Monday, July 11, 2011

child abuse

hey friends,

hope all is going sweet and smooth in your lovely worlds,

let me tell you the one more reason that why i am the biggest bore on earth,and this is that i am too sensitive according to people but TO ME i am a very normal person and i wish that every person should think this way,

when i was five or six years old and we had not move yet in my village,we were living in city Hyderabad,in our neighborhood not much near but same street, a lady used to live along her five kids four girls and one youngest boy,her husband left her and she was the only bread runner of the house,

i did not know that where was her job,but one thing which feared me most always that before leaving home, she used to lock her all kids in one room where she was living on rent it was on the ground floor and has one window which had iron grill in it,when i returned from school i stand there and tried to look inside,

most of the time they just lay down on the floor and busy in playing lazily,i can never forget those faces who had lost their innocence and freedom,and disappointment made them lifeless and yellowish,i realized that being alone and cutoff from the world made them invent such unpleasant and dirty games,which that time i could only feel NOT RIGHT,

when their mother returned from the job,mostly i heard crying and shouts from their house because she used to beat them regularly,and after this treatment when they came out,one can see their joy from the distance,it was like someone unlocked the cage and set off the birds,i think i was the one who used to wait for these moment more then them,

inspite of all strictness of their mom, kids were fearless and much more mature then their age,eldest girl was hardly eight i think, but dangerously bold, she was too friendly with the boys elder then her and dirty people could easily take advantage of her,and so the all her sisters and brother,

when my younger brother passed away and mom fell seriously ill,doctor advised my father to change her destination,then we moved into our village,but those memories stick to my mind forever,

when i readmitted in school i was almost eight years old,and for reaching school we had to walk over the hills which was completely new path for us but i was extremely happy i remember like it was my soul desire,in the beginning mom gave company,then i had to take my little sister along who was too young for school,

since beginning i was so much in hate for boys,when i saw that i cannot play and run as freely as boys it was the first and last jealousy which placed in my heart and still exist, they are the one whose presence squeeze my world,and as a girl we have to have some fears in heart as fear makes us to take precautions,

during my teens,for my prose and rude behavior my male cousins disliked me always,and even my close girl friends in school avoid talking about boys,

later i realized that because of my attitude i was becoming alone,everyone found me so BORING and dont find any fun talking to me,i really tried to change my attitude but invein,even my own sister got tired of my possessiveness,

after marriage i found hard to manage healthy relationships among my in laws because of my kids,we both were really nice to each other but when it comes to leave my kids with my kids with their kids i could not allow and took the blamed for it that i dont consider them my family,or i think my kids superior them their's,

i beard it but could not allow my kids playing out alone until my eldest one reached 18, he gives company to his both brothers to the ground, or me and my husband take them to the park sometime,

while family ceremonies,i tell my son to watch out brothers while they play with cousins,i dont know why people find it unnatural,but at least i am satisfied that my kids are not learning bad words and acts out their,but one place i am still concern about and this is SCHOOL,

to remove this fear i try to ask every detail from my younger one,that how was his day and blah blah blah...


  1. I think it's ok to be strict with your kids but maybe should let them breathe once in a while.hahaha!as if iknow something about raising kids :P

  2. hi jenny,u r right,and thank god that i am very friendly to my kids my eldest son is 18 but still we are at healthy relations,as you know the problem come between the kids and parents because of the lack of communication,but in our case it is not that way,
    when he was thirteen he was allow to get out alone,now he has many friends from his school time and spend quite enough time with them everyday,
    all i want him to let me know that where he is going ,with whom and yes he cannot be out after 10 pm,

    dear jenny,when you will be a mom you will know that being mom is a huge responsibility and ur little carelessness can cause ur kids a life time turn to unhealthy life,god bless dear.

  3. Over protection is a problem too.The truth is that we cant protect them for ever.We have to prepare them to face things boldly. I know parental responsibilities, still I believe children should have freedom under observation.Or else,once they get out of home,they will misuse the new found freedom.

  4. it's good to keep protection of children, but if we take it more strictly then our own childrens will be bore. So its dangerous to be more strict because there will be a moment that our own children will lie with us.

  5. thanks i agree that truth is that we cant look after them for ever but if you see that even birds try hard to take care of their kids until they are able to fly by them selves,

    it is not easy to put our self behind watching our kids as media has made them quite understand so many things before time,and their curiosity made them things try which are not right,

    in big families i observe such fearing situations and got that i will put all efforts to stop them loosing their innocence and charm of childhood.

  6. Hi there Shabana,

    It's just normal that us, parents worry and fear. If I could just look after them forever, then I would. But I know that's impossible. I always tell my husband that I train our kids as early as today because I want them to be well-equipped in life when we are gone.

    As they grow older each day, I have learned to be less-strict and let them on their own in some ways and trust God for his guidance.

    God bless you and your family.

  7. The beginning of your article was heart touching for me Shabana, Bcoz I too am a very sensitive person. And surprisingly;y even I strongly believe that every person should have this quality :)
    As about the mom who locked her kids, I wonder if she was so poor to not be able to hire a nanny for them she might not have had a choice but to lock them ?
    Why she hit them everyday might have to do with her sick mind...!
    You are good human being a good mother too :)

  8. Wow, your neighbor who lock all her kids at home sure is cruel. Wonder if she leave enough food and water for all of them, poor thing.

  9. I agree with you on that. I think that communication is very important especially if kids become teens. Teens will most likely say that no one understands them :)


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