Hey Friends,
Hope and Pray that all of you are doing absolutely wonderful as i am pretty much sure that you are utilizing your inner power of an fighter to defeat all negative that comes to you and say with wide bright smile "see i knocked you down miss trouble ,you wana try again ? okay then come it will be pleasure to kick your ..... again.
Relationships are important as being a social animal we love to be tangled in them .
We try our best [according to our capacity of understanding] to keep our relations with our family ,relatives and friends better .It gives us a sense of pleasure and achievement that how nicely we run our small world of emotions.
Sometime inspite of all effort things go wrong and misunderstandings take place between tow people or families. It is unpleasant and painful specially when both people have to encounter and ignore each other on special family events and gatherings.
But it is more difficult for one who is mutual friend of both and stuck between tow like a sandwich . Few days back when i went to attend the wedding ceremony of my niece [hubby' brother's daughter] i felt exact like this. Actually my hubby ' two brother who were doing joint business since years had some conflicts and separated their shares ,Wives of both men stop talking to each other and cut off their all relations.
I tried hard to make them understand that ladies should not react on the behalf of their husbands like nuts but failed.
When i arrived on ceremony as usual late [ here ceremony is celebrated at least three days] i mean last day when bride has to leave for groom's house i felt terrible when both ladies started talking to me and i felt they hold my both arms and pulling me towards them . It seemed they were trying to defeat each other in this race of occupation [though i am not celebrity but that time they made me though]
i was turning my neck right and left swiftly ,trying to be polite and nice with both equally [specially accurate ] as they were talking at the same time about different things which were hard to fast input and out for me . their loud consistent talk gave me headache that last for next tow days after returning .
I want some suggestions from you to handle such situation next time .
Dear Friends take Great Care ,Stay Happy and POSITIVE each step in life.
Hugs and Blessings!God Bless You All!
Hope and Pray that all of you are doing absolutely wonderful as i am pretty much sure that you are utilizing your inner power of an fighter to defeat all negative that comes to you and say with wide bright smile "see i knocked you down miss trouble ,you wana try again ? okay then come it will be pleasure to kick your ..... again.
Relationships are important as being a social animal we love to be tangled in them .
We try our best [according to our capacity of understanding] to keep our relations with our family ,relatives and friends better .It gives us a sense of pleasure and achievement that how nicely we run our small world of emotions.
Sometime inspite of all effort things go wrong and misunderstandings take place between tow people or families. It is unpleasant and painful specially when both people have to encounter and ignore each other on special family events and gatherings.
But it is more difficult for one who is mutual friend of both and stuck between tow like a sandwich . Few days back when i went to attend the wedding ceremony of my niece [hubby' brother's daughter] i felt exact like this. Actually my hubby ' two brother who were doing joint business since years had some conflicts and separated their shares ,Wives of both men stop talking to each other and cut off their all relations.
I tried hard to make them understand that ladies should not react on the behalf of their husbands like nuts but failed.
When i arrived on ceremony as usual late [ here ceremony is celebrated at least three days] i mean last day when bride has to leave for groom's house i felt terrible when both ladies started talking to me and i felt they hold my both arms and pulling me towards them . It seemed they were trying to defeat each other in this race of occupation [though i am not celebrity but that time they made me though]
i was turning my neck right and left swiftly ,trying to be polite and nice with both equally [specially accurate ] as they were talking at the same time about different things which were hard to fast input and out for me . their loud consistent talk gave me headache that last for next tow days after returning .
I want some suggestions from you to handle such situation next time .
Dear Friends take Great Care ,Stay Happy and POSITIVE each step in life.
Hugs and Blessings!God Bless You All!
It is very difficult. I have actually been interrupted mid conversation by a third party, which was so forceful it startled us. It was hard to recover from such a rude interruption but at the first opportunity I explained to the person that I would give her my full attention when I had finished my conversation. It fell on deaf ears! People like that are hard to sway. I would be interested to hear your commenters solutions to this problem.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, you were caught in a very difficult situation. I too would like to know how to handle the situation if caught in similar situation.
ReplyDeleteThat is difficult. I think if it happens again, I would calmly ask both to be quiet and then explain you want to talk with both, but if they can't get along together, you will have to do it separately and one will have to wait. If both still demand attention like thid, I would excuse myself and go talk to someone else.
ReplyDeleteBetty
I think it's awful and very unfair to put other people in the midle of a disagreement you have with someone else. I think I would talk to them individually and explain you don't want to get involved in the argument. .. people need to understand that... I hope they do see it your way xox ♡♡♡
ReplyDelete"Oops...let me stop you right there. I love you both and this is your disagreement. Talk to you later!"
ReplyDeleteI have said the above with my two sisters and my three cousins. I do love them and I won't be put in the middle because usually no matter what you say it really won't make any difference. Their minds are already made up.
This is just my opinion :}
Hugs~
100% behind Jan's response. Refuse to be involved in their drama.
DeleteI agree with Jan too!!! Every word she said!
DeleteBig Hugs!
Boa tarde, é uma situação desagradável, num desacordo alguém tem que transmitir paz.
ReplyDeleteAG
Oh what a terrible conflict! I wouldn't know what to do either. Conflict in family over business happens a lot. I blame money.
ReplyDeleteoh such a conflict bali. i always try to keep to myself when faced with any kind of conflict. excuse myself, "i have to use the ladies room" or maybe saying "i have a headache"!! surely if you didn't have one when you arrived, you would have one after this!! be strong, it can be hard!!!
ReplyDeleteI would say to them that I would speak to each of them separately as they are family. I would walk away until they are reafy to speak individually.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that both of these people are unwilling to listen to any common sense. My only suggestion...change the topic.
ReplyDeleteSorry about that. I believe it is important not to be drawn into a conflict. Don't give negativity and energy.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you, I have been in a similar situation but thankfully not family members.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing you can do is not been drawn into the argument and don't take sides even though both of them want you too. It is hard work and tedious.
Times like this are not pleasant and can prove difficult.
ReplyDeleteI think it best not to get pulled into the argument and definitely do not take sides. Try to speak with them individually would be the best path to take ...
All the best Jan
Being in the middle is a terrible position to be in. I would talk to each one separately and tell them that you care about both and refuse to take sides. If they can live with that, you can continue a relationship. If they can't, you will go separate ways. No one needs to have that type of drama in their lives!
ReplyDeleteCrikey .... I'd just disentangle myself from both of them and walk away ...... far away ..... it's their problem not yours.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, not so good for you and it often doesn't work out two brother's or sister's in business together.
ReplyDeleteAs for you being in the middle, that's not good either.
My advice is do not talk about one to the other, just listen to each one quietly for nothing is ever gained with a lot of loud chatter.
Good luck.
heehee.
ReplyDeleteis it ok if i mention.
that the photo you used of the sandwich is from the restaurant called Chick-fil-A.
it is also ok if i mention.
that i ate that exact sandwich for lunch?
anywayyyyyyyyyy.
you offered some great advice here! this seemed like a very difficult situation. i hope everything works out.
blessings to you! <3
Both Jan and Betty gave you the best advice. You can't ignore such rude behaviour. Sometimes one has to confront it, politely.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear that you are facing this dilemma. Conflicts involving family and friends can be so difficult.
ReplyDeleteI agree with those who advise you to make it clear that you will not be placed in the middle of this. I would add that you yourself gave some great advice that can apply to this situation. Handle it with bright smile!
Have a great day!
I think you handled this very well. Sometimes being polite doesn't necessarily mean being comfortable in a situation. Hopefully you don't have to see them both at one time very often! Andrea
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I would have done exactly as you did, baili ... I don't like to lay down rules that people have to follow "or else". I prefer to try to get along, even if it's uncomfortable for me, especially when it's at someone else's home or party. If you see these ladies on other occasions, that might be the time to say something privately. But if you hardly ever see them, I don't know if anything you said would help, and it might cause unhappiness for the host or hostess. Sorry I don't have much wisdom on this. Good luck, and I hope your headache is better now.
ReplyDeleteThis is a tough situation you were put in by your family. Not easy to be in the middle. I wish I had some good advice for you. When I have been in that situation I have tried to explain to both people that I feel a little uncomfortable because I am friends with both of them and that I will do my best to spend time with both people, but that I do not want to discuss the problems they are having with each other. Definitely not an easy thing to talk about at a wedding. Sorry for you and your headache!
ReplyDelete~Jess
difficult situation, i think you handles it well.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment on my snow blog post!!! :-)
ReplyDeleteAs for me, at my advanced age, I do not let anyone put me in a position, where I could get a head ache. I would have told both of them, to stop. Politely of course.
And then, ask/suggest, that we have an adult, 3 way conversation. Begin it myself.
And if they did not stop the impolite talking, I would have excused myself. Politely, of course. Without another thought, about the situation.
But I am in the US. Perhaps your Rules Of Society, do not allow you, to do this....
Luna Crone
Hello Baili, Thank you for commenting on my blog.
ReplyDeleteI have no advice for you in the difficult family situation you find yourself in. In my own family we have a much the same situation and it can make family get togethers awkward. But we keep trying to do what's right. Have a good day.
I would try to find someone else to talk to and not catch either ladies eyes.And if one of them came up to me I would be suddenly needing to go to the bathroom...
ReplyDeleteBless your heart, such a difficult situation to find yourself in! It is always hard to find yourself in the middle of a situation, where you never can win. Visiting with each sister separately would be best, if possible, and then telling them you love them, but want to stay out of the way of the argument, and not take sides. May the Lord bless you friend :)
ReplyDeleteI don't try at all to keep my relations with the family better, I just ignore them :)))
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you had to go through this situation with friends. I think you are a gracious person and genuine, and that's why they both want your attention. I have also had this happen to me at different times in my life.
ReplyDelete~Sheri
Hi, Baili!
ReplyDeleteYou were certainly in a difficult situation at your niece's wedding. Like Red Rose Alley said above, I think you are gracious and genuine and that's why they turned to you. Swimming in turbulent family currents can be tricky!
I'm not confrontational, so it's hard for me in those sandwich situations. I usually try to remove myself, but when I can't, I politely say that I love (or care about) both of them and don't want to take sides or get caught in the middle. Then I try to shift the conversation to another topic. Fortunately this doesn't happen too often. Afterwards I try to talk with each of them alone and listen to them, but I still won't choose sides and I would never tell either one what the other said. In some situations, it helps just to have someone listen, and I suspect that you are an excellent and compassionate listener.
In my family we have an agreement not to talk about money, religion, or politics. Of course, we sometimes get pulled in, and if debating and arguments get heated, someone will jump in and remind us that we're forgetting our agreement, that we need to chill and talk about something else.
I was commenting to this sandwich post yesterday and was interrupted. We're staying in a little hotel on Waikiki in Honolulu, and the only place to access internet is in the lobby (or with my computer on our bathroom sink in our room). We have made friends at our hotel over the past few years, so it's hard at times to work on my computer because everyone wants to talk. Not that that's a bad thing! It just means I don't get much internet time.
How sweet of you dear friend to take some time out of such intense conditions and dropping me such kind coment .
ReplyDeleteLove you for this kindness dear .