i know i am posting late but it is because of extra house chores due to renovation but it all is worth it :)
Your Brain Is Your Adorable Puppy! DON"T Let It Turn Into a Wild Monster Who Can Drag You Whereever He Wants
Wednesday, October 28, 2020
Completion Of Kitchen Renovation !
i know i am posting late but it is because of extra house chores due to renovation but it all is worth it :)
Wednesday, October 21, 2020
In The Middle Of Kitchen Renovation
my most favorite place on earth is my yard :) the peace i feel here and joy is hard to explain . I am deeply grateful for this sense of realization that how close Lord is to his man and all he needs a true call from him so he can response with kindness and eternal love ! I don't know what is after life but i am totally drowned with gratitude that he made me "FEEL" him ,It seems that the door beside which i was waiting for ages has started to open slightly ,the strange comfort and contentment that i used to feel as child even ,still overwhelms me when i look at these gifts ! I did my stretching and little yoga while inhaling his grace and exhaling all the worldly worries for while ,This gives positive start to my day
Thursday, October 15, 2020
Deadly Peace And Whirlpool Of Energies
Sitting in the living room on my dining table i am looking through the window at my neem tree and small garden that seems to place under the shade of my neem tree .This is soothing sight which makes me grateful for the blessings and peace i have in my life .
Sometimes i find myself weird .I feel myself drowned in the ocean of stillness .Like i have become stuck in whirlpool of deadly peace .It is disconnecting me all other bothering feelings inevitably.That makes me feel doubtful about myself. Am i sick to be at extreme peace ?
Should i feel guilty to find such peace within world full of desperation ?
Or i have earn it with constant fight with odds of life and negativity ?
Still guilt does not disappear completely but dims to some extent .
And i am again within whirlpool of stillness .Though query keeps poking my mind ,from where it has come ,this deadly peace ?
Is this worldly stuff or kindness i receive from loved ones ?
Or The" Zero " that always fascinates me with it's nothingness that gives birth to all existing .
Why zero is most attractive number to me ?
Why nothingness has so much appeal ?
Is this world of possibilities springing within zero or "nothingness" that keeps me as deeply " still" from within ?
All i know (now) that it was there within me from beginning but extended by the time and overcame eventually on my remained being belonged to vibrant part of life.Vibrant with dreams and wishes .
I was crystal clear in my longings regarding probable life i had ahead as growing girl then.
Having so less compare to others never bothered me personally . I was content with my carefree attitude .I felt strange fulfillment in the middle of emptiness even.
When i was able to think more clearly in my thirties i felt that desire to feel "close to him"(Lord) grew stronger.
I wanted nothing for myself even then. There was constant weird fear of loosing my most precious feeling of "having him with me " if i wanted world . This desire to "feel close to him " was not self creation .It came along my genes .I inherited it ,from whom i can't say.
This feeling of being close to Him resemble feeling of student who wants to be appreciated by class teacher who he likes so much and adore her effort she put for making him learn stuff for being good human being.
Feeling of "having him" with me felt most comforting when i had less matter or people around. He spoke to me through everything i encountered in life .Nature ,people ,events ,accidents ,incidents and coincident .Each of these thing supported my strength for having faith in Him eventually. Still i know if there was chance for me to get lost in all the nature in world and spend time while feeling strongly connected to him i would have done this .
When i once shared this with hubby he said " it is easy to quit world and stay with him alone but Hard to get in the mess of world and still stay connected to him and live with rules he has set for you as your guardian. This is true test of love that you have for him because temptations of this world are irresistibly compelling and suffering that life bring on you are determined to shake your faith .But without test there is no proof that you loved him truly .
I had to live life of person who is tangled in so many threads that life throw at us as a net to distract us ,captivate us and take us away from him so can illusion and separate us from our actual divine aim of life,
"Observe" "Learn " ".Love "Live " and "Help Others to Live Better if can "
Still i could never discard myself from that feeling that i am tiny part of His eternal energy ,existing within Him ,By Him and pulling towards Him gradually until day i will dissolve in Him once again until He gives me another journey in another shape .So i try Hard to please him by all i can do while living worldly life.
Sometimes when i look at sky i feel that we all are existing within the ocean that is filled with tow kind of energies evidently.
Positive energy and Negative energy .We are left to float among them freely .Our intentions and our tendencies determine our directions which kind of row we will join.
Among the rows of both energies there are places where water of ocean is more thick or thin .And there are whirlpool that wait for voyagers who rush into them blindly .They don't are not meant to let go what is trapped within them.People trapped in them experience extreme pressure of energy whether it is dark or positive .
Those who sail in thick or thin waters live healthy life probably .They don't have to fight with any kind of pressure so they are more relaxed .
People swimming near where whirlpools of energies exist have to resist to prevent themselves from falling in.It is not bad to be trapped within whirlpool of positive energy though balance is always appreciated most by learning that laws of nature offer .
Though how dangerous is to get trapped into the whirlpool of negative energy we all know this. What is the shape of our world today it is obvious that most of us are trapped within whirlpool of negative energy otherwise world would have better face .
I am believer of faith and hope so i hope that not may be all but more people will understand this and will try to avoid this trap .
Planet earth will not be heaven then though but better place where more hands will be available to hold who can fall rather than push to make other fall .
I am sorry if i bored you with my long post today but being honest on my online diary page is must for me .And today words were out of my control .
Actually i wanted to reply to your kind beautiful comments today but slipped away when started to type .
Each of you have left really nice words regarding my renovation and behavior of the wife of my brother.I want to say THANK YOU all of you specially Sue from This and That said beautiful words about true happiness that touched my soul so deep :)
Thank sweet friends how can i repay this kindness and love of your's that becomes backbone of my confidence !
All i can do is to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers and visit your lovely places to sooth my heart.
God Bless You All!
Friday, October 9, 2020
Contentment Is KeY To Happiness And Glimpse Of My Native Town
One part of my kitchen renovation has been finished yesterday.Tiles and marble pieces are installed .Polish will be done after two days . Then carpenter will come and cabinet will be made and installed .I was able to get out in my yard after a week and it was nice to see my heaven flourishing before my eyes :) Though because of cement use thick white layer of the dust has covered my garden inhabitants ,they still look beautiful and soothing . I washed my grains today too so got tired enough to take 15 minutes nap after lunch. I felt better when i woke up.I went out and everything looked so lovely.My neem tree seemed astonishingly majestic bathing with sunshine. Branches looked so happy while embracing soothing breeze .Voices of birds and occasionally passing vehicles were narrating the delight of life.And like millions of times before, my heart wondered " how life can be so beautiful "" ?
I did not know the answer long ago but now i am aware that beauty of everything around me lies within my own self .It is my way to look at things. It is dress carved by my own perception that my eyes carry and make it wear things i see .
Yea i know may be i have created fool's heaven but hey if clever can tell me trick that bring them such peace of mind i will think to try that too :) .Contentment is key to happiness and thankfully i have it since i can think .It makes one person easy to live with and also a person who feels comfortable among all odds.I am grateful to my Lord for this gift!
I used to tell you about my wife of my brother who sends me long voice texts since few months .She was difficult person to live with back when i had to live with her. Her unkindness created problem in my life then.After my marriage we were not in touch for 23 years untill my parents died in 2011.Now when she started to talk through messages i was okay .I thought may be she is changed person now as we all grow with age (mostly ,probably) . I also few times helped her financially when she needed. Now one of her son who is different than his other four siblings has caused some serious problem for her and things got worst when police was involved .
Problem is that everyone including father and sibling is pointing finger at her that she spoiled her son with her extra loving behavior .I mean when she had to warn and handle him wisely she covered his mistakes and that encouraged boy to move further on bad side.
When topic came during our chat and i tried to make her understand that by covering his mistakes she is creating problems for him. It's been month i am trying to convince her politely but she is only just more angry.I don't know what to do all i want is to end it now.Some images to lighten my and your mood .
it was almost 4pm ,two hours to say goodbye to today;s sun ,I don't why but such sights speak to me strongly ,this tiny part of nature that i can experience within my yard connects me immediately to the whole scenario of universe ,i feel i have become particle of air and roaming within the universe peacefully ,joyously ,smilingly ,gratefully :) it seems so real sometimes and i stay in awe for long :)Sky is calm .blue and embracing ,i wonder why the sky is placed before our heads ,may earth is for physical wander and sky for spiritual exploration :) those who feel like me only they can realize what i mean .
I have to finish this post as it is getting dark outside quickly almost 6pm evening .
Stay blessed with kind smile and try to share it with all you meet dear friends .You don' know how and when this gift of your's can enlighten someone's day :)
Blessings to all of you !
Sunday, October 4, 2020
Flowers And Thorns Both Have Reason ,And Glimpse Of Ayub Park Islamabad
Hey beautiful souls !
Hope picking up the flowers gratefully from the garden of life along with all the thorns life offers :) Whenever i think about life free from misery i inevitably think of minds that might have not grown well if this happens . Human mind is designed to learn .And learning is not possible without challenges :) Still water can become stinky and useless but flowing water is always carry new substances that make difference to many other things he encounter with . All the thorns life bring to us are for reason ,so we can realize the value of flowers and should not take them as granted .This gratitude is only very first learning . Other is learning is way to survive among thorns and how to deal with pain if they poke you .Last and most important learning is how to turn this pain in your strength :) Once we cross pain we find how gracious is lord and how he did us favor by making us face all this .
Sharing glimpse of our trip to Ayub Park during our recent visit and stay to Islamabad . It is claimed to be largest park of south Asia and cover 2.300 acres .Always crowded though we visited few days after lock down lifted so it people were less. I remember last time we returned from the entrance because park was literally packed with visitors. This time also we could not spend appropriate time because our cab was stuck in traffic so badly. Hubby was angry as we paid quite amount of fare but we were late due to driver's mistake .Actually he chose wrong road where traffic was heavy .
man with child on shoulder reminded me days when we both used to carry our children like this ,how fast time flies by makes me sad sometimes !