Hello Dear friends .
Hope and pray that all of you are enjoying a pain free life with gratitude and humbleness.
When i was 16 i got my first period and from the
same day the misery related to my dozen (okay, exaggeration sorry ) kinds of diseases started appear .The
day i got my first period i felt extreme pain in lower part of my tummy ,dizziness which made me fell on ground ,my head hit an iron rod and i went insane .
My mom became really concerned and worried .Women of my small cute village tried to help her by diagnosing my disease and advising the cure according to their knowledge
.Some said "your daughter is under exorcism " and some said "somebody is trying to peal your daughter with necromancy" blha blha .....
Mom was not believer of any of this so took me to the doctor near in capital city Islamabad where in army hospital they took sample of my bone marrow and other many tests .
They told that i need immediate blood but mom was too afraid to purchase the blood as she would think it could be unhealthy somehow , so i was admitted in
hospital for more than month , according to doctors my blood was very thin ,i was enamic dangerously .normal range of RED blood cells in blood is 14 and i was around 6 then.
Mom bought five bottles of some kind of fluid on doc's
advise which was replacement of blood . After drips i was little better .Later i was discharged but medicine
were and tests remained in progress . According to the hospital system finally i reached to the head surgeon
who told me the details of my coming sufferings and treatments . He said your stomach is decaying so it will be needing surgery when your blood will improve red cells .
He also included that certain medicines will go for
whole life as supporting vitamins etc .He said your weak defence and digestive system need to be strong
by medic help. He said gradually your joints will be taking affect of this before time . My red blood cells reported in range 9% in last test they took.
It was youth and after recovering i gave dam to each advise of doctor .Even left the medicines .In my 20 when my husband asked his mom that he wants to marry me his mom refused loud and clear as she knew i was not a healthy girl and her assumptions about my future as wife to his son were very negative .
One of my hubby's brother's wife told me that my husband had arguments on the issue and at certain point hubby said that he will leave the house if she won't accept me.
After marriage i took the whole responsibility of joint family of 8 people on my shoulders happily .
But mother in law was "mission Impossible" i heard from my mom that "love and patience can win the
each heart at end of the day " But it works for normal people and my mother in law had little weird mentality .
Everyone in my in laws became friendly gradually except MOTHER IN LAW AND HER ELDEST SON.
Due to being anemic i was less patient honestly and could not remain silent when things turned more
than hard for me, i will give only one example to make it short, further use your imagination ' Single kitchen in
the house was kept locked when it was my turn to cook food for hubby and me .She had total control over the
family members so no one could raised voice for her cruelties or they were hypocritic with me . once when
hubby was out of city for month i was compelled to drink water from tank where water was stored to
washing etc because my mother in law was not allowing me taking water from tap , though i boiled it before use but fell ill seriously ,there were no mobiles
in home then .Luckily hubby was informed by his friend's mom who visited me coincidentally and told his son. He came immediately and i was hospitalized for week . Blood motions were caused with high fever .
Numerous such things which made me suffer terribly and sometimes it raised fights between me and hubby (for which i am embarrassed till now as it was not his fault but my anger needed an exit point to make me feel released from stress ).
When i had my first child things got worse .( i can write a book on this part of my life )
Even when he was hardly 3 i departed him and sent him with my mom to Islamabad to stay with them just for his healthy upbringing .But this decision was childish as i started to be dipped in tears all the time .Hubby was very supportive in my each step but i could not realise how to survive until we be able to buy plot and built separate home for us .My down health ,anxiety and crying all the time made our small world horrible and within month my father brought my eldest son back to me .
Meanwhile my stomach pain increased but no doctor diagnosed the actual disease .It was recognized by doctor when it had increased to dangerous point , He told that ultra sound report reveals that my stomach is internally bleeding for 14 years and is quite in damage position .we were in new home then and house loan was being paid .Yet hubby made it possible to get all the tests ,treatments and medicines which mostly last for almost 3 years as course and minorly till today .
Two days back i finally went to the doctor for joints pain treatment . Few years back he told me that i need to take my joints pain seriously and i took but medicines made me so sleepy and dizzy all the time so i took hardly for week and then quit .
But now since two days i am feeling again so helpless and idle as medicines have caught my head sternly still this is not the point any more that i can quit them .
No i have to bear them doctor said within 1 or 2 weeks my body will be get used to them and i will be better in my physical activities and mental attentiveness .
Dear friends today i shared some of my hardships with you but believe me that all the tough times that came to me were a "push" towards betterment and it is biggest truth of my life that without them may be the bonding between us as couple could never have been as deep and strong as it is today. we would have not moved from there and i could have not sort out that how i can save my future family from such darkness and ignorance .
"I reacted angrily when i thought "why they are doing this "?
"I smiled patiently because then i understood why are they doing this "!
My optimistic way of thinking who is most precious gift was alien to them. they just breath they don't know unfortunately how to beautify these breathing moments to make them eternal!
leaving you some glimpse of my life ,
(september 2017)
Love you my precious fellows ,please take good care and stay unshaken with strength of faith!
God Bless you all!!!
What a story - I wish you all the best,Joan
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for nice words dear Joan!
DeleteYou are an example of getting by with trust and faith.
ReplyDeleteThank you dear Annie!
Deletei think it is all because God kept holding me all the time!
So sorry to hear about your health issues and how they have caused you pain. It is heartening that you remain optimistic. I turned 50 this year. Though I am more or less healthy some serious issues have begun to pop up with me over the past ten years. It is a sobering thought to think about health issues and how they will only become more more frequent and more serious over time. Your optimistic outlook is the best way to go despite difficulties. I wish you the best of health going forward!
ReplyDeleteHappy 50th birthday Brain!!!
DeleteHealth problems rise with age though i got them little before the time and may it is due to being extra sensitive .
Positive that comes from it that i learnt lot and these learning from mistakes made me enough mature to straighten my directions ahead.
I hope and pray that your health issue may resolve soon and you feel better enough to share more and more insightful reviews of books on your wonderful blog!
Yes i agree my optimism is "only" weapon to defeat all the hardships that attacked me , i find it a magic vande which makes impossible "possible"
I love that you have found peace through trouble. Thank you for sharing your story with me.
ReplyDeleteThank you dear Linda!
DeleteI have LOT to share ,
Main reason of WHY I SHARE THIS is that i want to show that sticking with your positive energy and faith turns all sufferings into blessings for you !
I am sorry that you have had all of the pain and health issues, these types of chronic pain is difficult to deal with by themselves but when you have negative people like your mother in law around you only makes it worse.
ReplyDeleteI am happy that all of this made you a stronger person and did not take away your positive attitude, your husband is a good man and it appears that he has always held your best interests as most important for him, he definitely loves you and you him, the best thing for was when you got your own house.
Your sons are nice looking and healthy young men, and your garden is beautiful, I really like your attitude and love to see that you are happy.
Thank you Jimmy for kind words!
Deleteyes negative energy around one effects the health negatively most of the times but believe me if you do not let shaken your faith all turns into positive miraculously ,
During all the sufferings i realized an invisible support to my soul which healed the external wounds soon after they occurred .
By the Grace of my Creator yes i survived through all these tough times with success and came out from dark clouds of suffering with more positive strength!
My husband and my kids are precious Miracle of my life ,
I am OVERWHELMED by the deep sense of gratitude for all the blessings of God upon my life!
You look truly beautiful in your garden!
ReplyDeleteWishing you good health.
Have a wonderful weekend
Oh dear ,all this beauty holds your precious eye!
DeleteYou must really be a very strong person to have survived so well and living a normal sounding life, when actually there was internal bleeding for all those years. I am afraid I think your mother in law sounds very hard to deal with. But perhaps if she had not been so bad you would still be living there, and it is much better to have a home of your own. How is your oldest son getting on by the way?
ReplyDeleteThank you so much dear Jenny!
DeleteYes it was hard indeed life with internal bleedings and terrible pain attacks all those years but i don't know how miraculously my Creator kept me composed and unshaken.
My mother in law was an orphan who brought up by her uncle and aunt under cruel ignorant circumstances which i heard from the elder brother of my father in law when was alive .
So soon i realized that may be her painful past was reason behind her sick behaviors .
She was same as Horrible to her own unmarried daughter as with her daughters in laws .
when we moved from that house i never broke up with her because i knew that she was mother of my dear life partner and deserve our love and respect .
i in my heart could not forgive or respect her but i treated her respectfully each time we meet .
I still send her dinner 9can't send breakfast or lunch because kids and hubby have to rush to their school and office) and visit her occasionally.
My husband visit her on weekends too and take care of all her needs related to food and medicines though she lives separate and has four other sons too.
Yes each hardship pushed my life towards good and made my belief stronger that " everything happens for the good"
Thank you for asking about my eldest son !
By the grace of God he is totally fine and happy in Munich Germany .Enjoying his studies and slight exploring of the surroundings too.
He wants to visit other parts of Europe when vacations will come.
I am sorry to read and learn about your health issues, but you are such an optimistic person and your strength of faith is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteI thought your family pictures lovely to see and what a gorgeous smile you have.
Have a blessed weekend
All the best Jan
Thank you Jan!
Deletefor your kind generous response ,i am glad you liked my post and photos!
yes Since beginning i have this optimistic attitude which makes me a happy person with exciting spirit but bad side effects it has that many people don't understand it is my natural instinct ,they think i am just pretending it .
a wise heart can realize that no pretending can last forever if one does not posses it as nature
It is an example of why we should not judge another person because we never know what kind of life they have led. So many things lie hidden from those around us. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteYou are right dear Carol !
Deleteevery one has " lot" which made him what he is today
Your inner strength has taken you far. I am sorry that your health is causing problems for you. I have a medication I have been taking for more than 50 years. It made me so sleepy when I began to take it. It took a while before my body adjusted. I hope I am not out of line by saying that your mother-in-law looks very unhappy. Her eyes have no dance in them.
ReplyDeleteThank you dear Emma!
Deletei am grateful to the dear God who always was and is there whenever i call him to hold me!
hope and pray that may you feel better my friend, i saw rare people very rare actually who are not on medication after 40 here !
will you believe that my mother in law takes only one medicine to keep her health fine and this is keeping cold or warm fights on during the day ,i think if she will not do this she will die lol
Thank you for sharing your life, your pains and your conquest over hardships. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteThank you Munir!
Deletei could do this because my Creator was with me each step ,alone i was not able to survive even one step my friend!
best wishes for you too
Sorry about your health issues and your mother-in-law sounds so evil. Glad you are out of her house and in your beautiful garden to find some peace.
ReplyDeleteThank you dear Christine !
Deletei am on medicines since more then 9 15 years i think and still it is working for me but along with medicine mostly works the positive attitude i think.
Sadly she is indeed ,more than her dark past her own negative attitude made her such tough person who cannot live with peace and try to spoil other's too.
though this way she cannot stop anyone from being happy but only lessens her respect as mother and mother in law
Oh my, baili - you have had serious health issues and a real hard time. I'm glad things worked out better as time went by. Your husband is a good man and like you said, obstacles often help us bond with our partners where easy times would not. I hope you adjust to your medication soon and it helps your pain. Your pictures of your young boys always make me smile because they look like mischievous boys the world over :) Hope your son is doing well. Beautiful photos, all!
ReplyDeleteThank you dear Jenny!
Deletehope your pain if gone my friend!
Yes i suffered with in law's negative behaviors and though after since 12 years we moved here we still are in touch an visiting each other though deep in heart i can;t forgive them but i pity on them for their sick mentality .
i was humble and good to them as i was brought that way by my parents ,they spoiled a nice relationship just because of their ignorance i will say this was their bad luck .
all matter to me is their worst behavior caused problems between me and husband which were timely thank God and love between us grew stronger after when we realized our fault specially me.
Yes my both youngers are so naughty and specially the younger one is soul to my house ,he put life in silent walls when get back from school and lots of teasing between bros goes on until i make them sit for studies for 3 or 4 hours till evening
That sound very bad. You sure have patience with this MIL.
ReplyDeleteYes my friend! and patience comes with wisdom or strong faith you know!
DeleteYour son's have a very strong and wise mother in you, thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteSuch lovely photos. Take care, my friend! ♥
ReplyDeleteHave a beautiful weekend! Big hugs!
So...did kindness win in the end? :-)
ReplyDeleteYou have gone trough a lot. So glad that everything is all right now
ReplyDeleteBaili you are so inspirational to me. :) You've had so many challenges in life but look at that beautiful smile you have in that photo. I'm not so good, I really would not have put up with treatment like that from an in-law. But you know, anxiety is debilitating...all that stress you were dealing with likely made your physical body more weak, and that makes your mental health weak too. I think you've done so well for yourself. Your hero's hat is fabulous!! :) I hope you get used to the meds soon. I'm having pains more an more now that I'm getting older, not happy about that, but I'm trying the natural route first. If I have to, I'll see a doctor, but I hope I don't have to!
ReplyDeleteDear Rain either i find you very inspirational personality as i see how you invest your energies in positive way to keep yourself busy and healthy physically and mentally.
DeleteLife has its all colours for us to face and learn to grow more strong.
In the world of today rare people are stress free my friend so i strongly believe that soon you will find way out of this enxiety as NOTHING LAST FOREVER!
and i know you know that better than me .
My best wishes for all you future dreams my friend, may they be come true soon for you, amen!
Oh, Baili, I'm so sorry for your health issues and the problems you've had with your mother-in-law. No matter how hard you try, some people cannot be reached. With all that anger and bitterness, your mother-in-law sounds like a very unhappy person. It is so much easier to go through life happy and with an open heart. You have your own beautiful family and that is the greatest thing of all.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about people 's nature dear Martha!
DeleteI think in world they are only a few who change themselves, usually they grew more in thier natural instincts and traits .
Yes i choose easy way of life my friend and it is LIVE AND LET LIVE as simple as that.
I think if i have peace of mind it is the gift of my Creator who gave to me through POSITIVE ATTITUDE
I, too, have a lot of illnesses, so it is good to read your story & know that I am not alone. So sorry that you have been so ill. Maybe one day your mother-in -law's heart will soften toward you & she will express her love to you. You are beautiful! God bless you.
ReplyDeleteOf course you are not alone my friend!
Deletetoday most of people are suffering with health issues and most of the time it is not their fault .
it is gred of businessmen which make and supply poor quality of food ,unhealthy seeds ,horrible chemicals shower over growing crops and vegetables and many more reasons behind the poor health conditions of modern world
our ill health must be draining. I am glad you have found happiness despite all your troubles.
ReplyDeleteThank you ,it is miracle of my life my friend!
DeletePleasing to read your husband stood up to his mother.
ReplyDeleteSome mother in laws are not good ones, I had one of the best when she was alive.
You were so lucky to have a kind mother in law my friend!
DeleteMy older daughter (almost 20) still sufers a lot when she gets her period.
ReplyDeleteIt's painfull just to see.
Have a great weekend
Dear Baili, as one who (at 67) had no health problems until 12 years ago, I am astonished at the strength of those who suffered in younger years and were able to proceed in the work life entails. I learn from them. I learn from you. Your generous spirit is conspicuous in your blog and comments to my blogs. To you and your family, I send my compliments and admiration.
ReplyDeleteLamento imenso os seus problemas de saúde. Mas você é uma pessoa com uma grande força interior, não é? Tudo vai ser superado...
ReplyDeleteUma boa semana.
Um beijo.
Dear Baili, first I want to thank you for your very kind comments on our blog. They are always much appreciated. This post was very disturbing to read how you suffered and then were made to feel sad by the actions of some family members. You husband is indeed a hero for standing up to his faily and by your side. Thanks for sharing your family photos as well.
ReplyDeleteMy goodness Baili, you certainly have had some major health issues... that's scary... it's too bad your mother in law couldn't have been sweeter... oh well, hopefully she has learned from her bad behavior xox
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear of all your sufferings, dear Baili, but I am glad to know that you are now in your happy place with a beautiful, loving family of your own. It is sad that your Mother-in-law could not open her heart to you and see your sweet spirit. We cannot control how others treat us. My Father-in-law treated me the same and my dear husband moved us far, far away to raise our family without his cruel influence. We are so blessed to have such loving husbands who put our needs first. I will pray for your health, dear friend, and pray that you will see your son soon. Hugs and blessings xo Karen
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about your health issues! You are a strong beautiful woman, with such a beautiful spirit! Your outlook on life is wonderful! You are a special lady! Big Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you have been blessed with a wonderful husband and three amazing sons, Baili! You have come through so much, more emotionally than physically. I can't even imagine! You've shown that it is possible to rise above hardships that would defeat many others. I love your strong spirit! And I love the wonderful photos of your sons, your husband, and you, beautiful lady!
ReplyDeleteYou have my sympathy! I understand only too well about internal bleeding and about how exhausted you feel when you are anemic. I have been hospitalized eight times for internal bleeding and have had multiple blood transfusions. There are numerous times I haven't gone to the hospital when I am bleeding because there isn't much the doctors can do for me. Often times if I lie still the bleeding will stop, and that's way better than going through awful, fruitless tests over and over.
My doctor insists that I take a medication that I'm not fond of. He royally chewed me out when he found out I had stopped taking it recently. I've come off it several times, and the last time he was very unhappy with me. So now I'm following his orders! I hope that your body adjusts your new medication, and that you feel better. Hang in there! I will say special prayers for you tonight, my dear friend! Sending you a big hug!
its sad to know about your health problem... May god bless you with good health and happy life always...
ReplyDeleteMy goodness, Baili, you have really been through so much! It is so difficult to deal with such a terrible disease, and yet you have showed that having faith in the Lord has kept you through all the terrible things that have happened along the way, and the Lord gave you such a kind, loving and precious husband, what a wonderful God we serve! He knew you needed such a strong man to be there for you, and through all that you have been through, it has increased and strengthened your faith in Him. I am sorry that you are still having these struggles, and I will keep you in my prayers that either through the healing hand of the Lord or the knowledge of modern medicine that your health concerns will be eased. Much love to you today dear friend!
ReplyDeletepeople who have good health often don't realize what a gift it is. i am sorry you have been through so much, but happy to read that you have a hero. i have one too!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh my you had such a hard beginning to your marriage and your health, oh my how scary all that must have been for you, but even with all that you have been blessed with wonderful sons, and a wonderful husband that took you from all that stress. I hope that your health continues to get stronger and better.
ReplyDelete