Hey wonderful people!
Do you have magic or what?
How can you be such amazing survivors in the battle of life ?
From where did this striking courage comes to push away all the negativity that attacks on you in day to day life?
What do you do to keep yourself as calm and composed during all the critical situations?
Does this miracle happens all by yourself or you are strengthened by someone else?
Well if you ask same questions from me my answer would be short simple and familiar .
I am one of the most un clever person on earth.
To whom God is carrying with his own will .
Because he knows, i know nothing and can't survive by my own .
So he takes care of me!
My elder sister in law was hospitalized since last two weeks.
Her family doctor (from rural area) failed to diagnose her actual problem and referred her to the kidney doctor in city here .
But he said she had no kidney problem .Only diabetes and dehydration along with some psychological problems .
We visited her regularly, It was relief to know that she was discharged from hospital last day and feeling better at home now.
She was married to a farmer who was son of a landlord in rural area .
They owned lots of farms and mango and date gardens.
They also have so many cattle .
When she married she had to move the rural area where life for women is harder then city here .
But fortunately she was settled their soon and was accepted and loved by her husband and in laws.Her mother in law was already died so she was the woman of the house after her widow sister law .
She had a brother in law whom she loved like her own son .He was hardly 7 years old then.
She gave birth to one boy and 7 daughters .Daughters are not much wellcomed in rural areas still she hold strong position in the house .
Her love with her youngest brother in law turned into a worst problem when he was married to her own younger sister.
She was totally a different person now. She thought of her sister biggest enemy and made her suffer with her terrible behaviors because they all live together in big mansion like house .
Her younger sister who is my youngest sister in law and quite a good friend (now) tells that her marriage was mental shock for her elder sister because she thinks that she had lost the possession of her youngest brother in law upon whom she had complete control before .
This took us years to convince them to move in other house so both families can live peacefully .
My younger sister in law will move in another house which is under construction.
What is so sad about this whole story that my elder sister in law hurt herself emotionally for nothing.
Her over possessive behavior for her brother in law effected her mental health which influenced her family in really bad way.And her children don't care for her much because they think she is responsible for the troubling conditions of the family , though they stand against their aunt with their mom in arguments .
I saw her inhuman remarks and misbehaving with her younger sister when we visited them occasionally .
I felt for the younger sister in law because she was facing this traumatic situations alone just like i faced my in laws in past . Only difference was that i was strong in my defense after four years of mistreating .
But she was disrespected for her each single word and act from all members of family and the head was her own elder sister !
She did not had the support of husband who refused to take her side before his sister in law (wife of his big brother)
This is not easy!
I wish we can respect other's opinions as we do our's.
I wish we have ability to feel pain of others as we do our's .
I wish we can understand that each individual has right to have his own opinion and has right to express it in respectful manner without hurting anyone's feeling.
Here is a saying that
"Heart of man is home of Lord so never try to break it"
Because if you will ,then have courage to take the responsibility for your regrets!
Stay Blessed with strength that comes with faith in your Creator and In yourself!
god bless you all!!!
Great post as always. Being tolerant of others is one of the key to existing in this world. Living under the same roof can also be hard. Sometimes moving apart is the only way
ReplyDeleteHave a great day!
Sad story, but I love what you said in the end, I couldnt agree more☺
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing worse than internal family fighting!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteA great post.
"What is so sad about this whole story that my elder sister in law hurt herself emotionally for nothing."
Sobering words.
But God can heal even the deepest cuts.
Families can be torn apart by internal conflict if we let it happen.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sad story. Life is much harder when people don't respect each other and their thoughts and feelings. It is made even worse when members of the same family are intolerant like this.
ReplyDeleteThat's very sad to hear Baili. Some people are so rigid in their thinking, maybe due to some kind of mental health disorder, that they don't even know what empathy is. They have an air of superiority and nobody but THEY are right. I've met people like that, in fact, my mother was like that and she tore the family apart. I'm happy not to be a part of her life anymore, it was just too toxic. I hope they sort it all out for the sake of the REAL victims in all of this.
ReplyDeleteI love that meme. So sorry about your sister in law, and her mental health.
ReplyDeleteFamilies can be broken apart over conflicts. I like what you said:"
ReplyDeleteI wish we can respect other's opinions as we do our's." There is wisdon in these words.
It is so sad when a person believes that there is only one way... theirs. We are better if we understand that each person has a right to their own way and maybe it is better than ours. We can learn something new from others every day. Not allowing someone we care about to love others is the extreme of selfishness. The more a person loves the more love they have to give to everyone.
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy your posts and you do give your blog-friends such variety to read, and many of your post do give us much to think about...as this one does.
ReplyDeleteMy good wishes.
All the best Jan
There are conflicts in many families and my own was no exception for many years. My brother and his wife and myself went for many years without speaking or speaking in anger. I am glad to say that in recent years, things have become better and we will be seeing them in a couple of weeks for the Easter holiday. I hope that there will also be piece in your family, Baili.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for the conflict in your in-law's family; I hope that dividing the household will help resolve the problem once and for all. Wishing your elder sister-in-law good health. Perhaps being ill will be the agent for a change in her outlook toward her youngest sister. Sometimes a health scare makes people realize how important family is.
ReplyDeleteSo much unnecessary drama. It is very exhausting. People should just live their lives peacefully and allow others to do the same.
ReplyDeleteOh my, such a hard situation, living in separate houses will not undo the hurt she caused sadly but maybe moving forward everyone will find peace. I am catching up with all my blogging friends, I have started a new blog, new name, new beginnings, I hope you will find me, my profile photo will lead you to the link, take care my far way friend, your stories are always so thought provoking and beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThose with control issues have the ability to inflict so much pain; to make the lives of others so miserable. Too bad people don't understand the meaning of the word "family."
ReplyDeleteBut God understands this. I'm so thankful that we belong to Him.
It is always difficult when someone has decided that theirs is the only and will not listen to reasoning by others.
ReplyDeleteOh, Baili!
ReplyDeleteHow did I fall so far behind on your posts? These past few weeks have been very stressful for me. We've "lost" three potential houses by having our offer rejected (1) or overbid (2). My only comfort is that each house was more suitable than the previous one, and I must keep faith that we will get the right house for us.
How do I keep myself "calm and composed during all the critical situations?" Short answer: I don't! But many times I have thought of you and think about your faith and your sage insights into life's challenges.
I'm sorry that your elder s-i-l was hospitalized and diagnosed with diabetes. That's no joke, but it is treatable.
As for family dynamics, I often think of them as swimming through choppy cross currents. I try to cross through these difficult waters by keeping my head above the waves. I'm glad that solutions are slowly being found in your extended family.
I liked your math analogy. I used this and similar ones when teaching my 6 to 9-year-old students. It's a critical lesson in life to learn there can be multiple solutions to a problem and to understand that you must keep working on various solutions to a difficult problem until you find the method that works for you.
My personal goal today is to catch up on all of your posts, working forward from here. I shall have to do it interspersed among other responsibilities. I hope that you are having a lovely day, my perceptive and inspiring friend! Hugs to you!
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