When i was young sleeping was waste of time for me consciously or may be unconsciously because i used to sleep late night and never took naps while my whole family used to sleep early as in (my native) village night began right after dinner at 8pm.
I would pretend as sleep because mom was strict about early bed and early rise and specially morning prayers before sunrise.
When i would hear slight sound of snoring of my mom i would get up quietly and go to room ( in summer nights we used to sleep in front yard) and watch english drama or movie that used telecast on national t.v after 11pm .
I read somewhere that our body set it's own clock according to our routine and we feel sleepy or awake on certain same times when we do so.
So most probably this is the reason that i can't get sleep more the six hours .If i am tired due to heavy chore and fell asleep in afternoon i will not be able to sleep properly and deeply in night.
After Marriage after few early happy years when pressure from my in laws specially from my psycho ( this is for real she is mentally not healthy) mother in law i was forced to live a frustrated and terrible life my sleep was affected strongly .
Talking about my early married years from 1995 to 2005. It was most hard time when i was experiencing darker side of life .Life where all around you are enemy and try to destroy you just because you are loved by someone (hubby) from their own family and completely different from them.
This was time when my eyes seemed to forget HOW TO SLEEP!
i was scared of nights SPECIALLY THE LONG WINTER NIGHTS! They seemed like an anaconda who was crawling nearer to swallow me!
When hubby would sleep i would feel so helpless and horribly alone!
I would get up from the bed and go on roof top ,would sit on chair and stare to the moon if there is one. Would listen the mourning of air and try not make voice during my constant crying!
I saw how dark nights turned into the bright days and felt relived that this is daytime and atleast i can diverse my attention in house business .
It seemed that my body was loosing the need of sleep completely but worst was that the awaken times were full of terror and pain. I was lost and depressed .
Consequences were that i was often sick and lack of energy was effecting my physical and metal health because less sleep was decreasing my hunger also.
Almost six or seven years passed in such condition. I was becoming victim of self pity and totally lost self confidence. It was hard for me to appear in gatherings or talk by making eye contact with confidence
I was seeking for help now just like a sinking person wave his hands below the water but there was no one around to help!
This is human nature that when tough time comes he runs for help to others existing around him in the world outside him!
When he finds nothing he bow down and finally ask for help from his unseen creator who exists not only around him but somehow INSIDE HIM!
Talking from personal experience that God keeps his promise ,he answers when we call him and opens the doors of solutions for us miraculously!!!
So he did to me ,when i slowly started ponder upon problem, i found out that i was suffering with sleeping disorder which was result of my brain's distraction at the time of sleeping.
So what to do?
Only one solution was available
"to help myself"
Process was long and difficult because when we try to control others we be offensive but when it comes to control our own head we be confused how to do it!
I started physical exercise , meditation and little bit of yoga !
Gradually i learnt (little bit) how to command my brain!
Response was very slow to nothing in beginning but i knew i found the huge way to the solution so did not give up!
It took almost two years of effort to tame my brain according to my will!
Since almost 15 years i am enjoying proper and good sleep because when i lay down shut down the door of my brain and leave all the random pile of thoughts outside of it.
It hardly take few moments me to fall in sleep now !
Even i can take naps if i want to and good sleep at same night but i don't like naps until they are strongly required .
I feel active and energetic and for this blessing i am grateful to my dear lord who always helped me on straight time :)
Thank you for visiting and reading ,hope my experience will be helpful for one who has same problem!
Stay Calm and Full of FAITH HOPE and LOVE! God is always here for you then!
Hugs and Blessings to all of you!!!
Yes, sleep, which is the plug to fix the charger of the body, is a must, no doubt. As you said, Baili, the inner voice, if we listen well, will lead us to salvation. Thank God, You yourself fixed the problem. some useful tips are there.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it gets really dificult to shut down the brain, baili.
ReplyDeleteAnd when that happens sleep quality is affected.
Baili, when you are a mother-in-law I think you will be very good at it. I'm sorry for the things you experienced with yours. I find it difficult to shut off the thinking and worrying sometimes too in order to sleep. But if I keep my mind in the right place it comes naturally. Glad you found a way. :)
ReplyDeleteIt is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Psalm 127:2
Blessings...
During the most difficult period of my life, I also had bad sleep due to anxiety and insomnia, which only made the situation worse! Once I got out of that situation, my sleep improved tremendously. You did so well to train yourself for better sleep. Good sleep is crucial for good health!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful post, my heart aches for you for what you’ve been through but due to your fierce strength you over came it! That’s amazing but I still don’t understand how your husbands family could treat you so badly, did they not respect the fact he loved you? He chose you to be his life partner how could they not be happy for him! You write so beautifully, it always a joy to read ,
ReplyDeleteThank you dear Laurie!
DeleteMy mother in law was an orphan and had scary past which I think made her such terrible person.
She was so hard on her husband and even her own children.
She was same cruel to all 4 of her daughters in law as me.
In joint family system when head of the family is such complicated person it was difficult job to survive.
Hubby was not in position to buy me separate house immediately so I had to bear her cruelties for almost 4 years and after that an incident happened which made me speak and fight for my rights
What happened that made you speak up, Baili?
DeleteDear Sandi it was slap of my mother in law who tried everything bad in her COLD WAR AGAINST ME ALONG WITH WHOLE FAMILY BUT WHEN SHE FOUND NO RESPONSE AS I WAS GUIDED BY MY MOM TO STAY CALM AND STRONG as if your husband is a nice and loving man give him time to get you separate place .But she crossed her limits when slapped me one morning suddenly when I was going to my room with cup of tea ,she suddenly appeared and slapped for nothing my tea cup fell and broke .this injustice made me insane and I raised my hand to slap her back but my brother in law and sisters held me so strongly. I was crying and shouting while calling her crazy women who cannot see her children to live happily.
DeleteIt's long time ago 13 years back we left that home and my mother in law praise me on my back for my patience and love I tried to show all those years ( my sister in law tell) . We visit each other butoccasionally but i know that she spoiled golden years of my life! Still I take care of her medicine and pocket money as she is widow and living with youngest son on some distance from us.i do this because I want my God to be happy with me HE SAYS HATE SINS BUT NOT THE SINNERS !
Wow...Baili, your attitude is admirable. You care for her now. You choose to do the right thing because it is the right thing, not because of what anyone else has done. God bless you!
DeleteSo glad you were able to control this!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for what you've been through but am impressed by your ability to overcome this ordeal.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sandi, Baili. You will be a wonderful mother-in-law!
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with you. God is the answer.
A very heartwarming post, Baili. Here's to happy endings!
Oh Baili...my dearest friend...I so long to reach out and give you a big hug. You have suffered so much and it is so unfair that you were treated badly, especially when you have such a beautiful and caring Soul.
ReplyDeleteI find is really sad when a person who has suffered in their own life then goes on to make others endure the same fate.
There is far too much pain and suffering in the world...and we can only hope and pray that someday it will improve.
I am so in awe of you, my friend, for finding within you the strength to fight for your rights. You are amazing!! :))
Much Love & Hugs xoxoxo
It is good that you learned to relax your mind so you can sleep. You cannot take care of yourself or anyone else if you are not getting enough rest.
ReplyDeleteSleeping difficulties have been part of my life too. God has given me the means to sweep those thots away. Good post.
ReplyDeletegod
I am sorry you had such hard times in your in-laws' house, baili. It is very, very hard to shut off our brain in order to sleep, but you found a way to do it, fortunately. I'm glad you sleep well now, as our bodies need sleep to repair our physical selves and make us ready for another day.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry with your "dark life" episode.
ReplyDeleteBut, at the end, you find happy life. Thanks God.
Thank you for sharing your experience
A heart warming post.
ReplyDeleteSleeping badly or sleeping difficulties are not good, I am so pleased you were able to overcome this.
My good wishes
All the best Jan
I love how you have learned to relax both physically and spiritually xx
ReplyDeleteSleep is so important for our health. I have had periods where I don't sleep enough due to stress and worry. Thankfully it is not regular. I find that reading helps me fall asleep. I read every night before I go to bed, even if it's only for a few minutes.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I'm proud of how you helped yourself! Getting good sleep is so important!! Big Hugs!
ReplyDeleteYou have such a good heart, Baili, that it's hard to imagine tht others could not see that, as we do. But then that is on them and not you. I also have had problems sleeping more than 6 hours and also could not take afternoon naps (and still do not). However, I am working on getting to bed a bit earlier and sleeping a bit later and trying not to have lots of things racing around in my head to prevent restful sleep. Thank you for sharing your story and how you are now able to get rest.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about those rough years. It is interesting how you thought about sleep when you were younger. I loved skeep when i was in my teens snd my twenties. I could not get enough of it. Now I do not get enough as life gets too busy. I know that this is not a good thing and that I need to get more.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you had to deal with all of these things, Baili, but I am glad that things are much better for you now. Insufficient sleep can indeed affect our health in many ways. Wishing you a happy week.
ReplyDelete