Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Aadila The Flower Girl (final part)


after  the  doctor  left   i  saw  a   tall  pretty  girl  coming towards me .She had  a  very  inspirational  personality  and  confident  friendly  smile  on  her  face  was  supporting  my  weak  isolated   existence  amazingly .

She  walked  like  she  was  princess  ,as  the  whole  world  will  do  as  she   will  say  to  do .As  she  was   winner   of  hearts  and  no  sadness  ever   touched  her .

She   sat   confidently  on  the  desk   at   side  and  asked  "are  you  okay  ?  
Is  there   something   wrong  sorry  i  am  asking  because  i  saw  you  from  there  as  you  were  arguing  with  doctor  just  left  "

Her   warm  friendly   accent   and  caring  behaviour  encouraged  me  to  tell  her  what  happened.  At  the  end  of  my   talk  i  realised  it   was  hard  for  her  to   hide  her  smile  or  may  be  it  looked  that  smile  was   strong  part  of  her   appearance!


the  photo above is of one of our t.v actress  but she resembles in her features with aadila so much ,specially the attitude.



She   said   that " if  you   come  out  of   your   nest   you  have  to  prepare  for  such  behaviour  from  most  of  men  around".

"you  can  not  finish  it  though  you  can   reduce  it  by  making   your   presence  strong   and   confident "

"The   weak  ,shy   or  low  you  look   men  will   try   to  take  advantage  of  you  because  they  are  made  this  way  ,they  are  totally   wild  when  they  see  women  specially   young  girl  around"

She   told   that   her  mom   is  in  same   ward  at   other  corner  ,she  is  suffering  with  Hepatitis  C  and  is  in  great  pain  as  it  was  late  diagnosed   disease   though   doctors  were  trying  their  best.

Daily   a  very  expensive  injection  was  brought  by  plane   from  Karachi   and  her  body   was  attached to  a  plastic  bag  which  was  to  receive  a  yellow  coloured   fluid    draining  from  her  body .

I   went  with  her  to   see   her  mom  and  i   realized  that  she  was  in  very  serious  condition. I  prayed  for  her  health  in  my  heart  as  i   liked  aadila   and  i  wanted  her  to  be  happy  .She   was  an  ideal   girl .I   found  such  girls  only  in  stories  or  novels.

She   was   truly   a  delight  ,full  of   life .Among  all  the  misery  that  life  was  giving  her  she   was   still  happy   and  energetic . I  was  amazed   with   her   confidence  ,her  dare  and   bravery .

Each   day   she  got  up  before   the  sun  ,now   she   was  my  friend  so   she   took   me  each   day   with  her  from   the   secret  emergency   exit  which  was  not  known   to  other  people  .We   go   out  .She   would  meditate   to   thank  God  for  new   day  ,then  she   would   pluck    flowers   form  the   wide   spread   huge   lawn   of  hospital.

It   would  made  me  terrified   as  it   was  written  all  over  that  plucking  flower  is   forbidden .But  she   would  say "  they   will   fad   away  anyway   .people  outside   who  can  see  them  are   healthy  and  don't  have  time  to  look  at  them"

"can   you  imagine  when  sick   people  laying  inside  on  beds  since  long  will  see  them  around  how  much   nice  they   will  feel " These   flowers  will  give  them    happiness  and  delight "  they  will  evoke  life   in  them"


We   bring  lots   of  flowers  in   ward   and  she  distribute  them  among  all  patients   .I   saw   that  she  was  right  flowers   brought   beauty   and  smile  on  their   faded  faces .


I  met  also   her  elder   sister   who   was  very   stylish  and  confident  girl   .She  was  working   as  manger  in  bank  of  Rawalpindi. She  also  had  a  brother   who   was  also   doing  job  in  private  firm .Their   father   was  died   years  ago   and  their   mother  brought  them  up  with  great    effort  and  hardwork.But  now  she  was  ill  and  her  kids  were  struggling   for  her  life   so  in  this  part  of  life  they   can   give  her  some  joy  and  rest.


I   hardly   spent  two   weeks   with   aadila   but  in  those   few   days   i   learnt   lot   from  her . Though   i   cannot   change  my   outlook  yet   i   learnt   that   you   should  react   when   someone  is   actually a  threat   for  you   otherwise   ignoring   is  best   for   ignorant   acts  of  ignorant   people .

I  learnt   that   anger   shows  that   you  cannot  do   anything  else  except   being  angry . Store  your   anger  as  amount  of  energy   and   turn  this  energy   to   empower   yourself.


I   learnt  that   fear   is  good  ,use  it  as  fence   around   you   but  always   keep   one   exit   open   to   jump   out  of  it   so  you   can   see   what   is   behind  it.

I  learnt   being   sad   is   okay   but   wearing   label  of   it  and   asking   for   sympathy   or  self  pity    is   shameful   thing  to   do   because   by   doing   so   you   show   that   you   are   helpless   and   useless   even   to   face   your  own   problems .

She   always   said   crying  and   complaining  is  only  waste  of   time  .Let's   do   our   best   and  then   except   what   comes  to  us  with   open   heart.


And   she  proved   her   words   when   her  mom   could  not   make   it  and   died   front  of  her  eyes   in  spite  of  all   efforts .

I   was   crying    as  my  own  mom  died   but  aadila   was  calm  though   tears   were  dropping  from  her  eyes  yet   she   was   trying   to   look  after   her   elder   sister  and   brother  who   were   crying   screamingly .Her  face   was   flat  and  emotionless.I   wondered  what  made   her   as   strong   and   mature  ,may   be  the   death   of   one  of  her  parent   when   she  needed   him  badly   or  may   be   the   struggle   and   sufferings  of   her  mother   who   brought   them   up  all   by   herself   in   this   male   dominated   society .


I   could   never   forget   aadila,, her  smiling   face  who   had   power   to   change   people's  life    and  perspective  as  she  changed mine

love  you  all  friends!

please   take  care  stay   positive ,life  is  too   short   and  has  no  description  when  suddenly  it  will  end!

God   bless  you   all!!!

27 comments:

  1. beautifully written and such wise advice.

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  2. Another wonderful post. Sometimes people's outer strength is contagious. Sometimes people that we encounter for short periods of time really make an impact and stay with us.

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  3. Aadila sounds like a wonderful and wise young woman!

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  4. a beautiful story...a smile can change everything!!!

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  5. A lovely friend with a lovely spirit entered your life when you needed her. She helped you open your eyes to the world around you and made you ready to open your heart when you began your family. She strengthened herself by befriending you. She was a remarkable woman.

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  6. That's a very nice story Baili. So glad you met her and learned so much from her!

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  7. Wise things Aadila taught you. Was she a Dr. also?
    I was taught many things when I trained and this helped me greatly, helped me to stay strong and teach others to do so too. It's amazing how strength comes when needed.

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  8. Aadila sounds like a lovely soul. I'm glad you got the chance to meet her!

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  9. A beautiful, wise, friend you made! A friend who taught you so much! I am so sorry for the loss of both your mothers!

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  10. "if you come out of your nest you have to prepare for such behaviour from most of men around"
    I don't accept such statement
    O woman can't do what she wants because men are perverts??
    No, no, no!

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  11. What an inspiring story, Baili! Sometimes in life we are fortunate enough to meet people like Aadila,
    and they leave an indelible mark on us. You learned powerful lessons about anger, fear, and courage. Her picking of flowers shows her compassion, but her observation about healthy people outside the hospital not having time to look at them is insightful and sad. Life is a gift, and it should never be taken for granted. Thank you for this compelling reminder, my friend!

    I have always wondered why some men are gentlemen and others are pigs. I think it comes down to individual choice and lack of accountability for some men's despicable behavior. Fortunately there are many loving, honorable, supportive men in the world, and this gives me hope that things will change for the better. I have experienced sexual harassment many times, but I have overcome it. I think some men are intimidated, even threatened, by strong and confident women. I'm hoping that the "Me Too" movement and other events happening in the US will have an impact on American men behaving badly. Our world has many problems, and women have great potential to help solve its difficult problems. Sending you love and hugs, my friend!

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  12. It is good to have someone to cheer you up and to encourage you.

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  13. What a beautiful person!! I'm glad you were there to learn from her. I think you are probably very much like her but she's right - you can exude that confidence knowing who God made you to be. You are one of God's creations and you deserve basic respect! :)

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  14. How lucky you were to meet aadila and be able to learn these lessons from her. She clearly made a big impact on you, and through sharing these lessons here, you are making an impact on other people. Good advice on all these issues, some of which I think is especially necessary in your country because the culture still favours men. Thank you for a wise and meaningful post, baili.

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  15. How fortunate to meet a peer with such a good outlook at the time.

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  16. Hello, what a lovely lady. It is good to have a positive outlook and thoughts. I am glad she was there to help cheer you up! Enjoy your day!

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  17. She sounds like a wonderful and wise young woman

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  18. You had a very wise friend there, perhaps a guardian Angel. Yes, negative energy has to be harnessed and used wisely, i do believe. My mother used to show me to imagine an invisible barrier around me and my family and home, drawn from the moon, i still do it. It's probably visual meditation but it works :)

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  19. I am glad that you found a kind friend when you needed it most, dear Baili. You must have felt so alone by your sick Mother's bed-side and vulnerable to anyone who wished to take advantage of your vulnerability. Sometimes we have to show our bravery up front so we are not taken advantage of, and it seems you had to do that with the young doctor. Your new friend showed you how to have Grace even when life is difficult. A lovely story of friendship and inspiration. Sending hugs and blessings xo Karen

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  20. For sure, dearest Baili...life is much too short to be anything but positive.
    And how wonderful to know that you have found such a beautiful and kind friend...who has taught you the sad fact that many men will take advantage of a young woman who appears lacking in confidence. Gosh, how I wish someone had taught me this when I was younger...would have saved me from much heartache!
    Yes, such a beautiful story, dear Baili...

    Sending you much Love & Hugs xoxoxo

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  21. Dear Baili - your mentor sounds like a beautiful lady and such a great example. Hope your day is filled with all of God's blessings.

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  22. Aadila sounds like a wonderful person :-)

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  23. I really enjoyed reading this second part of the story and what a friend you met! how very wise. Sad that you both lost your mothers but you had a great friend in her to share your experience with. I will be back in awhile to read the third part. Busy morning here.

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  24. "I learnt that anger shows that you cannot do anything else except being angry ."

    That is so true.

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  25. This is a beautiful, interesting story. I loved the thoughts about anger and fear.

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