Sunday, May 5, 2024

The Good Out Of Bad

 I have written in my post  The odds of cousins  about something sad that had happened to me more than forty five years ago when i was 7 and in first grade, in my first school at neighboring village . That village was bigger than ours,It  had few hundred people but no basic facility of any type except school just itself.

One of my blogger friend Margaret said in her kind comment that she is sure there was something good that came out of bad. Todays post is response to her comment .When i read her words my mind later wandered in past when i had to leave my first school due to such harsh circumstances.

Actually my mother had skipped the better option had put me there only so i could get company of my cousins on the way to school .We had moved  there two years ago and i was totally unfamiliar with surroundings and paths outside our village. 

 That better option was a middle school (from one to eighth grade) in  New Khanpur town also close to our village. New Khanpur was freshly built and largely populated town where all the land lords of our area had lived since long .New Khanpur was built on the place of old khanpur that was bought by government for the purpose to built the dam on Haro river . The town had all the basic facilities for the people including post office ,schools and colleges for boys and girls ,hospital, banks and many others.

Town was linked within and around with finely constructed  roads unlike others in area.The reason behind such perfection was different land lords who were members of provincial and national assemblies.

Girls middle school was finest school in the area . It had some finest teachers as well. Some teachers were ladies belonged to land lords houses because despite they had studied in best institutions of the national or international countries ,they weren't allowed  to do any other job away from home except teaching that was considered modest and solo decent job for girls back then.The school principal was also from such strong background. Other teachers were also from competitive and well educated families which reflected in their personalities fairly .

Students in new khanpur middle girls school were no exception too. Most of the girls belonged to well stablished families such as doctor ,layers ,businessmen and distinctive teachers and principals in the area. Many girls belonged to goldsmiths families who owned a well known gold market in the town. I think only 30percent girls belonged to poor families or lower middle class families like me. 

The first best thing happened to me was that i found myself in totally different environment  than previous school that was relaxing because it had girls only and all the teachrs were females. The first relief was that i was free from toxic company of my cousins while walking to school. It would take ten to fifteen minute to cross the hill top walk and get on road that would straight lead to school in seven to five minutes . That was fresh beginning of beautiful journey and wonderful school time. Therefore those school days will shine sharply in my memory chest always. 

I read there for nine years and i am happy that those were some of the most beautiful years of my teenage life. The friendly supportive environment  added lots of confidence in me in coming years slowly. I was never a bright student in terms of writing but there was no match for me when it would come to tell oral answers of all subjects. I was good in math until primary classes. But my performance dropped from six grade and remained same until i passed my tenth grade somehow. My mother thought to have tutor for me and she had arranged one but i refused to take class second day as he was not comfortable to study with or i thought so. 

This was nice that despite being a common girl from poor family my teachers appreciated justly whenever they found something extra good in me as student. For example when school principal learnt that i could write poetry and short stage shows for school events and farewell parties ,she called me in her office and had little chat about that. Then she encouraged me and asked to keep writing for school . When she was transferred to other school the next principal also showed kindness towards me in quite special way .She was daughter of famous judge of Haripur city that was district back then. She would call me sometimes in her office which was quite big deal for other girls and even for teachers and ask to read what piece of poetry i have written lately. She was first person in my life who said showed such admiration. It was confidence given by her encouragement that i could write letters to my favorite radio show regularly that was anchored by Ahsan uncle .A philosopher and one of most popular radio host those days. Ahsan Uncle 's appreciation for my letters strengthened my spirit and awakened sense of self awareness and huge interest in life's philosophy . 

I had met some really sweet teachers in that school who inspired me in may ways . It was not just study time there .For me it was beginning of learning how to live life actually.

I got few amazing friends there as well. Though most of them aren't in touch but we keep asking for each other from our single link which is Shazia my only school friend in touch .The memories of times we spend together are hallmark of my teenage life .

I feel i am still missing something to point out in todays post but i will keep sharing when it will awake in my memories and whenever i find more time to write relaxingly instead of hurriedly. 

Thanks Margaret for the words so i could share more about how many good came out of that bad . 

I will post soon second part of Odds of Cousins hopefully.

May God keep you all in his blessings always! 


  1. Good can come out of bad so hopeful and true thanks.

    1. i am grateful that you found it helpful dear Christine
      i think sometimes we forget to look for good that comes out of bad ,we should always keep looking for brighter side and share it with further
      i have always said that i have seen much more such miracles throughout my life which has built up my "faith" so far

  2. Oh, it's wonderful that you reached that school and there were many encouraging teachers. These are who we remember. Yes, all over the world there are struggles. And decades ago, I feel there was not the importance of girls learning, but of course, there are exceptions. And you found those exceptions. Even so, in some parts of the world girls don't have that freedom of education.

    Thanks so much for your post. It was enlightening. Yes, we have to be grateful and share our gratitude. All the best to your beautiful creativity. Thanks for being here.

    1. i agree dear Ellie good people stay shining in our heart forever specially when they have inspired us to have faith and keep moving further with hope and positivity .
      since this world has been created i believe there are all kinds of people whether simple or complex in nature but what i realize that behind the visible view negative and positive both energies seems to exist in state of war constantly . Whoever is the creator it's His game or show whatever ,and we rarely try to understand what is purpose and how can we
      figure out our roll here .randomness in thoughts and behavior is disastrous .we need to step inward and alert ourselves so can feel what is going on actually and how to reduce the danger of being misled and make sever mistakes in life.
      the stronger mind the better can be life on individual and social levels
      heartfelt best wishes for you as well my friend and thanks for liking my sharing .it is always encouraging to here positive words from friends like you all

  3. Sometimes we need time to see good coming from a situation. The initial hurt can overshadow everything for some time in my experience.

    1. absolutely right dear Marie the greater is hurt the longer it takes to heal and relook to analyze gains and loss of situation
      i am grateful that i have mind that tries to rise back from trauma and learn from what have been done wrong by me (if it is the case)
      my starvation for learning help to keep modifying my mindset and not stick in hardwired pattern that restrains from improvement in life as a person

  4. Teachers usually don't recognize the influence they have to their students. A good teacher can make such a difference.

    1. my dear Emma i totally agree with you on this .
      teachers are considered second parents for students after their own parents .
      fortunately my positive attitude helped me to stay in their good book by the grace of God . I had no tantrum or stubbornness to resist any such situation specially when i saw many girls talk about teachers in private as they were inferior then them or so. I respected them from heart and in return they adored me for little good i had in me. i think getting close to them or to principal was impossible otherwise as a common student from tiny village
      my mother told me many times even after i moved here in southern sindh that whenever she would encounter to my old teachers while visiting Khanpur town they always would speak good of me as their student and ask about my wellbeing . this may sound little to others but it is true earning for me as person and student i believe

  5. You were very fortunate to be in a school with such positive attitudes toward students and their success. It gave you much confidence for the rest of your life. .

    1. i was indeed dear Red
      If i have stayed in first school for five years i have missed wonderful years of cherishing environment with kind teachers and lovely friends i have met in my second school .
      yes the appreciation they showed towards my talents widened my horizons gradually and i realized God has given me few valuable gifts .self discovery is first step to feel self worth .this realization strengthened my confidence and i could connect to some amazingly wonderful and beautiful brains of that time who broadened my vision about life and everything

  6. If we keep searching it's always like that, there's always something good.
    Have a great week

    1. i cannot agree more to this dear Pedro
      the first step is to have curiosity and instinct for learning and then life offers you so much to catch

  7. How lovely to read the good from you Baili, I'm so pleased you got on well at the new school back then, and to have people recognize your talents - well done.
    Thank you my dear friend for the link and mention...keep well.

  8. thanks for the generosity dear Margaret !
    i am often busy with many things and it is hard to gather all the necessary data about the topic during post as time for posting is also limited due to business as single woman in household .
    your words made me think that gave me quite abundance of things to share but time is always the limit due to many issues regarding power too actually
    hugs and best wishes

  9. Sometimes really good things come out of a really bad experience, Baili! How wonderful that you found a great school and escaped the toxic company of your male cousins. And thank goodness for good teachers and principals who recognized your gifts and helped you develop them. When my first marriage ended not by my choice, I was devastated. I didn't know if I could go on, but there was a whole wonderful new life ahead of me once I worked through the grief and pain. Hugs and love to you!

  10. i did not know that your first marriage was broken against your will dear Louise . i am sorry for all the pain i can only imagine such sad experience can cause .
    but again above everything there is a master planner and whatever he chooses for us is mostly best . i can say this from personal experience and how you mention about Terry's deep love for you my friend.
    love is priceless gift in my opinion ,most precious one to have by one. today you have this gift and everything else is meaningless before this beautiful fact .
    hugs and lots and lots of love to you !

  11. Important to keep looking for the good and positive.

    All the best Jan


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