That is all for now dear friends! we are fully recovered from flu thankfully . I am trying to catching up with your posts and comments as well . See you soon !
Baili And I...
Your Brain Is Your Adorable Puppy! DON"T Let It Turn Into a Wild Monster Who Can Drag You Whereever He Wants
Saturday, June 25, 2022
Heavy Rainfall , Damn e koh Visit And Kindness By My Younger Son
That is all for now dear friends! we are fully recovered from flu thankfully . I am trying to catching up with your posts and comments as well . See you soon !
Wednesday, June 15, 2022
What Happened In Islamabad And Got The Internet Finally
there were so many other people wandering or walking seriously ,many were doing exercise in open gym area and so many were with kids in play area ,the broadness and beauty of this park is captivating
a peace bringing and touching moment when after arriving we went to visit my mom's grave and recited their for while !
Sunday, May 29, 2022
I May Sound A Strict Mother
Sometimes i wonder if i sound a strict mother . If so, then it's not about my perspective about worldly success that follows the good education mostly, but about the "person" i am actually.
I live in an under developed country where education is though declared free for all until tenth grade still huge number of children cannot get chance to go to school because of many issues ,first excuse is poverty ,parents with narrow mindset prefer to put their child in child labor instead sending them school with hope they might have better future .
Second excuse is "attitude of parents" as in families with even good income people try to avoid sending their children school . They think why child waste time in attending school when he can help in family business meanwhile . I have many such examples around me here sadly.
I won't dig further excuse bags and will stick to the main point rather.
I was born in lower middle class family and i went to school in small village where hardly few boys went to school and no other girl at all. I was first to go and study . My parents had good excuse to not send both of their girls to school but they still did. Despite my mother was illiterate but she had an enlightened mind and proof is the life she provided to us and the upbringing she could do.
Hubby was born in the lower middle class family as well . His father was mason but very generous and reasonable man .Despite of hand to mouth living he managed to get his children appropriate education. Hubby did his high school and masters degree as private student when his other siblings did not show interest in further education .
May be things i mentioned above influenced my mind to some extent and consequently i want my kids to get better education specially when they can. I admit that i had dreamed to have career as teenage girl which i could not make come true and most probably i want to feel that sense of achievement through my kids . But the kind of mother i had who supported me always i too want to support my kids to do whatever they want in life . They have no pressure to study at all . They have liberty to decide which direction they want to go and what they want to achieve in life.
In my whole life there is no single act including this post that i planned before . I don't know why but i am made this way . I have no ability to plan things which makes me consider myself a stupid person. I had no agenda for life when i had life ahead nor i have any agenda to work on now as well.
For me life is what new day bring to me .I pay Thanks for this gift . I try to live it with absolute honesty . And i leave rest on the creator . This is my only strategy that no one should be harmed by my words or action .Try to help if possible if not than pray and that is it.
I believe that life is given to be happy and make others happy .I want my children to be happy and feel peace of mind as well. As far as concerned is worldly stuff and success i think we should not waste our time and energy in gaining things that cannot make any good difference in our life . If we are able to fulfill our necessities that is enough . Then we should seek for more learning instead of earning. Attitude shapes our life and i prefer "easy one" because complications drain best of us only and spoil the peace of mind completely and life is too short to cover this loss .
The way i see life since some years, death is part of it and not to dread for but when i will realize time has come i would leave smilingly!
I mean to say all this is that if i sound strict it does not mean i want them to succeed for the worldly things but it is because i believe that whatever they choose to do they should do it properly .
My eldest son saw rough times with us when our new house was under construction . He had to leave his favorite school where he had best friends . This was first time i saw tears in his eyes .But we were helpless because due to few loans the salary was not enough to pay high fee of that school (Pak Turk school) .
My eldest son became normal in few days and restarted his studies in new school where he had to take his younger brother along on bicycle. Time passed but we could hardly imagine that hardships had great impact on him which he had secured in deepest corner of his heart . He turned out a very sensitive person . He was responsible and caring already though. He passed his tenth grade and high school quietly . He had an old second hand computer at home on which he would see Khan Academy lessons often. We had no idea he is preparing to apply in other city or he will leave the house one day.
He did all this quietly and when after high school he said he will study bachelor in Karachi, hubby fell into grave worry because he had no one in family who did this before . It was new for both of us. Hubby refused but i stood with him . I knew how it feels when one cannot make his dream come true . I convinced hubby that we should let him go and hope if he keeps us in his mind . Hubby thought his child will be lost in the crowd of big city like so many others he had heard or read. It did not happen fortunately. My eldest son made us peaceful and proud thankfully. He could achieve all this because he had four things ,vision , hard work ,will power and above all strength to carry all this with honesty. He had gift certainly!
Honesty is my grave disease and incurable . When my younger son (who got admission in the Habib university) cleared his high school i asked him if he wants to quit studies or do something else . I said so because i saw him less serious with studies .He is really intelligent and despite doing just routine work he always secured first position in each class but as mother i doubted he is not for intense studies . My younger son said he will continue. He is great at sketching so we advised him if he wants to study arts but he said he will do computer science . I told him if so he has to show good grades so universities can consider him for scholarships because good universities are expensive for us otherwise.
But again he would show less interest in studies . He would study for two hours hardly and this is when i would remind him frequently He would join his videos and games afterwards . I am not complaining but i know he could have done better if he had wanted to . If he said he wanted to continue study he must have put more effort to do it better way.
If i am wrong here i would like to know.
Only me and my family knows how much effort i have put to push him . What else i could have done as a mother . If i would not do it and sit leisurely i would feel guilty that time is passing quickly and he is just a careless kid who does not understand what loss this carelessness can cause to him. I confess i think too much when it is about person's self respect and honor . I would try to encourage him that i want you to achieve scholarship so in future you can also like your brother can be a self made and proud man . Your future family should also respect you for what you have achieved in life.
I m positive that once he will be in university and will engage into proper routine of studies my younger son will show bright side of him . I said so because i had read somewhere that more intelligent students need extraordinary environment to reveal their skills . My eldest son whom i take as inspiration says about his brother the same thing and i hope it is true. I wish him insight and success as mother.
His proper studies will start from mid August inshallah!
We are leaving for Islamabad in next three days. Hope we will find some cool days and little rain there .
Though i am missing my home already :(
these gorgeous blooms managed to appear today finally because of slightly cloudy weather ,my happy morning sight :)
Whether in the form of garden or just empty space Nature is always there for us to listen and heal ,on us to have ability to hear her whisper and stop to refill our souls with peace and energy !
See you soon if life keeps it's promise :)
stay blessed with faith that gives you wings of hope to fly in the sky of life always ! Blessings to all of you dear friends. Thank you for being so supportive always !
Tuesday, May 24, 2022
What Is "Reality " Actually ?
It is hard to define reality . Sometimes it seems that reality is everything and then next moment it feels nothing is reality here. Even a simplistic person like me is reaching to the point in life when it seems inevitable to accept that " reality " is complicated"
Last night we could see and talk to our eldest son for more than an hour. The joy was huge and indefinable because it was happening after two weeks . Yes my son was having guests at previous weekend so he could not call us. Mubashir and Zaineb friends of my son who are married couple now visited from Germany and spent a week with him.My son was happy to have them . For us the parents time seemed to stretched so long though .
We had good chat last night ,at first my eldest son tried to guide his younger brother about his upcoming joining to the Habib University and how can he utilize this opportunity to better himself in various ways specially on socialization and availing the extra curricular activities alongside the studies.
Then he used a phrase that "echoed" in my head for long. He said
" we are what our environment makes us"
i asked "what about what we are in real" ?
He said " reality is complicated " and " realities that we encounter in life shape us what we become eventually ".
I dropped the topic because i knew once we both are indulged in such conversation it can take hours and more probably .I have a bad habit to keep digging up others mind until i find something new to learn ,it's never about proving myself correct but to what others think and what is the origin of their thought and does it meets with laws of nature at some point?
The phrase kept echoing in my mind until now .
What is reality ? Is everything has a unique reality or we all are tiny parts of one big reality ?
Sometimes feels that "reality " is like a tree who's roots are planted into "nothingness" or "mysterious unknown unseen grounds" and everything else is part of this tree .Time is stem and space is branches , bodies attached to it are leaves , creations and creature existing on those bodies are fruits eaten by another unknown unseen reality eventually .
As we observe that everything in the universe including us behaves similar way almost ,so if we have to solve the sum of "reality" we will have to observe how reality present here before our eyes works actually . According to scientists reality is of two kind observable and unobservable . They say that observable part of the reality is far smaller than reality that is unobservable and beyond comprehension. If visible reality as "whole" works similar way no matter how numerous forms it has and how far these forms exist from each other invisible reality must act similarly and is interconnected and interchangeable .
So when we look at observable reality everything seems to travel in circle whether it is living or non living, as everything has age ,it born ,it decay and it die. From death or lets say from the part when things transforms into form that is invisible to our eyes, process of transformation continues for longer period of the time until things reappear in their visible shape once again though not perfectly in same shape but in some other form, but with similar "core seedling" most probably .
Meanwhile here on earth things go under process of transformation as invisible reality ,such as dead bodies of plants ,animals and humans below the ground we know that there is dense community of micro organism who work hard to make this transformation happen.
With tiny period of life and captivated in glass of time space, for us this process seems so long but if move it fast forward and observe from above things will look pretty amusing and funny i guess .Do you think someone is enjoying the show for whom this all is just a game .even though it is hard to bring such power in imagination even .
Okay , if unobservable reality works exactly like observable reality and all objects floating within spacetime heavy or light including time and space itself die eventually and are absorbed by the unobservable reality ,there must be also some kind of micro organism to transform it slowly for billions and billions and billions of years and push it forward to reappear once again as observable realities sprouting in countless forms here and there in the universe and taking on their visible journey once again. Can you imagine how many times it might have repeated ?
Astrophysicts mention that " matter" exists within the unobservable universe like small bubbles or numerous tiny island existing in the ocean and at the edge of both where invisible meets visible we find the struggle of anti matter to take form of matter and then disappear swiftly .
Doesn't it seem like unobservable realty is spread beyond our imagination like raw material from which "material" takes place . But How and Why are questions that scratch my head badly.
Okay last thing for now ,again if we match the behavior or both realities here on planet earth or in universe as whole we can make good guess i think . Like in the womb brain is the very first thing that forms and then the rest of the body takes place smoothly.
Is it not very much possible that Consciousness of the visible reality existed before the materialistic form ?
It seems that like "Consciousness" wandered in the empty universe for ages alone . She started her journey like a baby may be and then as she aged and became stronger and wiser. She looked for meaning for her existence and to achieve that she needed "expressions" through which she can reveal herself and then she invented ways to do so gradually . She started to dressed up with matter and showed what she has and what she can do . What you say ?
Hope i did not bother you much precious people if so i am sorry. please stay positive and it is possible when you hold the umbrella of the "faith" tightly :) hugs and blessings!