Sometimes i feel that i want to step out of that certain sense of harmony with whole scenario of life and universe .But next moment i realize what i would be if i do so ,like a child lost in
crowd ,who is terrified ,lonely and overwhelmed by the fear of not being able to see his parents ever again . I honestly don't know what is wrong with me but from where i see, things have become Crystal clear now . The knot of connection tied to someone invisible around me that i felt ever since i came into my senses (early teens) has been appearing to me strongly .I often remember a sentence from my very first diary where i mentioned this feeling in a way of question, it is (translation) " i feel there is someone near me though i can't see him but i feel his presence , are you the one i
feel Puppoo ?(nickname of my brother who died when i was 4 )
It never go away ,that certain feeling of having someone around me.It kept dominating my being as i grew old .I had loving parents and sweet little sister.I had few friends at school (till today) and many cousins and girlfriends in family and village.So i was never lonely to have imaginary friend .I would write diary to share my thoughts .I would also write lengthy letters to radio programs where they host would read them .May be i have mentioned that once few girls came to meet me and told that they listen same radio program and wanted to know who write such letters .They were elder than me and one of them had aunt lived in my village .
My aim to share this is only that i had many with me and i was happy with my life so having strange feeling that there was someone around me was not self creation at all.
Despite of that "feeling " i felt that i loved being with people. Though with time i learnt that i am not Like most of them .So this made me bit uncomfortable with others often .This discomfort or fear divided me in two persons .One who loves everything including humans and one who wants to keep distance from humans as caution .Reason , because people are of so many kind and more of them become harmful to those who seem vulnerable .
I was vulnerable because i was tied to something Unseen who would seem try to keep me away from complications. Complications that began when we fail to keep balance between spiritual and physical world .Complications that began when we become selfish and forget that OTHERS TOO ARE HUMANS LIKE US AND FEEL THE SAME PAIN AS WE DO WHEN THORN HITS. Complications that began when we forget that One who has created us is keeping eye not just on our actions but on our intentions too .
On the other hand a part of me had resentment and anxiousness that came out occasionally during critical circumstances but only for opposite gender that seemed nothing but threat until my mid forties.Throughout my life i gradually realized Who he was. Despite of my negligence to religion He made me believe that He existed and He is the one Who guards them who cannot guard themselves .
As i told in my some older posts that my life has many miracles.I shared one here when He stopped me to put my eldest son (was two and half then) where i thought was balcony floor but was not. That was first great help from Lord .Later in my life series of mishaps keep happening but He keep saving me and my family from each attempt of harm. He Literally made me believe me that He Exists and cares .
Since we have moved to our new house we have been facing necromancy here . I bet if there was not our Lord with us we would have lost our minds and things would have gone terribly wrong. I don't want to write about this in detail right now as i want to mention it in my book of life if i have life ahead .I will say this only that we have encountered the devil himself directly .Their tricks are not just failing but playing on themselves sometimes because We have most powerful Magician by our side Our Creator !
Now i am in position to understand the pattern of life little bit.He The Lord kept me close and safe for the reason .He saved me and my family members from numerous situations that seem unbelievable. He now brought me the test that so many might get afraid of .Because it seems scary to admit that someone is reading your thoughts ,not just reading but trying to manipulate them to harm you.Someone who lives behind the wall is hurting you hideously and when finds the result opposite unexpectedly with the time ,finds you better person day by day .It makes him annoyed and angry and he speaks loudly so you can understand who is he and where is he ,to seek to come in notice of you ,to provoke anger in you.Surprisingly i smelled this negative energy when i stepped here first time. I remained puzzled about that uneasy feelings that i sensed about them since beginning .I did not know what was the wrong but i knew something was and terribly .I felt anger too and reacted on their open strikes .But how they were effecting our life and mood i had no idea until i turned to meditation and yoga that changed my life for better. But biggest roll played another thing here i think.
My sleeping disturbed and one night i tied my head with my scarf tightly .That was beginning .Tight means really tight that my head bones seems to compressed . That would make me feel better and i would sleep finely. After some months i realized that my ability to understand things grew .This understanding made me feel that my eating habits play really important roll here. I started to eliminate food that was gastric .Such food was weapon in their hands to hurt me i found it later slowly .
Tying my head really tight every night seemed to help me things clearly as time passed.Things not around me but inside my head either. That was most astonishing thing for me to be able to see how that dark power acts in my head .This was new face of life for me believe me ,i never believed in black magic before but here when i am confronted with it i can see what it is, how it can harm us.Being able to detect negative energy in my head and manipulating my thoughts has become a gift. I can easily push it away and keep control on my thinking.
What is satisfying here that once again everything depends on my reaction to all this.My intention was to calm myself gradually. And one thing i knew clearly that no can else help me but Lord.Only he has the power which is supreme and undefeatable . He let you connect with His power when you ask for it .And i asked for it ,I ask for it each day ,moment and breath because it is not about me but my family too. So Lord is showing me His Miracles and i am Stunned and astonished with his Grace upon me!
So my precious friends this is truly miracle that in the middle of fire i find life beautiful like blooming flower .This is the reason for my deepest unshaken faith in Lord !
Blessings to all of you !
Thanks for sharing your thoughts today and your feeling of connection with a higher being. It is good.
ReplyDeleteI believe you. I experienced this in my life too. Jesus is the only thing that set me free. I actually felt the presence leave when I called out to Jesus. I can tell you more details if you like.
ReplyDeletedear Sandi
Deletethis is so kind of you share your experience with me ,i am sorry for late response as we had to visit Sukkur city for some shopping and got back late evening
i would love to hear from you if you like my friend ,it can help me to not just understand it more but to realize that there is another person who does not hesitate to share his deepest heart
Baili, I sent it to your email.
DeleteSounds like you are very connected to God and that you trust your inner voice/guidance. I think that writing, drawing, sewing, whatever the thing we enjoy doing, as long as we do so with good intention, it's a gift and should be shared - it's lovely to read that your letters have been read on the radio in the past.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Christine. Thank you for sharing such deep thoughts and emotions.
ReplyDeleteBaili, I believe that we should always trust our inner spirit to guide us to do the right thing and believe we all have one, although some ignore it.
ReplyDeleteI so appreciated your recent happy birthday wishes on my post and that you enjoyed the information about the song too. I learn so much just by sharing with others. I also learn much from what you share with everyone. Thank you, my friend.
From experience I can tell you that it is important to share the evil that is going on around you. By that I mean that anyone involved needs to talk about it to others involved. Evil relies on secrecy and fear. It feeds on fear and a person who is afraid feels more isolated and more fearful. Your love of God is a powerful weapon against those feelings. Stay strong.
ReplyDeletei agree with you that such people with negative tricks try to ingest fear in you as deep as possible
Deletebut what to do that i am the way i am since i was child ,i remember when grandma would tell stories of supernatural things she would encounter on the way to home from grocery that was miles and miles away from her home ,it would get dark to reach back from that long journey ,i never had nightmares or felt fear like other cousins and i truly honestly don't know why ,when i say i was not like others in many ways it means there are lots of things that seemed weird to others but i know (now) that was some inner support from the DIVINE ENERGY whom i always SEARCHED AND FOUND IN EVERYTHING INCLUDING WITHIN ME
when i am being target i still feel sorry for those who are such short sighted and witless and try ti find peace in things that can give them only timely fun but peace never ever ,i sense their desperation and helplessness in all tricks they apply to me ,i am not afraid of them nor anything else i never was ,i fear only from my Creator and i don't want him to loose at any cost
How interesting to read your blog and your happenings.
ReplyDeleteTake care.
So beautiful, that is so important to share these experiences especially with someone who may be in doubts. I think every believer sometimes experience a miracle presence of God, which make us more calm. That was wonderful to read, stay safe and healthy everyone!
ReplyDeleteHi Baili :) This was such an interesting post to read. :) I'm so glad you feel that life is a blooming beauty amongst all of the ugliness out there! :) I feel the same way! :)
ReplyDeleteA strong faith can be comforting in one’s life for sure.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you too Baili.
ReplyDeleteAll the best Jan
You are truly blessed, the supreme power is looking after you.
ReplyDeleteI know 'He' led us to meet each other.
I am glad we met your words inspire me and confirm some uncomfortable things that have happened to me.
Thanks for sharing all of this my friend! Sending you blessings! Big Hugs!
ReplyDeleteMy older brother died still a baby.
ReplyDeleteNever knew him.
Have a great week
i am sorry for this dear Pedro
Deletei know it is hard to get out of it in life time
Você consegue superar os seus problemas porque tem força anímica para o fazer, porque tem fé. Gostei de ler o seu texto. Trouxe-nos muito para reflexão.
ReplyDeleteUma boa semana com muita saúde.
Um beijo.
Very interesting post, Baili! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
ReplyDeletei really enjoyed reading this and also about your miracle with your son and the balcony floor. wow. i definitely have had times in my life that I listened to that inner voice in me (some call it the HOly spirit) and it kept me from apparent danger up ahead in different ways. My most amazing one was with one of my sons also (too long of a story to put in a comment here) . I am soo grateful for those times in my life I have listened to the guidance and followed through - some would call it intuition, I call it guidance from a realm i cannot see.
ReplyDeletethank you so much dear Sandy for such warm response ,it lifted my heart indeed
Deletehow nice you too are one of those who feel the energy that guard and guide us when we look for it knowingly or unknowingly
i would thoroughly love to hear story about how this worked for you specially regarding your dear child ,you can share it in your post if it is okay for you
i had been looking for this divine realm when i even did not know what it was ,which seems to installed within my genes (what else i can say honestly) ,i realized it gradually and it is really hard for me to explain how strongly i feel it around me and within me ,my life would have been completely different if it was not there to guide me because i know i was not that smart to understand ,face and deal with circumstances that could have hurt me in worst way
I SO relate - the main passion in my life (besides my family) has always been reading, meditating, contemplating, looking for the divine expression everywhere in nature ...well everywhere - in a song, a cat, a human - It's always there because the substance of who we are even in "matter" - It's really the substance of Spirit. I always think of Holy Spirit as Wholly Spirit - God's wholeness, harmony, beauty, peace, Love, Light - it's the substance of everything. So when i look and invite that awareness in, what shows up is always filled with Love of God's Holy Spirit. I could go on and on - I swear if you and I ever had time to have lunch and chat i think it would be such a great experience. I love your passion for the Divine.
Deleteoh i had no idea that you left response to my reply dear Sandy
Deletehow can i define my deepest joy when friend like you shares same thoughts and emotions i have since always
it gives me confidence and strengthen my soul as i feel so normal when i know there are people who felt the same way ,who found Him in His each creation ,this connection is hard to explain specially when it comes to person like me who is not much learned but i am so happy and so serene that He kept me among those to whom he choose to look for Him ,even i know for others it does not matter but for me it is success that stays higher than all my worldy achievements
I love your "spirit" .
DeleteOh thank you so much for sharing this experience, dearest Baili...it has helped me too feel a lot less "odd" too!
ReplyDeleteI have encountered these kind of unseen presences ever since my childhood. The earliest one was when I used to regularly see a circle of women in hooded robes circling my bed and chanting in a foreign language. It terrified me, so I used to dive under my bed covers and block my ears.
Also, during my first pregnancy, I encountered a dense black "something" which descended upon me and it felt like it was trying to push through my head into my body and take possession of me. I prayed really hard, and then it withdrew, leaving me feeling very weak and shaken.
I have always been aware of "dead" people around me, and that is the reason I decided to train to become a medium...I wanted to understand the strange experiences that I was often having, and that others didn't seem to have.
It is really good to hear that you have very similar experiences to me! It brings a wonderful feeling of connection!😊😊
Have a great day and stay safe, my amazing friend 🙏🙏🙏
Much love and hugs ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
dearest Ygraine thank you so much for sharing your personal experience with me ,
Deletei used to have bad dreams during my last two pregnancies ,i would see that i am standing beside the edge of deep well ,edge would feel sandy and silky ,i would feel as i slipped and falling into the well ,and i would wake up suddenly ,with satisfaction that it was dream i would fell asleep after while
the dark thing you mentioned ,i experienced it on my head only once when the spell was being cast most probably ,we were new to this house ,that night i felt whisperers in my years which became louder when i tried to avoid ,i was laying with hubby so i did not move much and started to recite holy verses ,that i felt my head was turning on side ,i would try to keep it straight hard and i believed strongly ,deeply that whatever it is is far weaker before my Lord to whom i am devoted completely , i felt better and even stronger when that thing passed , all such attempts made me more aware of this negative thing and made me stronger by the grace of Lord!
You always give us much to think about. Stay safe and well!
ReplyDeleteAmalia
xo
This was a powerful post, Baili! During my life I have met a number of people, a few who have been close friends, who are sensitive to things that are beyond my ability to feel or experience. I think of it like sound waves. Some people can hear sounds that I can't. They perceive a wider range of sound than many people can hear. Just because I can't hear those sounds doesn't mean they don't exist. They do, I just can't perceive them. The fact that you could sense Puppoo and have felt other spiritual presences is a special gift and blessing you have. It's wonderful! I believe that God has protected me a number of times during my life when I was in danger or in difficult times, even if I can't perceive it the way you do. I remember being told by a close friend once that I have angels all around me. She could see/feel them even though I couldn't. The thought that they were/are there comforts me. So I must rely on faith, bolstered by accounts of what other people, like you, have experienced. I'm sorry you are feeling malevolence around you. And I am happy that you feel God's presence strengthening and helping you. I will pray that this evil presence leaves your home. Focus on those lovely flowers that your hubby planted ~ they are God's smiles. Hugs to you, my friend!
ReplyDeletepeople who travel inwardly can learn about worlds that exist within and around them miraculously dear Louise ,i think this is the Gift for appreciating life ,feeling grateful to mysterious force who is responsible for it and Longing for to be in connection with it
ReplyDeletei am not much learned but i can say that people who live by soul not just physically can sense presence of Divine energy and have ability to recognize the presence of good or bag energy near them .
you are blessed that though you think that you cannot feel that divine presence yet This divine presence is connected to you and may be because of that Longing you have for it withing Unknowingly ,and therefore it is proving it's presence to you so you can acknowledge His Care and Love for yourself.
all i learnt that He is just one call away from us and from you ,the one call that you will say for Him and He will respond you in astonishing way and you will realize how easy and beautiful it was and this will bring you eternal peace that will saty with you no matter what until you breath .
💖🙏🥰 Thank you, dear Baili!
Delete