Thursday, December 31, 2020

Happy New Year Precious Coexistents !


Happy  New Year dear  friends !

May you  witness many more prosperous ,peaceful ,Healthy and Joyful years ahead with all you love and care,amen! 

I am thankful for having you all with me since 2009 as despite of all my flaws you always showed compassion  to me and your encouragement keeps me move forward steadily !

I think we all will agree that inspite of all odds pandemic brought our way we cannot call 2020 a complete disaster. We have survived through  such  diseases in past by the grace of lord and let's stick with hope that we will do it again .I feel for those who were directly hit by this  yet we know that  when it comes to Death ,it is inevitable and need no excuse to grab our soul but only "given time " by Lord. This is what i think as believer .Believe it or not we all are waiting for our turn to meet it ,so  all we need to hold the moment in hand tight and extract all the essence it has within for you :) Avoid thinking of past or future because it will not make any difference but spoil the taste of present gift you have right now right here with you!

              So we have  Jumped  to a New Year  2021,Let's Start it  with  fresh and  positive energy and determination  that we will avoid  previous mistakes  and strengthen our efforts for bettering our and other's life by empowering our will power .

When we peak into  cosmic realities and wonders ,it makes us feel extremely "Tiny" We  are  particle of  this astonishing  system and far far away from the reason of our existence ,When i think about the desperation  and thoughtlessness  of humans  it makes me sometime laugh and sometime angry .I wonder  what makes them as ambitious  Or as greedy that they  become  worse than animals for each other .What good does their studies  and knowledge to them if it cannot make them a better or atleast harmless human for others ? They think they will live forever but they forget that even this universe will die, so where will they go to save themselves from end ?Do they really think their money will keep them safe forever .This is Sad and Shameful that what little bit we know is not enough to broaden our mind so we can stop being selfish and think about the goodness of whole humanity .This way we can make our existence SUCCESSFUL    atleast .We  can impress  the Divine Power Out there existing out of this universe with our honest intentions and i really believe that He will re think about us and Turn everything including our End into a pleasurable Miracle  ,Yes i  Completely Believe that He is an Enchanting Divine Energy Present Everywhere Including Within Us And shapes Our Lives According to Our Intentions  and Actions .

  Thinking of moving into next year made me think of Movement  of this  whole universe and then movement of our earth , Being  within everything moving so Fast how blessed we are that we can be still and feel that Stillness too.i  think this feeling is gift from Maker for reason ,reason  to contemplate upon all he  made for us and before us .So we can Learn  Best ways to exist within His Grace and Wonders . This  planet is uniquely designed for us equipped with all we need and by heart we know well it is not just coincidence .We  must  Hear His whisper through His Creations so we  can Connect to our origin and keep  our  orbital movement  Straight instead  of being lost in Tangled jungle of endless lust. That will be a Terrible Wrong turn as it is being proved .

Okay kind people thank you for bearing me until now ,i took help from google image to share my best wishes for all of you :)


I  am an introvert and hardly have friend more than few who live away in native town so i consider you all my true friends with whom i can share my heart  unhesitatingly .Thank you for being here for me .You are in my thoughts and prayers always! Take great care and stay positive with Faith that gives you wing to fly in the endless sky of Hope :) Hugs! 

Thursday, December 24, 2020

Merry Christmas To All Precious Friends !


Merry  Christmas  To  all  precious  friends ,hope  you  are  taking the  best  opportunity  of this  year  for  sprinkling  more  and more  goodness ,joy and  peace  to yourself  and all  around you .Love and kindness is eternal and circle of life within universe proves it beautifully ,so keep being the Light in the dark  for all dear friends :)

Lost  In the  search  for Him 

Who  Shaped  Me

I  found out  that 

He  will be reveling  Himself 

Through  each  soul i embrace with Kindness

Kindness that  that  bears  my  heart  

Just  to  have One  step  more  towards  Him !


Monday, December 21, 2020

Random Thoughts And Images With Kitchen Appliances Sent By My Eldest Son

Hey  Precious Friends !

First of all thank you so much for kind encouraging comments on my previous post!
That  means Lot to me!
I  call my blog an online diary where i share with you what is  in my mind at very present moment when i sit with laptop .It is random and raw most of the time i know but still i feel serene after posting because i feel i was being honest with my feeling or thoughts .
I long for the day when i will be able to  sit and think and then write post ,but i really has no idea when it is going to happen. So instead of waiting for those days probably existing in blurred distant future ,i share what i have on the tip of my tongue  right now .This  overwhelms  me when i find such kind response from all kind generous out there  . It seems a fruitful echo for my call to have friends ! It bring tears of gratitude in my eyes .
So Thank YOU All So Much for being as kind and sweet to your simple  friend ! You are my strength and inspiration for this blogging world  believe me !

Winter  is in it's mid period now.Temps are swinging around 20 to 5 .Loving this weather while knowing that it won't last for long but hardly till the end of the Feb.Rains and snow in Northern and Hilly parts of  southern parts has played it's part to make weather cooler which is nice for winter lovers :)

Needless to say that MISSING MY ELDEST SON TERRIBLY!He called on Saturday and talked for an hour.Thanks to technology (and lord who made technology possible indeed) that we are able to see him at least.He got back from his training week from another city of Germany .He was excited about what he has learnt more there about robots. 

The  robot one he is assisting to build will go to space to participate in some mission (sounds pretty exciting isn't it :) He also sent us video how it works .I could not upload it as always i cannot upload as blogger says to minimize the size of it and i don't know how to do so :( Each try went invain until now.My son told he has sent new oven and microwave  for my kitchen few days ago.  
My knee pain is almost non existing this year due to medicine course i took last year thankfully .So i am able to enjoy cold days more by the grace of Lord and this makes me happier .

Last day i visited to my mother in law and then one of the niece of hubby .We spent few hours in both houses .My mother in law is in her late seventies and healthy by the grace of lord. She can eat some food that i cannot think to have now due to doctor's advice :) this is amazing that older people have better stomachs than us .My parents  too had healthier stomachs than mine ,They hardly had any problem regarding specially chronicle pain from which i suffered most .
Sharing some random   images if you like them 

                                       my eldest son got already a Christmas tree  in his office   

image from my eldest son's  walk in park ( Munich Germany)

sunflowers (artificial) in study room of our house 

she is the niece of my hubby ,i asked hubby to take this one ,it was my first visit to her newly built house which is not painted yet but managed well by her,her yard has no sun so i was feeling cold there 

my mother in law ,she is precious to me despite of all her misbehave in  past because she is mother of the man who is worth more than my own life ,he visits her thrice a week .girl next to her is her granddaughter who came from village nearby for shopping ,we chatted over hot tea with smiles and occasional laughter 

sent by my eldest son ,it belongs also to his walk in the park ,i liked the glitter on the surface of water and the feeling of peace and relaxation  that offers ,how many moments we give ourselves to take break and just Breath  

                 sent by my eldest son ,i think this is of food arranged for the trainees after meeting 

guess what  i was abut to publish post  and heard knock on door ,few men on a vehicle had brought kitchen appliances sent by my eldest son ,he online ordered it in Karachi few days back ,honestly i had no oven before though i used to bake things but with methods that make baking possible even through pots and plates ,lets see how goes my new era of cooking through modern stuff 

which  makes me more than just happy that non of this i asked my son to send ,actually i never asked him to send anything ,last time he asked before coming and i said okay skin care products which he brought with lots and lots of chocolates and some other things like jacket for father and x box for brothers  .but this time he has job and he wants to do things  for us excitingly but all we want him to save for business what he wants to do before getting married ,we are waiting for time so we can see his own family ,he says it will take few years to think about having family so all we can pray for his dream to come true amen! I wonder what would i do with this vacuum cleaner ,it can burst with pile of dust that we collect here in moths of June July 

Okay kind people ,thank you for bearing with me ,i have to get up for evening walk as mr sun has slipped away from the big house in west side .Please stay  safe ,healthy and grateful for all you have already in hands without asking for it !
In my thoughts and prays all of you!
God Bless You All!

Sunday, December 13, 2020

Surviving Skills ,Really ?

 Such  a beautiful day is today here once again :) After recent slight showers  of rain sky looks Divine ! Sun seems  smiling ball of gold and air seems heavenly cool and refreshing :)

So  i found numerous reasons for being grateful for  all i have at he moment once again :) I know nothing lasts forever not seasons of earth nor seasons of life so all i can do is to hold the moment in my hand tight  and embrace it to it's fullest :) 

Do you remember that  once i mentioned  my poor performance in my very first  I Q test ? I  learnt from that failure that not  just how less i know  but how  dull  i am to  put my  thoughts on my tongue ,i mean on screen .Everything happens for the reason  which is my strong belief  too ,So i pondered  upon the  issue and looked  for something helpful online .And  i think  i found  it and it seems good for me as beginner .I  think such  support  will help to shake my head little bit more so my thoughts can reach to my output system bit quickly .  Since is started to watch  Mindfield a Youtube channel my way of understanding things is slightly being changing (positively of course ) .I  think  such support will be beneficial for my learning process (hopefully).

But, what i cannot help is the Panoramic  view of  swiftly  flowing life that  i see all the time through my imagination and it is getting clearer and clearer  everyday weirdly .I am able to accompany  countless living things even tiniest  existing upon and below the ground .Is this what called ONENESS ? No  i am not addicted to anything except my meditation ,yoga and walk.Not even tea anymore seems compelling to me.And this certain feeling does not rise after any specific thing or event ,but it stays with me from rise in the morning to fall asleep now . 

I see  things happening in the world at the same time in the world sometime .Sometime i  find myself  floating in the sky while embracing sun rays.Whole  planet below looks happy beautiful habitat for all the species .My eyes seems  too be able to see all of them at once .Creatures  living joyously within forests ,water mountains and human colonies  look inhabitants  of Utopia.I peak through the plane window passing by .It seems real but not as that much so i can notice features of people's faces .On other moment i rise from the ocean and  take flight with sea birds while  boats and ships are sailing below on the serene surface of sea.I feel i turned into air and crossing the forests smoothly while inhaling the soothing whisper of life within it.

Sometime i feel i am looking at whole virtual album of my own life not just in past but future too .Even i see people burying my empty body and my soul disappearing in the sky . Nothing seems unfamiliar ,like i am looking at the Complete circle of like rolling round before my eyes.This in inexplicable experience  but  it happens to me all the time. And i think this is the reason that keeps me positive and satisfied with life despite of all the odds.

Do you think i should see psychiatrist or i should just enjoy the scenario ? please let me know if so i would love to hear from friends like you all who are amazingly insightful .

I just received  some guests from family so need to say goodbye   :)

Keep  taking good care of yourself  friends see you soon!

Monday, December 7, 2020

Hope , Disappointment , Flowers And Colors


Hey  Amazing  Friends!

Hope  choosing best  of what  hands of time  brings to you in the tray  of life :) I know there are so many kind of dishes  sweet ,sour and bitter and some may be have  definite  taste until  you give it one with your  own  wisdom :).

It depends on our intention and attitude what we select isn't it? Any  of these can bore you if is constantly added to your diet plan so "balanced"  would be a better option (my opinion).Because all tastes are definitely created for reason by the Creator  and tend to make us not just  familiar with of the diversity  of  what Nature have for us but to learn and grow with going through process of "knowing them"

Knowing  all of them not just enhance our knowledge about this presentation  of life but make us more insightful about how we can use them to with the help of our own creativity and imagination (a software installed within us ).If  we have  solid ,healthy and positive  approach we can definitely be more  experimental and intuitive  to gain  beneficial results .

Those who do not choke or worry about sudden encounter with unwanted tastes learn latter how important they were for their better growth .Yet  if they are wiser they add  few more ingredients to them to bring out best out of them :)

My  younger son went for Sat test to Islamabad for two days.But on test day  management refused to let him sit because he had no passport .That was unfair i think .They should have mentioned it while he was filling the form for online registration. They asked for passport number during  filling form  though but not restricted  the procedure when he left the blank undone.Above all they accepted the form and fee instead, which my son printed out and took along,He was bit low at the moment as his preparation was good and he wanted to get rid of this pressure of study eventually .He immediately called his big brother in Germany and tolled everything.He advised him to leave because there was no other option .

Anyway he returned from Islamabad last day .He told that he was not alone who had to go back without giving test but more than twenty students faced this disappointment .What a shame .I think this was just about grabbing fee for nothing because they could have easily mention it  on website that how compulsory a passport was .I am concern about who managed the heavy fee with financial difficulties. I googled about it today and after clicking on few links i knew that passport is only acceptable identification for the students from Nepal ,India and Pakistan.

We have started the procedure for it from today.

  Hubby finished  painting the veranda fences .So i am sharing a photo with you here and yes our late seasonal plantation for seasonal has been done .It will take two months to bear fruit of this task indeed but you can cherish the  gorgeous smile of roses that are soothing my heart :)

Once i heard from a doctor "one can eat whatever he want if he knows how to digest it "
I don't know  what is true about this one  though.All i have learnt that Balance is the key to not just physical health but spiritual too.And both are necessary to thrive as a special spice on earth .
Keep  stay  strong  dear friends .Faith strengthens your soul and once soul is free of illness and healthy it supports a healthy physique believe me.Mostly people interpret it oppositely but this is my belief that i learnt from personal experience :)
wishing you all a serene healthy joyous life ahead! 

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Memories And Clay Oven


Winter  is still mild here.Temperature  is swinging from 14 to 20.Sun is comforting and  breeze is cherishing .I did laundry  last day while hubby was painting the veranda fence .He is home due to lockdown so he manages to pull out some piece of work to full his day and to lessen the pending chores .During days like this i miss my parents more .Our village is in the foothill of  Himalayan so weather was unlike here in south. In our hill top house there,winters were long ,harsh and wet often.

 Though sunny days were  most  beautiful gift during cold weather.People  of my village would love to take sun bath meanwhile .Families will sit in yard and enjoy hot drinks like milk or green tea ,soups and dishes that have gravy.I was fond of  potato and peas with gravy .My sister would love fried stuff more than anything .Mom would love chicken and vegetable soup.Boiled eggs and traditional  deep fry food like samosas and pakoras had special place during whole winter season.

Sitting together under sun in front yard ,having chat  over favorite food while viewing the beauty of surroundings was something most special for me as daughter of the house where parents hardly talk pleasantly .My father would love to eat butter everyday with fresh hot tortilla from oven .My both parents liked to have hot meals .They would not touch if food got cold.That would annoy them .When i was in my late teens i would try to bake bread in our clay oven.

  image is help from google images though our clay oven looked exactly like this one ,but the bigger hole on right was not existed .huge bundle of sticks brought by various members of family was put into it ,fire would take almost twenty minutes and when woods were burnt down and turned into coals ,mom would sit on place made with oven like here in this image ,never found anything more delicious ten hot bread from clay oven, now gas oven are available but bread they bake is less tastier than that from clay oven. Sometime due to hurry mom would cut down veggies ,put oil and all ingredients and spices including splash of water and place it on coals in oven when bread was baked ,she would take the pot out after sometime and most tasty dish was ready to eat.She would bury potato or brinjal in oven coals and take them out ,peal them and make dish with them ,specially crushed brinjal were so delicious after being baked in oven.

It was impossible for me to stick raw bread in the hot oven with bare hands.I would make  them fall often on coals instead .Therefore mom made me a cushion upon which i would  lay my bread and then slap it on the wall of oven .Sometimes bread would slip even from my cushion before i slap it and my sister would laugh loud .Mom would smile and say i must have an extra bag of flour to teach you how to bake bread in the oven. 

Clay oven was also  a good place for socializing. Village women specially neighbors would agree to lit one oven combinedly.They both would combine their sticks to lit oven together  and while baking bread they would chat or gossip a lot .It was popular fashion back then.Sometimes  if  one woman is already tired and has no will to lit her oven she would send her dough to another relative or friend, and she would bake bread for her .Mom would do the same though she would bake for others more ,she was one of the most compassionate woman i ever saw.

Sometimes clay oven would cast sadness to mom.My father was a watch maker in Islamabad ,He would visit for one or two days us to drop money for household.But he would never bring sticks to lit the oven.That was reason mom would be sad when she had to go on hills and gather sticks or send us to do so.We both sister had collected sticks for oven before when we were ten or eleven,later we were not allowed to go out so mom would do it by herself. It would happen when my eldest brother was in army for few years.Before that he would bring huge bundles of sticks from densely wooded hills around .He would bring heaviest bundle  of the sticks among all other fellow friends who would accompany him.His sticks would last for weeks .When he left army abruptly mom was broke with trauma.One of her son was died in thirteenth year of his age.She had only one son who could not studied well because of his weird stubborn nature ,She was happy that he would make his career in army atleast but this dream of her also broken unfortunately.I remember she was called by his officers from Quetta  city (capital of Baluchistan province) by mail.She went all the way by train  to correct his life.When she arrived their one officer told her that  mam your son is our best soldier we have.He comes first in each test always but one thing that he is weirdly stubborn and misbehaves sometimes and disobey  which is not tolerable in army service.They ask her to convince him to not leave army as his has no reason or mis fitness so if he would insist he will be court martial.My brother did not agree and stayed in prison for months.

Long story short when he returned he was more focused on marriage .He hardly brought such big bundle of sticks for our clay oven.Mom had been growing various trees in our yard which were able to provide sticks for oven once in while .Sometimes some of my cousin would deliver us sticks so we can lit oven .We had clay stove too  like all other village houses.

clay stove would consume less feul so mom started to prefer it later as she had lesser energy for scrolling hills for sticks .

I am still of opinion that food cooked on clay stove or oven is tastier .And yes mom had clay pots too in which food would taste heavenly believe me ,mustard green with mutton or chicken  cooked in clay pot  are unforgettable dishes and so many others,tortilla stuffed with radish or cauliflower and i can go on for hour may be :)

Today hubby called some village friends so they can trim the neem tree .They have just left .I was enjoying to share my treasure of memories with you but i will have to off for making lunch now  as it is 1 pm noon now .I can see lots of sunlight playing in my yard now since tree is trimmed .

See you soon friends! Keep treating yourself and all around you with love and kindness as this is best version of you i bet :)

blessings to all of you!

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Rain , Images Of Fresh Look And Winter Vacation


It  rained  here last day and everything  became more visible and delightful to eyes :) Specially my small garden and Neem tree looked divine after shower which lasted for whole day until evening. Sun 's smile seems more charming and soothing today:) which is comforting indeed .Temps are dropped to 17.

hope you will not be bored with constant photos from my yard ,i felt compelled when plants and tree looked totally refined after rain :) i can't explain my joy that i feel when i see such sights ,rain cleansed everything and brought back it's original beauty which is rare case in area where it rains so less 

this rose lasts for weeks unlike the one that is not grafted though it has very lesser fragrance than natural one ,things like this make me wonder if human can produce fragrance or soul as perfect as Nature does ?
my younger son did me favor by capturing these images through his cell phone quickly though yet purity within views is enough to sooth my heart 

same pomegranates but with glow of freshness :) what we have done without water ,it not erase our thirst or wash physical beings but has appeal tranquility that soul need to be refined    

my younger son took this from the window in the room on upper portion ,defines my gratitude perfectly as i feel inside my heart all the time while stepping in the yard :) ,never asked for much from Lord just a kind family whom i can love and feel grateful for as i think love we find on earth from loved one is tiny part of the gift of His own love for us :) 

We  lost power because of the rain that came one hour ago today.Best part of loosing light was that after  finishing my all chores after dinner i could read for more than two hours .It was such a deep pleasure to have book in hands and to read it peacefully without worrying about due duties :) Though that made me miss more such opportunities .If power would have stayed i would have watched t.v with hubby instead. I do so to accompany ,Reading makes one lost within it i don't want to do so when hubby is around .I feel more comfortable sharing his pleasures .I too enjoy shows though the one we like ends soon lol .

Actually may be i am weird that long for peaceful break for reading and may be other people don't think the same but that is me.When you have to get up once in while for taking care of your doings it feels more easy to watch just t.v that does not pull you in much and is fine to quit anytime .

Winter vacations  are announced finally by the authorities  and school will remain closed from 26th of November to 26th of January .I wonder what will happen with academic years as my youngest son who is in grade nine has hardly studied  this year .Anyway things we don't have control can be left upon the Lord eventu,ally after doing our best indeed. 

My eldest son has returned from London to Germany this Sunday Eve.I asked him to share some images so i can share them with my blogging friends .He said he will when he finds free time as office work take over him since he got back.

I  say goodbye now so i can eat my lunch which is traditional bread with yummy cauliflower :) Last day i made soup which was not chicken soup but i used whatever i found at home ,Cabbage ,spinach chicken powder from noodles packet to make it tasty for kids lol .I also added three boiled crushed eggs .It turned out good .I was happy when kids liked it a lot.I also made tomato sauce and fish fry that was delicious by the grace of Lord!

Okay precious fellows saty blessed with wings of faith that keeps you fly on the endless sky of Hope :)

much love and best wishes for you all for days ahead! 

Friday, November 20, 2020

These Extraordinary Days

I don't know whether  it rained somewhere near or what but when i looked at sky in the morning it was DIVINE .Just like sky who  washed away all his sins  (dust obviously)  with rain of faith  and regained his  genuine  beauty once again :)

i can't  convey the magic of this day to you but believe it is one of those rare ones who seems to  not returned ever again with such extra ordinary  enchantment ! Sky looked  looked extremely  blue as below in pics though these are my lees efficient  phone camera. 

light breeze  was smoothly blowing like modest girl in the garden ,no extra naughtiness but soothing flow that embrace  soul  softly and slowly open up the window from which we can see incredibly carved horizons of this universe or open up the golden chest of  beautiful memories ,both bring smile on our lips anyway and leave us in awe of the charm  of this magical spell called life 

when day is rich with such extraordinary beauty ordinary things wear new meaning for seeing eyes ,charm of views does not stay with  just eyedol but paves down within sleeping corners  of  soul and unfold new layers of serenity and joy gently ,to me such divine spiritual experience is familiar because of the meditation and yoga but in days like this, such  feelings are more evident , it seemed my eyes became like deep hollow glasses and were intaking  all the blueness in the sky and glory breathing in environment ,the connection  with what was at other end of the sky was  unbelievably strong ,like someone  touched my eyesight  there with  kindness and sent it back with  divine promise  love and care ,this  enlightened me always with joy that seems doesn't belong to this world 

i  thoughtlessly  picked up my phone and tried to capture those moments which is impossible indeed ,you will see the same old yard but my yard might have noticed the pleasure springing within my walking feet ,sunshine falling on garden  had warmth of the love that i felt when i used to put my head in the lap of my mom,i wondered why sun cannot be as kind always ,soothing rays were therapeutic for my aching body as last day i washed my grains and still felt tired , i realized  why  nature is called Healer 

i am grateful for this big yard that keeps me close  to nature and Lord,i never wanted a closed house where one will not be able to look at the sky the moment he will want to ,most of the people  like houses that are completely closed off  to avoid dust and for security ,thankfully we are not as rich so we have to live in hole ,as far as dust concerns  i try to take care of it as much i can  and i will until the last drop of my energy ,i prefer open sky on my head i know it keeps me alive and cheer up more ,can't imagine life within walls 24/7  ,i will be sick i am sure 


 our roses have started to smile back thankfully, i am waiting for seasonal flowers which seem late  this year 

old shade is torn so we removed it ,that was covering six feet ,hubby is planing to install new one that will cover 8 feet from the outer edge so it will prevent from extreme heat and harmful sun from May to August ,I loved this sight ,sunlight coming in the veranda sooth my heart in winters ,it warms the sitting area with natural heat and i find it very comforting ,,just like a village house 

i love how sun peaks through branches ,i smile whenever i look at this ,this small sight changes my whole mood within seconds ,reminds me rows of trees from my village where i used to run and swing as little girl ,glow of sun seems like smile or kiss of sweet mother nature to me :)

Government will announce whether school will be close or remain open .Our lockdown is mild at the moment .let's see what happens next . I personally don't like lockdown as it shutdown the living for so many in need .They should not starve for basic necessities i think. I think people of today have insight to take care of themselves and follow instruction by govt. Let the people grow up and be cautious and responsible for themselves what you think ?

Stay blessed  with kindness to yourself and all around you precious friends!
that kindness is like seed that will bloom for you sooner or later believe me :)
in my thoughts and prayers ,blessings to all of you!

Monday, November 16, 2020

Weather , Family Event Photos And Divine Happiness


Precious  Fellows !

Hope inhaling grace of Lord each breath with gratitude and positivism because i bet you too know that no matter how big this mess of life sounds ,it is still a short play of single breath that may come or not next time :)

A windy day here today . Strong winds are blowing outside so temperature is dropping to 20.Rains have stated to pour down in various areas of the country.We too had little shower yesterday that transformed  the environment immediately thank goodness .

We are expecting complete lockdown here within few days.I am concerned how long it will last as my younger son has Sat test date in first week of December .I am worried about kids who might have completed their first semester if have chance to admit in university on right time >they missed it because of lockdown and it's again here .All we can do is have faith and keep praying for better days ! 

I want to thank you all of you for kind visits and words !Your kindness keeps me going on blogosphere and fills me with gratitude that i have amazing generous friends who keep me in thoughts. Despite all the distance we have between us we are connected to each other by the robe of humanity ,love and respect.This completes me as an individual ! Let me tell you that i cannot find time always to respond to your comments often though i want to each time.I do so whenever i find time despite of knowing that you will not be reading them now probably because they are late :( I still do as it makes me happy :)

We  are out of  the circle of constant rush hours finally after almost two weeks .

Family gatherings consumes lots of energy and time but bless us with treasures of small pleasurable moments indeed.This time we met with bunch of friends and relatives we had not have chance to meet for quite a while ,so joy was doubled .One of my sister in law (wife of hubby's brother) comes from my (late) aunt's (father's sister)  family .

She celebrated the khatna ceremony of her two sons.Event  took place in their newly built( but incomplete) house because they did not book the hall due to they saving mode as they need money to complete it .Big  yard of new house was suitable for huge crowd.

I attended all parts of the event during three days except that took place during late nights. Reason behind late night events is that ladies feel free from all responsibilities including looking after children and so they can dance and sing freely until daybreak .Such parties start after midnight and i can't afford to participate because of the lack of energy,so i ask them to excuse .And it is also a quite hard ask believe me :)

photos belong to last  day of the event when party was ended after whole night celebration ,some close relatives and friends were also about to leave after lunch  when we entered ,i am with on of my husband's niece ,(eldest brother of hubby) ,she is teacher ,a very active girl who took step for her children and convinced her husband to move into this city from village so kids can find better study environments, she sent her  boys for tuition to me for few months so they can prepare for admission in primary classes here in city .they were smart  children ,i am amazed how children vary just because their mothers have better approach to life  

some young girls were still cheering up the crowd with their performances ,this reminded me my village weddings strongly ,it is rare to celebrate in yards now ,everyone goes straight to halls and sits tight while watching girls on stage performing ,i more like old way when connection with each other is more and easy 

girl standing is younger sister of my sister in law married to a lawyer that belongs to one of the richest families in our city but poor girl lives under lot of pressure caused by her in law parents though husband is caring when alone but ignores her front of parents sadly ,i wonder how people can be so heartless and make life hard for their own children .Girl in green is granddaughter of my late aunt ,lives in Karachi with her husband ,both girls grew up front of me and it seems not long ago they were playing in my old house with my sons 

It was joy to meet people of the village where my  late aunt used to live ,small village where everybody is in blood relation and deeply connected to each other ,it seems amazing when people recognize you from times when they saw you little with parents ,i stopped visiting that village since my aunt died few years back as her all children lives in various village and cities now 

This sadden me when i hear or read that distance between people is increasing since world got so called global village .My eldest son shares that in many countries child birth is getting so less and most of the young people avoid life time commitment which seems scary. I think relationship bring meaning ,beauty and flavor to life without them we are scattered dots ,spread within universe alone ,circling around meaninglessly .Worst part of this loneliness is that we live barren colorless life and stay unaware of divine happiness.Only love can connect us and make us feel the true joy of living that comes with "Sharing" only !
Stay blessed with faith and hope precious friends!
both are wings that makes you keep fly no matter how strong the wind is :) they lead you your divine destination eventually !
In my thoughts and prayers ,all of you !

Saturday, November 7, 2020

About My Days And Heart


It  is 1 pm noon almost.I just  got break from kitchen  while cooking biryani (chicken rice) . Chicken is being ready in my slow cooker .I have put water to boil so i can add rice and let it boil for few minutes. It is nice to cook in kitchen painted by my favorite colors .

 I washed my three blankets two days ago .It was "must" job of the season though not as urgent. We don't need blankets until now yet weather  is  something  less trustworthy so i thought i better do it now instead of delaying .You can call me a work hunter .I like when i find something to do which keeps me not just busy but for better reason :) I realize  that physical  hard work  makes me feel better despite of tiredness .It makes blood flow quick in my veins and brain seems bit awaken too .

I try to put my brain exercise once in a while by attempting to solve puzzles  or joining dots but i confess i am not good at it at all :( Last day i gave an i q test for the first time and result was embarrassing.I gave three tests.Each had ten questions .I got 7 out of ten in first ,6 in second and 3 in third .

Website i used asked for my study level and age and then encouraged me with polite words i was waiting for and those were "may be you just had lunch " Or you have never gave this test before and trying for the first time " third phrase slipped away my mind which means my mind  is slow that's it .I wanted to type answer that "i did not have my evening tea because worker is painting wall ,but i did not find option so left quietly .I will try probably later .Now i can understand why my eldest son doesn't like coffee or tea most of the year but only during winters when he finds it necessary .He says taking it often makes body addicted to it and addiction makes one slave of thing he is addicted .If you cannot find it at  "time" you will starve for it . This is not good thing .

I  have realized that my longing for tea or coffee has decreased since i started to do my meditation and some yoga steps regularly .I take tea hardly twice a day now unless it is too cold ,then i go for third cup .I am happy about this change as i think it has influenced my eyesight for better .

I just took off my biryani from stove.It looks good hope my younger son will like it as it was his request for today .It is 2 pm now .Time seems to fly so quickly since i am old .I remember length of days was annoyingly unbearable sometimes when i was young .I don't know the reason.May be i  have never contemplated on the topic before. May be time we had  then seemed endless like space sooo vast that needed to be fulfilled with things of likening  But it was impossible task indeed .Now i know i have some years left (if have) only.Fog of illusions that  youth creates  has disappeared  so things ahead can be seen clearly.I want to be slow and enjoy them. The ability to taste the beauty of present days and blessings is late gift so i want to unwrap  it smoothly .I don't know if it is possible either or not yet i am enjoying moment i have right now  because that is all i can do to live happily :)

We will go to another city 50 km away from our city .One of my husband's niece is celebrating the khatna ceremony of her sons so family and friends are invited.It will take whole day so i thought to post today .Below few images to share my world with you ,

my eldest son went to London for two weeks ,he preferred to go there despite of lockdown as he said it was needed to change environment for some days ,he will keep working from home though .his updated visa will arrive in December probably so he can visit us probably eventually  in January ,with heart filled with prays i am we all are waiting for that day ! he sent this a week ago when he checked in his hotel in London ,i feel i was there walking on the clouds ,peaking down the earth bathing with sunlight ,looked soothing and hopeful from there ,spending sometime up there refreshes the whole perspective of life believe me 

finally kitchen is mine ,wall above cabinets is painted and green and blue are filling my heart with pleasure :) i did not want this yellow or brown though but painter found it must for the contrast of design but it is bearable thankfully as green and blue dominate them well 

                                                               my green blanket :) 

                                     other both you see are hubby's pick though 

this one was prettiest blanket of all 6 we have but now has spoiled color because it was given to market laundry few times ,they used some extra powerful detergent probably ,i never sent any of my blanket for laundry again .

Okay dear Friends enough for today .Time for my younger one to go for tuition .there are news that school can be closed if cases increase but not until now .Hopping for good for all in this world!
Sending best wishes for days ahead for all of you !
keep being kind to you and all around friends ,this is all we leave behind when quit life !

Monday, November 2, 2020

Honor Killing In My Home Town And Some Heart Sharing


Hey  Sweet Hearts 

Hope beating with  gratitude and hope and embracing each moment  as most precious gift :) Needless to say that life is too short for wasting in negative  ways .No matter how advanced we the human become yet easiest way to true happiness and peace is simplicity.The more we are stick to simple pattern of life the better life we can have here :) Talking through personal experience .Complexities may   make us interesting characters who can earn  fame and other  worldly timely pleasures but if our  goal is inner serenity it is impossible to achieve by going through it.Because  all  methods of living that we try by breaking "LAWS  OF NATURE"  leave us shallow and lost .That is what i learnt from my observations and experiences during 50 years of my life.

I  am loving the days of  current season sooo much :) Staying  not wet with sweat all the time is quite an opportunity we get from October to March .April start to warn with slight sweat that summers are approaching near.Despite of this weathers remains magical until lat week of April.May takes it's start with sudden attack of horrible heat that stays with us until September. So present season is reason for keeping me happy all the time .Sun above my neem tree has glorious friendly sweet smile :))) and gentle breeze is having pleasant conversation with my garden inhabitants .Life is beautiful when we are focused on moment we have in hands isn't it :)

Our kitchen wall is being painted since three days and still incomplete. It might have taken two days only if painter would have done it regularly.Actually i liked the color and design of the wall in the house of my youngest brother in law . I mentioned this to hubby so we can have different but same quality of art on our wall. Hubby asked his brother to send same person for the job .Man was busy somewhere else yet he did not mentioned and agreed he that he will do it within two days. Though he could not which annoyed hubby little bit.He asked painter he must come one day and finish it at once and instead doing it during breaks he takes from other job .So let's see if he comes tomorrow after finishing his job somewhere else .

I did not want to talk about murder that took place in my native town until things were clear to me.It is second time that honor killing was being done in my home town.First time it happened when i was in seventh or eighth grade probably. A ruthless  man burnt his wife brutally. It  was  horrible accident that had kept our small village in terror and sorrow for so long.The man who did this to his wife had gone completely mad within months and committed suicide .

This time a brother has shot is younger sister thrice in chest. He said that it did because she was not making him lunch.Though story that neighbors ,relatives tell is different.According to wife of my brother young girl was being sexually abused by her own father who was homosexual too and was inviting boys at home who were friend of his daughter. Story was hard to digest so i went for second opinion  from others specially relatives of the victim. That cleared things and i have to believe that  even such sinful things can happen in my dear home town now.It is heart breaking for me as i grew up there.People were so pure ,honest and innocent.All connected and helpful  to each other including even those who were considered enemies.Murdered girl is the granddaughter of the aunt(sister of father) of my brother's wife.They are second richest family in village now as aunt of my brother's wife has 13 children and nine of them are boys.Her husband was dishonest brother who betrayed his step brother for property and took all what he had in village .The poor brother left village disappointingly .He had down to earth nature and honest nature .He got job as clerk in government  office and spent his whole life in Islamabad with his wife ,three sons and one daughter.Today he is dead though but his family have peaceful living because they have good kids who love and respect each other thoroughly and are model for others that honesty is the best policy in life.Here step brother who robbed him had nine sons but none of them is who can be appreciated or respected for their actions.His daughters are modest and fine ladies though.

Long story short his eldest son who has been snatching lands from people and selling drugs in village is trying to destroy all the young boys in village.Unfortunately he has succeeded to make most of village boys habitual to drugs .His worker boys become friends of good ones and distract them from studies and drag them into mud of misdeed they themselves are doing.It is acknowledged that "we share what we have " so they are trying to poison others as they are themselves.

My brother's son was one of those unfortunate who got trapped in their net.He was not flawless or clean himself either so he became easy target . Son of my boy claims that he was only friend of the boy who was boyfriend of the victim girl .He said that father of the girl told me to rent a house in village so near and invite the boy who wanted to marry his girl.The boyfriend is also grandson of one of my uncle(mom's side).He came all the way from Dubai where he lived with her elder step sister who brought them up like a mother.He came came and stayed at house rented by my brother's son .After just two days they were raided by police .Boyfriend ran away but my nephew was arrested .He is in jail since more than a month. The eldest brother of girl's father is highly criminal mind and he has sued almost every man and many women of the village  for silly reasons .He does so because he has black money and lots of it.

He has accused  my nephew and few other boys that they were threatening the girl's father that if he does not pay them five lac they will upload photos on social media .And he adds that a brother had to kill his sister because boys walking in streets were showing inappropriate photos of her to him .

My nephew says that his friend betrayed him and used his sim card to upload photos .Boyfriend clears that he was invited for modest cause and then they tried to arrest him .He says that they turned girl against him too so he was heart broken and he did so.Despite of his confess my nephew is still inside .His mother and i exchange daily voice messages .I try to clam her down and keep hopeful. We are waiting for further reports that are being charged against girl's father on the basis of  F.I .R written by brother's wife .The biggest restrain is money of brother of victim girls uncle who is don who runs kind of mafia in the area and has contacts that save him from consequences of his illegal actions .I think Nature is doing is justice already as his all children are harvesting what he has sowed for them .Details will be too lengthy so i will only say that the eldest son who is criminal and cruel to people of village is not leading an ideal life in any aspect . Man had numerous accidents,so many fractures and cannot walk straight even.He has involved his sons into his dark business .His girls are also not in good book of village .In short their huge villas are unable to hide their sins.The whole family seems to face embarrassment and infamy because of the actions of boys of this family.

Here  are some photos of my village that will hold special place in my heart for eternity ,i found myself  compelled to share them with you today s recent circumstances there make my heart  heavy yet i feel better when i look at these ,

cor fields where i used to run and play with my cousins girl friends still do not look stranger to me ,part of me still wanders on patios laying within these fields and  recall and observe that little girl running and laughing care freely ,she  still exist within me  becomes dominant  in few lone moments ,i learnt from her how to live life without making your conscience burdened   

 some new paths that modified by  new walkers ,even they seem so close to my heart as land below them is mine too ,no one can change this "is "into was 

Some paths where we ran and played together now witnessed how calmly we can wander on the them with more understandable attitude and different perspective for looking at things on left is wife of my brother ,on right is her step younger sister and in the middle her cousin (sister of victim girl's father)

each time i look at this front yard of my native home my eyes become teary for various reasons ,love for the place ,gratitude that i was able to spent part of my life there and memories about time when i lived here with my parents and sister ,i don't know why those memories  have such power to overcome all the thoughts of present or future ,i am one who lives in a moment but i believe it is possible because i have such beautiful past and in such lovely village !

Progress in the house is slow since my elder brother has broken his leg and fractured his backbone after falling form roof during his construction work as mason almost eight years back ,after six months treatment he was able to stand and walk .he was known for his good work so he still gets some work though not often .Wife of my brother is little difficult person to make understand so my all efforts are invain to convince her that she should let her boys go cities near (Islamabad ,Rawalpindi) therefore boys are often off job and spend time doing nothing,Eldest has truck who earns bread and necessities hardly ,younger  knwos driving and gets once in while job as loader operator ,he is high school passed and could get some private job in office and study further along but due to stubbornness of my brother's wife he has also became lazy and spend time in wander with friends in various areas of country .youngest  goes college but not fondly .my advice falls of deaf ears though i still not give up and this is why i talk to her so may be i can help her  understand things but all she want is easy  help which is not possible for me .i can help her within limits and i do this when i think she really needs it but i cannot do more than this because i don't earn and i can't force hubby to do it regularly ,she has one daughter who has passed tenth grade and quit study 

i am sure no other view in this whole world will make me feel as serene as this one ,the place where i stood and sat for  numerous times and stared at these hills and garden and fields below ,they nurtured my soul and  opened my window of soul (imagination) this where i met him first (Lord) who spoke to me through his creation though my ability to hear and understand this was not at it's best then ! What i feel about this place ,i can write a short book on it :) it somehow completes me !

Precious fellows sorry for long post again. Hope you will be able to read it ,if you can't it's okay ,let me share what you felt about it anyway :) as your opinions are always wellcome and strengthen me!

Signing off for now with lots of prayers and good wishes for you and your world my friends! 
May you find joy within days and peace within mind each moment !

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