I have mentioned many times that i am not smart or clever person .
Why i said so ?
Because Now in the age of 48 when i look at my whole life i find that i never acted like smart person !
I still remember in my school i was kind and sweet to everyone .
Even to whom who never liked me, bullied and misbehaved .
My anger was channelize only for opposite gender , and my reaction to their stupid actions was stern !
I studied in girls high school so that was like heaven for me ,i liked to be surrounded with lots of girls and sweet teachers.
Many of girls and only few teachers were rude to me and they have their own reasons for their dislikening .
I was not one who gave them those reasons so i did not care what they think of me and why they tried to let down me, strangely in which they never succeeded .
Though i belonged to a lower middle class family yet the principal of school was so kind and sweet to me and she often invited me in her office and asked that i must ask her if there is some problem in studies or of other kind.
My girlfriends thought of me that i was totally stupid because i don't even want to listen their stories about various male cousins or other boys they were interested in .
If they had to have chat about their crush on boys celebrities they had to get away from me as topic was annoying for me.
Second foolishness was that i was more interested in elderly people ,i would manage to serve them ,to listen them and have discussions with them about various topics related to their lives or situations.
Third stupidity was that from my early teens to until i got married in age of almost 20 i used to cry like my eyes have endless oceans of tears .
Why did i cry as much? Was it my concern only ? or was it was in my hands to fulfill the necessaries of all? (Stupid me)
In my imagination so many hungry ,poor and helpless people accompanied me all the time which put me in deep sense of guilt .
Each time i eat ,play ,lay on my cozy bed or put head on mom's lap ,i would think of those who had no food ,no home or suffering because of their illness and starving for help.
After my marriage my husband beared my all foolishness so courageously and slowly put in my mind that "first of all you should believe in God "
"Then believe that what ever he has made has correct reasons behind it"
" We all born as equals with the recognition of RIGHT and WRONG"
" We are Free to make choices and decisions"
" Our choices lead us to our destinations"
"Destiny (will of God) is with who chose RIGHT path"
" Differences in our status are not only due to our mental and physical strategy for life but DUE TO THE DESTINY OR WILL OF GOD"
" Life is gift and a TEST either "
" God tests us by giving his blessings and by taking them away"
" When he gives somebody LOT!
It is TEST how he uses it to benefit the others around him"
"If God Gives someone Nothing is TEST HOW He purse for it ?"
"Will He prefer shortcut which is way to hurt others ?"
"Or he choose long and right way to achieve it?"
It took quite effort ,patience and time of my husband to mold me in a little better mental approach which i am today!
Still , when i have to say No to sales girls who come on door ,i feel so low and i can't feel better unless i drop some tears from my eye (Old habits don't leave easily, yes)
Many times i ask my hubby "Why God did not make everybody equally strong physically , economically and mentally ???
So everybody can be self dependent and can never get hurt because he is weak in any means."
Hubby replays "If in this world everyone is able to have everything ,NO one will do small jobs like cleaning ,plumbing, fixing or repairing things and millions of jobs like this which make basic chain of work ,demand and supply in any society !
"Who will sew your clothes or build your house who is already millioner ?"
and i think ,think and think but no solution comes in my head.
DO YOU ALSO THINK THAT IF EVERYBODY WAS BILL GATES PEOPLE OF THIS WORLD WOULD BE IN PROBLEM???
Please answer because i am not smart enough to figure it out!
God Bless You All!!!









































