Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Jobless Or Housewife ?

 This   is   almost   11  am  .Hubby   and   kids   are   off  to  their   job   and   studies.

Day   is   bright   and  little   warm (if  i stay indoor)   27 Celsius. 
Sun    is   shining  brightly   in   the   blue  vastness   of    sky. 

My   yard  and   garden  are  taking   the  shower   of   glorious   sun  rays   happily .Whispers   of  breeze   and   chirping   of   birds   are   waving  the  lake   of   silence.

I   am   having   my   tea   while   sitting   front  of  laptop.

Thoughts   blending   in  my  head   like   spoiled   children   who   rush  out   when  listen   the  break  time  bell. 

Like   always   there   is  no   plan   for  posting   today   nor  a  specific   topic   . 

But   like   many    times,   one   thought  is   dominant   in  my   mind . 

And  this   belongs   to  my  desire   for   doing   something    to   earn  (just   to  please  myself  that  i can).

I   always  wanted   to  be  self   dependent . I  wanted   to  do   a  job   to  earn   living   for  myself   and   to  support   my  mother  and  younger   sister .

 I  had   belief   that   job   is  way    not   just   to  self dependence   but   it    gives     chance   to   self   recognition   and   establishment   along  with   sense   of  achievement .

From   the   age  of  24   to   47   i   did   various   jobs   with   gaps   of  years    though .But  i  had  to  leave  them  for  one   or  another   reason  after    one  or  two of   three  years .

That    was   traumatic   situation   for   me . I   began   to   feel  anger  and   pity   for   myself . 

I   thought   i   was  so  unfortunate   to  not    make  my    very   first   dream   come  true .

Unconsciously   i    spent   many    precious  years   of  my  married   life  in  self pity    and   sadness . 

 I   felt   as   it  was   my   fault   to   not  have   perfect   opportunity   .Or   may   be   i   was   not   skilled   enough   to   go   for   right   position   and  avail   it  .

Many   times   i   questioned   the    mercy   of  my   Creator   who   seemed   to   not   letting  me   be   what   i  wanted    to.

I   was   annoyed   and   lost    in   my  desperation   for   a   permanent   job  or   career   on   which   i   can   feel     proud   one   day.

But    our   wanting   or   wishes   are   not   always   fulfilled .

Why ? 

Well   i   can  speak   only   through   my  personal   observations   and   experience  .

And   this   says    that  ,"our   prayers   are   answered   most   of  the   time   sooner   or   later"

"Unanswered   prayers     have   one   reason  behind   them"

And  that     is  to   Test   the   Depth   of   our  Faith  in  our  Creator.

If   we   keep  complaining   and   do   not  realize   the   truth   , We   loose  peace   of   mind   and   strength   to   survive.

 But   if   we    do   not   let   shake   our   faith   in   our   Creator    and    stay    grateful   for   what   he   has  already   given   us   ,

Our   unanswered   prayers   turn   in   to  a   miracle    for   us.   

All    the   things   upon  we   used  to  lament   or  regret    become   surprisingly   in   our   favor .

We   find   that  Way   Chosen    by   Lord    was    Most   Right  Way   for   us .

Far    Better   than   one    we   wanted   to    choose    for  ourselves  earlier !

If   i   was   stuck   in  one   permanent   govt   job   it   was  obvious   that   my    family   and   house   were   probably   neglected    to   great   extent .

The   understanding    between   us  as   family   is   most   peaceful  thing   of  our  life   today.

It   would   have  not  as  smooth   and  strong     if   i   was  a working   woman.

My    Creator   knew   me    Better   Then   Me !

He   knew   that  deep  inside  me   my   most   desired   thing   was   TO   MAKE   A  HAPPY   FAMILY   AND  TO   RAISE    FINE   HUMAN  BEINGS  AS   KIDS !

So   He   blessed   me   with   very   responsible  and  caring   husband!

He   blessed   me   with   three   wonderful   kids   who   always   try  to  make  me  feel  proud   of   them!!!

What  else   i   need   to   be  grateful   and   happy!

And   this   is  why   my  faith   in  him  and   love   for   him   grows   each   day   deeper    and  deeper.

In   my  life   there   are   so   many   incidents   when   he  helped   me   secretly !

When   he   saved   me  from   great   certain  damage   miraculously !

I   will   share   all   with   you   when   he  will   want   me  to  do  it, (he   will  give  me  strength   to  write  about  that).

I  do   not   do   9   to   5   job    though  ,  nor   i  get  salary   for  my   doings .

                                    image source damemagazine .com

I   am   a   happy   house   wife !

I   do   multiple    jobs    to   keep  my  house  clean  and   arranged .

And   to   provide   my   family  a   healthy   and  happy   environment!

In  spite   of  all   health  issues    i   do   not  hire  domestic   help   which  upsets   hubby   and  my  sons.

To   not   do   so  first   reason  is  that   i  am   an  introvert   and  love  to   work   alone  with  my  own  way.

Second   reason   is  that   i   am   workaholic   ,i  can't  stand  sitting  until   my   body   pull   me  down  .

I  find   this   way   of   mine   right   because   i  believe   that   "one   is   healthy   until  he  is  active"

So   i  want  to  keep  moving   till  my  body   give  up.

I   love   to  get  tired  because   it   brings    good   sleep  along!

I   think  about   future  when  i  won't   be  able   to  move  or  people  around  me  will   treat  me  as  i  am  burden   for   them.

It  fears   me  but  in   hidden  corner  of  my  mind  i  have  solution.

I  will   swallow    some  sleeping  pills   and   will   sleep   forever  (respectfully)  ( hopefully  plan  works  well )

I   think   this   is  enough   for  today. 

Sometimes  it  is  hard  to  stop  writing  you  know ,though  there  is  pile  of  laundry  waiting   for  me ,and  then    making  lunch. Cleaning  floors  and  dusting  furniture goes  on  .... :)

Please  take  care  of  yourself  precious  people!

Don't  forget  that  your  maker   loves  you  unconditionally !

All   he  want  a  call  from   you  for  him  so  he  can  turn  everything  in  good  for  you!

God  Bless  You  All!!!


  1. Oh,it is already so hot where you live, in here it is not even 10 C yet☺Very smart words about our prayers!

    1. These are bearably pleasant temperatures for us dear Natalie!

      Real scary season is almost month away 50 plus

  2. Always remember that you are indispensable to your family, baili.
    If you were not doing you job, like my mother in law, how would the other members of your family do theirs?

    1. That is what my eldest son and my husband say dear Pedro!

      My husband calls me " backbone of family "
      Such acknowledgement is overwoverwhelming!

  3. Don't think so much, Baili. Just go with the flow. Swallowing sleeping pills and go to sleep forever just works in the movie. In real life, ones will suffer many days before can get the long sleep. If unfortunate and got saved by people, ones may end up with kidney failure and many other things. Jumping from 10th floor might work but will be painful and some people say between the few seconds will have regrets,

    Anywy... don't think too much. Relax.

    1. Oh dear your assumptions are frightening !

      I will have to rethink about my decision :)

    2. When it is time to go the Lord will come get you Himself. Do not rush things. We have our days and need to live for each one that God has made for us.

  4. Clearly, your family is your pride and joy -- well done!

    1. Absolutely they are dear Debra!

      Their peace and happiness is my income indeed

  5. Thinking of you dear friend. I hope you share your fears with your loving family. They will help you through whatever lies ahead, just as you would do for them.

    1. Thank you dear Marie!

      Some realities of life should be remain un discussed became in love I don't believe in testing the love of my loved ones or putting them in challenging situations.

      I really don't give this much thought but sometimes when suffering of elderly people come in mind

      I think about it inevitably

  6. I loved this inspiring post full of wisdom and learning.

  7. "...or people around me will treat me as i am burden for them."

    Baili, it will not happen this way for you.

    Maybe your grandaughter will delight in caring for you...maybe your son's wife, maybe a stranger from afar. Maybe you will be strong up until the end. But you won't be cast aside. This I know...somehow.

    1. Thank you dear Sandi for such overwhelming words!

      They went straight to my soul and touched my heart so deep

      You are always so giving and sweet my friend !

      I wish all that you said will be true!

  8. It is wonderful how much your family means to you. Home is the most valuable place in the world for many of us. Taking care of it is both vital and noble.

    Have a great week!

    1. dear Brain i believe our Creator made us to have families for certain reason

      Because he wants to tell us that LOVE IS BASE OF CREATIVITY !


  9. Hi Dear Baili, Your writing and love of family is wonderful. Thank you for sharing and for your kind words on my blog. Happy Spring to you my friend! Take good care! John

    1. thank you dear John ,i enjoy you place and specially beautiful images you share from Seattle :)

  10. Before we were married, my husband and I agreed that one of us would stay home with children until they were grown up, and because my husband could earn a higher income, and I was more inclined toward house care and child care anyway, I was the one lucky enough to stay home. I truly believe that the most important job I have ever done was to raise our children to be good, kind people. And I believe the same of you. Children and working partners need an orderly and pleasant environment to come home to from school or work. And women should not have to do two jobs - employed and at home - and be expected to do either one well. These are my thoughts, anyway.

    As for being a burden - I too have thought of this, after watching my father for so many years be dependent on others for the simplest of bodily needs. But I think we never know how we will end up, and we may be strong until the end. Or if we need care, then if we have a happy, close family, they will see that care to be a burden happily carried. We must trust that all will work out.

    Hugs, my dear friend. You always give me something to ponder.

    1. This is surprise to hear that as couple you already decided that on of you is going to take care of kids dear Jenny!

      what i know about your part of land is that women hardly like to stay inside because of favorable environment for grooming and career

      yes this is so right that upbringing of kids took more energy and strength than giving them birth

      It is a constant long stressful process

      and how grateful we feel when we see that seed growing into a strong tall tree ready to deliver it's shadow to his new family :)

      I never thought much about my end until my parents died dear Jenny!

      their death told me that next is my turn and i am so ready for it

      all i want a respectful goodbye instead of miserable end

  11. In my opinion taking care of a husband and children and managing a loving comfortable home for them is the most noble job of all. Not everyone is able to work inside their home. You have the hardest and yet most fulfilling job of all.

    1. i agree dear Emma not everyone is able or agree to take such responsibility which hardly get noticed by family or society

      i have so many examples around who though are responsible for household and look after kids
      But they don't even know the meaning or value of this job they have

      and consequences are terrible

  12. Baili, you are doing the most important job of all, in my opinion. Raising three kids and taking care of them is a wonderful thing. And it is what I did many years ago as well. It's not easy to be there for our kids all day, every day, but I wouldn't have done it any other way. Your post is what I needed to hear today, dear Baili. Your faith is strong, and this was uplifting to hear today.

    Thank you for your precious prayers for my son. That means so much to me. I can tell you could feel my pain having sons of your own. I am blessed with blog friends like you, and I wanted to say thank you for being the wonderful person you are.


    1. We think alike dear Sheri!

      raising children is like constructing a strong character for society .

      this is most important job because If we know our art Well , we will be able to carve a marvelous piece of art !

      As mothers we try to our best to make them fine people ,good ,progressive and harmless for not only themselves but for all living around them.

      This takes blood of a mother !
      yes above is translation of one of saying here

      a child consumes food through mother when is inside and extracts energy of soul when he is out in the world to be a FINE PERSON!

      i am so relaxed to hear that your precious baby is better now my friend!
      may Lord bless him more health and happiness ahead,amen!

  13. Baili, I have worked at jobs outside the home as well as been a stay at home mom and housewife. I think there is honor and worth in all of these things. Your family is lucky to have you. You make their lives better.

    1. Dear Connie i agree both ways of life has their own rewards and i am grateful that i was given to chance also to do jobs and learn many new things to make my life better

      i also gained lots of good memories and earn love and respect during my jobs which is unforgettable

  14. You are wise, you know what you want to do, but you were tested when a young married. It made you stronger - women don't necessarily have to work outside their house in another position, many prefer to work at home looking after their own children, doing washing, cooking and so on. If you work full time when you have your children, then someone else has to look after them.

  15. we learn through the years dear Margaret that what is best for us

    then our perspective towards life changes for better

    Now i know i was chosen by my Creator for best job in the world

    building a human

    no job is harder than it

  16. Sandi is right. God will tell us when to come home. We are to live here until the end of our days & might not even know the purpose in doing that until God tells us after we die.
    I have worked full-time and I have stayed home raising our family. I will never regret staying home although I missed my paycheck :) Our babies are only our babies once, & I appreciate every minute (well, almost) spent at home.
    My mother always told me to be careful what I asked God for. I ignored her, and there were times when I got exactly what I asked for. I was sorry I had asked.
    I loved your post today, Baili (I love every post). Very timely for me, very thought provoking.
    Thank you, dear friend.
    Hugs, Chris

    1. Thank you dear Chris for such wise words !

      I agree that only our Creator has right to decide about our destiny .
      But as a weak human with limited time and even little physical privilege my observation has created FEAR FACTOR for me which provoke me to think about an end which is less miserable and little respectful

      You are very strong lady to carry house and career as successfully :)

      I am sure your children are wonderful persons with kind heart and positive perspective

      Our Lord give us what we ask for him dear Friend because his love is unconditional and eternal

      He wants us to learn from our mistakes though he knows best that

      Our desires get cleare and appreciate with time

  17. In my opinion you are doing the most important job of all …
    God (the creator) will call you at the right time.

    Take care my blogging friend.

    All the best Jan

  18. Such a good post, dear friend. You are of great value to your family. Don't ever forget that! I spent quite a few years taking care of the family and have never regretted it. I raised two amazing young women that I am extremely proud of!

  19. Dear Baili, please remember you have the love of your family. It is most evident in the numerous photos you share with us. If I can go on to live until the Lord calls me home, without desire to sleep forever as I sometimes have in the past, you can too. I am not so blessed with children and grandchildren who respect and love me. It saddens me but I have my husband who is a wonderful partner to finish this life with and that has to be enough.

  20. Another inspiring and thought-provoking post, Baili, with lots of great comments to consider. Caring for a family and a home is a challenging and often thankless occupation, but it is an important undertaking. Raising happy, healthy, responsible children is perhaps the most critical job of all. I could not have children, but I taught elementary children as my main career (the second most critical job of all!).

    I mostly worked or studied all of my adult life. It gave me a lot of satisfaction, and it was good to know that I could stand on my own two feet. However my workaholic personality impacted my health and made life more difficult for my husband and for me. I always railed against housework and groused about it. Ironically, now that I have retired, I'm enjoying housework and take great pride in it.

    I'm not one to sit around, unless I'm doing a task that requires me to sit. I often think of life as movement. I am glad that you are not a sitter either, because being active is one way to stay strong and healthy longer. If I can't get outside to exercise, I walk in circles around the house, and I make myself climb up and down our stairs tens of times a day. I stretch most days too. Our bodies were not made to sit, but rather to move.

    I felt sad when I read about your secret plan, Baili, but I admit I've thought of the same plan myself. I will not judge anyone for choices they make when they are in acute mental or physical pain. I will also fight any law or actions taken against older, sick, frailer, or disabled people because they're perceived as a burden or too costly to pay for. Most of all, I believe that life is a precious gift, and we should be grateful for it until we die. I don't think we should dispense with that gift easily.

    You, Baili, have raised three great sons, and your Ali is a wonderful life partner for you. I know that you treasure them, and I have no doubt that they treasure you. As I see Terry growing older, I find I love him even more; each new gray hair or small wrinkle reminds me that life is fleeting and I must make the most of the time I have with him.

    Take care, my friend!

  21. I also meant to say that you are an amazing writer! The way you describe things is so vivid, fresh, and delightful: ".Whispers of breeze and chirping of birds are waving the lake of silence." In your heart, mind, and soul, you are a poet and a writer of lyrical prose! Don't stop! Also, I think of you as an ambassador for your country and your faith, because you spread mutual understanding and peace.


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