noise of crowed dimmed at once and converted into serious whispers. When i felt her grip has loosen, i got up shakenly ,removed hair from my eyes . I saw Nazima was sitting surrounded by girls. I thought they were celebrating their success but something seemed wrong with their face expressions . They were looking at me as i was guilty of something instead of Nazima. When breaktime ended and teachers returned to classes .The case was presented before teachers. It's not that everyone did not realize what happened with me was unfair but things turned against me unfortunately when teachers learnt about broken elastic. They were not interested in listening whole story because they thought it had became matter of honor of their student and reputation of the school. Despite my condition was bad because of Nazima's beating teacher decided to punish me only that day. To be honest if i was on their place i would have done same most probably. What happened was out of my intention but teachers had to make it up for the Nazima's family and for the sake of school. The senior teacher got up and took hold of his heavy ,thick and famous spiky stick. He asked me to stand firm and came closer by holding his stick . I remember i could not feel the fear because my eyes were teary and heart was burdened by what had happened to Nazima by me accidently .
Teacher hit my foot on little above heels where both side of a foot has rising of bones .Teacher hit directly on same place repeatedly until i fell on the ground . I wasn't crying loudly but i think my tears were falling on my face. That was last day of my second and last year in that school . That day will always remain among most powerful memories of my childhood. My first cousin and other cousins finally succeeded in their mission because they got rid of me as their self created opponent .
That day i could not walk to home because horrible pain and swelling in feet . It was terrible to crawl on hills with the help of hands. My hands were soaked with thorns and spikes of stones. I made that journey to home in one and a quarter hour or so. My cousins cloud not leave me alone on hills because they had fear of grandparents and my mother's query .They chased me on the distance.
That same teacher who beat me that visited my home in 1988,when i completed my tenth grade . He came to aske for my hand for his younger brother who was govt employ too. I found it amusing how he was saying repeatedly that how nice and obedient student i was back then.
Back to the original story. When we grew up into mid teens my aunt asked for my hand for my cousin . Mom refused at once because she did not like my cousin who was just spoiled boy of rich family and that is it. He had no respect for anyone specially women. He would misbehave with women of his family. His father died early so he had full control over house . He had many bad habits which consumed his property and cattle within a decade. He left school in primary grades and did no job entire his life. He only sold his lands all his life for living and still doing same .He has hardly few pieces left on the name of land. His wife and kids suffered so much because he was their head. They do laborious jobs because he does not support them financially .
My cousin could not handle the refusal and made many attempts to harras me in which he failed only because i was mentally prepared that he can do something like this. After failures he tried to conspire against me by aligning with his friends. He made false story about my involvement in one of his friend and made others alibi of meeting that never took place because i never saw that boy .
The whole drama was presented before my parents ,grandma and uncles .But nothing he could prove because my elders knew me far better than him and this was best gift from my God!
Later i was informed that my aunt and my cousin (one who is wife of my brother now) were part of the conspiracy too.
I don't want to go into sad details what happened to all those who took part in this shameful thing because it feels painful as after all they were my own people my blood. God forgive them!
I wanted to share this but was gathering strength .
Thanks for bearing with me dear friends!
blessings to all of you!
