Friday, March 1, 2019

What Happened To My Brother Then !


Hey   Glorious  Hearts!


Hope  and  pray  that    you  are   enjoying   each   moment  in  your  hand  with   gratitude   and  positivity :)


Thank   you  so  much  for  all  the   love  and  support   you  have   showered   through   your   wonderful   sweet   words  on  my  previous   post!

I    felt   so  fortunate  and  blessed   to  receive   such   warmth   from   all   of  you.


I   want   to   share  bit  about  my  brother   and  his  wife   today  as  some  of  you  may   want  to  know  about  them.


As   i  mentioned   that  my  mother  lived  with  us  after  my  marriage  for  almost   one  year.

And  then  she  went  back  to  her  native  village  as  she   did  not   like   the  extreme  weather   specially   summers   of  this  city   which   she  found  so  hard  to  bear.


Meanwhile   my  younger   sister  was living   and   studying  here   with   us   high  school .

My  both  parents   wanted   her  to  complete   her   studies  and  comeback .They  had   decided  that   when   she  will  comeback   ,they  will  not  stay   in  the  village  but  will  move  to  the  Islamabad  in  rental   house.


They   somehow  passed  that  tow   and  half  years   there   while  bearing   rudeness   and   misbehave   of  their   only    son .

Wife   of  my   brother   was   daughter  of  my  aunt(mom's sister)  .She   was   in  love   with  a  boy  out   of   their  cast (cast does matter in marriage specially in village or  rural area)

Her  marriage  with  my  brother  was  totally  arranged .Just  like   brother  she  also   hated  us  for  gaining   education .These  were  also  the  reason  for  her  hatter  and   anger   she   always  showed  towards  us.

However   they  were  doing  good  economically  as  my  brother   was  working   as  supervisor  of  masons   who   construct   buildings .

One  day   i  received   letter  in which  my  father  told  that  my   brother   is   loosing   his  mind  and  most   of   the  time  he  closed  himself  in  room  and  hit  himself   while  mumbling  loudly .

When   few  months   later  i  visited  there   i  saw   that   he  is  not  same  person  anymore .He  was  looking   old , weak  miserable  and  lost . His  eyes   were  reflecting  insanity   of  his  mind .

He  lost   his  job   and   his  family   fell  into    financial  crisis. He   was  stock   of  laugh   for   people  who  used  to  be  afraid  of  him  for  his  physical  power   and  mental   sharpness.

That  was  so  painful  to  see  as  sister   for  both  of  us Meanwhile   my  sister   returned   and  shifted   to  Islamabad  with  parents ,She  was  doing  job  in  semi govt  office  for  quite  good  salary.


We  both  sisters  supported  our  brother 's  family   in   their  critical   times  by   letting  go  all  done  to  us  by  him  as  after  all  he  was  our  blood.

Then  we  heard  that  he  fell  down  from  roof  and   damaged   his  backbone (he  was trained army soldier  who  deliberately  left  his  job after  having court martial) .

His  treatment  needed  a  huge  amount  of  money  that  mostly  was  paid  by  younger  sister  who  was  then  in  America  with  her  first  husband .I  helped  with  lesser  money  than  her  though.

During   these   hardships  when  our  brother's  wife  realized  that   we  treated  her  nicely  and  specially  cared  for  her  kids ,she   became  little   soft  towards  us .Though   we   know  she  cannot  change  her nature  but  i  do  all  goodness  to please  my  Creator  .

Not  his  men  who  were  or are  cruel  to me  for their  own  stupid  reasons!


I  think  everyone  is  responsible  for  their  doings .I  have  always  observed  that   people  pay  for    their  sins  sooner  or  later   though  they   admit  or  not  but  does  it  matter?

Tow   sons   of  my  brother  do   same  to   their  parents  what  they  did  to   their   own  parents  .
Whenever  i  visit  them,  wife  of  my  brother  grieves   upon  her  sons  cruelties    and   asks   me  to   give  her  sons    some  piece  of  advice  to  treat   them  as  better  as  my  sons  treat  me .

I  try   to  do  it   honestly   but  i  know  and  believe  that   this  is  natural  process   of  reaping  what  they  have  sown .


But  when  i  sit  for  pray  i  pray  to  my  dear  Lord  that   may   he  forgive  their  mistakes   as  i  have  forgiven  them  from  depth  of  my  heart.

Because  i  know  they  were  lost  in  darkness  of  ignorance ,  they  did   not   have  the   light  to   identify  the  difference   between  RIGHT   AND    WRONG!

May  God   ease  their  lives, amen!





29 comments:

  1. "Because i know they were lost in darkness of ignorance , they did not have the light to identify the difference between RIGHT AND WRONG!"

    You are exactly right, in my opinion. People do the best they can with what they know at the time they do it. Sometimes they learn how to do better. Sometimes they don't.

    And so much goes into "the best that they know" - upbringing, personality, life experiences, influence of friends, and random influences. So even children from the same parents can turn out very differently.

    You are a wise person, baili, and very kind. It is hard to forgive even when we know people are doing their best, if they have wounded us in the past.

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  2. I am sorry to hear about your brother. It was wonderful that you and other members of your family really stepped up and did what was right. It is sad that not everyone treats everyone else with kindness and respect. It really is so unfortunate that along with the good things that people do, there is also a lot of bad.

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  3. Generational cycles, but they can be broken. Only takes one person.

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  4. It is easier to forgive what someone does to our parents than what they do to us. You are a better person than I am. I may have partially forgiven some people but I will never forget.

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  5. People do pay for their sins in this life or the next.
    God is gracious. And so are you, my friend :)

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  6. How kind of you and your sister to help your brother's family in their time of need.

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  7. I think it is admirable that you treat them with kindness. God bless you, Baili!

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  8. Hi, Baili! I've just read this post and your two previous posts. It amazes me to think of all that you have been through, and I'm glad that I knew there was a happy ending. I'm very glad that you didn't commit suicide. It would have been such a waste of a special life!

    But I understand the place you were in mentally. I have struggled with suicidal thoughts throughout my life. I came really close one night, but it was the thought of what such an act would do to my mother that stopped me. When people are in a self-destructive place it's hard for them to understand how warped their thinking is and they just want their suffering to end, the pain to stop.

    Your mother was a determined and courageous woman. I think that she fought for you and your sister's educations so that you could be more self-reliant and independent. She knew how difficult life could be, especially for a woman.

    I can't imagine what it would be like to be married to someone you didn't know or didn't like. It was a credit to your parents that they let you refuse the marriage proposals that you didn't want to accept. In the end you stayed true to yourself and married a good man.

    Terry is my second husband. I was married once before to a man of my choosing, and I did not make a good choice. I was much wiser the second time around, and I am grateful for the wonderful partner I have in Terry.

    Life is not easy, but I wouldn't have missed it. When I think about the times I was suicidal, I am so grateful that I didn't end my life ~ I would have missed so much that was good.

    Thank you for having the courage to speak out about your experiences. Your words might be just the words to help someone else in crisis. I think it's important to know that people can get past self-destructive desires and go on to live rewarding lives.

    Tipper Gore, the wife of a former vice-president of the United States, spoke out about her struggles with depression and how treatment helped her. Her encouraging people dealing with depression to seek help made me go get help. It changed my life. I'll never be cured of depression, but the medication I take has helped tremendously. If black thoughts creep in, I know I can beat them back and things will get better. I know life is a precious gift.

    You were a responsible and compassionate sister helping your brother and his family through a difficult time. People do reap what they sow, but sometimes a helping hand can set them on the right course again. Your posts always give me a great deal to think about. Sending you a big hug!

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    1. My kind friend Louise thank you so much for always encouraging me through your magically powerful comments!


      Thought that stopped me from taking my life was that
      MY MOM WILL BE ALONE .

      SPECIALLY HER PASSIONATE LOVE FOR ME MADE ME THINK ABOUT HER GRIEF THAT SHE MIGHT HAVE ENCOUNTERED AFTER ME.


      MY BROTHER WAS MENTAL CASE THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE. EXTREME IN HIS ALL VENTURES AND RELATIONSHIPS.

      HE NEVER WAS GIVEN COURAGE TO HURT US PHYSICALLY THOUGH BUT WE WERE BEING MENTALLY TORTURED BY THOUGHTS THAT WE DON'T HAVE A BROTHER IN ACTUAL WAY.

      HE WAS TOTALLY DESTRUCTION FOR HIS PARENTS, SISTERS, WIFE AND EVEN KIDS!

      I LESS BLAME HIS WIFE THAN HIM BECAUSE HE WAS NUTS EVEN BEFORE HIS MARRIAGE.

      HIS EXTREMISM LED HIM TO HURT HIMSELF AT THE END
      HE GOT WEIRD PAINFUL HABIT TO WAVE HIS HEAD RIGHT AND LEFT AS POWERFULLY THAT HIS WHOLE SHAPE OF BODY GOT SHAKY LEANING.

      WHILE DOING SO HE WOULD SAY iNCOMPREHENSible words and voices which was terrifying to watch and hear.

      People around him would say he is cursed for he been doing to his family.

      But we care for him though I can't say I love him but he is human he is blood and care for him come inevitably.

      I am so happy that you found such wonderful life partner. Life tests us in many ways but peace is definite and obvious result for beautiful souls like you my friend :)

      Sharing heart with others lighten our hearts and for this I am so grateful of my kind CREATOR and darling GOOGLE!
      that helped us to connect!

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    2. I am grateful too, Baili, because you are a special friend who brightens my life and teaches me so much! Hugs to you!

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  9. You and your sister provided for them in desperate times. God is good.

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  10. God bless you, Baili.

    All the best Jan

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  11. Dearest Baili, all you say here, I feel myself deep down. We DO all reap what we sow. I have always totally believed that every action of ours will eventually return to us in kind: if we hurt someone, then we will be hurt...and if we are kind to someone then we, ourselves, will receive kindness.
    It is the balance of the Universe. Yes, you are so right, dear Friend!

    Dear Baili...oh thank you so much for having the courage to share your experiences with us. You are helping us to put our own experiences also into perspective.
    You are one of the most kind and caring people I have ever come across...and it is a real privilege to know you!😊😊

    All my love and hugs ❤❤❤

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    1. My kind friend and precious friend Ygraine!

      HOW can I thank you enough for your generous overwhelming words!!!!

      Yes since so beginning of my thoughts I believe that our actions follow us until they show us their results.

      Whatever I do with people around me us to PLEASE MY CREATOR.
      I do it selflessly because I have faith that
      HE IS ALWAYS WATCHING ME WHETHER I AM LONELY OR IN CROWD AND HE IS LIVINLOVING AND GRACIOUS TO REMEMBER ALL THE TIME AND TO ANSWER OUR PRAYS

      MY DEEPEST LOVE FOR YOU MY FRIEND !

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  12. I agree with someone who said that cycles can be broken and only takes one person. A brave person. May the Lord bless you.

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  13. I am sorry to hear about your brother. How beautiful and kind of you and your sister helping the family out.

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  14. The grace of the Lord is sufficient, but the tests are very real. Keep trusting!

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  15. If you live with anger in our hearts it becomes impossible to be happy.
    Have a great week.

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  16. You are a gentle soul, Baili. Your heart is in the right place. When there is a choice, kindness is the better one. I hope you had a lovely weekend xo

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  17. Such an impressive and uplifting post, dearest Baili! Thank you for reminding us of what is really important in life.
    However, as I have written here earlier, I don't think - unfortunately - that our good deeds will be finally paid with kindness. It may happen, but not necessarily. Why do I write this? Perhaps to give my sympathy to those people that have always tried to be good and righteous and will never see their kindness returned to them. World is not fair... let's hope that what will come after this world will be.
    Hugs and blessings to you.

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  18. Fico triste por saber o que aconteceu com seu irmão. Muita coragem…
    Uma boa semana.
    Um beijo.

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  19. It is so difficult when a member of the family has problems, you most certainly did the right thing in supporting your brother's family, even though it must have been very hard for you to do so.

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  20. Everything you write about, touches my soul, because I can relate, but I can't share on my blog! Love you my friend! Big Hugs!

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  21. How difficult it must have been for you to be treated unkindly, and yet you returned this behavior with kindness on your own part. It was generous of you and your sister to help out your brother and his family.

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