Light Is Whole. A poem By Me

 Getting here , opened eye 

I started it with my cry

Without knowing for whom and why 

Looked for him in everything passing by 

Following wishes, chasing dreams 

Health and comfort,loads of things 

Couldn’t quiet  inner screams 

Deep inside rustled unfolded means

My heart sang nurtured with love 

Soul soaring triumphant dove 

But Pulling strings from above 

Someone kept testing my nerve 

Holding me back from worldly games 

Detaching from all my claims 

Pushing into thoughts insane 

Reconsidering  “loss and gain “

Asking for , look more deep 

Hidden Truths if I can seek 

Turning world to place so bleak 

What have I done to deserve this cheat 

Why created this puzzling place 

Giving everything a crazy pace 

This emptiness,what is this space

Can I fill it by running an endless race ?

Overwhelmed  by too much query 

Ego crumbled with fear and fury

I kept walking through places and seasons 

With obvious existence and unknown reason 

Ages went by ,I was old and weak 

My body torn  and soul to bleed 

Fell of ground with breath just last 

Saw drop of light spreading so vast 

Diminishing the universes  whole 

Making everything bright and bold 

Liberating from the cage of anxiety 

Dissolving me  ,into its entirety !

Hello dear friends,thanks for reading my poem till end. It’s about genuine feelings I have been experiencing about the Divine and how I feel He keeps me close by holding my attention all the time.

God Bless You All 🙏♥️

Meeting Sister After Twelve years , Comments revelation From Spam Box And Is It Covid Query

I wasn't sure sure why i am not feeling well though i took all the medicines regarding my flue ,cold and motions . Motions disappeared with first two doses but feverish feeling and flue seemed to stay inside somewhere in the corner and when i would quit medication it will start to reappear slowly . My eldest son pointed what if it was covid again . He told to buy a device that helps in checking covid at home . I am not sure if device is available here or not .It Is first Islamic month of Muharam and our small city of Khairpur remains almost shut down for first ten days for Shea community religious activities that attribute to Imam Hussain (a,s) the grandson of our prophet Muhamad (p,b ,u,h) who was martyred for the sake of  Islam by Yazid. People belong to Shea community celebrate their brutal murder of Imam and his family by mourning and lamenting while wandering in streets . This goes for one month and ten days though area is less occupied after first ten days of the Muharam. Tomorrow is tenth and  we are looking forward to open the city so can get back to routine mobility and shopping particularly. Hope hubby can find the device and i can check whether it is covid that taking so long to heal? 

Since we are back from Islamabad heat of this city is giving quite tough time and i think it is more because i am not feeling well already to bear it.More rains in surroundings but we have only cloudy weather . 

I was reading about comments dropping into spam box through many friend 's blogs so i checked mine week before .There were  143 comments among which almost 50 were from blogger friends . It seems that comments started to drop into spam box from January as dates showed ,how annoying and unjust it is . Thank you for being kind and helpful as without your help i would have remained totally ignorant about those precious comments from all of you!

My younger sister contacted me in January 2022 ,after twelve years. It was the same day when my nephew left for Saudi Arabia . She called and asked for some financial help through various excuses .One about her serious health issue made me think about helping her though i knew i had no option as my eldest son had helped in great way recently already . So there was no chance i would ask him again. I told hubby and he said "though we know this hardly earned money will go as waste i will"  and he sent her half lac immediately . I too knew but i wanted to do it only for once to prove that i am with her despite of all her she did to me always. As i said always we all see this world with our unique perspective and for me world is place where we come for really short while . We all live through standards set by our observations and experiences. According to my personal experience doing good selflessly brings peace of mind and sense of harmony with Nature ,so  i keep doing it. 

My one of the most beautiful sister invited me at her home in Islamabad where she lives with her husband and four kids ,two elders from second and two from one with whom she is since eight years. We whole family were shock to see that she did  not look the same person she was bold ,energetic brilliant and funny . her health seemed in danger when she told that doctor has told her to avoid drinking and smoking completely as her both kidneys are damaged . we met few times and i tried to use every minute in convincing her that she should adopt a healthy life style if not for herself but for children the smaller ones specially . But she replied clearly that "you should know your lectures are not for me so save them ,this is life i choose and i am going to stick with it and don't say when you know nothing .then she tried to justified her bad habits in way that her in laws are greedy and cruel and husband does not care about her much blah blahblah. if i will get in details i need ten posts so i save it for another time . her final denial to my advise saddened me deeply . it is painful to see your loved ones crawling towards cliff and reject to hold your hand . She was like this always . till death i will keep wondering Why ?????

when i heard one day that she had meet her first husband and handed over elder kids to him i felt some heavy rock has been removed from my chest ! i hugged her and kissed her forehead that she liberated her elder children from this hell at least . this one is taken on Eid day when we both went to village and visited grave of our parents together . Sadly and unfortunately she was not in her senses because of excessive drinking but i grabbed my peace that she was with me at that moment at least. in life i wanted to have a loving family since always but both of my siblings are not with same mindset . they are self centered but i still love them as they are children of my dear mom and father ! 

both kids of my sister (in middle) sent this image after settling down in the house of their biological father . their life has changed dramatically ,they have their genuine father with them who is very rich and established  man of Sawat in northern area. on left and right are sitting their step siblings . Their father according to them is happy to find them and tries to bring them all they wish immediately . this all makes me grateful and thankful to God and my sister who made it happen .whatever reason she had but this transformed the life of these kids for better hopefully !

"Dua" and "Naqash" both sent this photo to their mother in which they are standing with their step mother .i hope things stay positive between them and future of these kids who had suffered lot because of thier own mother may see soem light and peace in future amen!

taken on Eid evening before having tea ,in yellow the pretty little girl is my niece and in blue is son of my cousin .

Please pray for his father who had accident some days ago .A car rushed in and hit his legs .Driver ran away . The husband of my cousin is on bed since two weeks . I hope and pray that he gets well soon as he is the only bread earner of the family .

That is all for now dear people . See you soon ,i am visiting your blogs by cell smart phone or older tablet  but it makes me slow  as it is hard for me to read thin writing or typing fast .

Thank you for bearing ,in my  thoughts and prays all of you always!