Saturday, June 15, 2019

Universal Problem Of Married Women And I Am Fine Friends :)))


Hey    Illuminating   Hearts !


Hope    adoring   yourself   for  all  you  achieved   till  today :)

Falling  in  love   with   yourself   is  important   and  Necessary !

Because   you   deserve   Love  not just  from  your  loved  ones  but  From  your  Ownself !

No   matter   How   intellectual    or  clever  people   become  and  how   much  advanced   world  will   be  ,

People   will   still   be  needing  Love   to  Feel   Alive  at  Soul!

Love   is  Base   for  all  kind  of  creativity !

This  life  ,universe  and  everything  within    is   created  by Love!

And   you  know  it  better  than  me  i  believe  ,i  just  like  to remind   because   ups  and   downs  of   life    block  our   view   sometimes   ,and  things   get  foggy  ,So   little  effort   to   clear   the  view  that's  it :)


Okay  now   let   me  thank   you  all    of  you  for   your   precious  sweet    comments  on  my  previous  post.

I  feel  blessed  that   you  guys  care  about  me  as  much  that  even  my  expression   in  my  poetry   bother  you  if  i  am  not  feeling  good .

Which  i really  appreciate  as  i  can  understand  it  is  your  kindness   for  me .For  which  i  am   grateful!


First , the  poem  i  shared  in  previous   was  repost    from  2010. I   thought   it  would  be   nice  to  share  my  early  experience  of  poetry   in  English   language   as   then  we    did  not   visit  each   other .

Second ,  being  a   poet   it  is   not  necessary   that   each   piece  of  poetry   exhibit   my  personal    feelings .

I   believe  no  creative  mind    reveal    his  or  her  own   feelings   only  through  their  art.

  Painter  , writer   or  poet   mostly   deal     with   all   joys  and  pains   that   they  see  around  them   as  their  own.

I  will   share  only  my  own   perspective  as   i   find   myself   Strongly  Connected   with   all   round  me  whether   they   are   of  positive   are  negative   attitude .

I  find  my  self   air    that   flows   through   the   people  and  peak  in  their  insidious  worlds.

I  feel  their  pain  and   happiness  as  i  am  bearing  this  all.

This  is  Indescribable  feeling !

Sometimes  works  like  blessing   ,Sometimes  like  curse !

I    can   share   their  emotions   as  deeply  as  if  they  are  mine  !

 Feelings   shared     in  this  poem   are   not   just   mine   but  the  result   of  long  observations   and  knowledge  grabbed   from  books  and   other  sources .


I   used   to  read  stories   not  only  native  literature   but  translations  from    literature  across   the  world   published   in   monthly  digests .

I  observed  that  Happiness   and  excitement  belongs   to  children   and   youth  mostly   or  totally .

I  used  to  stare  at    faces  during  gatherings  and  acknowledged   that    Happy  faces    attract   More  .

Smiles  appeal , and  laughter  hold    attention.

And  i  saw  this  coming  from  youngsters  only  specially   females .

Married  women    looked   Sad  and    Lost   mostly!

 If  even  there  was  smile  on  their  lips  ,their  eyes   were  barren    still!

I   learnt  that  After  marriage   women   feel  alone  and  sad  after  certain  period   specially   after   one  or  two   years   when   their  first  child  born.

As   i  grew   old   i  found   this  Universal   problem !

Each  story   depict   same   thing  that  married   women   feel  disappointed   when    they   do  not   find  their    husband   same  passionate  man   from  early  time  of   marriage  anymore .

Love   has  nothing  to  do  with  physical  interaction. I   don't  agree  that   couple  who  have   successful    "bedroom life"   lead  a  Happy   life  .

I   know   people   who   do  same   but   still   involve  in  domestic  violence   and  extra  marital  affairs.

I   think   after  marriage  a  woman    when   suddenly  is  uplifted  by  her  man  and  treated  with  extraordinary   love  and  attention    (specially  love  marriage)   for   some  period  of  time .

She   thinks  that  her  life  is  complete  with  ideal  partner  who  loves  and  adore  her  and his  behavior   shows  this  all  the  time.  

She   finds  it  not  just  shocking   but  insulting   when   warmth   between  relationship  is  gone  for  no  obvious  reason .It   hurts  her  self  respect  so  badly!

She  feels   like  she  is  thrown  down  from  heights  that  she  was  taken  to   while  ago .

She (my  opinion)  wants  the  assurance   that  she  is  still  important . And   that  she   is  not  a  "stuff"  but  life partner, who    deserve   love   and  care   everyday   which  can   strengthen   her   to   cherish   life  ahead. 


I  am  not  exception   . I  am   not   embarrassed   to   share   because   the  change  in  hubby's  behavior  was   not     because  i   did  something  wrong   or   i  was  not  the  same   woman  he  treated   more  enthusiastically   before .   

I  was   able  to  relate  to  such  women   now   and  may  be  i  was  waiting  for  the  time  already   which    helped  me  to  Save  myself   from  falling   into  well  of  " self  pity " .

I   cannot  say  that  i  reacted  like  most   wise   lady  on  earth   but  i  tried  at  least.

It   took   many   years  to  crawl   out   from  that   one  of  the  most  painful    experience though .Most   important   thing  that  i  did   not   give  up. Hubby  realized  that   i  was  right  in  my  demands .


Demand   for  time  ,for  sharing  and  for  connecting   spiritually  which  is  important   than   physical   bonding!  (my opinion)

  image   taken  in  January 2018  during construction of   upper  story 

I  think   nothing  can  make  difference   for  a life  partner  but   his  or  her  life   partner  only!

If  even  whole  world  turn  back  to  one of  them  he  or  she    will  be  remained   unharmed   if   her   life  partner   is  Able to  make   her    feel  Loved  ,Cared  and   respected .

Otherwise   if  the  whole world  is  kind  to  her  or  him   except   one  most   important  person   in  her  life   Nothing  can   Cheer  her  up  genuinely!

And   now  when  i  look  back  ,actually  when  we  both  look   back  and  talk  about   our  child  like    behaviors  we   laugh.

We   are   together  for   almost   27   years .And   not  just  happily  married  but  sincerely   and   gratefully !

Happy  that  we   found  each  other !



  









29 comments:

  1. Dearest Baili, oh such a beautiful and heartwarming post...and one so universally true!
    I used to believe that I was alone in this experience, that there was something seriously lacking in me as a person. But, now, after 40 years of marriage I finally understand that it is just the way things are...when we are young and our love is new and exciting, we believe it will be that way forever. But that is just the stuff of fairytales, isn't it?! Hopefully, if can work on our relationship together, then a deeper love will develop that is enduring and is not just dependent upon our experiences in the bedroom.
    Dearest Baili, oh thank you so much for this wonderful post...you have truly made me feel normal, rather than a failure. I no longer expect the impossible!😊😊

    All my love and hugs ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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    1. Dear Ygraine your kindness always honour me !

      This is such beautiful phrase you said at last
      THE DEEPER LOVE
      Yes when we stop following our jyst physical instincts

      And spirits start bonding both partners find the essence of their relationship

      Delete
  2. I'm happy for you Baili, you both look so happy together. I think that you're right about marriage and women. Alex and I have been together for 6 years but there was a time when I felt a little neglected and I told him and he made a change. He's very affectionate and loving and I do feel cared for and appreciated. It's a wonderful feeling and I kind of feel sorry for women who don't have that in their marriage or partnership.

    I could really relate to what you said about expression in your poetry. When I paint my creepy/scary stuff, it's not necessarily about how I'm feeling or what I went through, it's just something I've observed or wanted to express artistically. I think that your poem from the last post really conveyed great emotion! It was lovely! :) Hope you're having a nice weekend! It's raining here AGAIN...but we're busy...we found a THIRD little baby squirrel! I'll post about that today or tomorrow!!! :)

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    1. Thank you dear Rain for sharing your thoughts

      I think you did great by not giving up the dialogue between both of you which is important and it worked for you which is pleasure

      I did the same
      I did not imprisoned my self in shell of silence or tried to retreat
      I kept trying to make him understand what was correct

      Delete
  3. Sounds like you and your husband have built a life of true love together and that is a blessing!

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  4. so glad to hear that! what's the secret of finding the right partner though? I keep getting my heart broken :c

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  5. What an inspiring post, a beautiful love story actually!

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  6. Because you have the ability to stand up for yourself you were able to let your husband know that you are a person too. You expected and received what you needed to make you happy so you could help him to be happy. The are the mirror to the soul. It is important to have happy eyes.

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    1. dear Emma separation is hardly accepted in our society

      when there are kids it is harder to break marriage

      only option remains is to try to make it work with COMPLETE HONESTY

      and i did it
      My be God acknowledged my intention and effort and things got better but surely i was broken for long time until i composed my self through some positive steps

      Delete
  7. Not everyone finds that special person. You have been blessed.

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    1. i agree dear Marie

      i have seen separations and consequences they brought were mostly painful

      if both parties agreed to compromise and give each other time to get on track there are chances for better and happy married life

      but if both or one of them decides to stay stubborn there is no solution indeed

      Delete
  8. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he could come back to me, I was really worried and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Robinson.buckler can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 11hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Robinson.buckler. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Robinson.buckler is real spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your ex lover back or save your marriage fast. Do not cry anymore, contact Robinson.buckler@ {{yahoo}} . com

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  9. Wonderful post. You raise a good point about human nature. No matter who we are, some things are the same for everyone. It is super that you have been married for so long. I have been happily married for 23 years myself.

    Have a great day!

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    1. few things or feelings are foundation of life dear Brain ,no matter how high the building goes it's stability depends upon foundation

      congratulations to you either my friend for having a peaceful and successful married life

      Delete
  10. Lovely post Baili.
    You and your husband have done very well to be happy and married for 27 years - congratulations to you both.
    You have along way to go to catch up to my husband and myself...next year will be our 55th Wedding Anniversary :) We were married very young and therefore we grew together in all ways..

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    1. this lifetime dear Margaret :)

      this is amazing feeling to have life partner for whole life

      how two people become one slowly and reflect each other in their thoughts and actions is so precious feeling

      Delete
  11. It is so true that marriages and relationships must be carefully tended and paid attention to or they will not continue to be successful. This is a universal occurrence. Congratulations on being married 27 years! Wishing you many, many more years together in happiness.

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  12. Olá, Baili, tão de longe envio meu abraço a você!
    Estou visitando seu blog e gostando muito!
    Até à vista! Voltarei.

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  13. Aw, that is sweet! Wishing you both many more happy years together! xo

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  14. Almost 22 years of marriage, 23 living together.
    Ups and downs, which is normal.
    But really happy with it.
    Have a great week

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  15. Um texto excelente! Parabéns por ser a pessoa que é, sempre a tentar ser feliz, sempre a acreditar no amor. Gostei de ver os dois. Um beijo meu.

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  16. Baili, your wisdom and uplifting posts continue to amaze me. You are correct in saying that physical attraction is not true love, which is something I believe completely. Congrats to you and your husband on 27 years together and raising 3 sons together. Staying together does require effort and honesty and being able to compromise because each person has expectations and differences. Good for you in being able to express your needs.

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  18. I do like the photograph of you and your husband.
    I wish you many more happy years together.
    God bless

    All the best Jan

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  19. You and your husband have a real partnership, making a strong and secure family life for everyone, lovely picture of you both.

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  20. I agree with every word you wrote, my friend! I wish younger folks could have this knowledge when they are growing up, so they can choose a partner wisely and avoid a lot of possible unhappiness. Unfortunately, there are very few classes except through some churches. It's the same with raising children. Two of the most important things we will do in life, and we get very little, if any, training for them!

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  21. This is a lovely post. And the secret of a happy marriage is hidden within it!

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