Saturday, October 7, 2017

Eyesight Problem Caused By Flaws and Argument With Doctor

   It   sounds   that   man   from   it's   very   first   breath   starts   facing   various   problems. In   the   age   when   he    does  not  even  know  what   does  word  problem  spelt  or  what  is  the  meaning  of  it  .

And  he  does  not   even  care  about  it .  He   only   knows   his  very   first   problem   which  is  obviously  "hunger"  and  all   he  does  to  solve  it  unconsciously "crying "   as  loudly   as  possible .

As   times   passes    and  he   gets   older   problem   surround   him   from  all  side  he  has  as  they   were  desperately  waiting  for  him  to   put   him   on   looong   path   of   struggle   which    ends   with   his  last   breath  in  this   world.

Some   people   like   creating    even  extra  MORE   problems    to  satisfy   their  instinct  to    keep  themselves    busy   in  solving   them .

 Other    do  it   unconsciously   while   resolving   the   earlier   ones! 

 Youth   is   age   when   man   thinks   that   he  best   on   this  whole  planet   in   wisdom   and  

 making   decisions  .He   hardly   care   about  the  advise  of   his   elders    (oh  poor  thing later knows  that  how  disastrous  was  that  harmonical  changing era! )

 I  too   was   not   outstanding    kid  that  obeys   each   single   order   of  his  parents.  Though  i  

was   most  loved  by   mom    as  unlike   other   girls   i  was  of    less   GIRLISH   attitude . And  

 that   was  praised  by  all   my   relatives  and  family  because   having   girl   who    do    not  pay  

attention  to   boys  and  not  put   any   effort   to   be   center  of  their  attention   was   huge  

 satisfaction   for  my  mom   as  being   from   middle   class   the  most   precious  thing   was  

"HONOUR"  of  the  family   which   was  and  (lesser)  but  is   related  to   the  ladies  of  any  family  then.

I   Had   three   flaws   Listening  Radio   even  while  doing  homework .

Second   flaw   was  Watching  t.v when  whole  family  was  slept  before  pm  night   i   used  to  

 pretend   sleeping   till  mom's   slight   snoring  made  me  sure  that  she  was  sleeping  soundly .  I  
 used  to  get  up   and  walk   on  my  tip   toes  to   the  room  where  the  t.v  was  placed   .

I  hold  my   breath  and  lit  small  torch  instead  of  light  ,on   the  switch   of  t.v  and  watch  the  

english   movies  or  dramas  that   came  late  night   so  children  could  not  see  them  although  all  the  sensuous  scenes   were  censored .

I  watched  all   such   programs  while  standing  and  more  than  watching  i    always  tried  to  

LISTEN  it  carefully  and  to  do  so  i  had  to  keep   my  ear  close   to  the  speaker   part  of  the  t.v.  and  each  time   i  finished   watching  i  felt    i   crossed   the  thread   bridge  because   of  my  fear   for  mom's  awakening   .

Third  flaw  was  READING   nonstop .Once   i  get  in   my  hand   i  could   not  take  break    until   i  finished   the  novel,   digests    and  magazines   .

Worse   about   it  was  that   i   mostly  read   while  laying   down  . So  many   times   mom  asked  

me   to   sit   straight   while  you   read  otherwise  you   will   your   eyesight   soon .I  never  

 took  notice   of   her   advise   . May   be  like  other   teenage   i  thought   that   she  is  just  

primary   school   passed   not  a   doctor   I  obeyed   instantly   front  of  her  but  laid   again   when  she  got  off  sight .

Even  after  marriage  i  continued   this  bad   habit .

For   health   my   attention   and   concerns  were  ZERO   so   i  did  not  pay  attention  when  until  

i  started  feel   terrible  headache  whenever  i  try   to   read .In  2006   i   went  for   checkup . They  

 took  tests  through   various  machinery  and  declared  that  my  eyes  are  okay  and  problem  is  just   due   to  the  mental   weakness .  

They   did  not  give  any  medicine ,drops  or   even  not   suggested   any  glasses. It  was  annoying  but  hubby  said   that  we  have  to  follow   the  doctor's  advice .

Later  on  my  insistence   after   few   months   he   took  me  to  the   eye   glasses   shop  and  i  bought  which  i  felt  fine. Within   9   years   number  of  glasses  increased  only  once .

But  lately  when   i   felt   that   when  i   look  at  the  sky   specially  or  around  in  open  areas   i  feel   some  DOTS  moving  along   my  sight . 

It  was  threatening  because  dots  seemed  to  grow    little  bigger  and  more  in  quantity . Two   days  back    Hubby  took   me   to  the  finest    eye   specialist   in   the   city   who  checked  through  his  all  advance     equipments   and   said   your  number  has   increased .

It   was  annoying  again ,"what  about  dots  on  my   eye"  i  tried  to  hold  my  patience.

he  smiled  and  said  "you   are  worrying  much"  it  was  even  more  annoying  but  i  was  calm  outside .i  said "because  it's  about  my  eyes (  i  can't  bear  dots  between  me  and  sky,,wanted  say shoutingly  but did not  obviously) .

He  said " okay  let  me  tell you  straight  ,this  is  part  of  aging  and  if  you  want  surgery  your  eye  can  be  damaged and you  can  loose  your   eyesight  forever!  "  i  heard  something  collapsed  so  noisily  around   me .

"but  there  must  be  something  to  slow  it  down  at least"  i  hold  the  string  while  drowning.

Same  smile  again  ,don't have  to  mention how annoying . " i can give  you  drops if  you  insist  but  trust  me  it  will  be  only  a  psychological  treatment   only  ,physically  it  won't  make  any  difference  to  you  eye "

"Then  give  me "  i   said  without  wasting  a  second   and  will   you   believe   me   that   within   two  days   i   am  experiencing   difference   . 

I   feel   the  existence  of  things   in  their  quite  absolute  manner  and  hope  thing   get   better   with  constant  use  of  drops  which  i  use  thrice  a   day  according  to  doctor's  prescription.

My   precious   Friends  with   our   first   breath  we   start   our   journey   towards  death  .

We  all  have  same  FINAL   destination .

Only   one  thing  makes  difference  between   us  that  how   we   travel    to   it .What   Choices   we  make  and  HOW  WE   LOOK  AT   THE  LIFE? Positively  or  with  negativity  .

sooner   or  later  journey  has  to  be  ended  .

Good   or   bad  things  will  be  done.

  yet    one  thing  we  must  give  second  to   think  that  "Are  we  leaving   good  memories     behind  us  in  the  heart  of  people   ?

Will   we   be   existed   in  the  good  part   of  their  memories  or   the  painful   part ?

I  don't   know  does   it  matter   for  others   but   for  me   it  does .

As   i   see   and   feel   that   whenever   i  try   to   do  good  with   anyone   it   returns   to  me  sooner  or   later .It    is  only   Creator   who   keeps   all   the   accounts   and   give   results   not  man   to  whom  we  do  good  or  bad .

Take   care  beautiful   souls!

God  Bless  You   All!!!   


  1. Dearest Baili, such an interesting post!
    You and I are so alike...I used to do exactly the same when I was a child...I'd wait until my parents were in bed and asleep, then sneak into the lounge and watch the late night movies!
    I can totally relate to that sense of apprehension that you mention - I always had one ear trained upon the stairs, just in case I heard my mother or father coming down and I would be in big trouble!
    Perhaps that is why my eyesight is far from perfect now too (I have always been an avid reader as well).

    And you are absolutely right, my Friend...the good we do will always return to us, so we must keep trying.
    It is what the world really needs right now.:))

    Much Love & Hugs xoxoxo

  2. Thank you dear Ygraine!

    Childhood and teenage is such exciting age that no berries seem perfect to bound mischievous souls: )

    Hope you are taking precautions for your eyesight weakness my friend!

    You are so true about the actions we do get back to us just like echoes of our voices

  3. I also loved to read a lot as child. (and even today) It was my granny who said that I will loose my sight because too much of reading.

  4. Reading is my refuge from the world problems which fill the air waves! I have always been an avid reader.

  5. Thank you dear Marie and Sussi!

    For me my radio, t.v and books were Windows through which i can peek into the world that was much more bigger than my small village

  6. Wonderful post.

    As I get a little older non - trivial, but so far, manageable health problems have popped up and I have also been thinking about mortality.

    I was also the "reader" in my family as I was growing up. Few of my family members understood.

    1. Aging is quite a problem itself Brain and grow more with age .
      Now i am position to understand that why my parents had take lots of medicines and regular visits to hospital.

      My mom was really wise and caring about her health.

      After my 10th grade my mom had 3 surgeries one after one .she lived til her mid seventies

      She was very loving and understanding in her relationships.
      She supported me in all my madnesses (whetei lived my hobbies called that)

  7. I'm glad those drops are helping and that you insisted on receiving them! Some doctors are so patronizing that it just makes me crazy. I run into one every once in awhile too.

    1. Yes dear Debra they are helping me wonderfully and i am regretting that why i couldn't have them erliar.

      I hope and pray that may you need less to visit doctors my friend!

      Yes some doctor take at as egoistic

  8. Aging...ah...we have to deal with this as best we can, especially after middle age.

  9. Baili, you remind me of Nel as I am reading your post because she has LOVED books since she was a little girl and when it was time to go to bed, she would sometimes sneak under the covers with a flash light and keep reading til the end of the chapter. Yes, aging is not easy sometimes, but with a heart like yours, I think you will do ok.

    Have a pleasant weekend, Baili.


    ps...thank you for the birthday wishes for Jess.

    1. Thank you dear Sheri!

      Either i used to read under my blanket and some time mom realized and yelld that i am enemy of my own eyes .

      I calm her down with loving hug and kisses.

      I loved reading about Jess and her lovely manners of life.
      She is darling!

  10. when I start reading, I can never stop either!


    1. Haha though it is bad habit but once in certain age it was so amusing lol

  11. Dear Baili, thank you for sharing your experience and letting us know you are doing better with your eyesight. Yes, our eyes dry as we age, we do not blink often enough and we get "floaters" which are those little dots and lines that go across our vision. They will be more noticeable when you are looking at something bright like computer screen, or bright sky, and mostly anything with a bright white background. I do hope these are your only concerns because they are harmless, just annoying to us. It is suggested we only read or watch TV or computer 15 minutes at a time then look away and rest the eyes. I wonder if anyone really does this? I know I don't and I should know better. Have a beautiful day.

    1. Dear Carol i am always amazed with your knowledge about specially health issues.

      So glad that you shared some from your treasure my friend!

      I read about the eye moving while being on computer or reading but honestly i forgot to do so often.

      But sometimes when my eyes feel so tired and heavy i move them round for atleast 15 or 30 seconds.

      Wishing you too more blessings dear Carol!

  12. I'm glad to know your eyesight is getting better.

    Greetings from London.

  13. Baili, thank you so much for sharing this. Ageing can be difficult sometimes, but I really like your positive outlook. Love and hugs.

    1. Yes dear Linda!

      Ageing is tough part of life. Physical conditions get poor and defence system get weaker.
      What can slow down the demolishing is only our positive attitude and deep faith in God that HE WILL BE WITH US WHENEVER WE CALL FOR HIM.

      Family closeness is specially helpful in such situations.

  14. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. I respect your campaign for family business but you choose wrong place to advatise

  15. Aging brings some interesting - and sometimes annoying - things with it! I'm glad those drops are helping you. Sometimes we have to push a little to get what we want and need. I was so much like you as a child! I still read a lot, and I do most of it lying down!

    1. You are right Martha.

      Sometimes doctors don't take out concerns seriously and may be things get easier for them as doctor as they deal with them in daily routine but for one who is suffering has to put out his opinion clearly and sometimes little forcefully.

      Oh dear you and me are mature enough to understand that reading while laying is quite harmful.

  16. Reading, I have books beside my bed.
    Ageing, there are no any forces that can turn it around.
    Let's day dreaming. It may help.

  17. I have worn glasses since I was a kid. I don't have bad vision, but I always want it to be the best it can be. I love the visual world and would miss reading terribly.
    I am not a very assertive person, but I will advocate for myself and others when it comes to everyone's health. I am never intimidated by doctors.

    1. Wearing glasses seemes taking extra burden on my head and how amazing that you worn glasses YEARS ago!

      that is really brave for me .

      I too love my eyes most who let me connect to the nature around me so deeply and vastly!

      i feel really bad when i see movies about people who can't see the world they come in and leave without absorbing and reading the visual message of nature .It sounds painful!

      i was in school when i read lesson about Helen Keller and i was Fascinated by her wonderful job for her fellows!

      Ah... with doctors my relation is since i was in school and all of the made me scared of issues i had or have but effect were timely and i did not let them control my nerves

  18. Watching television the way you did as a teenager does not sound very enjoyable. But I bet it was exciting. I'm glad you are getting some help. These maladies we have can be trying. And I agree, how we treat others is very important. Take care my friend.

    1. I had no choice dear Ann!

      as a teenager i could not resist my curiosity for very interesting sounding foreign language and environments and topics of the movies and program that showed .

      Yes it is important how we treat others or even how is our thoughts about them because act follow our thinking and God knows what we have in our minds for others

  19. Reading was also my passion, Baili, and it still is today. I also have to confess to not sitting up as well as I should when I am reading in bed even now. I never can recall sneaking down to watch any TV during my younger days, but I did watch TV shows with my family especially on weekend evenings. I know what you mean about the black dots and like a previous comment, my eye doctor also called these :floaters" and said they could be due to aging. I also know that watching a computer or TV screen non-stop is not only bad for the eyes, but also for other parts of the body like the neck and spine. I'm glad the drops that you insisted on getting have been helpful.

    1. Thank you dear Beatrice!

      you are right the way i used to watch t.v sneakingly was not enjoy able yet the thirst for knowing the western world and specially the fondness of learning this interesting language English was uncontrollably powerful .

      In my country Engilsh movies or dramas related to adult issues were broadcast on late hours of the night and as we were students so were not allowed to keep awake till 11 pm which was in my small village quite time some people used to sleep after dinner at 9 pm .Mom did not want us to be late for school so it was the only way to watch my fav programs

  20. I learned something from my godfather tat I keep follwing until today - I pay to avoid problems.
    Quite the opposite of people that like to create problems for themselves and others.
    Have a great week.

    1. Brilliant Pedro!

      Best way of it to STICK with SIMPLICITY IN LIFESTYLE

  21. I am glad you have finally got good glasses and if the drops help, they must be worthwhile too. As a child I used to read with a torch under my bed covers I guess we pay for these things when we get older!

    1. Thank you dear Fairy!

      Yes i realised in my 47 years of life that NO ACT OF OUR"S STOP FOLLOWING US UNTIL IT TELL US IT"s RESULT

  22. Hi Baili,

    Isn't this everyone's story? Abusing what God gave us and then complaining in old age.
    Hope you are well now.

    1. at certain age like teenage, one can't connect to God with such depth and strength my friend as he can do later when he grows older and gain some wisdom through knowledge and experiences

      i was closer to God though,

      as compare to other fellows of my age, yet i was a kid, facing stormy harmonical changes just like other kids of this age .

      I found God close but still made mistakes like normal kids too

  23. Good that you were adamant about finding a solution, as the eyes are the window to the soul. Wishing you all the very best.

  24. É preciso viver cada dia com esperança. Claro que à medida que o tempo passa vão aparecendo coisas menos boas na nossa saúde. Aprender a viver com elas é o segredo. Que os seus olhos melhorem.
    Uma boa semana.
    Um beijo.

  25. I used to be an avid reader, and then I became a mother. There was no time to read. After my youngest went off to college, I got back into the habit. I could read a large book a day. I have a few medical problems and reading is a problem of comprehension, rather than sight. I haven't read a book in a year or so. I miss it. Yes, aging is not fun, but it is what it is. I have tiny black specks swimming around in my sight like a small swarm of gnats between my eyes and what I look at. My doctor says it's neurological.
    Have a nice evening.

    1. Thank you for sharing your experience my friend !

      I am still starving for reading as being housewife and mom i am still stuck (happily) in lots of responsibilities to cope with.
      Hope when my younger boys reach to the collecollege I will be able to have enough time for favorite hobbies among which reading is on top.

      When in 2006 I went for eye check up doctor said either to me that my eye sight was fine only mental weakness was effecting it but how sad that they didn't suggest the cure

  26. I can relate to you, Baili. When I was reading in my teens, I was always reminded by my parents to turn on light when it was getting dark, but after saying goodnight,I read books in the dim light (a bed-light didn’t reach the book enough) lying on the bed in the shared room with my younger sister. I didn't want to disturb my sleeping sister with bright light. Consequently I’m nearsighted.

    I know the “black floaters (in the shape of dot, thread, insect, etc.)” caused by ageing. I hear near-sighted people experience it relatively earlier in life. When the black dots move as you move eyes, you don’t have to be worried. The symptom is simply effect of ageing. But when you have something black in your eye which doesn’t move, then it could be retinal detachment and must be cured sooner. I experienced floaters, which was annoying for a little while, but while I was forgetting about them, it simply disappeared As a matter of fact, the floaters don’t disappear but as you get used to it, you become unaware of them. So floaters are not dangerous, but sudden increase of floaters can be foreshadowing of something worse like retinal detachment. I try to see a doctor when something unusual happens.

    Our life consists of constant choices and the following consequences. Once in a while, terrible thing happens out of blue as if testing us, and its consequence depends on the attitude how we react to and deal with it. I agree with you. Have happy and healthy days ahead.


    1. Thank you dear Stardust!!!

      Reading your beautiful comment made my heart warm and touchy as the way you mentioned about your way of reading in nights reveals your deep love for your precious sister and in spite of knowing the result you continued reading in dim light!

      Ageing is quite painful in many ways though yet we have to enjoy the blessing with gratitude.
      What made me upset during check up was the careless attitude of doctors both times.

      But I am at peace now that God made me to force doctor instead of leaving it on his decision.

      Conciquently I got drops which are proving quite help.

      God bless you too my friend!

  27. "Mental weakness"... sounds like the doctor wasn't very percipient! :) Fortunately you have had at least a little bit better ones after that. I too am happy to read the drops have already helped you.
    The end of you post made me remember that I read an Albert Einstein quote today: "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." "Living for others" sounds somewhat extreme to me and I prefer the un-sourced variant: "Only a life in the service of others is worth living." We can be in the service of others in very many ways.
    Unfortunately I don't think the good we have done always returns to us... but meanwhile it has already benefited us. :)
    Big hugs! ♥

  28. Aha.... reading non stop. I too could not keep a book down, once I have started.

  29. I am so happy the drops are helping you!!
    I use to sneak downstairs and watch t.v too, when everyone was sleeping! LOL!
    Big Hugs!

  30. I had to smile at the thought of you standing to watch a whole movie, meanwhile listening for your mother! I never did that, but I did read when I wasn't supposed to :)

    I hope your eyes behave from now on!

  31. Hello Baili, this walk must have been magical to you...
    A walk can change so much,for me it is the best way to relax and think.
    Thank you for following,
    Best regards, Ida

  32. I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles with a doctor who didn't want to listen, how painfully often that does happen. I'm glad you persisted and got some eye drops! I suspect the eye drops most likely keep your eyes moist. It may help too to move your eyes away from the object you are looking at to rest your eyes. I saw that one other commenter had mentioned retinal detachment, which is a very serious condition that can start out with floaters in the eyes. I enjoyed hearing about you share so honestly about your childhood. You write so eloquently dear Baili, and always hit issues head on with your thoughts. It is always a joy to read your blog posts. I pray the drops continue to work, and that the floater eye problem goes away! Hugs to you today :)

    1. Thank you dear Marilyn!

      yes this was second time when i had to argue about what i wanted with doctors.

      For now i will have to relay on doctor's opinion who said " it is not a serious thing and you don't have to worry about this" By the grace of God drops are helping little and hopping for more improvement.

      Thank you for kind likening for my writing,

      i say everything straight to the point because i don't know the other way to share my thought according to my husband " i know NOTHING about diplomacy" :)

  33. So pleased that the eye drops are helping.
    Take care

    All the best Jan

  34. Bali, in my youth I was a voracious reader... I always read laying down... oops.... I rarely get to enjoy a good book these days but I'd probably still read laying down. I'm glad to hear the drops are working xox

  35. A walk can change so much,for me it is the best way to relax and think.



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