Sunday, December 13, 2020

Surviving Skills ,Really ?

 Such  a beautiful day is today here once again :) After recent slight showers  of rain sky looks Divine ! Sun seems  smiling ball of gold and air seems heavenly cool and refreshing :)

So  i found numerous reasons for being grateful for  all i have at he moment once again :) I know nothing lasts forever not seasons of earth nor seasons of life so all i can do is to hold the moment in my hand tight  and embrace it to it's fullest :) 

Do you remember that  once i mentioned  my poor performance in my very first  I Q test ? I  learnt from that failure that not  just how less i know  but how  dull  i am to  put my  thoughts on my tongue ,i mean on screen .Everything happens for the reason  which is my strong belief  too ,So i pondered  upon the  issue and looked  for something helpful online .And  i think  i found  it and it seems good for me as beginner .I  think such  support  will help to shake my head little bit more so my thoughts can reach to my output system bit quickly .  Since is started to watch  Mindfield a Youtube channel my way of understanding things is slightly being changing (positively of course ) .I  think  such support will be beneficial for my learning process (hopefully).

But, what i cannot help is the Panoramic  view of  swiftly  flowing life that  i see all the time through my imagination and it is getting clearer and clearer  everyday weirdly .I am able to accompany  countless living things even tiniest  existing upon and below the ground .Is this what called ONENESS ? No  i am not addicted to anything except my meditation ,yoga and walk.Not even tea anymore seems compelling to me.And this certain feeling does not rise after any specific thing or event ,but it stays with me from rise in the morning to fall asleep now . 

I see  things happening in the world at the same time in the world sometime .Sometime i  find myself  floating in the sky while embracing sun rays.Whole  planet below looks happy beautiful habitat for all the species .My eyes seems  too be able to see all of them at once .Creatures  living joyously within forests ,water mountains and human colonies  look inhabitants  of Utopia.I peak through the plane window passing by .It seems real but not as that much so i can notice features of people's faces .On other moment i rise from the ocean and  take flight with sea birds while  boats and ships are sailing below on the serene surface of sea.I feel i turned into air and crossing the forests smoothly while inhaling the soothing whisper of life within it.

Sometime i feel i am looking at whole virtual album of my own life not just in past but future too .Even i see people burying my empty body and my soul disappearing in the sky . Nothing seems unfamiliar ,like i am looking at the Complete circle of like rolling round before my eyes.This in inexplicable experience  but  it happens to me all the time. And i think this is the reason that keeps me positive and satisfied with life despite of all the odds.

Do you think i should see psychiatrist or i should just enjoy the scenario ? please let me know if so i would love to hear from friends like you all who are amazingly insightful .

I just received  some guests from family so need to say goodbye   :)

Keep  taking good care of yourself  friends see you soon!

55 comments:

  1. "...my soul disappearing in the sky..."

    But you won't disappear. You will exist forever.

    I do not think a psychiatrist's office is the place for you. They deal with the physical and medical and how those things affect the mind. Unless you have a physical problem, they can not help you. You are seeking spiritual answers. Only God can answer those questions.

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    1. Dear Sandy your words made me cry badly

      So you know this probably ?

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    2. I don't know really
      Reading your comment made me feel that I am on right journey May be
      Journey that can bring closer to him

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  2. Hi Baili. Fascinating post. There is absolutely no reason for you to visit a psychiatrist. Ponderings and imaginings about life and existence are normal and show that you have an active and alive mind. I think that it is wonderful that you experience such things. Death is part of our existence so it makes sense that it is part of it all.

    Have great day!

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    1. Dear Brain
      Your words brought me peace
      Thank you for kindness!

      Delete
  3. No psychiatrist. You have a gift and you should go with it, explore it and be free in it.

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    1. Dear Nichol
      I too think the same but sometimes this feeling makes me overlook the harsh realities and I feel bit embarrassed don't know why

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  4. I think you are very intelligent so much for IQ tests.

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    1. when it comes from you dear Sandi
      i have to believe it

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  5. Definitely enjoy. You are full of life and now contentment has found you. You have so much to enjoy and you are happily opening your eyes to all. You seem to be approaching Nirvana.

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    1. dear Emma word you used sounds familiar from a novel which i read long ago in my mid teenage years ,after reading it here i googled and definition was almost what i feel meanwhile ,i can't say "rebirth " because i don't know what it feels but yes a very certain ,deep ,strong and extraterrestrial Feeling of "ABSOLUTE SPIRITUAL FREEDOM AND LIGHTNESS " takes over the charge of my being ,while enjoying it i feel compelled to understand it out of my endless curiosity

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  6. Sounds like you easily have spiritual experiences!

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    1. yes it feels like just you said it dear Debra

      spiritual experience because i feel to leave my body behind where it is present

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  7. Enjoy this time of imagination. I'm serous about this and not joking or making fun of you. Now IQ ? They are one of the worst things that was ever pawned off onto us. They are highly inaccurate . I'm glad that they are gone. People have strong areas such as creativity, imagination, analysis, math, science, . These make up the worth of a person and an IQ tests measures very little of this.

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    1. actually i am late to this stuff dear Red

      i felt embarrassed when i saw my result because i thought these things must have known to person with masters degree in English
      second disappointment was slow response
      those feeling left me later in new day but still i decided to groom my mind by trowing him before more challenges
      i agree that I q tests measure very little of us as person ,such test must broad their query i think so all aspects of people can be bring forth

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  8. I have often thought that performing well on tests has more to do with test taking ability, not actual ability or intelligence.

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    1. that can be also true i believe dear Marie
      i remember during my previous job i suggested to principal that she should use bigger question paper so children can read and understand easily ,and when she did so ,results of even lazy kids were better ,she was happy with the idea i presented

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  9. Once in a sad mood I wished I could go back into nature. I wanted to become one with a large tree outside our front door. It was not frightening but sort of soothing.

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    1. what we search within Nature dear John ?

      yes a motherly love and healing energy and another thing that many of us do is finding ways through Nature that can make them feel closer to whom ,who have created them :)
      consider me later one

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  10. You need to relax and do things taht make you happy.
    That's all.
    Have a great week

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    1. that is all i do dear Pedro by the grace of my Maker

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  11. Dear sweet Baili... there is nothing wrong with you and your precious heart and mind! The Lord has gifted you with a remarkable thing, a desire to understand the deep and precious things of life that most never want to stop and consider. You are a philosopher of heart issues, and I pray that the Lord continues to open your heart and mind to more of Him. Do not judge yourself as man does, an IQ test cannot measure the wisdom of a heart, and yours is very wise! I do believe the Lord has gifted you with this, and I hope your heart is at peace knowing the Lord has a special touch on your heart and life. With much love and hugs sent to you :)

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    1. dear Marilyn

      i have no appropriate words to thank you enough for your generosity !

      your kindness is overwhelming and encouraging my precious friend
      i see so many things different than others in my life
      some find me boring to extreme extent and some think i am not normal ,few say that i am good enough to be uncomfortable for most of the people who specially who don't believe in "goodness" or in "Lord" in other words
      despite of all i could never stop being what i am because if i do it will let down me in the eyes of myself
      i have seen and experienced so many Miracles that i strongly completely believe my Creator made happen to me to reward my " Undefeated Longing for him"
      now since sometimes when i am being target of applied negative energy i once again felt His miracle happened to me and opened doors of the unseen sacred world for me ,which is calming indeed yet sometime i stop and think if i am lost in any illusion .But that illusion does not seem to take place within any of my social or physical behavior .That is satisfaction enough to sooth me .but still i treat my curiosity well and ask my friends blogging friends who know me by my thoughts that is real me .So may be they can point out something which they feel is abnormal ,i am honored with love and concern you all friends show to me always !

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  12. I believe you have a wonderful insight to many things and a gift to explore.
    So live each days as you wish to and enjoy life, think positive and put those negative thoughts behind you, they will do you no good...
    Take care and be safe.

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    1. i am trying my best dear Margaret
      thank you so much for encouragement

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  13. Seja você, como gosta de ser. Faça aquilo que aprecia fazer. Tudo o resto há-de correr bem. Gostei de ler este seu texto tão reflexivo.
    Continue a cuidar-se bem.
    Uma boa semana.
    Um beijo.

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    1. thank you dear Grace ,i am trying my best :)

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  14. This is a very interesting post and I read it a few times. You are a beautiful person, Baili, and you truly live through your kind heart and loving spirit. You are insightful and look for answers that many would not. There is nothing wrong with you, you are an individual searching for your own truth.

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    1. this is honor to hear from you that you liked my simple words dear Arleen

      i prefer to be at peace than being just happy ,peace that one gets when his conscience is light ,this is easiest way to find inner peace and i am thankful for acknowledging it

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  15. Baili, you are an amazing woman. Don't change a thing. Just enjoy life!

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    1. That is my pray either dear Martha ,i don't want to change at all

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  16. I think you have a vivid imagination and the ability to transport yourself away to the places of your dreams, you won't need a psychiatrist to help you with that!

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  17. Hi Dear Baili, To me, it seems like you are becoming more aware of what Eckhart Tolle calls your “Deep I” … the part of a human which is most deeply connected to the ongoing evolution of the universe. Also known as consciousness. We are all a part of this. As we evolve we become more aware of nature around us. Some humans evolve faster than others. We are all on our own individual track. I think you are fortunate to be experiencing what you have described. Take care, Dear Baili, and stay safe. John

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    1. thank you for insightful comment dear John !

      i do believe in your description of the feelings i shared here
      i believe that Nature has blessed us all with equal physical and spiritual abilities .we have to grow though both sides of our being so balance between them can be created to harmonize us with Him strongly
      i thing without such evolution we cannot experience " A SUCCESSFUL EXISTENCE " which is most important to learn meaning why we are here actually
      i truly don't know what is going on within me except that i wanted this way where i can feel closer to my Creator

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  18. So beautifully written as always! You are wonderfully sensitive and spiritual, I love that about you. You know what is really important in life and that is true wisdom right here, no test will show it, cos they are constructed to show different skills,but it's true. Have a lovely day!

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    1. sweet Natalia

      we really need to correct our perspective about life if we want True Peace in life ,it belongs to nothing in physical world but it comes from within when we travel inwardly and long for the divine reality

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  19. So well written. You are either drinking mushroom tea (laughing just a bit) or you are waking up to the Real. i have moments here and there and what I gain mostly from it - is how everything in this apparent "world" that we see ...Well everything that is beyond that ...and we get glimpses of ...that is the real mojo.
    Love your writing. Now we just have to kick the ego in the butt and tell it good riddance. Because you are seeing what's Real.

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    1. i am glad you used word "real" here
      what is real is complicated to understand when we are so very much lost in virtual presence of everything around ,
      i had have always a calmer part inside me who did not care for things that matter most for the existence in physical world dear Sandy ,may be there was little of me who was able to see what is real or at least able to see little beyond what was VISIBLE to eyes only
      i always felt someone mysteriously,hideously taking care of me though never could get who he was ,to be honest i still can guess only that he is my Creator because no one possibly can must be able to do so (to me at least) except who has power to peak inside you and see what you actually are and provide support if you seek for it truly
      i am feeling myself turning into a silvery sand particle who is roaming within universe and looking for his origin ,that is all i can say because my mind shows me only to this limit

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    2. Just saw your comment. For me - ...if it is "light", Joyful, harmonious, beautiful and fills me up with inspiration or joy - that is what is real . All the rest if just our little egoic minds making life miserable for us and we believing it.

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  20. Hello Baili, you so often provide us with such thoughtful posts, as this one is.
    I really don't think you need to change anything, just do your best to enjoy life, which I think you are doing :)

    My good wishes.

    All the best Jan

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    1. thank you so much for your kind supportive words always dear Jan !

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  21. I'm looking at the comments and there is so much love here for you, and understanding. I hope you find comfort in that. We are all in this together, to support one another.
    Amalia
    xo

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    1. many times this support brings more comfort to one than one we find by people near us physically dear Amalia
      i have not anyone who can understand what i feel so i find it soothing to share it with blogging friends in my online diary :)
      every one here is amazingly kind and helpful i agree and i feel so blessed to have you all with me here

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  22. You do not need to seek any medical advice, Baili. Your posts are the most intelligent and interesting ones I read online. Many people complain about things, but you seek the reasons behind what is happening whether in your own life or the world. I hope you never stop questioning what is going on around you. As for IQ tests even the smartest people have not one ounce of common sense, which you have so much of and it shows, my friend.

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    1. dear Dorothy !

      thank you so much for kind encouraging words ,they mean Lot to me believe me

      in my fifties i have realized that we spend most of our life in illusion unconsciously that we are here forever and we have right to take all blessings Of lord that granted ,we waste time in things that don't even matter for life or for being at peace ,all we do for the fun sake mostly
      in certain part of life may be many of us realize truth to some extent but most of us still keep complaining about everything as they have got defected thing after ordering it ,we should feel we were never in position to ORDER ANYTHING here in this world
      we are here to Learn and understand what Nature has displayed for us and try to survive within it and bettering lives for common good on this planet
      i believe that if we pass this exam by stepping out of the shell of selfishness Nature will allow us to learn more about her secrets and let us shine through her splendor longer
      but unfortunately we have not learnt even a b c about our true purpose here

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  23. Eu adoro as suas palavras, Baili, sempre de grande ponderação, sabedoria, equilíbrio e espiritualidade... e uma admirável capacidade de gratidão perante o que a vida lhe tem proporcionado. Aceitar o que não se pode mudar e ser-se grato perante o que se tem ou conquistou, são os segredos para se saber viver bem... mas são qualidades que muitas pessoas desconhecem em absoluto... e talvez por isso, passem pela felicidade... sem darem por ela...
    Um beijinho, estimando que se encontre bem, assim como todos os seus! Cuidem-se bem! Aqui a situação da pandemia, está bem preocupante, infelizmente!...
    Ana

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    1. precious Ana

      in the beginning i used to think that we pay gratitude when Lord answers our prayers but gradually i realized that WHAT ABOUT HE GAVE US ALREADY WITHOUT ASKING ,Life ,Health <Shelter ,Family and above everything A SENSE OF HIS PRESENCE AROUND AND WITHIN ,so i feel my soul like glass overflowing with Gratitude

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  24. Dear Baili, you are one of the most kind, deep thinkers that I know. You are searching for answers, but I think you have already found the greatest answer you are seeking.....love. You are filled with love for everyone and your heart is as big as the ocean. You always want the best for people, and that is not something that we see every day. Keep being yourself, dear one. I wish more people had the kind and loving heart that you do.

    ~Sheri

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    1. dear Sheri
      your sweetest kindest words brought warmth of love to me to the deepest point of my soul !
      this is such an inexplicable joy that i have such compassionate friends like you (teary eyes)

      you mentioned part of nature which is not appreciated by many around as if it is my fault or sin
      i follow simply my instincts and rest leave upon His divine justice though
      knowing from friends like you that it is a quality that is liked by humans too satisfies me a lot ,so thank you for uplifting comments my lovely friend !

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  25. Dear Baili, you do not need to worry, my friend, I think you are plunging into the deep center of yourself, where the Holy Oneness of All Creation dwells. You are being drawn into this Oneness of all creation. But it seems to me you have always been in that Oneness. It is just that now you recognize it and your recognize within yourself a deep gladness at the beauty of all creation. I think theologians and others who sudden "being" would say that you are experiencing "transcendence" or "mysticism." Please do not worry, simply embrace the Oneness flowing, like a river, through you. You are a gift from the Universe to all of us. Peace.

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    1. "oneness" seems such perfect word dearest Dee

      so true that though i am aware how tiny "being" i have within this huge universe still i often feel like every single substance within universe has connected to me and circling around lost into deepest selflessness that though not makes me self indulgent but more and more consumed into "sense of oneness" that makes me at absolute peace and divinely happy ,this is new horizon to me and i feel myself being pulled within it so quickly ,deeply
      i really appreciate your kind words my wonderful sweet friend ,we all are way to goodness for each other and this is truly a grace of DIVINE ENERGY WE CALL LORD !

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    2. Dear Baili, I so agree. A great and overwhelming grace from the "Divine Energy We Call Lord!" Peace.

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  26. Dearest Baili...no, you definitely do NOT need to see a psychiatrist!! In fact, I would say a psychiatrist could learn a great deal from YOU!
    I totally believe that the glorious experience that you are describing is indeed "oneness"!!
    I have felt this way too, but only in short bursts that I have no control over. To live in a state of perpetual bliss of this kind is something I have always longed to achieve. My dear friend, hang onto this state of mind forever...you are living close to our Creator...in utter grace.😊😊

    Have a lovely day, my beautiful friend 🙏🙏

    All my love and hugs, always ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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