after the doctor left i saw a tall pretty girl coming towards me .She had a very inspirational personality and confident friendly smile on her face was supporting my weak isolated existence amazingly .
She walked like she was princess ,as the whole world will do as she will say to do .As she was winner of hearts and no sadness ever touched her .
She sat confidently on the desk at side and asked "are you okay ?
Is there something wrong sorry i am asking because i saw you from there as you were arguing with doctor just left "
Her warm friendly accent and caring behaviour encouraged me to tell her what happened. At the end of my talk i realised it was hard for her to hide her smile or may be it looked that smile was strong part of her appearance!
the photo above is of one of our t.v actress but she resembles in her features with aadila so much ,specially the attitude.
She said that " if you come out of your nest you have to prepare for such behaviour from most of men around".
"you can not finish it though you can reduce it by making your presence strong and confident "
"The weak ,shy or low you look men will try to take advantage of you because they are made this way ,they are totally wild when they see women specially young girl around"
She told that her mom is in same ward at other corner ,she is suffering with Hepatitis C and is in great pain as it was late diagnosed disease though doctors were trying their best.
Daily a very expensive injection was brought by plane from Karachi and her body was attached to a plastic bag which was to receive a yellow coloured fluid draining from her body .
I went with her to see her mom and i realized that she was in very serious condition. I prayed for her health in my heart as i liked aadila and i wanted her to be happy .She was an ideal girl .I found such girls only in stories or novels.
She was truly a delight ,full of life .Among all the misery that life was giving her she was still happy and energetic . I was amazed with her confidence ,her dare and bravery .
Each day she got up before the sun ,now she was my friend so she took me each day with her from the secret emergency exit which was not known to other people .We go out .She would meditate to thank God for new day ,then she would pluck flowers form the wide spread huge lawn of hospital.
It would made me terrified as it was written all over that plucking flower is forbidden .But she would say " they will fad away anyway .people outside who can see them are healthy and don't have time to look at them"
"can you imagine when sick people laying inside on beds since long will see them around how much nice they will feel " These flowers will give them happiness and delight " they will evoke life in them"
We bring lots of flowers in ward and she distribute them among all patients .I saw that she was right flowers brought beauty and smile on their faded faces .
I met also her elder sister who was very stylish and confident girl .She was working as manger in bank of Rawalpindi. She also had a brother who was also doing job in private firm .Their father was died years ago and their mother brought them up with great effort and hardwork.But now she was ill and her kids were struggling for her life so in this part of life they can give her some joy and rest.
I hardly spent two weeks with aadila but in those few days i learnt lot from her . Though i cannot change my outlook yet i learnt that you should react when someone is actually a threat for you otherwise ignoring is best for ignorant acts of ignorant people .
I learnt that anger shows that you cannot do anything else except being angry . Store your anger as amount of energy and turn this energy to empower yourself.
I learnt that fear is good ,use it as fence around you but always keep one exit open to jump out of it so you can see what is behind it.
I learnt being sad is okay but wearing label of it and asking for sympathy or self pity is shameful thing to do because by doing so you show that you are helpless and useless even to face your own problems .
She always said crying and complaining is only waste of time .Let's do our best and then except what comes to us with open heart.
And she proved her words when her mom could not make it and died front of her eyes in spite of all efforts .
I was crying as my own mom died but aadila was calm though tears were dropping from her eyes yet she was trying to look after her elder sister and brother who were crying screamingly .Her face was flat and emotionless.I wondered what made her as strong and mature ,may be the death of one of her parent when she needed him badly or may be the struggle and sufferings of her mother who brought them up all by herself in this male dominated society .
I could never forget aadila,, her smiling face who had power to change people's life and perspective as she changed mine
love you all friends!
please take care stay positive ,life is too short and has no description when suddenly it will end!
God bless you all!!!
Instressting story,...
ReplyDeletebeautifully written and such wise advice.
ReplyDeleteAnother wonderful post. Sometimes people's outer strength is contagious. Sometimes people that we encounter for short periods of time really make an impact and stay with us.
ReplyDeleteAadila sounds like a wonderful and wise young woman!
ReplyDeletea beautiful story...a smile can change everything!!!
ReplyDeleteA lovely friend with a lovely spirit entered your life when you needed her. She helped you open your eyes to the world around you and made you ready to open your heart when you began your family. She strengthened herself by befriending you. She was a remarkable woman.
ReplyDeleteThat's a very nice story Baili. So glad you met her and learned so much from her!
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely friend you made!
ReplyDeleteWise things Aadila taught you. Was she a Dr. also?
ReplyDeleteI was taught many things when I trained and this helped me greatly, helped me to stay strong and teach others to do so too. It's amazing how strength comes when needed.
Aadila sounds like a lovely soul. I'm glad you got the chance to meet her!
ReplyDeleteA beautiful, wise, friend you made! A friend who taught you so much! I am so sorry for the loss of both your mothers!
ReplyDelete"if you come out of your nest you have to prepare for such behaviour from most of men around"
ReplyDeleteI don't accept such statement
O woman can't do what she wants because men are perverts??
No, no, no!
What an inspiring story, Baili! Sometimes in life we are fortunate enough to meet people like Aadila,
ReplyDeleteand they leave an indelible mark on us. You learned powerful lessons about anger, fear, and courage. Her picking of flowers shows her compassion, but her observation about healthy people outside the hospital not having time to look at them is insightful and sad. Life is a gift, and it should never be taken for granted. Thank you for this compelling reminder, my friend!
I have always wondered why some men are gentlemen and others are pigs. I think it comes down to individual choice and lack of accountability for some men's despicable behavior. Fortunately there are many loving, honorable, supportive men in the world, and this gives me hope that things will change for the better. I have experienced sexual harassment many times, but I have overcome it. I think some men are intimidated, even threatened, by strong and confident women. I'm hoping that the "Me Too" movement and other events happening in the US will have an impact on American men behaving badly. Our world has many problems, and women have great potential to help solve its difficult problems. Sending you love and hugs, my friend!
It is good to have someone to cheer you up and to encourage you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful person!! I'm glad you were there to learn from her. I think you are probably very much like her but she's right - you can exude that confidence knowing who God made you to be. You are one of God's creations and you deserve basic respect! :)
ReplyDeleteHow lucky you were to meet aadila and be able to learn these lessons from her. She clearly made a big impact on you, and through sharing these lessons here, you are making an impact on other people. Good advice on all these issues, some of which I think is especially necessary in your country because the culture still favours men. Thank you for a wise and meaningful post, baili.
ReplyDeleteHow fortunate to meet a peer with such a good outlook at the time.
ReplyDeleteHello, what a lovely lady. It is good to have a positive outlook and thoughts. I am glad she was there to help cheer you up! Enjoy your day!
ReplyDeleteShe sounds like a wonderful and wise young woman
ReplyDeleteYou had a very wise friend there, perhaps a guardian Angel. Yes, negative energy has to be harnessed and used wisely, i do believe. My mother used to show me to imagine an invisible barrier around me and my family and home, drawn from the moon, i still do it. It's probably visual meditation but it works :)
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you found a kind friend when you needed it most, dear Baili. You must have felt so alone by your sick Mother's bed-side and vulnerable to anyone who wished to take advantage of your vulnerability. Sometimes we have to show our bravery up front so we are not taken advantage of, and it seems you had to do that with the young doctor. Your new friend showed you how to have Grace even when life is difficult. A lovely story of friendship and inspiration. Sending hugs and blessings xo Karen
ReplyDeleteFor sure, dearest Baili...life is much too short to be anything but positive.
ReplyDeleteAnd how wonderful to know that you have found such a beautiful and kind friend...who has taught you the sad fact that many men will take advantage of a young woman who appears lacking in confidence. Gosh, how I wish someone had taught me this when I was younger...would have saved me from much heartache!
Yes, such a beautiful story, dear Baili...
Sending you much Love & Hugs xoxoxo
Dear Baili - your mentor sounds like a beautiful lady and such a great example. Hope your day is filled with all of God's blessings.
ReplyDeleteAadila sounds like a wonderful person :-)
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this second part of the story and what a friend you met! how very wise. Sad that you both lost your mothers but you had a great friend in her to share your experience with. I will be back in awhile to read the third part. Busy morning here.
ReplyDelete"I learnt that anger shows that you cannot do anything else except being angry ."
ReplyDeleteThat is so true.
This is a beautiful, interesting story. I loved the thoughts about anger and fear.
ReplyDelete