Friday, March 29, 2019

Should Accept and Respect Other's Opinion


Hey   wonderful  people!


Do   you   have   magic  or  what?

How   can   you  be   such   amazing  survivors   in   the   battle   of  life ?

From   where   did   this   striking   courage   comes   to   push  away   all   the   negativity   that  attacks   on  you   in   day   to   day   life?

What   do   you   do    to  keep   yourself   as     calm   and composed   during   all   the   critical   situations?

Does    this   miracle    happens   all  by   yourself   or   you   are   strengthened   by   someone   else?


Well   if  you   ask   same   questions   from   me  my   answer    would  be   short   simple   and   familiar  .

I   am  one  of   the   most   un clever  person   on  earth.

To   whom   God    is   carrying   with   his   own  will   .

Because   he  knows,   i  know   nothing   and   can't  survive   by  my  own .

So   he   takes  care  of  me!



My   elder   sister   in  law   was  hospitalized   since   last two   weeks.

Her  family   doctor   (from   rural  area) failed  to   diagnose   her  actual   problem    and  referred     her   to   the   kidney   doctor   in  city   here .


But   he   said  she  had   no  kidney   problem  .Only   diabetes   and   dehydration  along  with   some  psychological   problems   .


We   visited   her   regularly, It  was   relief  to   know   that  she  was   discharged   from  hospital   last   day   and   feeling  better  at   home  now.

She   was  married   to   a  farmer  who  was  son  of  a  landlord   in  rural  area .

They  owned  lots   of  farms  and  mango   and   date   gardens.

They  also   have  so  many  cattle  .

When  she  married   she  had  to  move  the  rural  area  where  life  for  women  is  harder   then   city   here .

But   fortunately  she  was  settled  their   soon   and  was  accepted  and  loved  by  her  husband   and  in  laws.Her  mother  in  law  was  already  died  so  she  was  the  woman  of the  house   after   her  widow   sister  law . 

She   had  a  brother  in  law  whom  she   loved  like  her  own  son .He  was  hardly  7  years  old  then.

She   gave   birth to    one  boy   and 7   daughters .Daughters  are  not  much  wellcomed   in   rural   areas  still   she   hold  strong   position   in  the  house .

Her   love  with  her  youngest   brother  in  law  turned   into   a  worst   problem  when   he   was   married   to  her  own  younger   sister.

She   was  totally   a  different   person   now. She   thought  of  her  sister  biggest  enemy   and  made   her   suffer  with  her  terrible  behaviors   because  they  all  live   together    in    big   mansion   like  house .

Her   younger   sister   who  is  my  youngest   sister  in  law  and  quite  a  good   friend (now) tells  that   her  marriage   was  mental   shock  for   her  elder  sister  because   she  thinks  that   she  had   lost   the  possession   of  her  youngest  brother  in law  upon  whom    she  had  complete  control   before .

This   took  us   years  to  convince  them  to  move  in  other  house  so  both  families   can  live  peacefully .


My  younger  sister   in  law   will  move  in  another  house  which  is  under  construction.

What   is   so   sad  about  this  whole  story  that  my  elder   sister  in  law  hurt   herself   emotionally   for  nothing.

Her  over  possessive  behavior    for  her  brother  in  law   effected  her  mental   health  which   influenced  her  family  in  really  bad   way.And  her   children    don't  care  for  her    much    because  they  think   she  is  responsible   for  the   troubling   conditions   of  the  family ,  though  they   stand   against   their   aunt   with   their  mom   in  arguments .

I   saw   her  inhuman   remarks   and  misbehaving  with  her  younger  sister   when  we  visited   them   occasionally .

I  felt  for  the   younger  sister  in  law  because  she  was  facing  this  traumatic   situations   alone    just  like  i  faced  my  in  laws  in  past . Only   difference   was  that   i  was  strong  in   my   defense   after   four   years    of   mistreating .

  
    But   she   was   disrespected   for  her  each   single  word   and  act   from  all   members   of   family  and  the  head  was  her  own  elder  sister !

She  did not  had  the  support   of  husband  who  refused  to   take  her   side   before  his  sister   in  law (wife  of  his   big  brother)

This is  not easy!



               image  source  aminoapps .com



I   wish   we   can   respect   other's   opinions  as  we  do  our's.

I  wish  we   have  ability   to  feel   pain  of  others  as  we  do  our's .

I   wish   we  can  understand   that   each   individual   has   right   to   have  his   own   opinion  and   has  right  to  express  it  in   respectful   manner  without   hurting  anyone's   feeling.

Here  is  a   saying   that

 "Heart   of   man  is  home  of  Lord   so   never   try   to  break  it" 

Because  if  you  will  ,then  have   courage   to  take   the   responsibility   for  your   regrets!

Stay   Blessed   with   strength   that   comes   with  faith  in  your  Creator  and  In  yourself!

god  bless  you  all!!!


  




19 comments:

  1. Great post as always. Being tolerant of others is one of the key to existing in this world. Living under the same roof can also be hard. Sometimes moving apart is the only way

    Have a great day!

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  2. Sad story, but I love what you said in the end, I couldnt agree more☺

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  3. There's nothing worse than internal family fighting!

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  4. A great post.

    "What is so sad about this whole story that my elder sister in law hurt herself emotionally for nothing."

    Sobering words.

    But God can heal even the deepest cuts.

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  5. Families can be torn apart by internal conflict if we let it happen.

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  6. Such a sad story. Life is much harder when people don't respect each other and their thoughts and feelings. It is made even worse when members of the same family are intolerant like this.

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  7. That's very sad to hear Baili. Some people are so rigid in their thinking, maybe due to some kind of mental health disorder, that they don't even know what empathy is. They have an air of superiority and nobody but THEY are right. I've met people like that, in fact, my mother was like that and she tore the family apart. I'm happy not to be a part of her life anymore, it was just too toxic. I hope they sort it all out for the sake of the REAL victims in all of this.

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  8. I love that meme. So sorry about your sister in law, and her mental health.

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  9. Families can be broken apart over conflicts. I like what you said:"
    I wish we can respect other's opinions as we do our's." There is wisdon in these words.

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  10. It is so sad when a person believes that there is only one way... theirs. We are better if we understand that each person has a right to their own way and maybe it is better than ours. We can learn something new from others every day. Not allowing someone we care about to love others is the extreme of selfishness. The more a person loves the more love they have to give to everyone.

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  11. I always enjoy your posts and you do give your blog-friends such variety to read, and many of your post do give us much to think about...as this one does.

    My good wishes.

    All the best Jan

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  12. There are conflicts in many families and my own was no exception for many years. My brother and his wife and myself went for many years without speaking or speaking in anger. I am glad to say that in recent years, things have become better and we will be seeing them in a couple of weeks for the Easter holiday. I hope that there will also be piece in your family, Baili.

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  13. I am sorry for the conflict in your in-law's family; I hope that dividing the household will help resolve the problem once and for all. Wishing your elder sister-in-law good health. Perhaps being ill will be the agent for a change in her outlook toward her youngest sister. Sometimes a health scare makes people realize how important family is.

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  14. So much unnecessary drama. It is very exhausting. People should just live their lives peacefully and allow others to do the same.

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  15. Oh my, such a hard situation, living in separate houses will not undo the hurt she caused sadly but maybe moving forward everyone will find peace. I am catching up with all my blogging friends, I have started a new blog, new name, new beginnings, I hope you will find me, my profile photo will lead you to the link, take care my far way friend, your stories are always so thought provoking and beautiful.

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  16. Those with control issues have the ability to inflict so much pain; to make the lives of others so miserable. Too bad people don't understand the meaning of the word "family."
    But God understands this. I'm so thankful that we belong to Him.

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  17. It is always difficult when someone has decided that theirs is the only and will not listen to reasoning by others.

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  18. Oh, Baili!
    How did I fall so far behind on your posts? These past few weeks have been very stressful for me. We've "lost" three potential houses by having our offer rejected (1) or overbid (2). My only comfort is that each house was more suitable than the previous one, and I must keep faith that we will get the right house for us.

    How do I keep myself "calm and composed during all the critical situations?" Short answer: I don't! But many times I have thought of you and think about your faith and your sage insights into life's challenges.

    I'm sorry that your elder s-i-l was hospitalized and diagnosed with diabetes. That's no joke, but it is treatable.

    As for family dynamics, I often think of them as swimming through choppy cross currents. I try to cross through these difficult waters by keeping my head above the waves. I'm glad that solutions are slowly being found in your extended family.

    I liked your math analogy. I used this and similar ones when teaching my 6 to 9-year-old students. It's a critical lesson in life to learn there can be multiple solutions to a problem and to understand that you must keep working on various solutions to a difficult problem until you find the method that works for you.

    My personal goal today is to catch up on all of your posts, working forward from here. I shall have to do it interspersed among other responsibilities. I hope that you are having a lovely day, my perceptive and inspiring friend! Hugs to you!

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