Friday, November 16, 2018

What I Learnt From My Second Job (final part)




This   news   surprised  me   as   I  was   not  expecting   this  .I   knew   that   promotion   is   happy   thing   but   this   was   also   a  fact   that   in  spite   of  all  odds  my  jab  as  packing  girl  was  more  close  to  my  heart   and  nature  .


When   I   returned  to  the  hall   girls   gathered  around  me  and  asked  what  happened . I  told  them  whole  thing . There   were   different  kind  of  reactions  ,

few  were  happy    ,more  were  shocked  or  annoyed  included  section   incharge  specially  who  was  always  busy   in  efforts   to  let  me  down  in   front  of  madam .

She  specially   disliked  me  for  my  nature  (which was not my fault obviously)   and  she  also   hated  me  for  likening  of   madam  for  me .Her   reaction  was  furious ,

she  said “I  am  working  here  since   6   years  and  never  saw  someone  promoted  from  hall  to  laboratory   “how  it  is  possible” blah blah


Anyway   From  Next   Monday    I  was   asked  to  work  in  laboratory    where   six  pharmacists   and  12  helping  girls  were  already  working  in  huge  hall  equipped  with   stuff   that    was  used  in  preparation   of  different  kind  of  medicine.

In  first    week   I  was   taught   to  learn   my  duties   and  observe  other  team  members  .My   job  also  included  file  arrangements  in  last  two  hours  of  the  day.


I  was  learning   and  doing  alright   but   there  was  some  negative  vibes    coming   from   few  of  my  colleagues . Reason   was  my   irritating   simplicity ( heard these words from them)  and   my  extra  dedication( in their  opinion)    to  my  job  which   they   though   was   my   effort   to  get  attention   of  madam  and  other   seniors.   

I  had  been   suffering  with  such  painful   attitude   from  many   people  i  encountered  in   my  life  from  primary   school   to  this  moment   who   disliked  me   for  the  way  i  am   and  this  is  not  fair  in  my  opinion   because  everyone  comes  with  different  nature   and  this  is  just   me.

I  can  change  my  habits  to  please  others  but  nature  is  something  so   deeply  rooted  in  genes   so  how  can  i  change  it????

Anyway   time   was   flowing   smoothly  .My  eldest   son   was  doing  fine   in  school  and  it  seemed  i  was  close   to  make  my  dreams  come  true  ,

dreams  of   doing   job   and  feeling  little  bit  self  dependent   ,and   dream   of   raising  my   son   in   decent   environment  away   from  all  domestic  issues  caused  by  influence  of   in  laws.


Meanwhile   my  husband   was  doing  two   jobs  in  his  own  city  ,one   was  government's   and  other  was  part  time  as  hotel  manager .He   was  sacrificing   his  sleep   to  make  some  money   so   he   can  buy   plot   for  making  separate  house   for  us  and  he   was  succeeding  in  his  plan  by  the  grace  of  God!


He   had   also  joined  the  civilian   force   training     which  was  optional  for  civil   servants    and  was  being  paid    in  handsome  amount  after  each   training   with    army.


I   was    satisfied   with  my   job   inspite   of   some   mistreats  by   two    certain  coworkers   who   tried  to  manipulate   me   with  cheap   tricks .


They   misplaced   files   twice  and   misinformed   pharmacist  whom  i  been  assisting   about   my  performance  and    tried  to  make  me  embarrassed  and   insulted   by   madam .


But   each   time   God   saved   me   through   my  sixth   sense   which  helped  me  to  recheck    and   correct  file  arrangements   and  reply   honestly   when   i  was  being  asked   about  my  work.


I   forgot   to  mention   about   a  young   pharmacist   who   was   extremely   good   looking (girls opinion)   and   almost   each  girl   was  ready   to  fall  for  him . Once  my   colleague  found  his  dropped  handkerchief   and  were  fighting  for  it  to   keep( how  silly)

Once,   while   it  was  raining  and  i  was  walking  to  the  van  stop  for  factory   ,a  car  came  near   and  stopped  .It  was  pharmacist  ,he  offered  me  that  he  can  drop  me  as  he  is  also  going   to  same  factory .

I  thanked  him  and  refused   politely  ( here  it  is  not  good  act   for  young  lady   to  take  lift   from  stranger)  although  in  big  cities  it   happens   often  but  i  was(even am)   so  coward   in  such   acts. You  can   call  me  most  coward   person   when  it  comes   to  be  familiar   to  opposite  gender   (specially which  seem  not  to  be  trusted  by  my  senses )  what  can  i  do  it  is  in  my  weird  nature !


Back  to  point  since  that  day  that  man  started  to  give    me    unwanted  extra   attention  which  made  me  uncomfortable  and   even   worse   that    i  was  more  clear  target   to  my  certain  colleagues .

He  would     ask  me  to  stand  beside  while  working  when  even  it  was  not  required .This  was  making  me  angry .

Once   i  went   to  the  madam  ( lady  head  incharge   of  halls )  and  without  telling  the  reason  requested  to  appoint  me  back   in  hall  as  packing  girl  as  for  me  it  was  most   important   to  work  in  easy   environment .

Madam   was  shocked  and  asked  me  reason  and  inevitably  i  told  her ,obviously  it  was  laughing  stalk    for her  and  she  thought of  me  a  biggest  fool .  She  said  you  should  not  be  worried  as  it  is  very   strict  environment  and  he  will  not  cross  his  limits ,it's  just  his   timely  affection .

She  said  when  he  will  find  no  positive  response   he   will  be  normal   you  should  not  be  demoting  yourself  for   other's  mistake. I  could  not  convince   her  that  a   man  who   inspite  of  knowing   that  i  am  married  with  one  child  is   acting weirdly  can   not  be  decent  enough   to  be  worthy  of    respect   or  trust.

Once   ,  when   i  was  looking   for  van  after  leaving   factory  and  it  was  raining  heavily  i  saw   him  again  though   he  had  been  leaving  half  hour  ago  front  of   my  eyes . He   again  offered  me  to  sit  in  car   as   it  is  raining  heavily   and  van  may  be  late   more  .

This  time   i  told  him  to  please  leave  me  alone   and  stop  acting   extra   nicely  as  it  makes  me  uneasy   and  i  find  this   harmful  for  my  reputation .

He  drove  away   but  did  not  leave  ,he  stood  and  stared  until  i  took  taxi  and  left. 

I  could   complain  to  head  office  and  it  could  be  dangerous  for  his  job  but  i  had   no  solid  reason   to  do  so  as   this   was  not  any  kind   of  harassment   but   stupidity   of   a  young  man  .  I   also    knew  since  always  been     little  over  sensitive  about  such  issues  or  you  can  call  me  abnormal  like  my  sister :) but  again  i  could  not resist  my  nature.

So  unconsciously  now  i  was  looking   for  to  quit  this   job.I  knew   i  was  going  to  make  mistake ,but   one  thing  sprang    in  my  head  as  very  strong  excuse.

My  eldest  son  missed  his  father  all  the  time   and   often  asked  me  that   why   Abu (father)  can't  live  with  us ? I  always  told    him  that  one  day  he  will  come  to  stay  with  us   but  to  do  so  he  had  to  quit  his  government  job  which   was  in  provincial  category   and   transfer  in  federal   area   was  not  possible  .


My   husband   visited   us  after  each   3  or  4   months  just   to  make  his  son  happy  though  it  was  quite  expensive   to  travel  from  one  corner  of country   to  another .

We   both  (me and hubby) also  missed   each  other  but  our  priority   was  to   give   our   son  all   that  he  needed   to  be   nice   ,healthy  and  successful  man   in  future .Honestly   we  also   were  stressed  and  pressurized   by  in laws  and  circumstances   to  be  departed. 

Ofcourse  my  strong  bonding  with  my  mom  was  also  a  big  reason   as  she  was  not  agreed   to  live  with  us  in  our  small  city  which  she  always  criticized  for  heat  and  dust   and    i  could  not  leave  her  alone .

My   father's  returning  gave   strength   to  my  plan  .I  requested  him   (begged him actually)  to  not  to  leave  mom  alone  again   and  that  i  may  be  get  going  back  to  home  as   Ahsan(my eldest son)  is  missing  his  father  all  the  time. 


One   day   when   i  returned   from  factory  in  evening  i  saw   that   my  son   got  his  finger   cut   by  blade   and  stain  of  blood   on  his  shirt   made  me  mad.


I  asked   mom   about  the  accident   she  said   it  happened  while   i  was  taking  nap  after  lunch (i  was  paying extra  fee  for  school  van to  drop  my son back   home).

I  hugged  my  son  and  asked  what  happened  ,he  told  that  i    picked  up  nana's (my father)  blade  to  play   as  i  wanted  to  shave  like  nana but  it  cut  my  finger.

I   felt  so   sad   sad   and  dizzy .  I  said  my  father  how  he  can   be  so  irresponsible  to  leave  his  shaving  kit  in  reach   of   my  child. Which   hurt   me  more  was  that   my  parents  did  not  dressed  the  wound  which  was  not  much  deep   but  as  i  said  stain  of  blood  on  his  white  shirt  was  enlarging  the scenario.

I  immediately  dressed   his  finger  and  hold  him  tight   as   i  felt   i   was  responsible  for  this  .Worries   surrounded  my  heart  ,i   realized  that   anything  worse  can  happen  to  my  child  in  my  absence . 

I   thought   i  was   doing    everything   for   my  son  but  if  he  is  not  safe  and  happy  what   benefit   i  am  getting   from  my  struggles .

I   made   quick   decision  that   i  will   go   back  to   my  husband   and  we  both   will  look  after  our   son  together .This   way   my  son   will  be  safe  and  happy  to  have  both  of  us  close  to  him.So   next    day  i  went   to  railway  station  and  reserved   our  seats  . Luckily    i  got  reservation  was  after  one  day.


It   was   middle  of  month   yet  i  did  not  care  and   next   day   gave   my   resignation    to  madam  .She   was   so   shocked   that   why  so  suddenly  i  am  doing  this .I  did  not  tell  him  the   whole  story  i  just   said  that   my  husband   has  come   from   another  city  and  i  will   have  to  leave  with  him  as  he has  reserved   our  seats   in   train  already ,  I  lied   because   i  knew  madam  who   had  become     quite  attached    with  me    will  force  me   to  wait   till  end  of  the  month .


My   guess   was   right    she  became    so  emotional   and   i  could   not  believe   when  i  saw   tears   in  her  eyes!

She  was  pregnant  with  six  month   but   still   was  coming  to  work   .This   was  painful   for  her   to  take   lots  of  stress  and   pressures   of  daily  running  and  shouting   around   and  achieving   the   production    targets  set   by   seniors .

In   whole  factory   she  found   me   one   to  whom   she  can   trust   and   share  her   heart  and   bit  story   of  her  life .Her   tears   for  me  made  me  cry too.

Woman   of  stone  had  soft   corner  for  me  this  was  miracle   of  my  dear  Lord!Girls  in  halls  were  astonished   by  this  sight  when   she  got  up   and  hugged  me . Our  friend   was  unseen    and  surprising   for  all  and  even  for  us   because  were  eventually  so  different  in  our  nature .

But   her   strictness  was  requirement   of her  job  and  there  were  less  to  understand  and  accept  it. I  Knew  this  when  later  twice  i got  job  as  principal  of school. Positions   change   our  behaviors   though   not  nature  and  this  goes  with  need  of  the  present  moment.


 I  gave   her   diary   as  gift   and   told  that  i  will  be  calling  her  until  she  give  birth   to  her  baby.She  gave  me  her  number  and  asked  me  for  mine (i  had  none then) There   was  no  chance  to  get  salary  because  i  was  leaving  job  suddenly  in  mid  of month  yet   she  gave  me  salary   from   her  own  pocket   which  i  strongly  refused  to  take  but  she  said  she  will  get  mine  next  month  so  i  should  not  take  it  as favor .


That   day  when   i  was  coming   home   after   saying  goodbye  to  all  in  factory   i  felt  that   i   will   be  missing  this  place   specially   madam. Earning   by   myself   was  my  biggest   dream  since  beginning   which  shrinked  front   of  the  love  of  my  child .


But   what   i  learnt   from   this   job  influenced  my   next   part   of  my life  to  quite  great  extent!


first   of  all  i  learnt  that   i  can   do  so   many  things  that  i  never   thought   i  can   do!


I  learnt  SPEED  ,how   to  work   quickly   and  taking   quick  decision   .

Keeping   mind   ATTENTIVE   all  the  time!

My  observation    skills  developed !


I  learnt   most  striking   thing  that   even   i  can   get   love  from   people  by   simply   following   my  heart!!!

All  these   learning   made   my  life  better  in  coming  years!

I  was  little  wiser  ,patient ,cooperative  and   understanding.

   After  returning   from  there  God  blessed  me  with  two   more   children  in  2003   and  then  in  2006  ,  who  were  so  desired   by  us   and  by  our  eldest   son   as  he  was  starving  for  sibling !


Soon  my   husband   bought   plot  for  separate    house  and  the  more  pleasant  era   of  our   life  started .

I  called   from  pco (public  phone booth)  madam  few  times  until  she   became  mom  of  baby  boy ,she  told  she  is  also  resigning  and  returning   to  Lahore  (her  husband's native city).after  that  were  not  in  contact.


Sorry  for  long  post  dear  friends !

Please  take  great  care ,stay  strong  and positive!

God  Bless  you  All!!!






23 comments:

  1. Work place situations in US are not so different. I guess Competition and jealousy is universal.

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  2. You are so right dear Joe!

    If you step out this feeling rules the world

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  3. Joeh raises a good point, there are many similarities between workplaces throughout the world.

    Your entire story is so interesting. It is fascinating how some seemingly hard people can actually become soft when you get to know them.

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  4. I wonder what she is doing now.

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  5. Thanks for sharing your story, very interesting.

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  6. Your entire story has been so interesting, I've enjoyed each part.
    I do wonder what she may be doing now?

    Lovely posts from you Baili.

    All the best Jan

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  7. A wonderful story full of many kinds of love just as you are. There are many valuable messages here. The first is that you stayed true to yourself and others saw that. You put you family above all else and your family benefited from that. You and your husband worked toward a goal for your family. Both of you sacrificed and in the end you earned what you desired. There are many more but you know what they are.

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  8. I think you did fine. Your kindness and honesty will always work for you in the long run. Just be yourself. No one could ask for more. Other people's problems with you are just that. Their problems.

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  9. It was a very long post but very interesting, so many things are the same as here but a lot are different when I was first married it was the thing to move out of the family home and start your own life not alway easy to do but you had freedom now young couples often are at home because the house prices are so high. I always worked and enjoyed it but the workplace is filled with lots of things that are not fair things have got a lot better now I think.
    Merle........

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  10. I think you made good decisions throughout this time in your life. I'm glad you were eventually able to move to a separate house, and it made your life peaceful once again.

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  11. Very interesting reading of that part of your life.
    You certainly did learn a lot. One door closes and another opens.

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  12. We are always learning, baili.
    When and if we stop, life becoems very boring.
    Have a great week!

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  13. Gosto da forma como expõe os seu problemas e espectativas no trabalho. Em todo o lado é igual, Baili…
    Uma boa semana.
    Beijo.

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  14. I really enjoyed reading about your job experience Baili, I think apart from all that you learned during that time, the girls in the hall learned a lot too - that goodness shines through and that because of your hard work and honest nature, you were popular. It must have been very hard with the in law issues to also have hostility and jealousy from the girls at work. I am so glad you made the decision to go to your husband - there's strength in being together and your son(s) were safe and loved by both. I think the biggest thing that shines through in your story (and also your posts) is your unquestioning faith in God.

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  15. I loved your story, Baili! You and your husband both worked very hard and you were blessed in so many ways. I am so happy for you!

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  16. Very interesting reading, baili! I would guess that you are not the only person who learned important lessons while you were working in that place. You'll never know how you may have changed the attitude, outlook, or behavior of some of the other women, but you were a very good example of a loyal employee, a kind friend, and a hard worker!

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  17. I enjoyed learning about your job, Baili, and how you managed to turn a negative situation into a positive learning experience. It is a story to tell your grandchildren some day......of how you and your husband overcame your hardships and created a beautiful life all your own. Truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing. A hug xo Karen

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  18. Hello dearest Baili, I have now read the three parts of this story. And what a fascinating story it was! It's wonderful that you gained experience and self-confidence from you work. Integrity, honesty, diligence and kind-heartedness often are not appreciated by the unfriendly and inconsiderate people and conflicts may arise. I'm happy you came out as winner.
    Hugs and blessings!

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  19. I read your story with great interest, dear Baili, and could relate it - work environment is not easy anywhere. I think that if you are clear in your intentions, honest in your dealings, and still accept that the world is not always fair or kind, you are doing the best you can.
    Amalia
    xo

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  20. This is a lovely story and it worked out well for you and your hubby in the long run :-)

    Workplace situations can be similar in the UK too. I suppose it is human nature and we are all different.

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  21. We all learn from so many different situations! Our work places are so much similar all over the world! Never change! You are a great person!

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  22. Hi, Baili! I'm sorry that I have been absent for so long. Life has pulled me away from my blogging buddies, and it is taking me a long time to get back with everyone again. I really enjoyed your three-part story about your second job. It all happened because you had the courage to speak to that principal about getting a job. She was wise not to employ you where Ahsan was studying. It can be really hard on the child, especially emotionally. You were wise to be true to you and not to change to please others. I've always thought if you try to change who you are to please others then you are living a lie. On top of everything else, it would be stressful and exhausting to try to be someone you're not. It's always powerful to prove to yourself that you can be independent and stand on your own two feet. Once you realize that you can do that, it's easier to make the sacrifice of choosing to put your son first when he needed you. Thanks for sharing this lovely story ~ I could imagine it all so vividly in my mind. Take care, my friend. Just because I've been away doesn't mean that I had forgotten you. I think of you often, and I hope you, your husband, and sons are doing well!

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  23. I so admired the stand you took when you were offered a ride by that pharmacist, Baili. I felt so angered by those others who were so envious of your promotion. And, I was so happy for you and your son to go to where your husband and his father was instead if staying with your in-laws. Evem though your son’s cut finger was a minor injury, there could have been more serious incidents if he and you remained.

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