Sunday, November 3, 2019

Letters , Happy ,Sad Memories And A Regret

When  i  was   less than  ten  years,  there  was  no  electricity   or  any  modern way of  communication  in  my  village  except   Letters.

Some  men   of  my  of  my  village   including   my  eldest  brother  were  in  army  and  lived  in  different  cities. Some  were  in  foreign   countries   of  middle  East.

Only  way   to  communicate  was  Letters. Many   aunties   would  come  and  ask  me  to  write   letter  to  their  sons or  husband  behalf  of  them. So  i  would  write  what  they  would tell  me .

 Letters   had  special  place  in  my  life  throughout.I  used  to  write  letters   to  my   brother  and  would  ask  so many  silly  questions  about   army   because  i  was  so  fascinated  by  their  uniform  and  discipline .My   brother   was   hardly    interested   in  my  curiosity   so  my   questions   were    answered sometimes hardly .If  there  was  little  bit  understanding  between  our  relationship   it  was  only  due  to   letters  we  wrote to  each  other .It  existed   until  he  quit  the  army  and  we  stopped  writing  letters.

I  used  to  write  letters   to  my  father  whenever  he  went  away   from  home . He was  man  of  few  words  though  in  his  letters   he   would  share  bit  of  his  thoughts  which  i  missed  in  his  presence  always.

He   would    sent   draft  of  money  separate mostly  by  money order  but  sometimes  he would  put  some  money   within  his  letters . I  remember  how   joy  and  excitement  would  shake  our  heart   when  we   find  notes  of  one  or  two hundred  while  opening  his  letters . I  think   such  joy   is  not  felt  even  husband  gives  whole  salary  in  my hand . My  father   would  write  "buy  something you like with  it " and  we both me  and my  sister  would  feel  whole world in  arms.Such  pleasure  is  undefinable.I  still  have some  of  his  letters  and  read  them  sometimes .  

I   had  horrible handwriting   though  thankfully   it  was  comprehensible   for  all .

My  parents   used   to  visit  my  uncle  which latter  became  my  in laws  once  in  a  year .Sometimes  period  will  extend   due  to  shortage  of  resources   but  meeting   when  was  possible , was  obvious. 

We   would   write   letters  to  each  other  once  in  a  while  such  as  after  each   one  or  two   months. One   of  my  husband's   brother  would  write  behalf  of  my  would  be father in  law   then. My  husband  who  was  just  a  cousin  then  never   took any  interest   in  keep  in  touch   though.He   or  me  we  both  were  totally  unaware  of  relationship  which  destiny  had chosen   for  us  in  future .

Letters    were  very   first  thing   in  my  life  which   connected  to  world  of   my  dreams. I  would   listen  many  radio   shows  fondly   in  which   anchor   would  speak   thoughtful  or  philosophical  metaphor  and  try   to  cheer  up   the  listeners  with   following  songs. I  would  find  them  best  thing  happened  to  me  then. I  loved  Ahasn uncles' program   most . 

His  compassion  and  gravity of  voice  and  inspirational   talk  would  cast  spell  on  senses .He  was  best  in  his  expressions  and  he  seemed   gifted. I  would  write  letter  to  his  program . I  remember  how  mom  hard  it  was  for  mom  to  take  time  and  walk to  post  box   which  was   in  next  town.She   would  do  it   just  for  the  sake  of my  happiness  because  she  knew how  it was  important to me .

I  didn't  know  then  but  i  realized  latter  that  she  was  serene  that  i  was  in  different  but  decent  passion.She  was  content  with  my  fondness for  learning .

Uncle  Ahsan  would  read  my  letters  with  special  title "bari Be" which  means big   lady . He  would  praise  my  words  and  thoughts  and  would  encourage  to  write even  better. 

Islamabad  radio  station   then  had  some  of  the  most  inspiring  personalities  as  anchors .And  i  was  so  fortunate  to  have opportunity  to  get  connected  to  them through letters . They  were   very  basic  and  first  source  for  my  "life  understanding ". Letters   written   to  them  gave  me  light  and  understanding  about  my own  self .They  revealed  what  i  was  as  person   and  how  i  am  different  than  others.

When   it  comes  to   my  marriage   credit again  goes  to  the  letters   that  my   husband   wrote me   for almost  one   year  and  almost  everyday   before  my  marriage .When  i  was  told  about  his  proposal first  by  my  father  i  was  not  in  normal  state  of   mind  i  mean  i  was not  interested  in  getting  married  so i  asked  mom  to  refuse  immediately.

My  husband  wrote  me  his  first  letter  then and  asked   he   want  to  convince  me  and  all  he  want  is  chance  to  do  so.Meanwhile if  i  was  still  disagreed  he  won't  insist. 

So  for  almost  one  year   he  used   to  write  me letter  and almost  everyday. I  would  also  reply   in  formal   way  in  the begging. But   gradually  honesty and  simplicity  in  his  expressions  inspired  me . He  would   send   me   some  of  the  most  beautiful  pieces  of  poetry   along  which  was  Not  in  any  way  romantic   but  insightful  and  deep.I  agree  this  was  most  impressive   weapon .

If   you  will  ask  me  what  is the  regret  in my  life ?  i   will  say  that  i  should  have  not  burn   those  bundles  of  letters !!!

Yes  due  to  misunderstandings  risen  by  totally   rough  and disturbed  environment   by  in  laws  of  course  we  had  issues in  our early  marriage  and  one  stupid  depressed  day   because  of  my  stupid   anger  i  burnt   those  most  precious  letters .They  are  safe  in  my  heart though  yet  my  eyes  long for  them  sometimes,  specially  on  our wedding  anniversary  which  we  never   celebrate .

I think   writing  letter  is  totally  different  sending e mail  or  text  message . It  is  still    so  close to  heart  and most  beautiful  and  touching   way  to  connect  with  our  loved ones!

Blessings to  all of  you  my  precious  friends!!!


  1. Absolutely!! While texts, video messaging and phone calls have their place...there is nothing to rival a good, old fashioned letter, is there?!
    I remember when letters gradually fell out of favour...I would gradually receive less and less replies to my letters until, eventually, none at all.
    Now, I doubt I could even remember how to write a proper letter...and that is really sad...🙁
    Time to make a supreme effort to get back to basics, dearest Baili!
    You have inspired heartfelt thanks!😊😊

    Have a wonderful day!

    Much love and hugs ❤❤❤

  2. A forma de comunicar com os outros mudou totalmente. Também escrevi muitas cartas. Adorava fazê-lo. Mas que escreve cartas agora?
    Uma boa semana.
    Um beijo.

  3. So sorry you burned those letters. Although I threw out my old letters and cards when I was decluttering.

  4. I wish letter writing would return again. On the internet we are very brief. I wrote letters too. When I left home I wrote to my parents once a week.

  5. Letter writing has become somewhat of a lost art for us here, unfortunately.

  6. I still have letters my grandma wrote me many, many years ago. They are a treasure.

    You and your husband should write more letters now! :) You can keep them and one day they will be a treasure too.

  7. I am touched by your post. I used to write a lot of letters too. I am sorry you burned the letters from your husband. They sound so romantic and caring. Hold them tight in your memory.

  8. Years ago I used to exchange letters with people. I agree, in most cases email is different. I have a friend, he and his wife appreciate the old ways. I may send them an old fashioned letter.

  9. There is nothing quite like a hand written letter or note!

  10. Your husband sounds extremely wise and patient, to win over a reluctant bride with his wonderful letters. It is a solid basis for true love!

  11. This post was a special one, Baili, as I have always enjoyed writing and receiving letters and cards with handwritten notes in them. When I was in high school I had many pen pals from all over the world and we would exchange letters and postcards and photos. I visited one pen pal when I traveled to France and another from the Netherlands came to my parents home for dinner when he was in the U.S. A couple of my correspondents were blind and we communicated via cassette tapes (remember those?) Sadly I have not been in contact with any of these former pen pals. This was all in the years before PCs, text and email, and cell phones and postage was much less costly then as well. Today I still send cards and notes to people despite the postage costs because I think everyone likes to get something in the mail that does not require a bill to be paid or advertising to be thrown away. I do write regularly to a friend in England who I met when she and her husband were traveling in the U.S. quite a few years ago. And, I also exchange letters and emails with a fellow blogger who said she would like to exchange letters if anyone was interested in doing so. And, Baili, if you also would like to exchange any letters in the future please let me know by sending a message to the email on my blog and I will reply and if you would like we can exchange our addresses. If not, that's OK too as I can always enjoy your blog writings.

  12. How lovely that your husband courted you with daily letters. I wrote to my grandmother every two weeks and she would reply, she had no phone. I stayed with her in my school holidays and sometimes longer, so missed her terribly when I had to go home, the letters kept us close. She was an artist and would describe the countryside around her little house near the sea the woodland and the Seasons, weather, plants that were growing - I loved those letters. Your post reminded me of how empty I felt for a long time when she died, it took such a long time to adjust to no more letter writing. Writing is becoming a dying art, everyone relies on the internet and emails now, which although very good are not the same.

  13. I don't remember the last letter I wrote.
    Maybe to my godfather many years ago.
    Have a great week

  14. Thank you for the reminder of the importance of letters. I received a lovely letter from an acquaintance about a month ago. Shortly after, she died. The letter was precious to me when I first read it, but even more so now. Thanks to you, I think I will start writing more:)

  15. I sent a lot letters to friends in the past, we loved to sent and received them. The letters, stamps, cute and good smelling letter papers were my treasures :)

    Have a great week, Baili.

  16. My husband and I wrote letters as we waited for our wedding. He was a state away. He kept my letters. Mom kept letters I wrote to her when I was on the other side of the world.

    Now I email. But we send letters to our gr-sons in switzerland. Great post.

  17. Lovely post. I use to love to write and receive letters. Now it's quick messages on the internet, emails and text. So different. But life changes and we change along with it.

  18. Ohhh, how sad that you destroyed those letters! But, practically speaking, nothing is permanent in our lives except maybe the earth itself, and if you have your husband's words and efforts and caring in your heart, that is what really matters.

    My mother kept some of my letters home when I was away at school and working between school years. She also kept my daughter's letters to her from a couple of years ago when that was her gift to her grandmother - a letter a month for a year. She loves to re-read them.

  19. Thank you, dear Baili, for one more thought-provoking and touching post!
    Like at least Sandi writes above, you and your husband should indeed write letters to each other now, and keep those letters for your children. The old letters were special, but more important than the paper and ink is the meaning of those letters and it stays (in your heart) for ever.
    Oh those good old days, when it was easy to buy beautiful paper and envelopes in every shop. Now you don't find them anywhere...
    Hugs and blessings!

  20. Letters are wonderful and I still enjoy writing them and receiving them.
    Alas in these modern times emails and texts seem to be more popular with some …

    All the best Jan

  21. back in 1996-2000, I really craved electric light. at that time, our house was only lit by candlelight. in 2001, my happiness came because electricity was present in our home

  22. Traditional letters are full of magic and love, sadly you can not get that from email. Have a lovely day☺☺

  23. I live in the world where people start texting their massages and let them fly through the air. But I read tonnes electronic letter after that in my working site. Some of that were so sad to read. "Today is my last day working with you folks...or "I am happy know you All, but I have to go for new challenge.."

    I think world is so small now, today you are in yellow continent, after 8 hours later you are being moved to the blue continent. What ever, as a human being we are connected.

  24. You know Baili, I have similar regrets. In our second year together, Alex and I were still getting to know each other and our personalities. One day I was so upset with him that I also burned a letter he wrote to me. I wish I didn't but yes, it's in my heart. Now I keep everything he gives me because I love to look at them. Even when we are having ups and downs, those things remind me that deep down, we are just people, not perfect, but our love for each other is always there and it's just a small set back.

    I love writing letters, though I admit, in this typing-age, my penmanship suffers!

  25. Whenever i come here I realize why I do - your writing of your memories and your life is so interesting and captivating - you're a beautiful soul.

  26. Yes, I remember those days when we used to write letters and have to patiently wait for the replies to reach us. Sometimes, our letters got lost and we were wondering why.

  27. Emailing and texting have spoiled our letter writing. It has also spoiled our handwriting. I taught young children years and years ago and always included handwriting lessons. I don't think they even teach handwriting anymore.

    I don't text, but do email.

  28. It's wonderful that you still like to write letters, Baili. This has become a lost art, and I still love writing letters and receiving notes and letters. You have special memories of your father writing letters to you and putting a little surprise of money in there. I think you would like writing in journals. Here, we have journals, where we write the happenings of the day or just our precious thoughts. : )

    Keep writing, Baili. It really is a special thing to do.


  29. There is something special about sending and receiving letters. It is a long time since I have received a letter through the post.

  30. Definitely, writing letters or even a few words on a card is a lovely way to show someone we've spent time thinking about them... just them.
    I love how your husband wrote to you for a year and gradually won your heart. He was very earnest. You have the fact that he did that still in your memory and Baili and what a beautiful tribute you've made to that fact in the way you've shared it with us.
    My husband and I exchanged letters when he was called up for active duty many years ago. Its how we got to know each other - as you mentioned in regard to letters from your father, things are said in writing that perhaps aren't always shared in person.
    All the best xx

  31. Oh, Baili, my heart is sad that you no longer have your husband's beautiful letters! We all do things we regret in fits of anger or despair. The letters worked their poetical magic though, because he and you did marry. It's wonderful to have a life partner who truly loves you, and the love you and your husband have for each other shines through your posts. Wishing you many more years of happiness together. And yes, there is nothing like a real letter! Sending you love and hugs!


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