Stuck Between The Battle But With A Way Out

I find myself quite lucky to be optimistic . I don't know whether i inherited this quality from parents my mother specially who was despite of all her complains about suffering of life gave her was an optimistic person .I can say this because i hardly saw her wearing the stress shawl and avoiding family or duties as house wife and responsible and caring mother. It is right that she was swept away by the wave of  nostalgia  once in a while .The strongest hits of that wave were few among which most powerful was lamenting over her died son at very early age (13 or twelve).

But it would take her an hour or two to get hold of herself back and she was again an amazingly strong and cheerful person who then seemed only thing in whole world so precious and loveable.

When i try to figure out what makes me as hopeful and faithful i realize it is the pattern i am able to see in things . The pattern that attracted me always so powerfully . The pattern that my became more obvious and and eloquent with time . I see unification and connection in everything existing here  in this universe. Today it makes me happy that science has the same opinion  that everything seems to make it's journey in circle and is connected . 

I feel that unseen form of energy is the "real thing " actually and  matter is it's just a "fabric" 

I know so many what ,why and how rise after we reach to one conclusion .But don't you too feel that no matter what is the form or wherever the fabric of matter is visible ,energy hidden behind this fabric has same behavior .Dark or bright ,strong or gentle ,good or bad ,hard or soft kind or cruel so on..

The energy wrapped in any form of matter seems to basically of two types. The whole game of life and universe is based on the battle between both energies . 

Scientist have proven facts that everything existing in the universe from single particle to larger bodies have counter parts  and both parts are destined to repel each other . This repellent behavior is the whole story in which scenario of life and universe has been written.

Why then it is not possible that the Energy we humans are made up of is also of two kinds ,"positive energy " and "negative energy"

The concept of angle sitting on our both shoulders is well comprehend with this theory i believe.

So from the very beginning when first human being came to existing he contained  was actually a bundle of both energies positive one on one hand was to make him rise and shine with wisdom and strength and Negative on the other hand was to break him down to destroy him to whither him away into pieces .

But why ,God could have make this easy for his man if wanted to but seems like he does not want to put us at ease at all . He probably want us to "locate and realize the reality of battle we are put in as humans" and then want us to "be careful"  with this battle between both types of energy within us.

What is our role in this fight . Are we allow to play randomly and stronger let the side win naturally ?

And the consequences of each victory will shape our destiny automatically ???

No we are forgetting one most important thing here ,the crown put on our head before we were sent there was "free will" 

Free will that separate us from other species .

I believe that the whole game is about this " freedom of choice" in reality .

Between the battle of  both energies within us How we use this "free will" and what choice we make is the

 "Main Act of the Show"

The God who seems to love his creations so much as he has provided all we need here in next thousands years  .

Should we expect from that God that he is unkind and cruel to his men ?

It Is hard to believe for me because pattern in things tells that how everything is the reason the existence of the other which explains that love and support is basic theme of life.

We loose his kindness when we make wrong choices only .Even If you don't believe in God you might believe in law of attraction or laws of Nature which are ultimate and irreversible . 

These laws that has shaped universe and life here  prove that we reap the fruits of our choices most of the time .

So being careful while making choice is crucial always. This carefulness is the obedience of laws that rule the world and breaking divine laws can never be beneficial .

 

The Stuff Of My Heart With Art Sent By Younger Son

 It's a beautiful day of the March . Views bathing in sunshine look tranquil and profound .Plants of my little garden look happy to embrace breeze .No doubt spring has it's own magic which captivates our sense thoroughly:) Temperature is swinging around 30 c or below to it which is mild for people living in area which temperature rise to 50c from May . So each day with bearable environment is gift by the grace of God! 

It is 4pm hardly two and half hour to sunset .As you might know that the month of Ramadan has started few days ago .so my younger son is fasting fondly . I have to wake up for him at 4am to make him breakfast so he can keep fasting during the day. I shared in my previous post that i have started to take yogurt since two weeks almost and it has worked miraculously for me so i am able to fast after six years :) Yes many years ago  i used to fast every year because of habit my formed by my mom .But many years ago i had to quit fasting first because of severe stomach troubles and later terrible headache that was unbearable during fasting time specially after two pm . I could not understand what was causing such pain which would keep me down and seize my mobility absolutely. That would make system of household chaotic .

But This year taking yogurt ,such a simple thing solved such big issue of my life thankfully. First fasting day was Thursday my son had fast but the fear of worst headache kept me away from even having thought of it. But at Friday i encouraged myself while thinking that as because yogurt has made me feel lot better ,it might help to fast pain freely . And guess what despite of fasting i remained fine and active from dawn to dusk by the grace of Lord! 

I fast because i like having stomach empty for somedays and yes it makes me feel more close to my Creator because of mental state it provides throughout the day. Doctor and all most all religious doctrine recommends fasting because of benefits it brings along. Probably just like our brain clears trash during sleep ,putting stomach on sleep for a while cleans the toxic material from within it.

Sharing a painting made and shared by my younger son from Karachi. His first painting with acrylic paint gifted by his best friends on his birthday. He has good art skills as i shared some of his arts in my far previous post few years ago .  

   Favorite characters from one of his anime show ,i found it quite nice actually specially shading and expressions (though i know nothing about paining lol)

                                  another he had shared few weeks ago 

              now some smiles of nature from my little garden 

      sight of my neem tree fills me with joy and gratitude always 

after three months construction work when we saw garden suffering under various burdens it was hard to imagine that it will get his life back within few "caring" months . Thanks to God and thanks to sweet hubby who loves gardening so much and enjoys having beauty of Nature close by ! 

Thanks for bearing with me dear people !

see you soon .

keep being kind to yourself and all around you!

blessings!

 

Photos From Anime Show ,Gettogether and few More Glimpse Of Bali

 Hey kind people!

have been busy with guests from in laws lately ,so sorry if i am bit late for reading your posts or comment . Hope all is great at your part of land ,Our is receiving constant earthquake shock everyday almost. With no certainty of future or thought of past lets live this moment with absolute gratitude and faith that keep us hopeful no matter what.

Sharing some photos shared by my both precious babies ,Few from Bali trip that i found worth sharing and some from younger son Karachi .His university arranged an exciting event for youth .Main theme was dedicated to anime .Participants wore costumes of famous anime characters. My younger and youngest both grew up watching different anime shows and recommended us to watch some particular  shows too. We watched and specially me found them really beautiful or some very beautiful shows i ever saw. Hope you will enjoy the glimpse friends 

                                                                  my son 's classmates 

i could recognize only Ang 

 on my request eldest son shared  this photo ,he arranged a little gettogether at his apartment on Saturday night for playing board games 

i still feel good about his scuba diving :)

                                              i liked the Bali beaches and water falls 

                                                                           what a view 

                                                                             Captivating !

                                                                            Mesmerizing 

                                                        water is has power hard to resist 

   Nature has so much to say to offer to appeal to reveal to discover ,all this all need is one gaze of love  and contemplation 

 

Health Peace and Happiness to you and to all you love!

A Timeless Desire

 Do you ever feel that our hidden desires become so obvious as we age. I feel quite helpless front of my desire of learning sometimes. Helplessness is not an enjoyable state for all of us .

When i see back in time i realize that desire for learning kept me anxious since i was child. As little girl from village consist of 33 houses hardly it was challenging to satisfy the urge for learning. 

After befriending with hills and trees laying before my eyes i would spend rest of my time in doing homework ,helping mom in house and reading digests , or books borrowed from school library and scrolling magazines brought by my father.

While helping mom when reading was not possible i would on the radio and listen literary programs hosted by prominent intellectual personalities of 80s. 

Despite of being annoyed for my such endless desperation my mother would walk some miles to town near by to post letters i would write to radio programs . I now, wonder how a mother living in small village like that can be as understanding and broadminded ,so she would take pain to post letters of her daughters to strangers without raising any question?

My eyes get teary when i think of the depth of my mom had as person . Such deep love and strong faith in child is rarely seen. 

As a person what matters for me in relationship is having blind 

" faith" in each other. And this is because my mom made me habitual of it by having it in me. For me this "faith" is love actually. 

I think i was in my early or mid teens when mom bought a 14 inch black and white tv . Unlike now tv had only channel that would start from 3pm to 12am. At the beginning international supports were shown for one hour . At 4pm a program for Quran learning would be telecast for half hour and then some English show for children would come . Only one drama would telecast at 8pm after that news followed by political show . I would wait for 11pm when an old Hollywood would come. I don't have words to tell how desperately i would wait for the movie because it was the only thing that would match my mental level of "entertainment " 

I wish i would have written down the names of those movies and shared it with you so i can hear how much you love them . But i can tell that they were some best telecast on our national television subject wise and presentation. 

I would call radio my second mom back then . But tv and books even digest added much into my knowledge . And this is because i was keen learner . 

I still have a copy on which i would write random stuff copied  from various sources including pieces of paper i would get with some food i buy such as fritters etc .

Now when i am in my early fifties i still feel desperate to learn something all the time . 

Feels like something is "Missing" from the map of life and this anxiousness is pointing out towards it . What it can be " 

Can't say right now.

I tried to chase my instinct for learning blindly ,I ma good at "self control" thankfully but this innocent desire does not seems to come in list of restriction for me so i follow it everywhere .

I thought after  taking  my my masters degree in English i would feel satisfied but feels like when i crossed one river i saw many others ahead ...

For now i am trying to fill this space with book reading ,watching thrillers and mysteries on Netflix and  wondering how it will end?

Or there is no end no beginning just circling round and round ? 

If so ,then this desire has been wearing me since timelessness probably 

thank you for being incredibly kind always dear friends! 

Hardest Elimination Of Food And A Worth Sharing Video By Dr Joe Dispenza

If you might have noticed that i mention time to time that how with age i have to eliminate some certain type of food . Food that i had never imagined to quit ever .But how life slowly unveils further parts of the reality (complexities of living) with age is inevitable sigh.

All of us have weakness ,an area of life where we feel to have "less control or we find it okay to not control it because we think (consciously or consciously ) it is harmless.

Mine was since beginning to eat until i am full which is not wise of course . For more than twenty years of my life i found milk and all dairy products disgusting . I hated red meat as much as even looking at it would make me vomit .Only protein added to my daily meal was eggs only . Nuts were not in our reach mostly because of their high price back then. 

My parents had healthy habits of eating instead ,and mother will try so hard to make me eat meat or cup of milk at least but invain because sometimes when she would put these things forcefully ,they would return back immediately without getting wet from my stomach even. Can't say whether reason was my high anemic state or else.

Hubby added milk in my food on regular bases which is continued till this day. Nuts are also part of regular diet since some years . But Meat is "huge" thing to digest for my poor stomach as always . Even chicken is hard. Hardly one tiny piece i could  take but it was few years back. But these all are not my favorite foods so no sad feeling to surrender before the "forbidden food" 

But reason to write this post today is that leaving food that i loved most feels tough even today. Red lentil with boiled rice still tempt me ,Fried egg ,potatoes ,cake and sweets which i would take rarely but now they are banned too .

Worst part is leaving tea :(

I did not skip tea completely but started the mission by first most difficult step and that is skipping tea from breakfast :(((

Yes i am trying be brave because starting morning without tea is like saying my brain "shut up" for the thing the poor thing is habitual for more than forty six years sigh!!!

It was crucial because tea was only source to consume sugar  for me. The our addition of sugar in tea has been decreasing from "lightly" to "slightly" since many years . But still it was probably enough to gain weight so tea is first thing that i love most to have in morning but i have quit it and this time whiteout the advice of doctor. I take breakfast with bit of yogurt which i am trying to like now. And i take my cup of teat before lunch which i try to keep sugar free almost. This is first week of change so i wanted to share my heart with you dear friends . 

Did you too have eliminated foods from diet with time ? how did you feel about it and what was most traumatic ? please share 

Watch this beautiful video last day and found it worth sharing because it relates to the transformation of my own state of being with time with help of regular meditation 

 Dr Joe Dispenza  is international speaker ,researcher ,author and educator who is passionate about findings in neuroscience ,epigenetics and quantum physics behind spontaneous remissions. I bet this video will make your day and will leave you with healthier perspective of life! 

Thank you so much for bearing with me ! you are very kind and sweet souls indeed .Grateful to have you all as blogging friends! 

Health ,peace and happiness to you all and to all you love !  

Glimpse Of Scuba Diving, Recovery And Some More Blooms

 First Of All Happy Women's Day .I am feminist .I Love ,adore and respect women for their special input in family life. I consider them a soul and more conscious part of this world because of the emotions and feeling that separate them from men. Congratulations for securing your place in this world !  

 I wasn't feeling well since more than a month .Yes same old flu and cold . I did not go to the doctor and kept myself on self medication like cough syrup and Panadol .I did wrong because that gave timely relief only and flu and cold got worst silently .Silently means it leaped back when i quit medicines. 

So three days back i decided to go to the doctor finally . I requested him to keep the dose light as i want to stay awake during daytime. He replied that flu medicine sedate so can slow and mend the system Though on my insistence he prescribed the medication that i take at night only but they keep me slow during the daytime anyway still . 

But it is good to have head back on shoulders i must say. I don't think i will repeat this mistake ever again ,i mean i will visit to the doctor on time when symptoms appear or may be two days later as they say 

"flu should not be stopped immediately"     

Is this true ?

    Eldest Son has shared this video that i forgot to share with you in previous post about his Trip to Bali ,i felt so happy he could made his dream true as he has been thinking about it since long 

               Health Peace and Joy to all of you and to all you love!

Weather Wonder And a Question

 

Weather seems to surprise day day .Summer seemed to spread it's hot wings just few days back and we thought here came the blistering  days of early summer season this year . Hubby sealed brought the workmen to seal the bedroom for the summers so it can secure air conditioning .We washed and put away our blankets though all warm clothing was washed and packed already two weeks back. 

But suddenly weather took dramatic turn and sky our small city got slightly cloudy . There felt no chance for rain but gentle spring breeze changed into light winds and days were chilly again . We are happy to have summer paused for while (may be just few days) . Seems like it rained somewhere closer part of our country and winds brought the cooling to deliver here :)

I assume that it might seem weird that i avoid to share sad or bad news from my part of land . There are two reasons for it. One that  i know that news are not limited to the people who watch t.v or Radio only but available on social media as well so news find their way  to all  one way or another for those who are interested.

Second is reason is that i simply follow my attitude to avoid sharing heavy pessimistic stuff with blogging friends. Because i don't want to make people 's visit to my blog burdened with things that are already so much and everywhere. 

Whether it is my personal life or life of the my people  of my homeland when it comes to share my heart pics positive and light to share with friends . I like to keep it this way. 

As they say happy times are short and less and sad times are long and more . I don't think it is true .It only feels this way because we all want joys to live longer so no matter how long it is with us it seems natural, easy and short. But when come the sad  times we take them as hardship a burden that can crush us and we want to push it away so bad that even if leaves early ,it feels it lived with us for ages. 

So is that a good habit or bad to keep sad things to ourselves specially when we know that "sharing ' can disturb others ( fools at heart don't want others to bother even slightly)more than "sharing" can make us feel good ?

                                        God Bless You All