After you! page from my Diary

when i opened my eyes rays were trying to climb on my pillow,but i could not feel that slight thrill and joy to see it, which i used to feel after seeing it everyday near me,could not receive message of fresh morning and bundle of new moments sent by sun,

for few next moment i felt myself move less,my eyes were stuck on the roof,where design got messed up and pattern seemed quite ugly,i grabbed myself from the bed against my will and put on the chair close to window, it was strange morning,everything seemed so still and meaningless ,i found a round burning ball showering its shiny anger and harm on my head and eyes,

saw falling tears from the tree's eyes,and crying birds in the blue arms of sky,

today air did not deliver any cheerful news to my ears,

all was here,but lost its charm,

among the crowed i was walking alone,

i made a cup of tea and sat again on the same chair,i could not figure out that what to do next,i picked my notebook and opened it,it was quite a time i wrote some thing on it,but more then half pages of its were written already,

its black pages  gave me glimpse of a huge noisy crowed, sudden feeling i got after looking at them was that i want to run away from it,i start flipping pages so quickly till i found white blank pages,i felt like i reached at somewhere i belong where i can find some peace and speak my heart openly with the silence,

i dont know for how long my eyes were stuck on those blank white pages, and what did they try to find,

but a moment came when i felt that i can write,so i picked up my pen and start sharing my heart with my diary.