Friday, October 20, 2017

The Ideal Personality





     Hello   Precious    Fellows !


 Hope   and  pray   that   everything   that   you   idealized    in   life   ,you  got   it    ,and   hope   that     it   still   did   not   loose   it's   charm    for   you    and   you   still   feel    your    lucky  to  have   it .


When   i   was   in   school   in    5th   grade   ther   held   board   examinations   .I   don't   know  whether   you   know   are   familiar   with    such   examination   system   or   not .In   all   government   schools   until   fifth   grade    yearly   exams    takes  the   school   administration   but  yearly   exams  of    5th ,8th   and   10th   grade   takes   the  provincial  board .All   papers   by    students   get   sealed   and   send   to   other  various  parts  of   the   province  to   other   lecturers and   professors   to  be   checked . Result   comes   in  few   months   though  studies   get   start    already   so   later   if  any   student   is  failed   he  can  be   demote   to  previous   class.


So   when   i   was   in  grade   fifth   ,board   exams     held   in  our   school  .All   students   of  the    other   schools   of   district   came   to   our   school   to   give   exam   according   to   rules    because   our   school   was   till   middle   standard (8th  grade)   then   and   other  primary (till 5th grade ) schools  came   to  give   exam   here  so   inspection   team   can   monitor   them   properly .


Until   fourth   grade   i   was   counted   among   position   holders  ,once  came   first  only  and   then  second  and  third.  Inspite   of  my  horrible   hand   writing   teachers    liked   me   because   i   was   best   in   oral   exams  .Many   times   my   class   teacher   said   if   you  improve   your   hand   writing   you   can   come  first   in  whole  school  .But  i  was   unable   to   do   so   no   mater  how  much  i  was  in  love   with   reading  and  creative  writing  but  my  hand  writing  was  worse  always.

Coming  to   point  when  we   were   sitting  in   rows  and   were   writing   our  papers   i    realized   that   in   row   next   to  me  some   girls    who  were  from  other   school  were   cheating .  i  avoided   it  and  kept   writing  .But    after   some   time  some   other   students  of   our   class   got  up   and  raised   their   hands  to  point   out  that  they   have  to  say  something   one  of   them   nodded  at   me  to  come   along  .  Inspector   teacher   called   them   closer   and    asked  but  we  said  we  want  to  talk   to   our  own   principal  . With   little   hesitation    and   counseling  with   her   colleague  she   let   us    go   to   principal   office  . We   told   to   our   principal   that   we   want   to   boycott   because  the   girls   from  other   school   are   cheating  which  is  injustice  to  us .


Any   way   our   principal   personally  went   to  those   girls   and  took   the  pieces   of  small   papers  and  erased  the  writing  from  their   arms. She  did   not   want   this  to   acknowledged   by   the  inspection   team  so   things   could   get   worse  and  papers    could   be   cancelled .


Later   we   knew   that   girls   who   were   cheating   were   from  our   neighbouring   town .Meanwhile   government  announced  to  make  a  dam  and  that   town  's  land   was  announced  to  be  as  lake  of  that   dam .People   of  that   town  were   asked  to  evacuate    the  place  and  shift   into    town  close  by   where  our   school   was  situated .Therefore  the   school   of  that   town  was  also  merged   into   our   school .


Our   school   grew   in   number   of   students   and   new  classes   were   built    to   adjust   new   students..

Among   new   student   there   was   the   girl   who   never   forgot   that   we   complained   about   hem   during  exams.  She   was   strong   in   her   presence   though   but   there   was  something   weird   which   i   could   not   defin   though  but  i  knew  there  was  something   wrong   in   her   insidious   world .  


When   she   joined  our  class   she   took   me   as   her   rival  and  that  was  weird  because  there  were   few   students  in  class  who  were  far   better  in  studies  and  their   hand  writing  was  also   excellent .I   was  so   lazy   to   think  about  rivalry   thing.  I  took   positions  in  past  effortlessly  i  never   tried  for  it .

I   had   no   concerns   for  my  status  as   student ,i   was   just   enjoying   being  first   girl   student   from  my   village  and  were   taking   part   in  speeches  ,writing  short  comedy  plays  and  playing  badminton    with   class   fellows  .

But   she   seemed    quite    focused   about  me .She   many   times  sat   with  me  and  asked  me   about   my   family   background . I  told  her  that   i  have  father   who   is  watchmaker  in  Rawalpindi    ,a  mother   who   is   house   wife  and  hardly   primary  passed.  I   realized   that   This   knowledge   gave  her  quite   confidence   and   joy  that  my  family  was  not  much  high  in  education .

 Then   she   told   me   about   her   family   background   that   her  father   is  most   highly   educated  man   of   this  area   and   headmaster   of   boys   high   school  .When   she   told  the  name  of  her  father , i   found  it   familiar   as  my  father  many   times  mentioned  that  Mr   Zia   is  most   highly  educated   man   in   towns  around  .He   was   famous   for   his   eloquent   speeches  ,social   work   and  mostly   was  invited  as  chief   guest  in   various   academic   events.

She   told  me   with  pride   and   enthusiasm  that   her   tow  elder   brothers  were  in   medical   college   and  she   will  also   be  a   doctor  as  his   father  want   us  to  be   first   in  the  race  of  education  in   this   town   and   we   are   not   going  to   let  anybody   cross   further .  I   realized   that   unlike   other   normal   girls   she   was   always   sunken   in  studies . Sometimes   she   asked   me   i   never   saw   you   studying  how   did  you  take  position  and  how  do  you  even   pass  in  your   exams .


I  tried   to   mentioned  my   way  of    memorizing  my   lessons   which   she   found  weird  and  inconvenient .She   said   okay  we   choose  this  lesson  and  equal   time   to   study  then   give  the  test  of  it ,let 's  see   which   way   is  perfect. i  found   it  strange  and  specially  giving   my   way  of  study  such  importance   was  totally  strange  ,how  is  this  important  for  anyone .I can't  even   think  about  it (so  lazy).  We   both   sat  in  library   room   front  of  each  other  ,within  45  minutes  i  was  ready  for  test  ,i  told  her ,she  looked  flat . She  asked  15  minutes  more  she  needs . I  agreed  as  from  my   side  there  were  no  concerns  or  objects  at  all  because  i  took  it  as  just  as   usual  . 

We   gave  test   which  took  half  hour  hardly .She  checked   the  tests   front  of  me  and  smiled   over  my  hand   writing  .She   said  "i  have  never  saw  such  bad  handwriting  before". I  felt   embarrassed  yet  asked  what   about  the  answers ?  She   said  ,you  study  at  home  lot  i  think as  your  answers  are  all   correct  which  is  impossible  . I  did  not  tell  her  that   i  never  put  extra  effort  in  studies  ,i  just  do  home  work  which  teachers  give  and  that  is  all........


She   next   day   put   this   issue   front   of   teacher   who  used  to   tech   us   R.K  (religious knowledge). She  asked  teacher  to  give  us  any  random  lesson  which  we  had  not  studied   yet  in  syllabus  yet    and  take  our  test   then   announce  the  result  that  who  is  first . I   found  it  so  boring  and  irritating   but  could  not  say  no  to  my  teacher   who   was   already   mad  at  my  hand  writing .

I   went   home   and  did   my   homework  ,ate lunch   and   got  busy   with  my   t.v  programs   and  helping  mom  in  chores  . I  totally  forgot  about   competition.


  Next   day   we  both  came   to  school   and  in  r.k  period  teacher  asked  us  about   our  preparation ,i  got  nervous  as  i  was  totally   not  ready   for  this .Teacher   said  she   will  take   this   test   period   after  break   (she  borrowed  that  period  from other  teacher)  .I  was  at  peace  that  i  got  break  time  to  look  at  the  lessen  at  least.

Test  was   given  after  the  period  and  result   was  told  .she  got  9  out  of  10   and  i   got  7 .She   did   not  looked  much   happy   though  because  due  to  my  handwriting  she  was accepting   difference  much   more  may  be.

I  was   happy   that   at   least  she  was  little   bit   more   friendly   after  that   and  never   asked  about   such   competition  again. She   said  that  studies     took  lot  effort.  I  study  a  lot  daily  and  near  exams  i  get  so   frustrated   to   get   better   grades   in  exams. 

she  also  said ,
"we  had  same  time  but   you   could  not  prepare  like  me  because  your   parents  cannot   guide   you  in  studies"  ."how  can  they  ?  :They   are  not  enough   educated  themselves" . 

 She  said  My   father   is  my  ideal  and  role   model  for  people  around   he  is   preparing  us  for   better  standard  of  life ,Do   you  you   know   that    environment  of  our  home  is  very   strict  and  divided  in  schedules for  studies  We   study   for  hours  and  our  father  guard  us  for  this  so  we  cannot  waste  our  time .

 For  me  it  sound   quite  crazy .but i was impress  with  her  family  educational  status.

I  told  her  she  is  very   lucky   to  have  such  educated   father   who  pays  such  great   effort  into  his  kids's  studies . I  told  her  my   parents  only  ask  me  as  if  i  have  done  my  homework  or  not   and  nothing  more  about   studies,  though  mom   ask  us  to  study  little  harder  when  exams  are  close. In  short  we  don't  take  this on  our  nerves .

I    realized   that  she  was  victim  of  superiority   complex   though   still  i  was  fan  of   her   father   who  had  dynamic    and  intellectual      personality . I  could   not   tell   her   that   i   never   memorize  lessens  as  she   doe's .

i  cannot  do  it . It  was  not  my  way  at  all  .I  just   hold   lessen  before  my  eyes  and  let  my  imagination   run   to  create  it  as  a  narrative   painting   or  virtual  story   before  me   and    lessen  gets  into  my  head  with  all  it's  details .

After   three  years  when  once  during   the   school  time   our   teachers   sent   me   with   my   another  classmate  and   guard   to  her   home  (which  was  little  far   from  school )  to   collect    some   notes   from  her  . I   was  impressed   to   see  her   well   designed   big  house . We  rang   the  door   bell  .

after   few  minutes   an  old   lady   opened   the  door  who   seemed      servant   as  her  clothes   were   quite   old   ,dirty   and   a   her   face   looked   so   miserable   as   she   was  extremely    unhappy   and   been  in   cruel    circumstances   for   long .To   look   at   her   and   feel   sorry   for   her   was  an  obvious  feeling.


When    we   told   her  that  we  come  to   collect   notes   from  Hina  (not  actual name) she  took  us   to   Hina's   room .Hina   gave  us  notes  after  greetings  and   we   came   back.On   the  way  my   classmate  who  was  with  me   then   told   that   the  old  lady   that   opened  the  door   was   Hina's    mother.

I  was   shocked  because  i  did  not  accept   that   old   lady   as   the  wife   of  Mr  zia (hina's  father)  my   classmate   further   told  me   that   Hina's   mother   was   being   treated  very   ibadly   by   her   family  .Actually   she   was   nice  and  humble   woman  but   not   highly   educated  like  her   husband .

She   was  only  18  when  her  father   fell  ill  and    married  her  to   his  nephew (mr  zia) .Mr  zia  though   kept   silence  before  the  will  of  his  father  but   later   could  not  give  his   wife   her  real   place  and  value   that   she  deserved  in   his  life   and   her  only   fault   was  that   she  was  not  highly   learned   like  him.

Four   children   who   grew   while  seeing  their   mother   get   insulted   from   their  father   behaved  same   instead  of  being  kind   to  her   except   one  eldest   girl  Asiya   who   never   measured   the   respect   and  love   for  her   mother   in  the  scale  of  education.

I   was   listening  and   thinking  that  "why   we  get  education  ?" 

 What   are   those   studies   for   ,if  they   can't   make   us  a  better   human  being  ?"

The   idol   of  Mr   zia's  huge   intellectual   personality   collapsed   suddenly   in    my   imagination.

Later   after   some  years   nature    showed   her   work  .Mr   zia   failed  in  his  each   effort   to  prove   his  family   most  educated  in  area . His   both   sons   who   were  studying medical   fell  ill   mentally    and  remain   insane   for   few   years.  Now  they  own   genral   stores  .Hina's  mother   found   dead   in   on  her    bed  one  day  when  Hina  was  in  collage .She  beard   slight  heart  attack  and  left   the  world  silently .

Hina  i  teacher   now  ,we  are  in  touch   though   but  it  is  from   her   side .i   found  her   and  her  family  so  shallow  and  entangled  in  weird  ignorant   thoughts   while   they   think  themselves  highly  learned .I  still   feel   pain  for  her   mother  and  can't   forget   her   miserable  face  till   today . 


Dear   friends   please  take  great   care.,stay   positive  and  keep  balance   in  life's all  attitudes  and  choices  .


God   Bless   You  ALL!!!




31 comments:

  1. It is a wonderful thing to learn to love the people in our lives just as they are instead of as a reflection of our selves. The ego can be a terrible thing when left unchecked.

    Thank you for sharing your memories and have a wonderful day.

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  2. What an interesting story, we should never think others have such a good life as you never know the true story.

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  3. Dear Baili what a great story you shared. Isn't wonderful God doesn't look on the outside of us but looks at the heart? Take care friend and have a blessed day. Hugs!

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  4. Your story points out that there are some intelligent and cultured people out there who are arrogent and cruel. It is such a sad reality.

    I tend to learn like you do. I am not a memorizer. I also have terrible handwriting!

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  5. I think people who have to brag have something missing in their life. (Unless a person is bragging about their child - that's a natural thing, haha)

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  6. Fascinating and thought provoking post, Baili! I try never to judge people for the way they dress or behave, because you just never know what their life experience has been or is.

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  7. A mistake that many people make is to think that education only comes from books and teachers. Children at play are learning valuable lessons. Spending time outdoors teaches us about our surroundings and if we are lucky plants and animals. Being with our families teaches us how we are to interact with people we are about. Our parents teach us to care for ourselves and others. Schooling is not the only education. Too bad your schoolmate did not have the opportunity to learn some of those things too.

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  8. Thank you for sharing your interesting story with us here Baili.
    Take care and enjoy the weekend ahead.

    All the best Jan

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  9. Sounds like Hina, her mother and siblings lived in an abusive home and suffered because of it. I feel sorry for them.

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  10. No one can be you, except yourself. We need to be true to ourselves.

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  11. What a sad and troubling story. Sounds like there was a lot of abuse in that home. We never know what goes on in someone else's private life.

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  12. You can't judge people by how educated they are, it sounds to me as if your Father was far more educated in life than Hina's father, Your Father values family and Hina's father is a cruel person. They say you never know what goes on behind closed doors.

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  13. There certainly was and is a lesson to be learned from your writings.
    Very interesting.

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  14. Lesson is always a lesson.
    And to be learned.
    Thank you.

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  15. Thank you for sharing this story...so wonderful to meet you..may I consider you a friend..and a kindred spirit...because I found your lovely comment on -Nowhere- You are a fellow traveler ! Blessings T.D

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  16. Powerful story and very well written. We just never know what is around the corner do we?

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  17. Oh that is such a sad story...just goes to show that we can never know what is going on in other people's lives, doesn't it?! Appearances can often be deceptive.
    There is far too much abuse in the world...and I'll never understand why, because love comes far more naturally and makes everyone feel so much better.

    Lots of Love and Hugs xoxoxo

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  18. it's always a joy to visit, dear friend! i do hope you are doing well. :)
    thanks for the post :)))
    have a wonderfully blessed day!

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  19. So sad to think that Hina's mother led such a miserable life right up until her death. Life can be very harsh for many folks.

    There always must be a balance of work and joy to make a person happy. It doesn't sound like Hina and her brothers were allowed to have that balance.

    Thank you for a very absorbing story that should make us all count our blessings.

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  20. Thank you for sharing these memories Baili. I once knew someone who treated her mother very badly, even more so as she got older. Just like Hina I felt very sorry for her. Treating others with kindness and respect is so important, no matter the education or the wealth. I hope your weekend is a very happy one.

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  21. How sad Hina's family was. Her father doesn't sound like a very nice man at all. Education didn't broaden his mind, did it. So sad he deemed it necessary to make all his family feel so inferior. Your family, on the other hand, Baili sounds wonderful. How wonderful they loved you and let you learn your way. I think we all learn in our own way.

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  22. How sad for the mother and children.

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  23. You too. What a sad story. We are all people no matter how educated, or not, that we are.

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  24. My friend Baili, we all know people who are in competition with us. But I think that educated people should not do that. They should have become better people. If not, why do they get educated? Your friend was competitive with you because her father tought her to be like this. Her father is to blame. He was competitive with his wife, too, that's why we was treating to her so bad. Because he wanted to show her that he was in charge, because he was an educated man and she was not. I feel sorry for this woman too. She was not lucky in her life. And what a punishment for your friend's father: two sons mad. Oh this was so bad for his. But God punishes people who treat in a bad way. And this happened to him. I do not feel sorry about him. But I do feel sorry about your friend. She will never be happy if she is in competition with other people. Take care of yourself, my friend. Kisses!

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  25. To be a teacher is a major responsability and a great challenge.
    A teacher can leave a merk in the life of a person.
    Wether it is a good one, or a bad one.
    Have a great week

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  26. Wow, how very sad... I feel for that mother as well. I think it's very sad that some people feel the need to brag to make themselves feel better.. I don't believe in over pressurizing our children... we need to teach our children that they need to work hard at school but that they also need to make time for fun. Otherwise they will be overly stressed xox

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  27. I feel sorry for them! You never truly know another person's life!

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  28. Thank you Baili, for sharing yet another very personal story that teaches so many lessons. I thought of the saying “you reap what you sow” when reading about Hina’s father. The way he treated his family (and others) came back in the sadness thatblater affected them. I too have known many people who brag about themselves.

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  29. The blog are the best that is extremely useful to keep.
    I can share the ideas of the future as this is really what I was looking for.
    I am very comfortable and pleased to come here. Thank you very much!
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