Our wisdom is our torch given to us so we can see what to pick and what to avoid. But sadly the light is limited and we keep it on things we think matter ,rest of the reality remains in dark .
Hubby and me are watching a show these days in which host Wasi Shah a well known Pakistani poet takes interviews of successful popular people from different professions including media celebrities. In the last segment of his show he asks his guests about some regrets they have. This question reminds me few mistakes that affected my life tremendously at this point of my life!
We all know that we all born with no knowledge but ability to learn as we grow. I was curious about everything around me which made me want to learn more and more. I had a really wise ,strong and loving mother and father who would love to read digests ,books,magazines and news papers in all his spare time. But none of that could stop me to harm myself unknowingly sadly 😔 . As little girl I saw my parents taking tea excessively and I followed them . I would take three to five cups of milk tea everyday. Luckily milk was in abundance as my grandparents had buffaloes and cow and goats. But the tea wasn’t something to consume by children of my age as often. I remember though my parents forbidding me from taking tea in such amount,mother specially but I wouldn’t listen . For me tea was more important than meals.It was addiction. This long time addiction weakened my bones slowly that’s what I realise now. Specially my habit of taking tea along or right after meal. Our recent doctor in Al Shifa International Hospital Islamabad told that drinking any type of liquid tea particularly omits the nutrients absorb in blood stream. This was like someone pulled out the ground under my feet. I never thought about that. I suddenly remembered that I was as addicted to strong tea that sometimes I would add raw tea powder to my cup and lid it for while! I should have been more investigative about my eating habits. I missed it 😒. May be this is called destiny. We been created aligned with so many possibilities. It’s up to us what we choose or what we avoid. I know there is no way to change what has happened.But since I know the truth now I am being cautious if it helps to some extent.
I made another dangerous mistake due to my ignorance. It started in 2011 when I went through a worse trauma of my life as my younger sister didn’t inform me about the death of my father and I learned it from others after fifteen day after his funeral.. Heartbroken and lost when I realised it was difficult to pull myself together I tried to look for mental peace in reading holy boo everyday.. When I felt that it’s working I continued it till last year 2024. I didn’t notice that sitting in certain position for two hours daily can affect my legs badly. And one day my right knee went slightly dislocated. Doctor said that my right knee is slightly fractured and overall all my bones have weakened because I have osteoarthritis. Then again I remembered that I didn’t take it seriously when our family doctor who has treated my stomach ulcer has warned me sixteen years ago that all body joints will be retired within four years. I took no care except treating my uric acid twice . Life was full of many things that kept me away from thinking about my own health. Now when I am on the edge of being on wheelchair I am trying hard to sustain my mobility with improved eating habits and exercise. I wonder how long I will be able to protect myself from falling but I know I am very honest with my efforts to resist!
Couldn’t find my own picture so this is from google images to show you the sitting position I was in for thirteen years .
I know everyone has different challenges to cope with.These are mine. I am positive about life and my faith in My Creator is deep rooted in my soul! Who has done many miracles in my life so I hope He will continue to help me this time as well 😊
A week ago I finished this novel of Michael Connlley The Narrows . It was suspense thriller story of a cop who investigates the murder of a former colleague and friend . I really enjoyed his interesting way of telling story.The story revolves between Los angels and Los vegas and suburban area. So it was good to learn more about cities through the perspective of the writer.
Thank you for bearing with me dear friends,your support is my strength 🥰
See you soon,health,peace and happiness to you all and to all who you love 🥰♥️
A very interesting post dear Baili. I never knew that tea can affect the absorption of vitamins and minerals that keep the bones strong. I never drank much tea in my life time. My DH on the other hand likes to drink tea and lately I've been joining him in nightly ritual for relaxation and to keep warm at night. I too have osteo so I now have to wonder if maybe I should reduce the tea or cut it out altogether. Are you still drinking tea? Also I didn't realize that sitting cross legged would be bad for you. I thought it might help you to keep your joints and muscles limber and stretched. I guess because you did it for such long periods, it was more harmful. I use a stick or at least I carry one daily with me when I go out. That way if I have too much pain or weakness I will use my stick to give me some support. It really helps. I recommend it to you too if you do not already use one. Take care dear Baili.
ReplyDeleteBig thanks for your lovely comment dear Joyful special thanks for sharing your experience!
DeleteI started to take tea just for joining my parents at younger age ( around ten or below) without having any clue how dangerous it is for delicate bones of small kids. I continued this routine of taking tea three to five cups a day for more than forty years. Worst part I took it along the food or right after it. Yes in my fifties now I happened to know that taking tea or any liquid of large amount restrain the mineral,iron and other nutrients absorb in the blood because according to the doctor when we swallow food our food pipe and stomach starts to produce some essential acids to break it down so food can be processed through various stages of digestion and absorption in the body. But when we take tea or water or any other liquid with meal or immediately after eating it rushes into the food which stops stomach to produce acid and therefore whole scenario of proper absorption is disturbed completely. I take two cups of tea with less tea powder used and I have quit taking tea in the morning empty stomach or with breakfast.i take it one and half hour after the breakfast now. We left night tea six to seven years ago when we realised it was affecting our sleep. Instead we take green tea for relaxation two hours after lunch and one hour after dinner.
As the ignorant doesn’t need an enemy to destroy him ,he is his own enemy!
Similarly is the story of my sitting in correct posture for reading holy book but that correct thing went wrong because of long duration of time sadly.
I am sorry that you too suffer from same condition my friend!
Were you too recommended surgery or knee replacement?
Thanks to dear friend Sue who shared a therapist video I am doing that exercise daily and feeling better enough to walk around easily and without support so far.
My better eating habits have helped me as well.
Sending you much love and best wishes 🥰♥️
Thank you for the further explanation Baili. It is helpful. Yes, I am supposed to have knee surgery but for several reasons the specialist would not do surgery now. For one he said I was too young. So I began to try and do many other things to alleviate the pain. I find with osteoarthritis that some days are better than other days and with proper exercise and so on I can go long periods with no obvious discomfort. But the process is up and down. Sending you lots of love and health too dear one.
DeleteOh, it is a bit of a wakeup call, remembering habits of the past that we didn't know would be so significant. Thanks for the post. You give us all a lot to think about from our lives. Just don't doubt yourself now. You are taking many steps for treatments. Remember the good things you are doing for yourself too. 🌸🌸💗💗💗🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸 Thank you for reading and thank you for your comments. All the best to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThanks dear Ellie 🥰
DeleteYes this is what I wrote about that at current times we hardly realise the significance of certain things like poor eating habits, bad choices of food or negative attitude towards life or people. We keep living in wrong decisions unconsciously and forget that each single step leaves its footprints which follow us always and most of the time we have to face the consequences.
Thankfully I am fortunate to born with positive mindset and positive approach towards life ,people and everything around. My faith in God doesn’t let me fall into pessimism or negativity by the grace of God!🥹
I believe I will go through this as well hopefully 😊
It's so easy to make health mistakes when we don't know any better. We've all got bad habits that sometimes have resulted in lifelong consequences. I know that's true for me too!
ReplyDeleteSorry dear Debra that you have something bothering as well !!!
ReplyDeleteYes life and knowledge about life is boundless and it’s impossible to see everything with tiny torch in hand. Saddest part is that despite the continuous warnings of parents and hubby I couldn’t realise the danger. I can’t find the name for such carelessness . Today I can’t get angry at my kids when they don’t realise how serious situation can be if they don’t change eating habits. Our food culture is harmful for new generation specially as they take cold drinks excessively and with fast food.it’s really frightening
Why didn't your sister tell you? You have told us this story a while back, but I don't recall if you explained why she did it.
ReplyDeleteI think forgiving her would lift a huge weight off of your heart, but I would bet you already have forgiven her because that is your nature.
Thank you dear friend Sandi ♥️
DeleteThe only reason behind her cruel behaviour I can understand is differences between our nature as humans and as sisters. Otherwise she knows I have loved her like my own child since I was growing up with her. I would stop my mother to scolding her as she was naughty and modesty disobedient to our parents.
I supported throughout the life in small and big times of need unconditionally.
Even when she insulted me again and again without any reason and she was being criticised for such unfair behaviour by family and relatives even her own friends,she would blame me for everything and blame was only one that I don’t stop to advising her.
She contacted me after more than ten years and straight she asked for financial help. I didn’t even remind her what she had been doing to me. But only thought came in my mind was that she is in trouble and we have to help her.
How can I forgive her when there is not a single negative thing in my heart for her with the grace of God!
I have asked her few times in my life that she hats me the reason which is not created by me. But nature has made us different so we can pass this test only when we understand it as nature’s plan and accept and respect this difference . Keeping in mind that we are blood sisters and love each other. She unfortunately was never into learning so this restrain her from comprehension of things in broader perspective. I will be loving her always because this is how I am made.
❤️
DeleteStay positive.
ReplyDeleteYes the only way out 👍
DeleteYou have taken positive steps to take care of your body now. I admire that.
ReplyDeleteDear friend Emma this is the biggest miracle that when we focus on positive side with strong faith in Creator,He starts to show us ways and let us understand how to make things work in worst conditions
DeleteI did not know that tea was so harmful. I have taken actonel to improve bone density.
ReplyDeleteThanks dear Red for sharing your experience
DeleteI realised that every medication for treatment has negative side effects which puzzled me whether I should take it or avoid it because in the long run all medicines cause serious harm to other organs
Dear Baili
ReplyDeleteReflections in the Quiet Light
The torch we hold may flicker dim,
And miss the edges, faint and grim.
We choose our steps with earnest grace,
Yet still may stumble, lose our place.
A cup of tea, so warm, so sweet,
Became a friend too oft to meet.
Who knew that comfort, sipped in youth,
Could one day rob the bones of truth?
And kneeling long in sacred pause,
In search of peace, in prayerful cause—
The soul grew strong, but limbs grew sore,
Till joints could serve the heart no more.
We all have chapters marked with pain,
Regrets like footprints in the rain.
But what a strength, to face them clear,
To name them with both hope and fear.
For still you rise with steady will,
To fight, to walk, to heal, be still.
Your faith, a root that won’t let go,
Still blossoms in life’s ebb and flow.
So here’s to all you’ve shared and learned,
To bridges crossed and pages turned.
May healing come with each new day,
And joy still find you on the way.
John
Tears falling down my eyes dear John 🥹🥹🥹🙏
DeleteMany thanks for your such a wonderful and uplifting poem 👍🥰
You indeed are such an inspiration and incredibly talented person who can write such motivational poems in snap of fingers bravo for your exceptionally creative mind and kind ,supportive soul!!!!!
I feel truly blessed to have such kind blogging friends 🥹🥰🤗
Yes the only thing that gives me hope and strength to move forward is my heart who keeps saying that I have done harm to no one but always tried to support all around regardless they are familiar or strangers because from where I see no one is stranger. So my heart makes me hopeful that Creator who is within and around and sensing everything will help me to go through it successfully 🥹🤞♥️
Thanks again for sweet heartwarming gesture!
God bless you 🙏
Dear Baili, First of all, let me thank you for your kind reply. I speak to you now not as a man, not as an American, but as a fellow human being. I do not recall how I found you in the blogosphere … it was a long time ago … but it was fortunate for me … I continue to be blessed by you. Why? Because I truly believe you are one who has reached a level of awareness that we, as humans, should all be striving to achieve. Let me give you an example: you said, “… Creator who is within and around and sensing everything will help me to go through it successfully.” Like us, many have realized that the Creator, having created all of everything, must, therefore, simply be within all of us, AND, if we listen carefully, that little voice within, will guide us to success in this life. Although it would seem obvious, many still do not understand or recognize it. I call the process we are going through “becoming aware.” I say all of this just to let you know I appreciate you and commend you on your journey. I doubt that we shall ever meet in person, but we will in the hereafter and what a nice chat we shall have at that moment. 😊 God bless you. John
DeleteDear John honestly I don’t have words to respond your kindness 🥹
DeleteThank you for finding some good in my simple words my friend! This is truly something exceptional and nice for me as just “me” I will keep this comment of yours as my personal identity because this is I feel I am and nothing else I want to be ever but a human who can never forget all the favour of his Creator who send him here. His biggest favour is to let me see him in every creation and within. It makes rest easy. I see universe as my home and all in it my fellows 🥹🥰
Maybe this is what you felt in my words and for this I am grateful to God and thankful to you 🥹🙏🥰
I pray for all and all the time so they too can see the truth and love each other as humans regardless of anything!!!
God bless you too🙏
I'm sorry you are experiencing these effects now, but sometimes we have to come to our own realization of how our habits affect us in order to make changes. I have struggled with excess weight for years, but all my tests and health markers have been fine . . . until a few months ago. Now I am facing issues caused by my obesity and kicking myself for not taking to heart what I read about for years and years. So, you are not the only one, my friend :)
ReplyDeleteSorry to read of your health issues, it's difficult when young to heed the warnings of what will come in later life. Despite that, we are only human and it's not easy to give up something that makes us happy - especially tea! I drink a lot of it.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for kind words dear Betty 🥰
DeleteYou are so right about that at young age it seems impossible to see further and realise how bad can be things if we didn’t pay attention to the warnings of our loved ones 😂
I can’t reverse time nor my regrets can change anything.but it’s true that it really hurts that I am the responsible for the damage I caused myself 🥹
Worst part that I was being warned but no one offered some practical knowledge about the matter. Maybe they too weren’t aware that only warning can’t help. Now when I suggest something to my children I say that you can search the link of topic or find the article online. It wasn’t that easy back then.
I hope the tea mixture you use is not that harmful for bones my friend. Nor it restrain the iron absorption in blood!
These two sides affect of the tea we use around here lead to severe diseases unknowingly which is really sad 😔
Precious friend Jenny ♥️
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your experience my friend!
I am really sorry for you too are coping with such serious health issues!
Your words reminded me one of my classmates who was obese.her name was nagina (pearl) she was so pretty but she had some kind of disease that made her obese in her mid teens. I sometimes wonder what she faced in life.
I also felt very inspired that despite such problem you have been incredible support for your family 👍🥰♥️
This is not joke because I can imagine the struggle and pain you might be faced while doing so. This is strange that your reports are fine and no genetic issue is detected which can be the reason behind it.
Taking things on heart serves no purpose except we feel sad and low which allows our negative side to take over and rest is obvious.So please 🙏🙏🙏🙏 please don’t think about what is lacking my dear friend.focus what you can do in restricted situation. Imagine if you are running ahead because beast is following you,looking back can weaken your senses because you don’t have power over him and can feel fear only which can cause you fall before the time.so focusing on your steps you taking is the only option that can help. Our mind is raw thing an energy that knows nothing about what we should do. It’s us who should have power to compose this energy and give direction which we want to go. It’s not my thought it’s scientifically proven fact. The more your mental energy in your control the better your body will function!
Thinking of you my friend 🥹🥰♥️
I know you are right - this is very good advice and I will try to keep it at the top of my mind - thank you, baili.
DeleteThe most proven scientific fact and my personal experience as well that focusing on positive side makes your brain produce more neurons that create fresh connections to strengthen your mind and body. Focusing on negative side work in opposite direction totally,so keep this in mind firmly please
ReplyDeleteI believe this to be so, but it is also the way to be happier in life whether it helps physically or not!
DeleteDear Jenny I know it may sound crazy to you but I have experienced this miracle in my life that visualisation of your desired condition affects our brain in positive way tremendously which results in physical transformation to some extent miraculously though not fully may be but you will see that when you train your mind see yourself in desired position and with absolute faith,your body responds to it slowly and changes first you feel within and then physically as well.best times for such meditation are when you are about to sleep or just woke up.
DeleteThis is God’s gift to all of us as no energy is static but able to transform when we are willing to.
Hugs♥️
I will be trying this at bedtime - thank you for the suggestion. That's the time of day I feel most lonely, so this will be helpful in several ways.
DeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts my friend 🥰
DeleteLoneliness can be a gift if we are willing to use it for personal grooming whether physically or mentally dear Jenny . It’s natural that at certain points in life we are alone.nature has kept this part for each of us and for the reason I believe. At first it’s painful and heartbreaking.but once we embrace it it’s our best friend who teaches us us lot and reveals things that we might never understand otherwise
Live and learn, dear baili.
ReplyDeleteEven from our mistakes.
Or maybe especially from our mistakes, not to make them again.
Totally agree dear Pedro
DeleteVery true 👍
Baili, sorry to read about your continuing knee pain and osteoarthritis. As you know from my recent posts, I injured my left knee in recent weeks and an X-Ray showed patellar sublaxation, which I was told was a dislocated knee cap. After going for an orthopedics evaluation today, I was instructed to go for physical therapy where I would learn how to exercise the leg and hopefully in time the issue will be resolved. At this point, no surgery or any type of leg brace is needed, but a cane may be useful depending on the decision of the physical therapist. My first appointment is next week.
ReplyDeleteIt was interesting to read that tea drinking and sitting in a cross-legged fashion could also be contributors to your own issues. I hope that the change in diet and exercise will help you, my friend.
Dear Dorothy ♥️
ReplyDeleteThank you once again for your update regarding your knee injury, sorry for you got injured !!!
This sounds relieving that in your case no surgery or even brace is required 🙏
The only thing you need is physio therapy and you will recover soon hopefully 🤞🥰
I was almost forced to go for surgery in Al shifa international hospital recently. But my instinct didn’t allow me to get convinced at all. I believe that slightly dislocated knee cap can be dealt with proper work out probably!
And I hardly noticed that complete recovery is possible after surgery. Most of the people face similar pain and discomfort within no time.
Inside our body like universe around us everything is connected and depends upon each other for well being which takes us long long time to understand sadly.
Stay strong and positive my friend and take good care of yourself 🥰
I am so sorry to read about your health issues. I know you are a strong woman and will find a way to heal and carry on. Bless you.
ReplyDeleteWisdom comes with age. We know better with time and do better.
ReplyDeleteYou always make me think, dear Baili. It is such a gift you have and a blessing to us, your readers,
It’s your own wisdom dear Marie that you find in my simple words
DeleteHá hábitos que adquirimos sem nos apercebermos que podem não ser os melhores para a nossa saúde. Gostei deste seu post que me fez pensar naquilo que faço de errado e mais tarde me arrependerei. Obrigada.
ReplyDeleteTudo de bom.
Um beijo.
Well said dear Grace!
DeleteI hope your regrets have made you do something about the situation and get better
Blessings
Dear Baili, so sorry to read about your continuing knee pain and osteoarthritis.
ReplyDeleteThis does seem to affect many as we get older.
Hopefully the changes in your diet and the exercises you do will be helpful.
Stay strong and positive.
I send my very good wishes to you.
All the best Jan
Thanks dear Jan♥️
ReplyDeleteYes diet and exercise are helpful by the grace of God!
Dear Baili - My late mother used to say in her late years that we must get along with aches and pains caused by ageing. No one is perfect. When we learn or realize something, we can slow down the process with our self-maintenance when it’s possible and with medication if necessary. By the way, don’t we feel stronger the wonder of living as we grow older? Take care.
ReplyDeleteYoko
You certainly are blessed with wise and enlightened mother dear Yoko🥰
DeleteYes I agree that Creator’s plan is flawless.he has fixed certain phases of life for different reasons for sure. As children we are full of awe and wonder,curious and eager to learn. Youth is to apply all the learning and get something useful out of it. No time to reflect on what is happening. Older age provides an opportunity to slow down and sit quietly to realise what has been happening until now. This contemplation results in sense of peace sometimes but sometimes it brings some regrets in mind ,things that could have been avoided but then we knew nothing about it. Wisdom is most beautiful gift for one heart ,a light that shines over your world and shows you where to move and when to stop 🥹🥰
Thank you for sharing such a personal and reflective story. It’s remarkable how your journey has led you to this realization about the impact of small habits on our lives. The wisdom that comes from recognizing our mistakes and learning from them is truly invaluable. I can relate to the idea of habits forming over time without us fully understanding their long-term consequences. It’s a reminder that our choices, even seemingly small ones, have the potential to shape our future in ways we might not realize. It’s inspiring how you’ve taken this knowledge and are now being more cautious about your health.
ReplyDeleteI recently wrote a post about fostering body confidence, and how understanding our bodies and taking better care of ourselves plays a crucial role in developing that confidence. You might enjoy it: https://www.melodyjacob.com/2025/05/body-confident-you-body-confident-kid-book-review.html
IT was interesting to read you Baili . I learned things I neer knew. I so hope you regain good mobility in whatever way you find that will help you. I, too, regret things I did. One was smoking for almost 35 years, quite a bit. I saw relatives have to go on oxygen, etc. even my mom and dad. Finally in 2009 I thought - that's it. I won't put my kids through seeing me on oxygen. I quite and I started hiking in the foothills behind our house. I remember reading Wayne Dyer who is the one who said, When you change the way you think of something, what you think about will change. So I changed the idea that I would never be able to quit such a habit to, hey it will be easy to quit. Amazingly, I quit very easily and now in my 70's i don't feel like I ever smoked. It's amazing when whatever it is or however,, you find your "own" way of dealing with things you will definitely heal. You are very spiritually inclined and have good faith and I know you are going to get much better.That is so sad the way you found out about your father's death. That had to be so traumatic. I wish you all the best and glad you enjoyed that book and learning a bit about Los Angeles and Las Vegas. Instead of a wedding my husband and I took out for Las Vegas in 1971 to get married. Tomorrow will be our 54th anniversary and if the heavy fog lifts, we are going about an hour and a half away to a different mountain town I love, Oak Glen, and will enjoy a nice day with dinner out.
ReplyDeleteDear Sandy you indeed were blessed to have this realisation which made you quit smoking and live healthier life with positive activities. Not everyone is as fortunate. Both are my parents did smoking. My mom quit before her forties but father didn’t till the end sadly. You got very strong will power like my mom 🥰👍
ReplyDeleteThank you from the bottom of my soul my friend for showing such deep faith in me.this makes me emotional 🥹 I feel truly blessed to have such amazingly generous and loving friends in blog land!!!
If I insist to stress on that point that my younger sister caused me such misery because it was her who put me in such painful situation which made me lost in trauma for years and this brought me to the daily recitation for which I sat with bending legs for thirteen years regularly. But I will never say that because my faith in my God is deepest and I believe that whatever happens is for the reason. My life changed forever and I looked for peace of mind which made me journey inwardly. I felt huge difference over my years and it’s not just me.many around me including hubby acknowledged that I was changed for better. I can go on with positive things happened to me because of that regular meditation but I stop here.
How exciting that you and your husband got married in Los Vegas. It sounds city full of fun and enthusiasm 🤗♥️
I just love your outlook on life!! You are loved by so many in blog land. I can see that when I read the comments. Keep being your inspiring self - we all gain by what you write. You are so willing to look at things in a much deeper way that a lot of people. It really is inspiring to come here and read you and I especially like when you talk about the boys you have raised, and their friends. Much love to you.
Delete