Hello my precious friends !
Hope and pray that you are learning more and more ART OF LIFE by the each passing day.
Time is naughty teacher though and it's ways of teaching are unpredictable and Technics are surprising yet good students never skip the class and never avoid the studies until the last breathe .
We all know that no matter whatever we do LEARNING is the ONLY SOURCE OF PLEASURE . While facing the toughest times of life or during being entertain by any form of art we get sense of joy consciously or unconsciously because we Learn!
Sometime we learn from mistakes that other make and sometime lessons comes from wiser resources around us .We admit it or not we learn more from people who are less clever or called fools , While laughing at them huge joy comes from the learning that " we will never be doing this" .
People who absorb positivity from this process of learning change somehow for better and today i am sharing with you an incident which often springs up in my mind when usually i watch some drama or movie with happy ending when all characters at the end change their perspective and behavior and things resolve finally with ease.
When my grandma admitted me in the school i was eight [ we migrated from city to village when i was six and mom;s brother were not letting me go to school because for a girl it was not safe and right they thought , so mom 's courage took two more years to go against them and send me school ] and only girl from the village among some boys including my cousins . We everyday go to school by walking on hills covered with bushes and in the beginning i fell lot and my knees were always injured as it was absolutely new thing for me but i loved this adventurous journey every time .
There were and are two kinds of school ,one the govt school with free education where kids learn all subjects in national language Urdu.Other Private school where students learn English alongwith Urdu and fesses are quite high
The school was in another village .It had few large rooms but chairs were only for teachers . All the students would sit on the long rectangular mats in the huge front yard with an very old tree and hand pump. There were only two teachers of middle for almost 70 plus kids from grade one to grade five . When my teacher took my admission test he had put me in grade two because i passed it with good marks .
All the boys in school were little undisciplined and kind of wild to me because they used to talk so loudly and often fight with each other on hand pump specially.
Most of them were tall and i felt scare of them particularly when after each test my teacher praised me for my performance front of them and asked them to be "cock" [it was term for punishment in which boys had to sit in a very weird position by crossing their arms under their legs and hit them on their buts while saying that
"shame on you all boys"look at this little girl she is tall as your leg and in many grade behind but she defeated you all"
The boys seemed so angry with me and i could sense their hate for me .There were four more girls in school ,one in my grade and two in four . In school me and five other boys of my village were treated like outsiders because all other students belonged to the same village where school was situated .
By the time as teachers likening raised for me the hate of the other students arose even more .The other girl who was in my grade was biggest problem for me already and i realized that boys of her village pumped her against me more .
She stole my money threw my lunch and pulled my braid many times to tease me to fight with me .I sense her plan and remained patient as i knew that if we had fight other girls will support her too. I could not tell teacher because she left no evidence ever. I knew if i will tell mother she will come to school and talk to the teachers but then everyone will make fun of me that i was coward and called mom for help instead of facing it by own.
One day when it was break time and teachers were in rooms Nazima [the girl's name] pushed me so hard while i was leaning over the hand pump and drinking water ,my face slammed with pump and nose started bleeding .Nazima and other both girls were laughing and so the all boys except the five my villagers .I was shaking with both the fear and anger .I got up from the ground and tried to push her but three of them started beating me and pulling my braid ,i fell on ground again my eyes were shut due to tears ,sweat and hair .All i could feel my hands grip on her shirt and i was pulling it to make her fell down with me so i could beat her too.
I Did not know what happened suddenly that they took their hands off me with some strange kind of screaming . When i opened my eyes i was shocked and really more than shocked that Nazima was sitting on her knees on ground and shouting that i took off her pants [she was 11 ].
Both male teachers came out they saw the situation and without asking anything one of them took a thick stick and hit my knees by saying that you did a very shameful act .I still remember that tear pouring from my eyes not for that punishment but for that blame .
That day i took more then two hours to reach home instead of half hour because i was unable to walk properly yet pain i felt was that disgraceful blame was more than physical misery .
Next day mom went to school and angrily asked about it from teachers .They said if they would have not react such way there would be a revolt and protest against them because it was about a girl's dignity , they said i am very brilliant student though but it was obvious and necessary as that girl belong to a wealthy family . Mom was so sad and angry she believed me that i did not do it and my villager boys also told her everything Nazima used to do me .
Mother immediately decided that she will not send me to this school again .
Next week she took me the girls high school where only girls were studying and all the teachers were female .This was my biggest relief that from now i will be away from boys school and specially Nazima was not in my life anymore .
But my happiness could not last for long when after three months new admissions opened after exams one day Nazima appeared again as my class mate .A strange strong fear waved inside my body when i saw her front of me .
Her smile and snake like eyes were saying me that "I am after you ,you can't get rid of me" I really wanted to disappear in air ,she was weird and frightful .I could not understand that why she hated me as much that chased me here too. Just to make me in trouble she put her in disgust and now i could imagine that she can go any further to hurt me and it made me so afraid .
I was lucky that before her coming i made many new friends and got lots of appreciation from my teachers [later when i got in high classes i was lucky enough to be one of my principal's favorite student too] .
Since beginning i got terribly bad handwriting but still my teachers accepted and adored my hard work and it was huge satisfaction for me .Back to Nazima who tried her best to take my friends away and make me insulted by my teacher by her clever tricks .Her efforts were very high and easily noticed by my friends and teachers.
But this time God Blessed me with honor and when one day in exit time while we were standing in the line to move towards the gate she acted like pushed her and she threw her bag on ground and everything spread here and there. She was literly actually crying and running towards the principal office while saying that shabana hit me and threw my bag .I was shocked again by her acting skills but surprisingly principal slapped her so badly and fired her out by saying that " we been noticing you since you are here and know your history too,this school is not a place where you came for politics or fighting "
Coming years were some of most beautiful for me in the school and are still as treasure in my heart.
After finishing my school i got a government teaching job but could not continue because mom got me married after two years. After six years of my marriage when once i went to my mother's home mom told me that one day Nazima came to see you and she was apologizing with teary eyes for her previous misbehavior with you ,i told her that you live in city far away now than she said kindly let me know when she visit her i will say sorry to her .
I never wanted to see her but by chance we met on a wedding ceremony of common friend .She came near and hugged like she someone so closed to heart. i was amazed by her new look .Gentleness and peace replaced that evil desperation on her face .She talked for so long ,in short she said that she hated me because i was everyone's favorite and specially because my mother loved me as much that she cared about so much ,she brought umbrella and lunch and give goodbye kisses But my mom never cared about me she hated me as much i hated her .
She is unfaithful wife and irresponsible mother . Her confession made me cry ,i hugged her and told her that it was foolishness of childhood now we should forget about it .
She was changed and this was when i experienced for the first and last time that people change actually sometime and be good in future.
Sorry post became much long friends but i really wanted to share this today.
please take care ,stay happy and positive.God Bless You All!
Hope and pray that you are learning more and more ART OF LIFE by the each passing day.
Time is naughty teacher though and it's ways of teaching are unpredictable and Technics are surprising yet good students never skip the class and never avoid the studies until the last breathe .
We all know that no matter whatever we do LEARNING is the ONLY SOURCE OF PLEASURE . While facing the toughest times of life or during being entertain by any form of art we get sense of joy consciously or unconsciously because we Learn!
Sometime we learn from mistakes that other make and sometime lessons comes from wiser resources around us .We admit it or not we learn more from people who are less clever or called fools , While laughing at them huge joy comes from the learning that " we will never be doing this" .
People who absorb positivity from this process of learning change somehow for better and today i am sharing with you an incident which often springs up in my mind when usually i watch some drama or movie with happy ending when all characters at the end change their perspective and behavior and things resolve finally with ease.
When my grandma admitted me in the school i was eight [ we migrated from city to village when i was six and mom;s brother were not letting me go to school because for a girl it was not safe and right they thought , so mom 's courage took two more years to go against them and send me school ] and only girl from the village among some boys including my cousins . We everyday go to school by walking on hills covered with bushes and in the beginning i fell lot and my knees were always injured as it was absolutely new thing for me but i loved this adventurous journey every time .
There were and are two kinds of school ,one the govt school with free education where kids learn all subjects in national language Urdu.Other Private school where students learn English alongwith Urdu and fesses are quite high
The school was in another village .It had few large rooms but chairs were only for teachers . All the students would sit on the long rectangular mats in the huge front yard with an very old tree and hand pump. There were only two teachers of middle for almost 70 plus kids from grade one to grade five . When my teacher took my admission test he had put me in grade two because i passed it with good marks .
All the boys in school were little undisciplined and kind of wild to me because they used to talk so loudly and often fight with each other on hand pump specially.
Most of them were tall and i felt scare of them particularly when after each test my teacher praised me for my performance front of them and asked them to be "cock" [it was term for punishment in which boys had to sit in a very weird position by crossing their arms under their legs and hit them on their buts while saying that
"shame on you all boys"look at this little girl she is tall as your leg and in many grade behind but she defeated you all"
The boys seemed so angry with me and i could sense their hate for me .There were four more girls in school ,one in my grade and two in four . In school me and five other boys of my village were treated like outsiders because all other students belonged to the same village where school was situated .
By the time as teachers likening raised for me the hate of the other students arose even more .The other girl who was in my grade was biggest problem for me already and i realized that boys of her village pumped her against me more .
She stole my money threw my lunch and pulled my braid many times to tease me to fight with me .I sense her plan and remained patient as i knew that if we had fight other girls will support her too. I could not tell teacher because she left no evidence ever. I knew if i will tell mother she will come to school and talk to the teachers but then everyone will make fun of me that i was coward and called mom for help instead of facing it by own.
One day when it was break time and teachers were in rooms Nazima [the girl's name] pushed me so hard while i was leaning over the hand pump and drinking water ,my face slammed with pump and nose started bleeding .Nazima and other both girls were laughing and so the all boys except the five my villagers .I was shaking with both the fear and anger .I got up from the ground and tried to push her but three of them started beating me and pulling my braid ,i fell on ground again my eyes were shut due to tears ,sweat and hair .All i could feel my hands grip on her shirt and i was pulling it to make her fell down with me so i could beat her too.
I Did not know what happened suddenly that they took their hands off me with some strange kind of screaming . When i opened my eyes i was shocked and really more than shocked that Nazima was sitting on her knees on ground and shouting that i took off her pants [she was 11 ].
Both male teachers came out they saw the situation and without asking anything one of them took a thick stick and hit my knees by saying that you did a very shameful act .I still remember that tear pouring from my eyes not for that punishment but for that blame .
That day i took more then two hours to reach home instead of half hour because i was unable to walk properly yet pain i felt was that disgraceful blame was more than physical misery .
Next day mom went to school and angrily asked about it from teachers .They said if they would have not react such way there would be a revolt and protest against them because it was about a girl's dignity , they said i am very brilliant student though but it was obvious and necessary as that girl belong to a wealthy family . Mom was so sad and angry she believed me that i did not do it and my villager boys also told her everything Nazima used to do me .
Mother immediately decided that she will not send me to this school again .
Next week she took me the girls high school where only girls were studying and all the teachers were female .This was my biggest relief that from now i will be away from boys school and specially Nazima was not in my life anymore .
But my happiness could not last for long when after three months new admissions opened after exams one day Nazima appeared again as my class mate .A strange strong fear waved inside my body when i saw her front of me .
Her smile and snake like eyes were saying me that "I am after you ,you can't get rid of me" I really wanted to disappear in air ,she was weird and frightful .I could not understand that why she hated me as much that chased me here too. Just to make me in trouble she put her in disgust and now i could imagine that she can go any further to hurt me and it made me so afraid .
I was lucky that before her coming i made many new friends and got lots of appreciation from my teachers [later when i got in high classes i was lucky enough to be one of my principal's favorite student too] .
Since beginning i got terribly bad handwriting but still my teachers accepted and adored my hard work and it was huge satisfaction for me .Back to Nazima who tried her best to take my friends away and make me insulted by my teacher by her clever tricks .Her efforts were very high and easily noticed by my friends and teachers.
But this time God Blessed me with honor and when one day in exit time while we were standing in the line to move towards the gate she acted like pushed her and she threw her bag on ground and everything spread here and there. She was literly actually crying and running towards the principal office while saying that shabana hit me and threw my bag .I was shocked again by her acting skills but surprisingly principal slapped her so badly and fired her out by saying that " we been noticing you since you are here and know your history too,this school is not a place where you came for politics or fighting "
Coming years were some of most beautiful for me in the school and are still as treasure in my heart.
After finishing my school i got a government teaching job but could not continue because mom got me married after two years. After six years of my marriage when once i went to my mother's home mom told me that one day Nazima came to see you and she was apologizing with teary eyes for her previous misbehavior with you ,i told her that you live in city far away now than she said kindly let me know when she visit her i will say sorry to her .
I never wanted to see her but by chance we met on a wedding ceremony of common friend .She came near and hugged like she someone so closed to heart. i was amazed by her new look .Gentleness and peace replaced that evil desperation on her face .She talked for so long ,in short she said that she hated me because i was everyone's favorite and specially because my mother loved me as much that she cared about so much ,she brought umbrella and lunch and give goodbye kisses But my mom never cared about me she hated me as much i hated her .
She is unfaithful wife and irresponsible mother . Her confession made me cry ,i hugged her and told her that it was foolishness of childhood now we should forget about it .
She was changed and this was when i experienced for the first and last time that people change actually sometime and be good in future.
Sorry post became much long friends but i really wanted to share this today.
please take care ,stay happy and positive.God Bless You All!
Bullies exist everywhere but it is great that you saw a change in one.
ReplyDeleteEven though we live in such different places, people act much the same. I had a boy that tormented me all through primary school. We moved then and he showed up at my high school too. He was still a nasty boy.
ReplyDeleteI've heard that he became a minister and is a nice person. It is hard for me to believe that.
A different land, a different culture, but so much of this story happens in our schools everyday. It is good you were so strong, that kind of bullying often defeats weaker willed children.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post on several levels.
What a beautiful story of grace and redemption! But poor you...I'm glad time has passed and you excelled. Your pain and suffering probably saved Nazima. Andrea
ReplyDeleteThis is a powerful story, baili. You were a very strong girl to accept so much at your first school. It's amazing that Nazima was able to change - so often our behaviors become fixed. Forgiving her past mistakes shows what we know from your blog, that you have a kind heart. Thank you for telling us your story, and reminding us that people can truly change for the better.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that you were so bullied by Nazima but glad she eventually grew up and apologized to you. I hope she was truly sorry.
ReplyDeleteWhat a story you have told in this post, Baili, even sadder still for it being all true. I was sorry to read of the pain and humiliation you suffered in that first school. I know we are constantly told that we should forgive our abusers, but that Nazima would have made it more difficult if I was the victim. I am happy for you that you have had such positive moments afterwards in your life.
ReplyDeleteHow awful for you in your childhood years. It is not pleasant being the target of an aggressive bully. I am pleased that you got away from her.
ReplyDeleteI am also pleased that eventually she transformed her own thoughts and life.
Thank you for sharing this. Isn't it something that bullies exist in so many different cultures. Glad your story has a good ending.
ReplyDeleteBe blessed
I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles back then. Nazima was indded a bully. Her insecurities and troubles certainly made her very jealous of you. I hope she was sincerely sorry when she apologized.
ReplyDeleteIt was very hard for you. But you know that you are the winner.
ReplyDeleteA very memorable experience that probably shaped you in part, Baili. But as time goes on, we get smarter and stronger and I KNOW you did. Look at your writing! Sadly, the bullying goes on today and everywhere. I hope our children learn to overcome it and move on with examples such as yours.
ReplyDeleteJane x
Life wasn't too good for you back then at school, but you rose above it but never forgot.
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely Easter.
It has been hard for you. Luckily it is better now.
ReplyDeleteThat is a moving story. Thank you for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteIt is wonderful that you overcame the bullying that you were exposed to. It is also wonderful that the person that you described here changed and repented.
I agree that people can change. I have also seen this with folks that went to school with as well as people that I have known for a long time.
Have a great week!
What a painful yet illuminating post. My heart hurt so for the younger you and I was so relieved when you eventually found support from your classmates and teachers. I so admire your being able to forgive her and to understand the pain that had driven her to act so deplorably. As wrong as she was, she helped to shape you into the strong woman you are today. Thank you for sharing this story.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your story of triumph and survival in a wicked world!
ReplyDeleteI don't take kindly to bullies. Thanks for sharing, sorry it was so rough for you. Thank you for coming over to visit at my blog, please come anytime.
ReplyDeleteGoodness, thank you for sharing these words and your story, I found it most moving.
ReplyDeleteYou overcame such difficulties, you triumphed ...
Take care
All the best Jan
And finally, everyone has grown up.
ReplyDeleteI was also bullied in school when I was young. There will always be bullies but it is good when some of them grew up and change for the better.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this story with us!
ReplyDeleteFortunately it ended happily. Not all do.
Girls' education is one of the keys to a better world.
Hugs and blessings!
Thank you for sharing this story. It touched me greatly. Sad to say, there are bullies the world over. I was bullied also at school. Some change their ways, others become adult bullies. I recognize their tactics immediately. Wishing you a great day Baili:)
ReplyDeleteI was so touched by your story, the hardships you suffered, and so moved that you found grace in the end. Sadly, this kind of behavior is still around today but I think people are more open to listen and less eager to judge. Al least I hope so.
ReplyDeleteAmalia
xo
This is a powerful story, Baili; and I'm so glad you shared it. Your teachers at the boys' school may have meant well, but they made things so much worse by using your performance to humiliate the boy students. Your mother sounds like a wonderful person, who not only believed you but took steps to put you into a better learning environment. It says a lot about you that your tender heart was touched by Nakima's own story and that you could give her your friendship and forgiveness after having been so abused at her hand. I'm happy for you both that you've been able to put those troubling times behind you and move forward with your lives.
ReplyDeleteA touching story. Thankfully in time she saw the error of her ways, you were very gracious to accept her apology, not everyone would. Thanks for your kind comment on my blog.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry what you went through my friend! Life has a way of doing things! Lessons or blessings. You went through a lot! I am so happy you got an apology! And, you are a wonderful person to accept it! Big Hugs!
ReplyDeleteA lovely and touching story.
ReplyDeleteDear Baili - Your loving mother must have saved and healed your mental shocks from such terrible bullying. It was a good idea for you to be a student of girls-only school. In general, there are people who can sympathize other’s misfortune but don’t feel happy (at heart) about other’s happiness. To be jealous would be natural for little children, but adults must set it straight in upbringing. I’m happy for Nazima that she could realize her wrongdoing and apologize sincerely. We can learn from other’s mistakes as well as our own. Have happy days ahead.
ReplyDeleteYoko
Obrigada por partilhar esta sua história, nada fácil, mas que você soube enfrentar e aprender com as dificuldades. Realmente o tempo ajuda-nos a relativizar as coisas e traz com ele uma aprendizagem única.
ReplyDeleteUma boa semana.
Beijos.
Thank you for sharing this powerful story, Baili. It's very difficult to be really smart, because so many people resent your abilities. Children can be very cruel, and sadly bullying is so common. I don't think anyone forgets the shame of being punished unfairly. You had a wonderful mother who stood up for you and supported you in your quest for education. She was an amazing woman! There is always the hope that people can change, but they must want to change themselves. You can't force it on them. My dad always said, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar." The longer I live, the wiser I think that saying is. Have a great day!
ReplyDeleteA lovely and touching story.
ReplyDeleteหนังตลก