Tuesday, October 12, 2021

Times And seasons When Soul Speaks To Souls


The weather  of our small city has decided to change finally :) believe it or not no more sweats for  two to three months at least , what a relief (sigh) .My medication course has ended and i am enjoying the new mood of the weather thoroughly and with more attentive mind thankfully ,slight breeze and comforting sunlight is so much well come here which seems delightful to senses. It has been thirty years since i moved here after my marriage still when i visit to blogger friends who share stunning autumn of their area it awakes so many memories which time and business could not erase or dim in these thirty years. 

Memories of  days when i lived in a hill top house back in my native village .Our house had perfect view of widely spread fields below beyond which flowed stream and across the steam was gardens of  other village  laying in the lap of front hills .When autumn would come i was able to observe  how fall leaves would turn their colors and make such an exuberant lace along the hill line that it would seem impossible to turn eyes from them. Cool winds and  departing leaves from the arms of trees would make environment quite stunningly gloomy .But i liked that gloomy touch of the season that would seem to open new doors inside my soul while deepening my thoughts and awakening grave sensitivity within my heart. It would inspire me to write more . I never wrote romantic poetry if one sticks romanticism to write about a lover . Most of my poetry was kind of monologue  about world ,views ,nature and people, my thoughts that i could not share to anyone  except to notebook .You can say that my canvas of "lover" was broader  and everything that was part of Nature was and is loved by me . Autumn would enrich my connection to everything around and every emotion within me .So i loved autumn and i still do though here i cannot feel her presence only know it is fall through calendar .And yes my small garden's plants try to whisper about fall too on tiny bases .

                                                             old photo taken in November 2020

As i believe that Nature has created everything for "purpose" i think fall is also to for reason. Nature has given us diversity in everything not only to have various tastes of life but the diversity being displayed through every  creation of the Nature is actually an Example of the diversity Nature itself is going through consistently since billions of years. Times like day and night or seasons like summer and winter are strong aspects of  how Nature works physically . In life we experience" diversity " in everything  like weather ,time frame ,seasons foods so on and on and on,these are physically existing things. What about Moods ,thoughts ,attitudes ,beliefs and so on.... these are things that don't exist physically still they decide what we are going to do with our life .

As we are part of Nature both of these things or qualities we surely have adopted from Nature. So we can say that as "living part of Nature or universe " we are obliged to not just " exist" but to "feel" just like Nature does. If it was random burst out existence things should have travelled in  straight lines in the horizons of space instead of being spherical and form rotary families  .There would have no concept of time at all which makes all this  possible .But we see how enormous and deep is wisdom of Nature . How life sprouting out in pin point started to take various shapes gradually  and continue to grow in vast  tree of universe .We find that how Nature has ability to sustain this ever growing universe in certain well organized way . Diversity is very first child of "Growth" .If we grow it is obvious to go through various certain changes. 

Back to actual topic i started with the "autumn" . I think that times like morning and evening and seasons like autumn speak to us on the behalf of "soul of the universe" .They are "divine invitation for us to be hold and "feel" so we can realize the true pattern of life. 

Why the same views that we don't find appealing enough to stop and even look at become captivating during early morning and evening. What magic does a slightly changed angle of light  to spectacles that transforms the whole scenario at once .We all are familiar with  peculiar moods we have during these times. A strong wave seems to come over and drag us into completely new version of us which we hardly encounter in day or night times. I think the actual thing that works behind this revolution is the "feel" which these times deliver to our heart. Before appearing or disappearing when sun contracts or spreads it's rays on the views everything looks different ,like revealing  panoramic look of the "Spirit of the Universe and Life" in it which speaks to pondering heart that 

"see how short is the spin of life"  so don't stuck in well of trivial ideas. Move soothingly while learning how to move even better and share the ease and goodness you earn in the way because you are here not forever"

Same story tells the short living flowers of spring and falling leaves of autumn . If everything was random these time periods and seasons would have not been existing i believe. They are a way through which Soul of Nature, Universe approach our souls so we can receive this divine message and empower them to embrace glory of life!

Keep rotating and keep blooming dear Friends ! all matter is quality of  our Existence rather than quantity so make sure no matter how long we live it with meaning and purpose :) 

Blessings to all of you and to all you all love!

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Rain ! The Sip Of Life


 This week was awfully dull for me . Medicine i had  to take for allergy for ten days kept me useless though not physically but spiritually. Despite of having all senses it was hard to locate my mind when needed. But it makes me glad that i did not give up my exercise whether physical or mental (meditation) .Two days more to go and my medicine course will end thankfully.

The happiest event of last week was rain that agreed to shower in our part  of city too eventually and washed away all the dense dust layer from my garden! I was specially happy for my plants who seemed to starve for rain more than me . 

My eldest son has arrived in London and all set in his new life in new city by the grace of lord! He called on Sunday for a while just to show us his face .He was in hurry because he had to leave to check out places he had selected online . He is currently living in hotel (air bnb service)  though one of his friend has showed him a residence which she is leaving behind as she is leaving the city probably ,my son liked it which made us happy as he takes quite time and search before selecting anything. He is going to live in hotel for month probably which he has booked already before arriving there and then will move to the residence recommended by his friend. He was little disappointed  with congestion of places in the main city near his office. He mentioned that the place recommended by his friend is also  does not match his will perfectly but he will adjust there for some months until he will rent a bigger place in surroundings and buy vehicle to drive to the office daily which he wanted to avoid but now seems inevitable. Hubby says that big place are time and energy consuming when it come to look after them. We know this because we too are putting lot of effort to keep our house clean and organized. But we know this  either  that our son has inherited love of big open house with some nature in it from his parents .

I want to thank you all of you for your kind ,sweet words on my previous post ! The love and concern you dear people show touches my heart deeply!

For my precious friends who could not understand the urgency of my act i want to clarify my situation here. 

My brother does not earn anymore because he had terrible accidents twice ,once he broke his back bone while falling from roof during his construction work and second time he broke his leg from knee to heel .He can barely walk which makes him bear pain and increase swelling. Despite of all bad he did to me this is difficult for me to see him in such situation. Before he started to rely on my sister's support he was honorable man with self respect ,but since she lost everything as quickly as she got my brother looked for alternative . Meanwhile he went through these accidents and lost his ability to work. This all happened when his kids were growing in early teens. Like their father they saw their mother (my sister in law) too looking for easy money instead working hard and teaching her boys to do so. My sister in law is other worst thing happened to her kids because she ingested her faithlessness ,fears and doubts in her all children .This is the biggest damage . I cannot correct it at once by moving magic wand.

I am afraid that nothing can rise them from such fall which they favored for themselves. I have nothing in my hand except helping one  bright child of the family to take responsibility of his family because i cannot feed them on daily or monthly bases  as i have helped them financially many times despite i don't favor such support specially when family has lots of young healthy men in the house.

The son in law of one of my cousin lives in Saudi Arabia since many years and owns vehicles and is well established . I requested him during my previous visit if he needs a new driver he should think of my nephew who is driving heavy vehicle here since few years though has no official diploma. My effort to keeping up deal with him was mainly because my nephew has no diploma so there is hardly hope any one other will do such favor for him . I had no idea that it will happen as quickly and suddenly when my own son will be in rush and in less flexible  financial situation. Third and most important reason was that if i was not finalizing it with this particular person i will have to rely for other chance that can occur after long ,long was not problem actually  .Problem was relying on my brother's wife because she is in charge in the house .She is most superstitious woman i ever saw .Her complains for everyone she meets in life are endless and doubts are like pile under which she is buried  badly ,worst part she thinks it is best place she found in the world. If i rely on her and take her words for making deal with stranger there was obvious chance that it won't succeed as it happened twice in past. She made rush to cancel the deal and demanded money back and spent all money in house expanses which i cannot afford because i don't want to spoil the environment of my own house. Hubby's all objection are correct unfortunately so i tried hard to do it now and because the son in law who is taking my nephew along (hopefully if all goes right) has promised me to give me my money back if my brother's family cannot arrange the remaining small amount of money . I have chance to keep this money saved until i get another such opportunity to help them. My eldest son is blessed soul ! He could have say no but he said smilingly that it is okay to enjoy less flexibility if it can bring people close to us some basic relief. I have faith he will be rewarded for his kindness as it is promise of Nature since the beginning  and she is best in keeping her promise we all know that! 

Okay enough heavy talk ,i want share with you most rare and joyous moments when we had rain after ages !

     this was inexplicable moment when i realized that clouds decided to open their door and shower some drops in our part of city . rare sight such thick gorgeous clouds and falling rain as God was smiling on us and transformed our world from dry desert to lush meadow :)

  heavy rain for half an hour was enough to fill our front yard with water which my youngest son wiped out happily ,he with me remained under rain all the time ,i took my cup of tea sitting under rain like i was soaking this kindness of nature within my soul . we both had flue and light fever but still i don't regret it .

next morning seemed like a stunning new bride who has stepped in a new home and seems shy though her enchanting beauty is glorifying the surroundings sublimely!

  my eyes became teary when saw my neem tree next day dazzling in the sunlight .without exchanging a word we congratulated each other for this refreshing new blessed day!

  the sooth and beauty i saw showering in my yard my camera missed it . i wanted to inhale the whole joy and serenity filled in this morning after rain !

with every sip  from my cup i felt i was drinking "life" 

    i was little sad when sun said goodbye and evening approached ,i knew i will have to wait for ages again for having  such glorious beautiful day !

But what if i was not here to witness that day . This mystery and adventure of life is reason that life feels beautiful and precious dear Friends! so keep revealing what joys has for the moment you have in hands :)
thank you for bearing with me! your support is my strength believe me !
Health ,peace and Joy to all of you! God bless you all!

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

The Stuff Of My Life

 A part of our city had little rain last day which has transformed the weather beautifully . It is always good to see trees waving happily while embracing the air .Still humid days are terrible and i hope they are not coming back until next August . We could not have the rain but certain refreshing feeling that follow the rain is delightful ,it's been while to have it .

I could not read much since few days because medicine i am taking for allergy has dimmed my ability to focus and reading without  focus makes me go back to same sentences repeatedly and it also makes me forget what i just read in previous page . 

One and a half week back i realized that slight milia is appearing on my neck back ,i ignored it as usual but after few days it was hard to avoid scratching them . I never got such milia in any summer before so i applied some betnovate cream which we keep in house for cut or injury since years , It sooth for while but i felt it was spreading slowly.  I hate going to doctor but i had to inform hubby and he took me to the doctor immediately. Doctor  gave me ointment and three type of  pills which are keeping me quite dull and i don't like being dull at all :( It's getting better thankfully and this matters most of course .

Two weeks ago we have bought an android device for our smart tv. We were busy in others things so could not explore what it has to offer but eventually load of due doings lightened and we installed apps i mean my younger son did who knows lot about these things . The android device has so many English, hindi  china and Korean channels along with movie apps .So much to see but i feel i am less interested in just watching tv now . This makes me laugh on myself when i remember days when i would literally  cry for hours if i would miss any episode of my favorite show, how embarrassing lol . 

Yet it is nice to have choice so we can watch if we want to . But i must say that abundance of choice is not a healthy thing in life and in any case  because it can confuse us so easily which effects our chances for success negatively  (my opinion). 

My younger son left to repeat Sat test so can improve his previous score . He scored eleven hundred and thirty out of sixteen hundred in his first try but his elder brother wanted him to do better. I hope and pray may he succeed along with all who are trying to do good in their life, amen!

We been through little dramatic situation lately .If you remember i have mentioned one of my post or most probably in my response to some comment  that we had in our mind that once our eldest son is well settled in London city we will help my nephew (my brother's elder son) to go to Saudi Arabia for (loader operator)job. Actually before that i asked to my eldest son if he want to help one of his cousin in making life better for his family .He agreed immediately though he mentioned that as because he is moving to London he has spent all his savings in health insurance so it will take him sometime to settle there and see what he can do . I told him not to worry about time as things are quite closed here and it seems to take few months for opening for air traffic to Saudi Arabia . We were relaxed that we will be able to help my nephew peacefully so far.

But few days back my sister in law called who was angry with us since my brother returned home without much amount of money ,she told that son in law of one of our cousin has offered job to Nomi (name of my nephew ) so they want us to help them in getting all things done including visa and related tests etc and within three days they need to pay for visa. We were totally shocked by this sudden demand .The fear and trauma that i won't be able to help them because my own son is travelling to the London in first week of October and has so many things to do which are not possible without money was eating me . This was embarrassing to ask for financial help when my eldest son was in restricted position i still inevitably called him and told the whole story as it was. I never faced such embarrassing moment in my whole life as he was my own son my own precious baby and i was about to create problem for him . But like always my son surprised me with his calmness and generosity . First of all he calmed me with his healing accent and sweet words and then said that as because situation is tight so he will pay quarter amount  on arriving London and later in three instalments . The amount was equal to his half salary in UK . My heart drowned in mixed feeling of worry for my son and happiness for my nephew .I asked him that he can refuse if it can make things difficult for him but he said it's okay he can survive with little less money and that this is about the honor of his mom. I don't know whether i did good or bad but i know i did this because i wanted to get rid of daily help request from my sister in law. Hubby either does not like supporting people this way as he thinks that it ruins their self respect they get used to easy money . So i had only one solution that i help one of my nephew to have job in middle east country where salaries are little better than Pakistan so he can support his family. I don't care what my sister in law thinks but i think it is my genuine effort to make her family stand on their own feet . Hubby agrees to the idea but he is little annoyed because of wrong timing for the help. He thought we could do this later when our son won't suffer because of  my sympathetic nature.  My son appreciates my habit to help others and he showed with his kind humble behavior how much he respects me. This is most comforting and heartwarming feeling for a mother. Throughout my life i learnt that our actions are paid back to us whether right or wrong . I have absolute faith on words of holy book and science which says that you reap what you sow . 

I believe that this kindness of my son will surly bring him more peace and prosperity in life ahead as no matter what people do to us in return the Divine Creator and Energy within and around us knows all and give us what we deserve eventually !

Thank you for bearing with me dear Friends!

please keep being kind to  all around you so Nature can send back this kindness to you no matter which source she chooses !

Health,Peace and Joy to all of you!



Thursday, September 23, 2021

Agenda Of The Nature Behind Aging Seems to....

Hey  Lovely  People !

Hope all is going smooth and amazing in your beautiful  world and if there is any  odd challenging your courage you are definitely making  it  just disappear smilingly with faith  and always growing strength within you :)

This is great how with time we learn that nothing is changing around us ,it's just our perception to conceive  things and way to deal with them.  How nice that Nature has blessed us with freedom of choice to be and to choose so we can never blame anyone else for our mistakes.

Today i on my laptop after one and a half day and found my very kind blogger friend   Louise comment as response to my response to her comment left on previous post. She since beginning leaves me most sweet and encouraging comments which strengthen to my heart. Her support is heartwarming and i am most inspired by her humanity and kindness as being an Asian and Pakistani blogger this helps me to feel "heard" and in harmony with others specially when she is an amazing writer and never lacks beautiful words and most sweet way to express her point of view. She  gives quite of her precious time to read  my posts and leave her valuable thoughts in detail. This is such a nice feeling to have kind friends like her and like all of you who support me ,i am thankful!

Louise's response  involved some thoughts about how women feel when they age . This made me thought why it was important for Nature or Creator to make us go through such painful process ?

According to astrophysicists universe is aging and it's proof they got is that it is expending and everything is going away from each other. The uniformity of the universe is that everything created within it is behaving similarly. Stars ,planets and everything on them is decaying and making it's journey towards it's end .

Isn't the "expansion"  thing reveals to us that 

"getting away from each other weaken us and this leads us to our conclusion " ? 

Aging takes longer time in Nonliving things  but as a living part of the universe we are so delicate and have really less time for decaying. The more small is living thing the shorter is it's lifespan. Okay leave the jellyfish mystery out of it :)

We as humans or as conscious part of living colony have a lifespan which goes around a hundred years or more or less of it if we die naturally.

We have privilege to understand how to slow the process of aging and probably one day we can even stop it .

But do we think that as being living beings and being humans particularly what this process of aging point out to us ? 

If our memory and understanding works fine enough we as specie began with a single cell and since then our reproduction and division is going on and on. As we know that universe will end someday too so all bodies existing within universe follow the same rule and ways for decaying. 

Being a part of human specie we either run in the same circle. Our life starts as a baby with our parents and then on being adult we too form our own families. So this way just like cells in our body we keep dividing in outside world. Needless to say that like human specie human society is aging too . Our brains are developing and working far faster than our ancestors which has revolutionized our life almost instantly within few hundred years on planet earth. 

Despite of all the advancement we are with our basic instincts which are tools given to us for survival. But along with that we have certain emotions that separate us from other species like love, hate ,respect ,care and dreams and wishes which push us further to move in life.

Don't you think that these dreams and wishes have lot to do with our "aging" ?

I  can only wonder about world where nobody  is bothered with threat of growing age and worried about issues related to it. I am not aiming here to praise old age but one question comes in my mind and it is  " is it possible to gain wisdom without being old ?

i know you can say yes, to gain wisdom one has to live long enough to go through all the experiences etc and for this no one has to have an old weak body and wrinkled face. I agree.

But  if universe becomes static and so do we human , everyone is young and immortal unless some mishap takes his life  do you think life will be all good and no problem anymore ? 

First of all "stillness" is not called life not theoretically nor scientifically . Life means progress ,progress means to move further and  there comes end eventually  (well probably ,because  it can be endless circle  who knows) .

What i see here is that Task of the Maker is not to make us still or keep us in same situation . The  breathing and thinking universe has been created to "Progress"  and How we the alive part of universe do this is under strict observation whether believe it or not.

We are given "senses" to feel emotions .Emotions belong to soul side conscious part of  life . So it is not mere physical life for us here.  We have to understand that  Nature ,Creator Or Divine Energy whatever it is She wants us to live through our Souls than just be slave of physical needs . Aging  or growing old is something which  Force us gradually to exit from the crowded ,noisy house of bodily demands  and enter in the calm sensible and reasonable cottage of Soul . I am not saying that all young are stupid or all old are wise as i have seen many old worst than teenagers and teenagers realistic than elderly people yet i claim that growing age widen  horizons for most of us to quite extent.

Amazing wisdom is manifested in the pattern of life by Nature for us. Her planning seems flawless when it comes to teach us "How to stick together" . For this she bring us into the world weak and adorable. Makes us center of the eye for our family . Nobody knows the future but love for the baby is ultimately inevitable and unconditional. We can see enormous amount of such love even in animals so we can say they too own souls though they don't have privilege to thrive it.

Universal laws work in our Soul life as well .Gravity of Love want us to be bound to our family who nurtured us with love and care. But Time is also law of this universe  so It want us to Expand and withered .Fight between both  is most interesting part of existence here. Nature seems to have Game plan and to check it out She has given us Consciousness which enable us to make memory and keep  record of our experiences so end of the day we can decide what is good or bad for us and not blame others for our mistakes.

I don't know on what side Nature is but i think  She Enjoys this fight a lot. I feel that Nature too want Soul win this fight .

 The progress which we call "aging" lead us from childhood to youth ,an age when one often feels he came and grew all by himself .He is on top of the world and that everything circles around him .Youth is peak and from up there everything looks tiny and under feet . Fog of hormones block view completely and one cannot see across his personal desires most of the time.  Peak is slippery and not long after one got there ,he has to roll down . During this returning journey the Change in behavior of people  and in the result of this change various incidents of his life shake him strongly which reveals the dark face of reality before him . His reliance on his physical appearance and  strength falls a part . Gradually moving towards older age when people often experience the negligence and feel left alone this tears them into parts and they are heart broken. Than comes most painful time when the body who's strength and beauty  once we were proud of refuses to take our weight anymore. Once again we are dependent but this time we are not adorable to get as much love as we want but mostly a burden on people who we loved most.

Here is the place in this circle where we meet to ourselves once again in life  and see what we had left there for us to embrace when we moved further from this point in our earlier hood.

The Creator or Nature seems to be interested in this most, otherwise she would have not given us "Consciousness" or Soul at all . This whole journey from weak to powerful and then to weak again  shows that Gravity (Love) must be powerful enough to compel  others to orbit around you . Because there is no other law which make it possible. The heavier objects have more gravity and form  their star and planet families . Here on Earth for the living beings "Love " works  as Gravity . The bigger your heart is the larger  family possibly you form and i am not talking about the blood relationships here only  because the Gravity of Love  is property of soul  and  soul is heart herself !

May be young immortal people of future will learn far more than older people of today but i bet that  the Spiritual and Emotional growth belong to "process of  natural progress or aging".

What you think ? please share with me .

Thank you for the reading friends!

Wishing you all the Goodness in this world! please take care!



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