Feeling Better and a question

       

     Hey  Precious   Fellows !



   Hope      and   pray    that    all    of    you    are    having    beautiful    times   in   your   lovely    lives    and    each    day    grabbing    more     wisdom    and    grace    from   it    as    it   is    said   by    someone    WISE    that    "GROWTH"   is   very    important   in   everyday    life.  If     we   grow    only   by   material    or   physical    way   and   not    by    spiritual    and   mental    way   it   means   that    we   are   not   ALIVE   in   actual  meaning   of    life    because   LIFE   means    growing    everyday    for    better    tomorrow    and   with    spiritual    growth    we    cannot    provide   a   healthy    and    positive   environment    to    our    body.


I    am    learning   from    my   disease   and   pain   that   i    should    listen    to   my    body  .I    should   not    follow    all    my    stupid   desires   for    doing   more   than   i   am    capable.
I    should   avoid   taking  my    most    favorite   friendly   hot    drinks   [tea  ,coffee] most   often.
May   be   lot  more  i    learning   without   realizing   that  i   am   learning   trust  me.

I    am    feeling    better   with   each    passing   day. Pain    which   held   my   chest   and   ribs   like   a   strong    cage   is   seems    to   melting    now   smoothly. Its   not    vomiting   anymore   so   i   am   regaining   little    energy   from   my   little    food   now. Fruits    are   great    help    in   this   time. Watermelon   is   exceptional  on   this   whole    earth  ,what   would   i  do   without  it .

Weather   is   in   worse   moods   now   a  days.  50   plus   often.  Here   the   fasting   month   of   Ramadan   has   started   so   city    govt   is   trying   hard    to   supply   light   without   any    Long   break. Hubby  is   taking   lots   of   care  of  me ,kids   and   home   but   i   am   not   happy   with   this  .I   try   to   help   him    but   he   annoys   and   says   you   will   ruin   all   my   efforts    if   hurt   yourself   by   doing   anything   before   Right Time    and   i  am   waiting   for   it   restlessly .



Dear    friends    one     thing    which   is   giving   me   true    joy   and   strength   is   YOUR   SUPPORT   AND   LOVE   which   you   show   through   your   kind    words   and   comments.
When   i   read    these    precious   words   from    you    i   feel    energy    running    in    my   veins   believe   me.  You    guys    are   angles   who   empowered    me  spiritually   with   their   magical   support!    And   i   don't   have   appropriate   word   to   express   my   feelings   for   you   except   


                        THANK   YOU!!!

                                                    For   you   precious   fellows!


Before   signing   off   i   want   to   ask   you   a   question   if   you   will   answer   i   will   appreciate it!  

" Do    You   Believe   that   if   we   do   good    will   get   good   always" ???

Immediate Surgery

       Hello   Precious   Friends!



  Hope    and   pray   that    all    of   you   are   feeling    Fine   and   enjoying   your   life   with   strong   sense   of   gratitude   and   deep    sense   of   joy   that   comes   from   the   realization   of   all   blessings   we   have  by   the   grace   of   God .


Right   now    though   i   am   not   in   the   position    of   "enjoying"   yet   grateful    for    all   i   am   blessed   with   and    for   all   miracles  like    happenings    in    my   life   throughout   who's   credit   goes   to   obviously   the   only   the   one   our   Creator !


Two    days   back    hubby    took   me  to   the   doctor   because   he   found   my   condition   unsatisfying   and   how    in   time   that   visit  proved  .

Doctor   took    some   tests    and    decided    for   immediate    surgery .  It   was   sudden   and   i   felt   nervous   but   surgery   was   obvious   according   to   new   tests.

So   day  before    yesterday       after    two    hours    surgery   i    was   out   of   operation   theater. But   i   was   out   of   my   senses  until   next   morning    almost       4am . 

We  spent  one   night   and   tow   days   in   hospital .  Both   my   sons   were   also   with   us . Room   was   big   enough   to   put   extra   mattress   so   night   went   okay   for   hubby   and   kids.  They   were   allowed   to   stay   because   we   were   from   another   city . 

Last   night   we   got   back   to   home   and   i   must   say   there   is   no   place   like   home   in   whole    world.  My    whole   chest   and   specially    right   side  below   ribs   are   stuck   in   terrible   pain   which   increase    when   i   eat   something   forcefully . Medicines   are   help   though .There  are   three   holes  on   right   side   of   my   tummy .


                                                                                         

                                                            

                                         Hubby  took  this  pick  of  melted  Gall bladder stone, i  was  fortunate that it  came out before blasting.God is  great!                                               

I   was   told   that   i   will   feel   better    after     one   week   which     sounds   hard    to   believe   right   now. I   can   take   bath   after   two   days.  I   will   have   take   little   walks   along    with   one   week   bed   rest .Hubby    and   kids    are   on   summer    vacations   which    started     from   today.

Whole   responsibility   is   on   hubby   who   is   taking   it   with    his   own   will   otherwise   i   asked   him    to   keep   made   for   atleast   two   weeks  but    he   said   these   light    duties   are   good   past time    for    him.

I    will    try    to   keep   in   touch   dear    friends .
Take    great    care    of    yourselves.Stay   calm ,relaxed   and   positive   to   be    genuinely  Happy!

God    Bless    You   All!!! 

Maa [mother] Hamida Heavenly character A happy Mother Day post

    

Hello  Dear   Friends!


Hope  and  pray    that   all  of  you  are   having   wonderful  time  out   there   with   you   beautiful   hearts   and   enlightened   souls.

Today   i   am   sharing   with   you   about   someone   very   special   from   my   teenage   memories .

I   feel   myself   so   lucky   to   have    many   pure   and   simple   people  around  me   when   i  was  child  and   grew   among   those   beautiful   souls  who  left   unforgettable    effect  on  my   heart   forever.

                                                                      image[google]
Maa  Hamido  was   one  of   them.   Her  name  was  Muhammad bibi   but  due   to   her   motherly   attitude   towards   everybody   she  was  called  Maa hamido  .  Maa  means  mother   and  Hamido  was   torn  part  of  her  name .Her   selfless   love   and   care  for   people   of  the  village  made  the   word  Maa [mother]   permanent   part   of   her   name .

I   did   not   notice   her   when   i   was   child  much   but   in   my   teenage  my   consciousness    identified   her   as   a   lovingly   old   lady [70 plus]  whom   i   saw   often   around   while     playing  with   my   girlfriends  .We  girls    when   play  or   swing   in   the   garden   among   fields   Maa  hamido   often   asked   us   " are   you   feeling   thirsty   girls , should   i   bring   you   some   water ?  and   if   we   say   yes   she   would   brought   water   for  us.

During   the   play   if   some  one   fell  or  got   thorn   in  foot   Maa  hamido   would   come  hurriedly  and   gave   child  hug   ,pull  thorn out   and   clean   the  wound   with   her   scarf  [doptta]  .I   remember  so   well   when    once    a   scorpion   bit   on   my   foot  thumb   i   was   terrified  with   pain  .It   felt   as   there   are   huge   flames   of   fire   floating   inside   my  whole   leg .   I   was    14  then .

Nobody   including   my   mom  did   not  know   that   what   cure   will   give   the  relief . Doctor  was  available  in  town  one  hour  away  then.  Maa  hamido  who   was   our   neighbor   then   ran   to   our   house   and   start   pressing   my   leg   with   one   hand  and   with   other   hand   she   was   waving   hand  fan  to   make  me   feel   comfortable[that   day  there  was  windstorm  which   blew   away  the   wire   from  electric  poles].

That   whole   night   she   sat   with   me  and   asked   my   mother   to   sleep .Whole   night   she   waved   hand  fan [ huge  feather  shaped, made up  of  dry  leaves of date tree] and  repeatedly   tried  to   give   me   strength  with   her   loving  words. She   kept  reciting   verses   from   Holy  Book   as   she   believed   only   this   was  the  cure .

I  cannot   forget  that   night  till  my   last  breath when   circumstances   suddenly   enlarged   and   cleared   her   personality  before   my   eyes.  I   felt   better  till  next   day   and  after   three   days  pain  was   disappeared  completely  and   i   start   going  school.  But  now   Maa hamido   was  very   special   for   me  .i   intentionally    observed   her   routine .

She  was   widow   since   her   early   youth .  She    lived   with   her   only   son  who   was   farmer  and   had   a   wife   and   a   daughter.   She    was   near   her   80s   yet   her   face   had  a   strange   glow  that   attracted  eyes  irresistibly .  Glow  of   her   child   like   innocent   face   was  powerful.
One   can   not  resist   the  charm  she   had  in  her   simple   personality .Her   wrinkled    face  always   had   everlasting  smile  sometime   deep   sometime   light  but  always  there  to   cheer  up  who  looked  at   her .Her   eye   were  yellowish   and  had   shine   of   innocence .

I   saw   her   for   years   to   serve   the   people   selflessly .In   winters   she   wandered  in  garden  gathered  woods   to   heat  up  the  water   of   tank   which  was  placed  in  the  front  yard  of  village   mosque  so  men  who  came  to  offer  prayer  can  wash   themselves  with  warm   water.
All   such   duties   she   did  were  her   own   choice  no   body   asked   her   to   do .Visiting   sick taking   their   care  .Baby  sitting   for   young   mothers   who  had  lot   other  to  do.

I   cannot   tell   you   how   her   loving   and   kind   personality   was   great   support   for   everyone  in   the   village .When   our   own   house   was   built   and   we  moved  from  her   neighbor  i   cried  while  hugging  her  tight .

After   some   years   one  day   i   returned  from   school  and   heard  that   Maa  hamido  has  died  .I   ran   to   her   house  down  in  village   and  sat   near  her   charpai[local bed]  i  touched   her   face  with   my   right   hand   it   was  cold . She   was   the   only   person  i  touched  after   death  .Tears   were   slipping  from   my   eyes   constantly   without  any  voice  though   my   heart   was   calling   for   her.

She  was  special ,i  loved  her , i  still   fee

[ image google]

l    think  she   affected   my   life  in  many   positive   ways . I  want   to  be  Maa hamido .May  her  soul  rest   in  peace and  may  my   heart  beat   like her's .amen.

Take  great   care   dear  friends ,stay  strong,happy  and  positive.love  yourself so  you can love  all around  you!
God  Bless  you  All!
                                                             

The Store Room ( piece of my prose )

 





 She     was  almost  laying   on  her   chair . Though   her  body  was   still  but   it   seemed   windy   inside  her  head .She   just   finished   her  chores  after   sending   her   husband  to   office   and   kids   to   school.  She   felt   tired   and   empty . Coffee   mug   stuck   in   her   slightly   shaking   fingers   was   waiting   since  quite   long  for   her   next   sip  .Her   hand   with   mug   was  laying   on   the   table   and   it   seemed   that   she   forgot  it   after   leaving   it   there .

Near   her    hand   a   white   page   was   placed  .Though    she   put   pencil   on   the   paper   but   it   was   still  trying   to   fly   away   with   the   pull   of   fan's  waving   air.  Her   head  was   laying   against   back   of   chair   and  eyes   were   stuck   on   some   unwatchable   point   in   the   space   before   her   eyes.   That    unwatchable   point   seemed   powerful   enough   to   grab   much   of   her   inside   him   for   very    long.

Suddenly    a   sharp     voice   of   crow    pierced    the   heart   of   silence   and   pulled   her    back  to   the   room   in   which   her   body  was   struggling    for   rest . She   straightened   and  took  a   sip   of   coffee   which   got   cold  and   felt   more   bitter   than   usual.  Her   eyes   roamed   around  slowly  and  she   realized that, 

The   room   that   felt   demanding   while   ago   was   calm   and  happy   now  . Everything   was   clean   and  placed   properly.  She   knew   that   it   was  her   who   spoiled    her   home   with   her   extra   care  .Now   when   she   was   not   well   things   around   her   did   not    care   for   this   .They    shout   for   care   and   attention   until   she   push   herself   to   pamper  them,  once   all   is   done   rooms   and   things    felt   peaceful  .


She    put   the  mug   back   on   table   and   pulled   the   white   page   closer .  It    was   her    routine   that   everyday   before    starting    the   next   session    of   chores    she   draw    something    on   this   page   . These   sketches    were    display    of   her   very    recent    inner    feelings.  Everyday   she    stick   this   sketch   on    the   fridge   and   let   it   hang   there   until   her   husband    and  children     get   back   .She     took   sketch   from   fridge  before   them   and   kept   it   her   file   where   she   used  to   keep   all   her    sketches  together  since   years.


After    giving   a   long   stare    she    felt   blank   and   stuck.  She    never   made   anything   unwillingly   may   be   she   has   less   command   on   her   brain    or   she   was   more   honest   to   her   expression.   She   gave   up   the   idea   of   drawing    sketch    and   pulled   herself    from   her   chair   which   took   quite   strength    of   her.  She    wanted   to   pick   up   the   cup  and   put   it   in   the   sink   but   her   hand   did   not   follow   her   decision .   Before    she   could   realize   her    next    move   her    feet    moved   towards    the   basement .


She    inevitably   stepped   over   the   stairs   which   led   her   to   the   store   room  .She    opened    the    door   and    darkness   wellcomed   her   quietly .  While   stepping   in   she   could   not   deny   the   feeling   of   slight   fear  and   emptiness   .She    somehow   was    able   to   relate  with    this   weird    silence  ,dark   and   randomness   .She   felt    she   is   entering    in   her   own self.

She    switched   the   light   on   which    highlighted   the   barrenness   of   store   room   more  .
Though     store    room   was    almost    filled   with   so   many   old   and   broken   stuff   still   felt   hollow   and   complaining  as    saying   "  oh   how   do   you   remember  me   finally   ?" .  She   had   no   answer     but    her   positive   spirit     felt   pushed   by   it    to   do   something    which   may   be   can   call   creativity   by   her   at   least.  She    opened   the   ventilator  and  fresh   air   let   the   room   breathe  after   long .She   felt   peace    and   serenity   by   doing   so.She   heard   the   unsaid  thanks  by   store   room !


She    decided   to   give   her   store   room   new   life .  She    realized     an   amazing    amazing   wave   of   energy    rising   within     her.   She    assembled    lots   of   stuff   which   was   spoiled   by   insects    and   useless   now.  She    put    all   the   trash   in   huge   plastic    bag   and     threw   it   in   the   bin   near    house. She    put   remaining   stuff  a   side  to   wash   the   floor . While   doing   this   her   sympathy  for   room    was    on   peak.  She   sprayed   to   get   rid   of  stinky    feeling   that  developed   due   to   being   locked  for   long.

 She   brought    cleaning    tools   ,pulled   away   all   spider  nets ,washed    the   some   of   washable   stuff  and   cleaned  other   with   detergent   cloth. Within    she   managed   to   rearrange   the  store   room .Now    the   stuff   was   kept   beside   the   side   walls   instead   of   back   wall   which   could   be   seen   first   when   one   entered.  Though    she   was   tired   alot   but   next   thought   gave   her   a   deep   beautiful   smile.

Next   day   on   the    same   time   she   took   her    painting    brush   and   paint   colors  and   went  to   the  storeroom   . She    put   an   extra    white   light   bulb   for   more   light  in   the   room .
She   painted   for   more   than   two   hours   without    break  .Her   stamina   was    revolutionary   and   decisive .  Her    eyes   were    shining   with    the    inner   light   of   faith   and    hope.  And   when    she    finished     storeroom   was   not   the   same   anymore.

At   the    back   wall   a   huge    sunflower    was   smiling   with   all   it's   beauty    and   brightness! Around   this   golden   stunning   flower   the   colorful   butterfly   was  flying  along   with   few   white   feathered   birds. Light   blue    back   ground   was   giving   the   idea   of   vest   sky  which   had   few   little   clouds   to   pour!

After   that   day   she   visited   storeroom  often  .Her   visits   were   spiritual.   With    her   endless   vast   love   and   care   she   was   able   to   connect    the   storeroom   with   all    other   alive   parts   of   the   house as   it   was   not   ignored   and   barren   anymore.


Hello   precious   friends!

today   when   i   sat   on   keyboard  i  was  completely   blank ,but  now  ia  am   leaving  with   little  piece  of   writing  which  just  stepped  in  my mind.
Dear   fellows   thank   you  for   your  kind  words,love  and  concern,i  am  honored  and  grateful .

your   sharing  through  comments  is  life  giving believe me !!!

Please  take   great   care ,stay  happy  ,positive  and  strong. My  heart  prays  for  your   joy and comfort! God   Bless  You   All!

Weather update with health talk

      
Hello  Precious   Friends!


Hope   and   pray   that  all  of   you   are  saying   warm   well   come   to  new   seasons  that   have   stepped    into   your   part   of   land,  Happy    spring   to   those   who   found     blooms    around   them    finally !

Happy   winters    to   those  who   are   going   to   enjoy  beautiful   grey   season   ,rains ,snow   and  lots  of  interesting  indoor   activities  who  were  pending  since  long.

Here  like   always   in   month   of   May   temperature  suddenly  reached   near   50 [48c]  and   like   always    short   fall   of  electricity   occurred   immediately  .

Life   gets   abruptly   hard   in   these  months [May   to  September].    I   terribly   miss   my  native   village's   climate  where  rains  fall   once  or  twice  in  a  week  and  due   to  be  upper   hilly   part   air   never  stops  and   hardly  gets    warm .  

                                                  Clouds  gathered  before  evening

My    prayers    for   rains   are   hardly   answered   but   two   days  back   suddenly   after   many  long    muggy   days    sky   covered   with   dark   roaring   clouds  ,strong   wind   waved  and  it   rained   heavily  for  few   hours .

Surroundings    were   fresh   and   amused . My   little   garden   more   pretty   after   taking   bath    under   the   shower  of   rain.  

Finally   my   heart   found   joy   and   my   soul   felt   peace  .Humans ,birds   and  trees  all   got   relief .   I   am   so   grateful   to   dear   God   who   pour   his   blessing   to   cheer   his   men.

        Got  thicker  quickly ,and  start  raining  after  darkness  of  night  fall .We   all   stood  under  the  pouring  and  enjoyed  the  freshness for almost two hours!!!


Yesterday    we   visited   the    doctor    who    advised   us   to   postpone   my    surgery    until   the   weather  gets   bearable   as   in   such   hot    and   muggy   weather    healing   from   the   surgery   can    take    longer    time .  He    said    that      though   surgery    causes   tiny   wounds   but   if   the   weather   conditions   are   as   extreme     it   can   get     worse   so   we   decided   to   wait   until   October .   Doctor   told   that   we   don't  have    to    worry   about    delay    as   my   disease   can   be   hold   down   by   medicines     and    precautions  . I   kept   smiling  while   saying   "okay "

But    what     if     this   stupid   bladder   did  not   wait   until   October   and    blasted    before ???

Then   it   will   be   my   destiny ,i   believe   that    death   has   a   certain   time   and   when   it   comes   no    excuse   work  .

I    am   fine  and   relaxed  ,i     have   lived   more   than   forty   five   years   in   this   beautiful    world  .  Had   loving   parents  , grandparents  ,teachers   friends    which   made   me   glorious   memories   of   past  . 


Got   married   to   a   man   whom   i   hardly   knew   but    God   turn  him   as  a   caring   friend   for   me.  We    shared   25   years   of   deep   affection   and   understanding.

God   blessed   me   with   three   lovely   boys   who   mean  life  to  me . I   am   fully  deeply  content   what    i   have   and   often    think   with    gratitude   that   God   blessed   me   with  more   than   i   deserve .

So  if  one   day   suddenly   i   will   have   to   say    goodbye   to  my  family   and   this   world   it   will   be   with   peace   and   serenity,   joy  and  gratefulness. without  any   regret  or   sorrow : )   

                       i  find  my  soul  swinging here if i transfer  [kidding !] [ image ,google]


It   is   airy   today .Rain  's  pleasant   effect   is   still   in   environment.  I   hope   Clouds   take   rounds   of   to  my   city   and   give   us   break   through  hot   long   summers.

That's  all   for   today  dear   friends!

Thank   you   again   for   your   concerns  and  prays ,i  am  so  blessed  to  have  all  of  you  as  friends!  God   Bless  You  All!

Please  take  good  care  of   yourselves !

Pakistani Culture Glimpse !

    Hey  Friends !

Hope   and   pray    that   all   around   you   and  inside   you  is   going   Beautiful!

Beauty  has  many  faces  one  of   it  is  true  Happiness   if   you   are   happy   inside   everything  around  you  looks   flattered   and   beautiful  .And   if   there  is   not   around   but   only   inside   you,    you   try    to   drag  it   out   of   you   and   sprinkle   in   your   environments    because   it   is  human   nature   that   he   wants   to    create   a   world   that   can   he   easily   relate   with.

You   can   give    away   only   you  have   in   your   hands   so   be   happy   always!

Today   i   will   share   some   glimpse   of   our   provincial   culture    which   is   still    breathing   in   insidious    rural    areas   .

Though   in    cities   specially   in   big    cities   people    have    become    quite    similar   in   their   advancements   which   includes    all   sort   of   lifestyle  ,dressing,   way   of    thinking   and   dealing    with    problems.  Yet   culture   is   base   of   any   nation .  I    consider   it   like   a   root    from   a   nation   grows   .By    the   time    traditions    and   customs    convert   into   new    colors   of    thoughts   though   but   still   it    gives   an   identity   and   strength   to   a   heart   that   he   had  his   roots   somewhere.


Below   i   am   presenting    few   photos   [google help]   which   will    give   you   idea   of   the   old   cultural    lifestyle   of   province   where   i   spent   my   childhood   and   some   youth  .

   This   is   the   view   of   a   remote   village   of   Chitraal  city  .[I could not  find   the good  photo  of  city though]  Chitraal  is  located  in  the   lap   of  highest   mountain  of   Pakistan  ,it's  height  is  25,289 ft from  sea level. Here  people  live  still  by  their  old   culture .Farming and  tourism   are  the  main  source  to  earn  living.

                                  Swat   city  which  is  located  near  Chitraal 

                                Men's   traditional   dance  on  special  occasions,  though   my   village  is  in  the  same  province  but   quite   in   lower  hilly  land ,but   i   used  to  see  men   dancing  in  same   way  on   weddings when  i  was  little . sensational   and  rhythmic   performance   of  group   of  men  were   seen   by   women   of  village  [not  allowed to  the men portion so  peeking  from  roofs  hidenly  ] fondly .

                                                   Traditional   footwear  for    men

   Traditional   meals in  which  you  can  see  the  corn  bread on left,mustered butter dish the green one,wheat bread  and  tea  without milk .Meat roasted .

                                                         Ladies   footwear.

                                                    Traditional   dress  for  ladies .

                                                      [Some  of  ]     handy crafts  

        Babies   are  wrapped  while  they   sleep  so  they  feel  safe  even if they  wake up , this  tradition   is  common  among   all  four  provinces mostly countryside  areas 

                                      Much  rich  in   colors  when  it  comes  to   decoration 

                                                                         Traditional   Jewelry .

That  was  a  little  part  of  cultural  glimpse  from  northern  areas  of  my  province  dear   fellows ,hope  you   liked   it .This  was  only  from  one  province ,next  time  i   will    try  to   share   the   glimpse  from  another   province of  my  homeland.

Before  saying   goodbye  i  want   to  THANK  ALL    OF    YOU  !  who   showed  concern   for  my  health   and  share  their  experience  with  me ,i  am  so   overwhelmed  by   your  love   and  prayers  fro  me ,they   mean  LOT TO  ME.Thank  you  again  !!!

See   you   soon  ,please  stay  happy ,positive  and  strong  ,Take   great  care ,God   Bless    You   All!!! 

 



  

Gallbladder Stone My New Adventure !

  Hello   Dear   Friends!



Hope   and  pray   that   all   of   you   are   doing   great    and    not    ignoring   your   any   kind   of    even   smallest     disturbance   in    your    physical   or   mental    health.  I   am   saying   this   from   my   personal   experience  because   i  am     quite   expert   in   ignoring   my   poor   health   conditions   just   because  of   my   larger   than   life   positivity   .Each    time   i   get   call   from   inside   i   say   it   could   be   only   an   affect   of   tiredness   or  blah   blah  blah.

Almost    seven   years   back   i   was   diagnosed    stomach   ulcer   when  inevitably    i   went   to   the   doctor.  [i  hate  going to  them  don't  know  why ]  Ultrasound    of   my   stomach   revealed   that   there   was   internal   bleeding   since   more   then  14   years   which   caused   me   terrible   pains  which   i  never   took   serious  and   relied  on  self   medicine   which  give  timely   relief  and   after   sometime   misery   started   again .
  Stomach   treatment   took  almost   three   years   course   of   medicine  some  of  which  i   still  take   regularly   because  i  have  to  stop   virus   development   again  as   it   still   exist   there  .Doctor   say  i   will   have   take  these   medicines   until  i  am  alive .


Now   back   to   current   story   ,Since   long   i   was   feeling    allergy  ,and  swelling    and   burden  upon  my  eyes  and  face  but  as  usual   [i  did not earn  the  lesson]  i  avoided  it . Last   week  condition    turned   worse  when   after  meal   i   start   shivering  and  cold   sweating   .I  felt  fainted  and  unable  to  get  up   and   do  anything   inspite  of  trying hard .

Hubby  took   me   to   the   doctor   who   asked  for   some   tests.  Last   night   tests   were   shown   to   the   doctor   who   told   that   i   got   Gallstone   and   need   operation   to  remove   the   Gall Bladder. He   said   all   will  be   fine  once  the   operation   is   done .

It   reminded  my   late  mother   who   almost   in  same   age  of  which  i am  now  went  under  surgery   for   this   certain   disease .While   her   treatment   i   was    with   her   in   hospital    and   cried   badly   when   doctors   told  me   that  i  am   an   anemic  and   not   able   to   give  blood   to   my   mom.  Mom   after   operation   lived   for   more   than   20    years   happily .  I   still   remember   when    after    operation   doctor   showed   us   her   Gallbladder   and  stones  in  a  small  water  bag ,they   said   if  treatment  was  little  late  the  bladder  could  have  explode  into   her  body  and  she  could  have   died   immediately .But   God   blessed   her   with  the   time  in  which  she   saw   the  many   happy  events  of  her  kids  lives .

I  was   completely   unaware  of  DEATH  until  i   saw  our  house  owner  [ when  we  lived  in  city and  i  was  four  i think then]  died  and  i  asked  mother  why  uncle  bhatti  {his name]  is  not  moving  and  why  all  are  crying  and  mom  told  that  he  is  dead .Later  she  explained  that  when  people  get  old  they  die  and  we  bury  them  ,they  never  come back  ,i  still   realized   the   cold  wave     fear   moving   inside me .Otherwise   i   thought  when   people  get   old   they   again   start  from  their  childhood how  i  did not know  i  just   thought  that  life  goes  on  this  way.

I  saw  deaths  of  my  many  loved   ones  back  in  some   years  and   departure  of    parents  was   most    painful .  though   .Yet   i   never   felt   scared   of   death  i   know   it   sounds  lie    or   funny   but   what   to   do   when   my   little    stupid    extra    optimistic   brain   fantasizes   the   other   world   where  [may be]  one   goes   after   signing   off   in   this   world. Somewhere    inside   me   this    belief    is    very   strong   that   one   who    tries   his   best    to   stick   with   right   and   never   hurts   anyone    has    no    fear    for   death.

Operation   is   expected   in    next   month   and   i   hope   no   doctor   will   forget    his   any   of   his     tools    inside   me   while   doing   this   as   i   hear   such    crap   sometime   in   news,  and   right  now   this    is    my   only   fear  :)

Dear    Fellows   please   take   great    care   in   each   single   way   and   stay   calm,happy  and   focused   with   lots   of   love   for  LIFE!  God    Bless   You   All!