Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Appetite Or Psychological Hunger


  I  was   very    fond   of   eating   when   i  was   little . I  could   feel   the  power   of   desire   to   have  something  in  mouth  and  chew   it  all   the  time .

Yes , now   i  can  say   it   was  something  psychological   perhaps . I   was   huge   egg   eater   in  the  house  and  more  than   half   of   eggs  laid   by   mom's   hens   used  to   go  to   straight   in  my  stomach.


Mom  had  small   garden   area   and  dozen   of  hens  who  hatch  22   eggs  after  few  months   and   mom  had  to  widen  coop   for  new   comers .

No  matter  how  much  eggs   were   in   the  house  i  was  never  fed  up   with  eating   them  ,mostly   fried   ones .

Though   in  winters   mom  used  to   give  us  boiled  one  with  hot   milk   or  green   tea .


Apart   from   three  meals  of  the  day   i   was   habitual   to  eat   stale  bread   or  whatever  was   cooked   in house  and  was  left  over  .

Along   with  this   i  also   used  to  keep  my  pockets  full  with  peanuts   or   dried  chick peas .

Mom   was   annoyed  with  my  such  excessive   eating    and  used  to  scold   me   often  specially  when  i  crossed    my  early   teens .She  used  to  say  "stop   moving   your   mouth   like   a   cow   or   you   will  be  a   cow " 

I   was   not  fat   though    but   i  had   slightly  fat   tummy     because   my  poor   stomach   had   to    deal  with   my  madness   about  food  constantly .

I  remember   when   i  was  less  than  ten   years  old    i  had  habit   to   swallow  the  tiny   steel    or  bronze   objects   that   my   father    would  put   on  the  table  while  fixing    the   watch .

And   when   he  would  not   find    he   would    asked   me   about   them   and   i   would   nod   my   head   so   innocently   in " NO"  

( i  feel  so  bad  now  when  i  recall  the  disappointment   appeared  my  father's   face  when  he  could  not    fix   the  watch  he   brought   along  for   holiday   to   fix  it  at  home .

But   i   was   psycho   eater   so  i  ate  quite   amount   of  his   watch  belongings   without   feeling  guilty   for   long .


Radio   ,books   and   t.v   nothing  can   convince   me  for   healthy   and  balance   diet   for  20  years   of   my  life.

After   marriage   when  i   suddenly   got  into   frustrated  environment  (in  laws)   i   started  to   get   chronic   stomach  ache   attacks .


Medicine   were   help   for   period   i  used  them  ,until   one   doctor   diagnosed   my   stomach   ulcer .

Treatment   took  more  then  three  years    but   doctor   advised   to  be  careful   in  choice  and  amount   of  food   if  you   don't   want   this   disease   growing   again   because  regular   medication    can  only    slow   it  but  not   finish  it  completely   as  this   is   almost  15   years  old   disease   in   your   body.


To   be   honest   i  relied   on  medicines  more   than  care   and   hardly   reduced   my   amount  of   meal  .


                                    image  Slideplayer.com


How   could  i   say  no    to   plate   full  of   rice   with  hot  smoky   delicious   pulse  upon  it yummmm......


In   short   eating   was  my  obsession . It  was   not   about  just   want  for  food   it   was   something  complicated  or  i  will   call  it   psychological   hunger   ,something   that  was  not  in  my  hands   because   i  was  not  wise  or  focused   enough   to   control   it   OR  MAY   BE  I  DID  NOT  WANT  TO.


Anyway   i   got   my  gallbladder   surgery   done  in   June  2018  and   i  realized   that   after   that   my   appetite   is   lessening   slowly   and   constantly    which   is   little  upsetting   because   it   is  making  my  energy  level   low.

Which  is   needed  badly   to  be  done  with  daily  routine   of  life .

 I   am  already   taking   quite   number   of  tablets  everyday   so   will    to  consult  for  this   problem  is  in  hesitation   until now.

Visiting  new   doc  will  add  more  medicine   to  regular  doze   so  i  am  thinking  on  it.


My  three  meals   of   the  day  include   the  amount   of  food  now  that  i  used  to  take  at  one   time  of   the  day   an   year   ago .

I   do   my   meditation   and  physical  exercise   almost   everyday   which  is  great   help   to   stay  in  spotlight  of  positivity   by  the   grace  of  Lord!

I   think   in  certain  age   we   all  suffer  with  some   kind  of  obsession   and  feel    so  happy   to  be  addicted    to  it  until    time  reveals   it'd  devastating   effects  on  our  life !


Stay   Blessed   Beautiful    People !

Hugs!    


27 comments:

  1. I have also struggled with food throughout my life. Until a was about forty years old I also are way too much. Over the past twelve years I have kept my eating mostly under control but it is a struggle and I sometimes slip.

    You offer some important insights here into such behaviors. Changing and resisting such bad behavior is a lot more then just knowing the facts.

    Sorry to hear about your ailment and current issues. I hope that you get it sorted out and feel better as soon as possible.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. according to my observations until to age 30 plus or 40 most of people suffer with over eating or unbalanced and unhealthy diet dear Brain!

      this is wisdom that you took things under control and manged to eat healthy later ,i am happy for you!

      somehow i was blessed with sense to recognize the issues and sort out them slowly and i believe this is truly grace of Lord!

      i think my kind creator will help me to solve current problems either sooner or later

      Delete
  2. You appear to have found resolution to your problem, you have a very good common sense attitude to helping yourself, it must have been painful, I’m glad you’re feeling better, I hope good health stays with you,

    ReplyDelete
  3. Eating healthy is a concern for many people, Baili.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Loss of appetite is not a good thing either. I hope everything gets regulated for best health!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for sharing your struggle.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Dear Baili, Thank you, as always, for sharing your story. I am sorry to hear about the struggles but it does sound like you have good answers. I hope good health stays with you. Thank you for your kind comments on my blog. Take good care my friend! John

    ReplyDelete
  7. Fried egg sandwiches were a favorite after school treat at our house. I did not have a problem with my weight even though I love most foods. Often the feeling of constant hunger is the need for a drink of water.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well said dear Emma!

      and to understand the true call it took years sometimes ,now i can realize that when my body wants water rather than tea ,coffee of food

      Delete
  8. When you were young you did what you were told, "Watch what you eat!"

    Sorry I couldn't help myself.

    Diet is the secret to good health. Hopefully you stomach health will heal for good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha

      i enjoyed this one dear Joe !

      i took the saying serious i guess lol

      Delete
  9. You have excellent insight into your relationship with food, Baili, and I'm glad that you are doing everything you can to improve your health and wellbeing. My favorite food group is fruit, and I eat an apple almost every day. They really agree with my body. Wishing you a lovely day, my friend, and sending you a big hug!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bonsoir,

    J'admire votre courage...
    Le fait d'en parler, je pense vous aide dans votre combat...
    Une belle publication.

    Gros bisous

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you my friend

      courage , yes this is needed to share personal issues with friends

      everybody has story ,this is how he feels to talk about it :)

      Delete
  11. I wonder if you still have those watch pieces in your stomach!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha

      and guess what i could never stop wondering about those tiny watch belongings dear Sandi :)

      may little more addition would have made complete watch inside my belly lol

      Delete
  12. That is quite a bit less that you are taking in - do you feel you are not eating enough? or are you happy with the level of intake you have now? I hope it gets sorted out to your satisfaction. And you are so right that eating to live is very different from eating due to emotional or psychological triggers. I struggle with overeating since my early thirties, whereas I never had a problem before that; in fact, I was underweight. Now I have the opposite problem. My biggest problem is just that I like certain foods too much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dear Jenny what i feel after my surgery is that my bag of stomach is contracting constantly

      when hubby asks me that you are eating quite less than you used to eat sometime ago and asks me to take some more bites i feel helpless

      it seems that if will try to eat forcefully it will come out with vomiting which is not good sign according to hubby

      this kind of situation is totally new and surprising to me because i used to be a non stop eater and my three meals were heavy one for each time

      i wish i can feel same way ,because i love life and i love eating ,when i eat my favorite thing at desirable time it seems most amazing moment to me and how bad there is no more such excitement for food :(

      Delete
    2. This sounds to me like something a doctor needs to investigate, my dear friend, to be sure everything is okay, or to have a chance to fix something if it is not okay. Please do not hesitate any longer. Your peace of mind and your health are worth it.

      Delete
  13. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I wish you well with your health. Food struggles are something that many deal with.

    ReplyDelete
  14. There is someone visiting your blog who needs to read this. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you continued success with your meditation and exercise, and much improvement with your new doctor.
    God bless you, my friend :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. I need to burn around five kg.
    I'll do it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dearest Baili, struggling with food is an almost universal issue, isn't it?
    What is it about our stomachs sending us all the wrong signals?
    I know I used to crave all the foods that are deemed bad for us, especially chocolate, cakes and desserts...until, like you, I was diagnosed with stomach ulcers. I really do sympathize, it is such a painful condition...that takes so long to heal. I never took to eating metal items though! Although I did crave coal during my pregnancies!! Haha, between us we could have a watch and a coalmine inside of us!!
    Oh I do hope things soon improve for you. I can't imagine losing my appetite for my favourite foods. It must be a nightmare.
    I am praying for you, dearest Baili...for your return to perfect health.😊😊

    All my love and hugs ❤❤❤

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Coal?

      Oh that sounds scary dear Ygraine!

      From such attempts of oursl's one thing is clear that we obeyed our desires for eating "even weird one" so faithfully.

      Losing appetite for food that we loved most and thought we might have come just to eat them is really terrible
      It is like you can see the temptations around but are force to stay away with warning
      "Just watch don't touch" :(

      Delete
  17. Eating the right way is a struggle for many people, I think. I hope you can get help for feelings of ill health and low energy.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Eating healthy in this world of stress and temptation is a constant struggle to us all. I'm glad that you are taking care of yourself. I believe in the power of meditation.
    Amalia
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thank you for sharing your story.
    Thinking of you and wishing you well with your health.

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete