Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Travelling The Inner Universe !


Sitting on the dinning chair front of my laptop i am feeling bit sad ,not because i could not have my son on expected time but more because my last posting seemed to sadden heart of my friends whom i always like to encourage to stay positive no matter how hard the time is. I don't like this .I don't like to have negative feelings inside me ,it feels like i lack oxygen and can't breath properly and this is most scary feeling for anyone alive believe me.

This is not because i don't like to feel sad ,Actually to me it's okay to feel sad once in while because i believe that sadness is a genuine feeling and serves for better in us ,makes us feel healthy emotionally when passed and bring us stronger feeling of joy and gratefulness as well. So it is nice to feel sad once in a while as according to physics law universe has pattern of "waves " which has "up" and "down " so it is obvious to have down after each up and having up after each down .I think all the quotes regarding positiviism have this background .

Sadness is like autumn ,it's influence is rich ,deep and meaningful for people with creative power i think so because i too write a "little bit" so i find myself writing more when i am sad . Yes when i look at my previous written diaries i see they are all written during times when i felt intense and lonely in my life. As a tiny writer with little understanding of life i can say that sadness helps writers to write more or better to some extent .

My present state of sadness differs one i used to experience in my life in past. Despite of my special inner connection to super power of this universe i was still a common person who valued things and relationships existing physically and materialistically so i felt more "sad " and " little disappointed" both  when something bad or unexpected happened in my life. I felt broken ,alone and i cried a lot. I also  did some stupidities to feel better. 

Now when i look back at those times and part of me that existed then i feel like i was held in cage of negativity back then. There was some lush soothing  plant of faith within me to which my physical being was not able to connect perfectly and water properly though i always raised back to surface after each stronger push of negativity that tried to sink me.

I was fortunate to realize that "inner voice" which was trying to pull me in towards my "inner universe". We are not just part of a One Whole Divine Pool which we call "universe" but we have same ingredients and features as our origin has so acting similarly is so natural.

Gradually i started  to feel that "inner Pull" and started to follow it blindly ,blindly mean?

I had been always following this inner pull without being conscious of it ,So when i decided to travel inwardly i encountered with so many my previous situations ,decisions and the results i gained from them ,that encouraged me to not hesitate to follow it blindly  that guided me for moving further into my inner universe fearlessly and follow the genuine paths and natural destination it led to me.

The more i stepped in my "inner universe" the better i understood world outside me. That was astonishing in the beginning because it was really hard to accept that life can be as easy once your own thoughts are well read and well comprehend by you.

It was incredibly amazing to feel that there was no thing like "loneliness" or "disappointment" .

I realized that i was not alone but my being was created within something far far more powerful Energy than me. Despite of perfect separate existence my being was wholly solely connected to something divine and supreme .That divine and supreme energy was like an endless vast sea in which i felt floating like a bubble of it. The Energy existing within this sea had access to encompass my being from within as well as from outside. The phenomena of such dramatic existence felt exceptionally fascinating . Despite of all the strong connection and complete dependency to this Energy i was free to take shape of my choice ,adopt habits of my liking ,set behaviors that i find right for me. I was totally free to exist willfully and for this i was supported by that Energy just like a mother leaves her child to act freely after telling him all good and bad and what is right or wrong for him. What kind of person i want to be was totally "Up To Me" isn't it most beautiful thing to learn that i was born free to live free and make free choices. 

There must be some people like me either  who when once learn the "true face of reality" feel serenity that never leaves them during any disturbing circumstances of life in future. 

"Just like a child who feels protected and peaceful once he realize that he is holding the part of scarf his mother wearing !"

So gradually i grasped  that i was one of those shy or coward children who are always afraid to be left alone in this crowd if they lost the hand of their mother .

Few years back i counted the blessings i had such as life ,health ,shelter and family and felt grateful for them but now i realized that having all such blessings is more precious and meaningful when you see the how and where are the things placed for you!

If i was going to die before  realizing my place in this pattern of life i would have not acquired such sense of fulfillment and peace.

One thing i hated to have in life is "disappointment" .I hardly felt really disappointed but low for while when odd occurred in my life and i feel it was because of this little plant of faith planted in my soul i don't know by whom and since when. Since i learnt how my existence is directly connected to my origin and supported by it completely i found out how can i keep  this connection more "active" to get maximum strength and there is only one rope to tied it stronger is "Unshaken Faith" .Once you are aware how mechanism of things work your faith on a machine is deeper, similarly when i have learnt while travelling in my inner universe how the pattern of this "Sea of Divine Energy" works my faith on Nature or Creator is ultimate !

And once you are on this" level of faith " your possibility to experience miracles is more .

I can feel sad but i cannot feel disappointed because i see the scenario of life on biggest canvas and being part of it makes me think of   things on little bigger scale . I try to follow the rule of Nature or Creator whatever you call it and try to exist harmlessly which makes me hopeful that Nature will support me back for it as it does for everyone else.


Whenever i feel that negativity is trying to haunt me down i close my eyes and find myself  existing within pattern that is my origin and is always there for me .Even with my open eyes i can see now how my being is floating in sea of Divine Energy .It is very Real and Comforting feeling for a child ! I wish we all feel that we are in lap of mother and her children who are obliged to support each other as part of her existence !



  1. You are a very wise old owl Baili. I do feel sad sometimes as music affects me in that way so I don't often listen to it - I share you thoughts/beliefs on the Universe/Divine energy :)

    1. we all learn as we age dear Betty and i am serene i am among of those who like to learn for bettering their attitude so can lead life with better mental health which is way to live a quality physical life as well .

      music has magical effect for a sensitive heart indeed ,it can uplift you in seconds and can make you feel sad instantly ,all depends which mood we have at the moment and how our senses translate music for us that particular time .

      dear Betty my belief about our existence within divine energy is getting stronger everyday ,i had this sense within me since always which protected me from not having even thought of slipping from "way" designed by Nature for us.now when i realize how true was all this i feel deeply grateful for having this gift .
      when because of my almost sixteen years fight against necromancy has transformed my whole being and after crossing lots of painful situations successfully i am rewarded with gift which allows me to see things that are probably totally invisible for others. this is truly a special era of ly life and i am truly thankful for this because it makes me aware of better and graver look of things and it helps me to have better understanding of life and everything about it. this is the main reason that i want to share my heart ,my message to all my friends so they can experience the strength and miracles of faith .

      i could not feel good after posting my last post yesterday because i felt i just added the more sadness into other's plate and this won't be even last thing i would like to do.
      My creator blessed me with faith and then rewarded me with eternal peace for having this faith throughout my life ,so i want to share only good and positive things with all my readers ,i want to assure them that life is all about our own attitude and faith specially so we should stick with it strongly and don't let it go no matter how hard the test is ,the divine energy within which we are existing right now seems to have incredibly strong hold on us and let us be what we really actually want to be with privilege or curse to take all the responsibility of our actions .

  2. dear Debra i did not want to respond comments on my former post despite my all thankfulness for my dear blogging friends who always supported me with their kindness ,if i would be doing so i would have to struggle with my sorrow more and tears that seemed desperate to fall down from my eyes ,i did not want that , i wanted to stay under the umbrella of my hope that is made up of "faith" and i want all my precious friends to have one so can protect themselves from the shower of negativity and disappointment brought by odds we face in day to day life .

    once we are habitual to hold this umbrella on our souls we will learn to stay positive in all tough times of life believe me . this can take time and lots of mental effort but it is possible how nice .

  3. Replies
    1. it is your light dear Ashok that finds light in everything believe me

  4. Without feelings of sadness occasionally you won't feel the joys in your life. A good life is about balance. I am naturally a happy person but I am sad once in a while. As you said it is good sometimes. It is not good to dwell on sadness.

    1. i totally agree dear mimmylynn that beauty is hidden in having balance in everything ,i am sure that even human emotions that certainly are spiritual thing instead of mere neurons stimulation have particular purpose to serve in life and each supports other to obtain meaning in life .

      where joy is light feeling and dwell on surface of human character and makes him more expressive and loud sadness on the other hand has intensity and gravity which pulls down the spirit and seems to make it be slow ,contemplative and more productive .

      like you i am born with huge sense of delight and excitement and inside me i am still a child who feels thrilled and happy like Alice in wonderland :)

      so right about not being captive of one certain emotion ,it can be dangerous for us and all around us ,it is a really destructive thing ,a sickness actually

  5. Baili my friend, I LOVED reading this...if we don't feel sadness how can we feel such great happiness and relief? Like you said, it's all a balance, and we have choices. WE ARE the Universe, lovely, I believe this too. We as people are just a minute version of the divine! Sending love to you! ♥ By the way, I was thinking of you the other day while I did an art video. It'll be posted on Thursday, I did a drawing of Granny and Tweety bird and I dedicated it to you and another friend of mine who is a "Granny" Fan! ♥♥ I hope that lifts any lingering sadness!!! ♥♥

    1. dear Rain you are always so kind !

      as i am feeling an ocean of "awareness" rising within me i can realize that universe is

      " one whole body with soul just like us"
      everything we see in this world and universe laying before our eyes including us is an alive ,active and maturing thing ,i can't say that who is maker and for what is the purpose but one thing is crystal clear that "there is nothing like randomness in it" but everything has reason to exist and aim to serve and we all are being watched from around and within ,for us our lifetime and matters of life are big deal but for one who has designed this scenario it is just a little game or else ,we in life slowly pay back for all what we do but we are so lost in rush hour and foolishness that we cannot realize that creator is playing with us ,leaving us to make choice but still making us reap what we have sown whether good or bad ,it is so obvious i wonder why people can't feel this .

  6. We must be aware of all feelings as feelings can get to control us. Ups and downs is a common term used about our feelings.

    1. this is most important thing you mentioned here dear Red ,i got lots of help from my meditation and yoga which helped to clear my head ,ponder on my thought system and choose carefully which thought is worth following ,it has changed my life completely and i am really thankful for this!

      i see how neuroscientists are writing great books about brain's ability to groom itself according to environment and circumstances ,i believe that era has to begin when every school will keep add it in it's curriculum and students will be train first of all how to train their brain because brain is a machine like a hardware ,we have to choose software very carefully to make this machine work otherwise we will be circling in similar life with lots of negativity that make us to waste our precious time in useless things like ego and rivalry ,corruption and propaganda etc instead of living peacefully as one human nation and spend our time in research to find ways to survive and create better lifestyle

  7. Interesting to read your thoughts here.

    I do think our friends in blogland share so much with each other the good, the not so good, the happy and sad ... it is part of life's rich tapestry.

    My good wishes to you.

    All the best Jan

    1. i feel blessed to be part of this beautiful community dear Jan ,i am grateful to God for this and to my son who introduced me to this :)

      i write my blog as personal diary so i feel okay to share my heart with friends who are experiencing life as well and share their own hearts with us either

  8. There is a difference from sadness and depression, sadness has reason and is tolerable, depression is often without reason and is a weight on the soul that can not be lifted.

    1. sadness is a feeling which comes with reason and stays for a period dear Joe depression is an mental illness which creates certain negativity and keeps mind dwell on it ,this is scary , i think yoga and meditation is best available solution to get rid of it

  9. You are wise women Baili, not everyone can be or will be as good and beautiful as you are.

  10. oh that was so much dear Margaret , i think this world still has many mysterious places and things that we could not explore yet ,similarly there can be many people with far far better mental approach than mine and i am sure of it ,i am just fortunate that my precious helped me to speak my heart with amazingly kind friends like you ! your words are so honoring !

  11. "I felt broken ,alone and i cried a lot. I also did some stupidities to feel better. "

    This hit me right in the heart.

    I think we are made for this, to call out --and be heard.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts here, Baili. Your voice is appreciated. 💙

  12. Baili, this was a beautiful post, my blogger friend. In my mind, what your friends expressed in their comments in your previous post was not so much sadness but sharing your and your family's disappointment. Who would not feel the same if the situation were to happen to them. We all feel sadness at different times and for different reasons and this is part of our human nature. Please take comfort in knowing you can share your joys and disappointments and not feel that you are burdening any of us.

  13. Os momentos de tristeza fazem-nos entrar dentro de nós e pensarmos na vida. Depois apreciamos melhor os momentos felizes. Que sinta em seu coração muitos momentos bons.
    Uma boa semana com muita saúde.
    Um beijo.

  14. I have always enjoyed reading Eckart Tolle. Such wisdom ..so inspiring.

  15. Palavras de uma profunda sabedoria, Baili! Contudo não devemos ser demasiado exigentes connosco... somos humanos, e a tristeza também faz parte dos nossos sentires. Muitas vezes é a forma de processarmos muitos sentimentos contraditórios no nosso íntimo, até entendermos porque os sentimos, e até nos entendermos a nós mesmos.
    Como alguém já disse, a tristeza ou a solidão, são lugares para se permanecer por pouco tempo... mas que não devemos evitar... fazem parte do nosso percurso... e através de tais sentimentos, advém muito entendimento e aprendizagem sobre as circunstâncias que nos rodeiam...
    Gosto imenso dos livros de Eckart Tolle! Não são de leitura fácil... mas são de uma vasta sabedoria, que nos deixa a refletir sobre a vida e nós mesmos!
    Beijinhos! Bom fim de semana!


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