Tuesday, November 14, 2017

How to erase the sexsual harassment ,Revolutionery Steps are Required

   This  is  the  topic  upon  which  i  thought  over  and  over  throughout   my  life . I  born  in  area   where  the   society  is  male  dominated   though , but  in   totality  when  i  contemplate   on  the  situations    that   women  encounter   all  over  the  world  

 i  think   the    whole  world  is   MALE  DOMINATED .

No  matter  how  advanced  the  countries  are  and  how  modern  the  appearances  have  become   it  does  not   change  the  attitude  of  men  towards   women.

I  am  not  saying  that  each  man  is  Dog  (sorry mr  Dogs,  if  i  insulted  you)  but  most  of  them   behave  like  them .When   they   look   at  woman   their  eyes  seem   to  get   wider   and  tongues   drops  on  the  floor  like  carpet   under  the  feet  of  women .In  rural  areas  you  can  see  the  symptoms   CLEARLY   but   in  Modern   areas   dogs  i  mean  men  are  expert  to  hide   their  thrill  .

Reason   is  so  simple   because   men   who  act   like  this   " loose  control  over   their  brains ( poor  shameless  creatures)   and  start   thinking  through   their  specific   bundle   of  organs" instead  of  brain.  

Physical   hungers   are  alike  to  stomach   hunger   and  is  from  basic  human  instinct   but   how   weird  that  " if   the  Civilized   looking   people  when  feel   hungry   they   hesitate   to  ask  for  sandwich   from   others  or  don't   push   themselves   to  snatch   food   from   the  lunch  box  of  anyone  else " .

They   control   their  hunger  and  behave  like  good  civilized  people  so   people  around  them  can   keep     respecting     them.
How   shameful    that   such   well   educated  and  finely appeared   men   behave   like   hungry   wild   animals   when  they   find  women   front   of  them . Their  all  other  senses  go  off!,  except  one  "the  desperation   to  release  their  water  in  pots  which   are  not  their's .

In  my   head  this  question  arises  with   power    that  




Then   what   make  men   to   Harass  or   rape   woman  ?
First   psychological    reason   can  be  that ,

" Because    they   know   that   victim   is  physically   easy   to  overcome    "  this  is  what  make  them  feel  free   to   try.

Second  reason  can  be  ,

"they   know  that   mostly  there  is  no   chance  for  punishment  either "

Over   the   centuries  women   are  being  beaten  ,burnt ,murdered   and  raped   by  such   sick  men  but  there   are  rare   examples  of   women   when  women  striked   back   and  fought   for   her   honour .When  victims  were  successful  in  giving   criminals   proper  punishment   through  law   or  by  themselves.

 In   my  country   Pakistan   Mukhtar Mai     is  great  example   of   courage   and   bravery . 

Main  problem   starts  with " fear" that  is  injected  in  the  blood   of  eastern  women  for  men   outside , fear  is   good  it  keeps  us  save  most  of  the  time  but  what   about  when  it  cannot?

Women  must   be  given  physical  trainings  as  part  of  their  studies   on   serious   bases  .There  must  be  a  separate  subject   for   women   from   early   stage   of  education  to  make   her  grow  with  awareness ,will  power  and    self   confidence ,  

No  menly   government   will   do  this  because  most  of  the  rapist   sit  on  those  powerful   seats and  set   free   their   followers   to  exploit   weaker   part  of  the  population    the  way  they   want.  

Women  need  to  do  this  by   on  their  own ,by    connecting  with  each   other  and   by   founding  some   kind  of  foundation   which   must   work   for  this  purpose  constantly .Constant   falling  of  water  drop   makes   hole  in  stone   so   i   am   sure  that   such   regular   efforts   will  bring   positive   consequences   for  future  women.

May   be  this  sound   small   and  raw  idea   but   focusing   on  small   issues   we   can  solve   huge   problems ,Each   unique   and  huge   idea  sounds  crazy   and  useless   to   common  heads  but  history   reveals  that   they   brought  revolutionary   changes  on  the  map  of  world   later.

Women   of  this   World  must   recognize   these   weak   points   and  must   work   on   them  to  make  their   strongest   point.

Woman   has  ability   to  give   birth   to  a  man   so  she   can  turn  him  into   a  harmless   social   animal  for  sure    by  being   a  Good  mother   first   of  all .

By  educating   their   boys   that   how  they   must   treat  women  ,to  treat  women  respectfully  they  must   have  respectful  attitude   for   women  and  only   mothers   can  make  this   happen.

 Mostly  we   are  made  to  think  that  women   is  not  targeted  if  she  is  between  the  walls  or  she  hide  herself  in  cover   while  going   out .Men   have   different  ways   to  harass  women . They   harass   women   with  cover  secretly  and  women   with  bold   look   openly  .

It  does  not  matter   how  Modest   she   is.
It   does  not  matter   how  bold  she  is  .

What  matter   is " the  way   man  look   at  her " to  him  she  is  only  a  "flesh"  to  attack  on ".
  there  are  numerous   cases   where  daughters  and  sisters  were   sexually  abused   by  their  own  brothers  ,fathers  ,father  in  laws  ,uncles  or  cousins .

Almost  two  years  back  a  newly  married  girl   from  neighborhood  came  to  me. She  was  crying  so  badly  and  asked  me   to   ask  my  husband  to   convince  her  husband   to  get  her  a  separate  house   because   her  father   in  law  was  abusing  her  sexually  .Even  he   removed  the  lock   of  her   room's   door  and  she  was  not  able  to  sleep  out  of   fear  and  terror .

That  man   is  77  or  even  more   and  his  impression   is  of  a  very  religious  man  who   made  his  son   divorced  his  first   wife  just  because  she  was  not  covering  her  head  properly    (actually  she  was  not  allowing   that  bastard  to  get  her  pants  off)  as  she  was  bold  and  daring  to  raise  her  voice  against  him  and  got  divorce  within  three  months. Second  wife  his  son  is (who  came to me)  an  orphan  and  shy .whom  he  thought  easy  target .

I  told  her  that   no  one  can  help   her  until  she  will ,i  convinced  her  to  tell  everything  to  her  husband  loud  and  clear  and  protest  against  her  father in  law's  dirty  acts ,she  did  and  finally  today  she  is  living  peacefully  in  upper  story  of  house.

This  is  also  a   fact  that   there  are   bunch  of  women   who   are  easy   to  approach   and  keep  tag  on  of  "available"   It  increases   the  wildness   of  wiled   dogs . But  if  they  consider  themselves  man  not  dog  then  they   should  know  that "man  has  self respect" which  saves  him  from  being  disgrace   like  this.

If  they  have  "self  respect" they  will  turn  their  head  even  from   the  naked  woman  who  stand  in front  of  them  with  offer.

Selfrespect  differentiate  man  from  animals .Animal   act  according to  their  natural   instincts  but  man   is  meant  to   be  well  esteemed  ,well  behaved  and  modified  in  skills  of  his  presence  in  society There  must  be  difference  between  both   though!

My  precious  friends  today's  post  is  dedicated  to  protesters  of  America  against  Harvey  Weinstein  of  hollywood .
 Please  take  great  care  .
Believe  that  you  are  strongest   and  you  will  be   because  our   thoughts  make  us  what  we  are  today.

God  Bless  You  All!!!


  1. Baili - I have no idea why some men think it's their God Given Gift to rape a women, or even think about raping, sexually harassing a women.
    Here in Australia the younger women can wear bikini to at the beach it's normal, but unfortunately some men do not behave at the sight of a women in such attire - they don't used their brains or they don't have any or just a few.
    I recall I walked down the street in Brisbane in short shorts and a bikini top and men turned their heads some bumped into parking meters, it was normal to walk down the street like that back then - so I don't know what's wrong with some men, and I guess I never will know.

  2. The issue that you raise in indeed a world wide one. It is a terrible human rights violations and it needs to be seriously addressed. Many women that I know personally have endured this.

    I agree that there are things to be done to prevent this. I believe that more women in positions of authority, and a better system where women can report harassment and the perpetrators punished would help I also agree with you that a changed attitude will also improve the situation.

    I am glad to hear that the woman that you mentioned stood up for herself and is doing well now.

    Have a great week!

  3. A girl or woman must do what she has to do to survive an attack. Letting the lid off the Pandora’s box of secrecy about sexual harassment and assault is the beginning. We have a long way to go to have a ssociety where people respect themselves and each other.


  4. I feel so bad for the women in your post here. That is horrifying.

    I have led a protected life, it seems, but I still think this is not the norm as the world would have us believe. It’s not all men. There are heroes among us. :) I am raising sons and they are not monsters.

  5. It is an abuse of power. So glad also that you were able to help that poor woman.

  6. Men I know ask why so many women didn't speak up when it happened. I say, "Until your are a woman do not judge." You are quiet because you have no voice, no platform, no mentors. That is until someone, somewhere has what it takes to stand up and speak out. That person graciously allows others to borrow a little strength, bravery and community to get up and do the same.

  7. These sexual abuses are not because the male desires the female. It is strictly to exert his dominance over her. If he desired her he would do everything in his power to make her feel safe. Instead he is doing everything he can to make her fear him and submit to his power. These are males who feel powerless in other ways and are trying to bolster themselves in their own eyes. That is why they keep their actions hidden. The reasons females don't come forward are many. It is often her word against his. Sometimes there are possibly other areas of her life (real or imagined) that would be harmed and even destroyed if she said something. Most of us were raised to "behave like a lady" at all times so we feel that we did something wrong to cause the abuse. A large percentage of females around the world have experienced unwanted sexual encounters. And most keep it secret from everyone because they feel responsible along with feeling victimized. Let me say that we all see other humans who are nice to look at. It is like art. We like beautiful things. But we look to appreciate the beauty, not for salacious reasons. I hope that bringing these reprehensible acts out into the open will make it easier for anyone who is expected to put up with unwanted advances to come forward and point to the person so it will not be considered normal behavior.

  8. Thank you for speaking out on these worldwide problems, Baili! What a powerful post, my dear friend ~ And a courageous one! So far men in western society have largely been able to get away with such behavior because they didn't have to fear consequences. Women hesitated to speak up because it could cost them their reputations and their chosen careers and they would be considered responsible for what happened. Men are perfectly capable of controlling themselves if they so choose. It's all about power and control. Harvey Weinstein is only one of many rich and powerful men who have subjected women to unwanted sexual encounters or sexual harassment. I'm hoping that the tide is beginning to turn with women starting to speak up.

  9. Everything you say is true. I think most men are not like this but it only takes a few to make all men seem bad.

    I read an article that claimed most crimes are due to a genetic disease, the Y chromosome. Men have an X and a Y (XY) but women have two X's (XX). It claimed the proof was the fact that prisons are for the most part occupied by males.

    I don't think this is true. It's the fault of our culture. I am sure your kids will be kind and intelligent.

  10. This is an intelligent and powerful essay, baili - well said. Women do need to be strong and behave as the equals they believe themselves to be and indeed are. Mothers do need to teach their sons respect for women and also to teach their daughters to be strong.

    I agree with John M that many men are not like this. It must be hard for those good men to be painted with the same brush as the bad ones.

  11. It is such a horrific thing that you speak of Baili! It is true that here in America many women are protected from such evil things, but there is no doubt that it is a problem. The advice you gave your friend who visited you was wise, and I'm so thankful that things have gotten better for her. I truly don't know what the answer is, but it is good to talk about what to do about it.

  12. Very well said Baili, you have some excellent ideas on educating women today to protect the women of tomorrow, small ideas to accomplish big things, you are a very smart woman.

    I had a commenter on my blog point out that rape is not necessarily about sex but more about having power over their victim, it is sad that the powerful take advantage of the weak.

    Respect as you pointed out is a big problem, no one seems to respect each other anymore, and the men who respect women will protect them rather than abuse them, teaching our children to respect themselves and each other will help raise a generation that respects women.

    Excellent post my friend, you have some great ideas.

  13. Mostly male.
    But also female (Demi Moore).
    I have to confess I'm getting kind of suspicious with all these situations.
    For many years there was nothing but silence.
    All of a sudden everyone is or was a sexual predator?
    Smells like $$$, lots of $$$

  14. great blog.thanks for sharing it.

  15. Wonderfully written, Baili. A subject that grows worse as time goes on. It is a sign of end times along with plagues, famines, earthquakes, violent weather, etc. The magnitude of all these things are killing our earth.

  16. This is a very important topic and beautifully written. Men can behave better if they are raised to, if they are held accountable and if our culture expects them to. The first step begins at home, of course. Parents have a huge influence on their children.

  17. Baili my dear, this is a very disturbing post, but very important. In the age of women's liberation, I also believe that we are still living in a male-dominated society in every respect. But not just that they have the highest salaries etc...many men still are very misogynistic. I see it daily. Sorry to men in general, I'm not bashing because I'm sure many women are horrific as well. I'm speaking out of my own experience living where I live. I remember going to an Italian restaurant once with Alex. In Montreal, a very metropolis supposedly advanced-thinking city. The host was an old Italian guy. Completely ignored me, only talked to Alex and gave Alex the menu first, when I wanted to order, he ignored me and said "What will it be sir?"...Alex said, "my girlfriend and I have changed our minds." and we left. Alex always puts me first, and for that I'm grateful, but I find he is the minority. I agree with Martha that they need to learn to be good people and it starts with their upbringing.

  18. Oh...and my dogs aren't offended ;)

  19. Dear Baili, I'm so sorry about the girl who was being abused by father-in-law, that's terrible. She was just newly married, and that should have been a happy time for her. She came to you, and it sounds like you helped her in many ways. I'm glad she is living peacefully in another house. Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts today, dear one.


  20. Attitudes and behaviours need to change.
    It is a terrible time we all now live in. So sad.
    Sending love to you dear Baili x

  21. What a powerful post you have given us dear Baili
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us here

    All the best Jan

  22. This is such a sad thing, Baili. Women and children are always living in fear. I pray for the men of this world who need to be enlightened and for all the victims of their predatory behavior. I don't think there is any woman on earth who has not been subjected to being harassed and worse. You are right that Mothers must educate their sons. But Fathers must set a good example for how to be an honorable man. Hopefully, shining a bright light on these behaviors will heal this broken world. Hugs xo Karen

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  25. I found this post really interesting, dearest Baili. And, yes, I too have suffered this kind of harassment quite a few times in my life.
    However, there does also appear to be a trend now for some females to "jump on the bandwagon" and use the term "abuse" in order to have revenge on a man for any slight reason (or, indeed, to obtain money)...and that is bad news for all those women who are genuine victims of real abuse...in that they are no longer taken so seriously. (Coincidentally, I have just posted this very subject on my blog!)
    Yes, this is such a difficult subject...and attitudes need to change really urgently...if we are ever to have genuine equality between the sexes.

    A brilliant and insightful post, my dear Friend!
    Thank you so much.:))

    Big Hugs xoxoxo

  26. this has been going on since the beginning of time. unfortunately for me, i know the problem intimately. i am always baffled why men feel superior to women...why there is so much abuse. it's not new, it is not about money....

    when a woman is abused, she is embarrassed, withdrawn and feels like no one will believe her. when others come forward, she is empowered by their bravery and feels like she has the strength in numbers to do what she has never been able to do for years!!

    it stays with you for life and you are never really the same!!!

  27. Hi Baili! Thank you so much for your visit and leaving me such a lovely comment! I'm glad you stopped by because now I have found you. You have an amazing blog where I can learn about you and your culture; and you're so positive!!! I'm happy to know you have a loving and wonderful husband who loves you and respects. Have a wonderful day!

  28. You tell it like it is sister! You are right on! I had wonderful Uncles and men in my family that were respectful and there was equality in their marriages and in their community. But when I went out in the world I discovered they were in the minority! I have always said it is the elephant in the room.....men do most crimes, murders, wars, etc. so if 50% of the population is to blame then they should be made to clean up their messes. I have 3 sons and I raised them to respect women and I taught them to clean, sew, iron etc. so they would not have to depend on anyone else but also so my daughter-in-laws would like me! LOL! In my career I was a systems programmer but I was harassed and not allowed to do the job they hired me for as I worked with all men. I learned education has nothing to do with how they behave! They were terrible and I loved my work but they took the joy out of everything I had worked for. Anyway, I have been through the mill in my life with men and I loved my uncles but I haven't met men like that since. I am a strong woman but if you speak out you are a 'man hater' or a 'lesbian' of which I am neither but if I was there would be nothing wrong with that either as this is supposedly a free country. This is coming out now in Hollywood and politics but it has gone on for years especially with women who work outside the home or are professionals. I live alone now and I am retired and I am extremely happy but even the male neighbors here harass me. But I speak up and out and I will never allow myself to be bullied. I have more guts than brains! LOL! In the U.S. they think they are 'free' and the best country but there are other countries like Iceland for one that are truly equal and respectful and I'm sure there are others. I was born here in the U.S. but I am not proud of my country any more. Our 'leaders' are of low morals and values and an embarrassment to us. Thank you for this post as I have few women friends as they think I am 'too liberal' and outspoken....LOL! I am proud to know you and glad to hear a woman speak her mind and not try and sugar coat things to be 'popular' or a peace maker. In my mind, peace at any price is not peace! You go girl!

  29. Some men do behave like dogs but not all. And it is true that women are being ill-treated everywhere. But there are many men out there who are heroes and fight for what is right and they are protectors of their womenfolks.

  30. What a powerful post!! Thank you!!! Big Hugs!

  31. Not all man are abusive. Many protects their woman. Guess it depends on the up bringing of a family.

  32. Very well said! I've also been thinking quite a lot about this.

  33. this has all been in the news as you know, it really amazes me some of the men that are charged with these acts, ones you would never believe, I am blessed with a husband that respects woman, we had a daughter so I don't know what it is like raising a boy but I know it is a great thing when a mother and father can get it through their sons head not to treat women like a piece of meat to do with what they please, hopefully all this talk will get it through their minds that treating women like this can not go on any further, I am so glad you were able to talk your neighbor into speaking to her husband and that he helped her out of that situation.

  34. Dear Baili – This is a powerful post about deep, serious social problem. Each country is dominated by men more or less. In my country, the number of women in the decision-making position is low all among the developed countries, though there are so many respectful, kind-hearted men. It’s about upbringing. Older generation can’t change their mentality but young people who were taught about equality between men and women can share childrearing and help around the house. (It is said that a man who changes diapers will change the world.) As to the abusive men, it’s also family environment. Abused boys grow into abusive husbands. Another reason is that society hasn’t punished enough the sexual harassment. At last recently, people understand sexual molestation is a CRIME.


  35. I think it is utterly disgusting how some men treat women... not all men as some men have been raised properly... but some of them make me so sick, I want to say who the heck do they they think they are. I married a Russian man who was raised to think women had no choice... he learned a hard lesson with me... It is despicable how some people think the way they think...

    If I had had a son, I would have taught him to love and respect women... I raised my daughters to respect themselves and to tell the truth of how someone might treat them improperly, I will believe them and stand up for them ... xox


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