Sunday, September 25, 2011

love yourself

hey friends hope all of you are celebrating your victory against time,
each step you take up for next try is a victory because dreams give you desire but it is always a effort which leads you towards success,

day is beautiful ,airy and bright as always,today i want to share a story of graceful lady whom i met long time ago when moved from village to the city and took a side portion of upper story of a huge house on rent,that sweet lady was the daughter in law of her land lady,the lady must be really pretty in her youth,she was 70 plus,but still active and smart,behind her thick eye glass she possibly can reach one's soul,she was over all nice and gentle,but so many habit of her'swere weird

she spent all of her time in detecting others,everyone in the house knew that there is less possibility to keep anything secret from her,she was long time widow and had three sons,she owned house and other property and this was a reason that her sons obeyed her even when it was not correct,

her eldest son left the house when her tow wives left him because of his mother's absolutely wrong behaviour,he got married third time and moved to other city,second son of her's had a relationship with a woman for many years and had even one boy and one daughter but had no courage to bring the woman in house or merry her to give her and kids rights,his girlfriend often used to fight and break the stuff of his hotel,

unluckily third son was married for more then 18 years and his wife was living in the same house without meeting her son for more then 12 years,when i saw her she was 30 years old very charming lady,her personality was impressive,in first look she was neat and beautiful,and after having her few sitting i found her wonderfully positive person,her eyes had a reflection of her inner peace,

when she shared her heart with me i was shocked to see the depth of positive attitude which gave her strength to survive in such stressful environment,she told me that she belong to a middle class family and her inlaws are very rich people,from the first day the behaviour of her mother in law showed that she is here just to fulfil the position and has no right to use anything according to her own will,she decided to go with the flow because as a woman she accepted the man her respected husband and the house as her own home which she can leave in one condition of DEATH,
her husband was a puppet in his mother's hand,and even in the earlier days of her marriage he used to sleep in separate room and came to her only when his mom let him to come,she said meanwhile her mother in law stayed outside their room waiting for her son,and it was too painful to bear when he left her alone after some time,

when she got pregnant she was hopeful that her husband will certainly change behaviourarranged doctors to put her uterus ,and brought a little boy in house ,she used to tell people that her daughter gave birth twins,he was 7 then and not allowed to be with the both sisters,oforld lady looked after him personally and feed him with fear and hate against her and her daughters,
his children,but when first daughter born she was accused for being good for nothing,and enemy of the family as she did not gave birth to a boy,with her second daughter her mother in law
since her second girl born ,she did not meet her husband,old lady watch over so carefully and when he returns in evening she stays with all the time,and during the night she sleeps on a sofa placed in lounge even they sleep in different stories she still has fear to loose her son,

she told me that in beginning thing were hard to bear though she was always a god's person and remain cool when see people like old lady around who enjoy humiliating others,she said I thinks people like my mother in law faces pretty stressed situations in life,and treated crucially by others,according to her the behaviour of old lady was the result of cruel behaviour of her late husband who married her to happy his father but never treated her lovingly as she was not highly educated and fashionable,to make his dream true he married a movie actress and moved another city after four year of marriage,

so she was living happily and bringing her kids up with positivity,i admire her for her faith and healthy attitude,otherwise i seen people suffering with self-pity and losing confidence,i dont know what you guys think about her but i respect her for her bravery friends.


  1. lovely post! these pictures are amazing!
    i wish you a wonderful week!
    maren anita

  2. I believe she should get herself educated and learn to stand on her own feet to support herself and her children, rather than putting up with such heartless people... But then I do understand it is easier said than done.

  3. Nice piece ov writing - so touching - why mother-in-law is such a horrible character always - em scared ov getting married :-|

    love x

  4. Very moving, I really enjoyed this post and loved the image of that lone buttercup.

  5. The joint family system is a blessing for some people, but for many - it's just a terrible reality.

    When a lady is "BAHOO," she talks bad about her "SAAS," yet when the same lady becomes "SAAS," she starts blaming and cursing her "BAHOO" claiming-- the 'bahoo' is so bad.

    In actuality, it's the person's own nature.

    Under no circumstances, unfairness should ever be tolerated.
    Positive attitude in some cases becomes a hurdle in fixing the "chronically bad person"---be it spouse or saas or whoever.

    Nice thought provoking post!

  6. i agree with you tariq sahab,joint family system is a painful reality for most of daughter in laws,

    after marriage when i moved from the lovely hazara to hot dry sindh i got one room to live which was big but i was not able to see sky,i managed to adjust with all changes but my mom in law was very difficult person to live with,all my efforts to win her heart went waste of time her behaviour with me including other tow in law daughters was tough and unpredictable,her 24 hours were dedicated to create problem for us i was little different then others like i was less sharp and and spend my spare time in reciting,reading, writing,or watching tv rather then shopping or visiting to friends,so i became easy target,

    would you believe me that 16 years which i spent in that house with her i was not allowed to sleep properly,even in nights it happened so so many times that i needed to go bathroom but stayed still as once i will be seen awake by her she will not let me sleep till morning,

    it made me almost sick i lost my confidence and felt all the time weak and absent mind,until my husband made a separate house three years ago,and i am getting normal by the time,

    though her childhood had crucial realities but it was not my fault,i still visit her in a months and try to cheer her up as she is the mom of my dear husband.

  7. Baili... my mum suffered the same - i can understand, we were too young so have not any glimp ov that - but my mum use to share quite often-- :(

    you are brave and have a kind heart... ppl can b bad than this-- no humanity in them - why forget that she is a female.... ahh sad

    i love you so so so very much *hugs*

  8. so sweet of you dear shama may god bless you from any harm,hugs and kisses to you too

  9. inlaws are weird. i want to marry somebody without a family:p

  10. haha nai, live in a seprate house, i want to do that . i realize that uts not easy but one should do what makes them happy

  11. Both joint and nuclears come with their pros and cons.
    But we should really admire the lady. What a strong heart <3

  12. thank you so much for your comments, every day and always: THANKS!!!, honey!
    maren anita


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