My maternal grand parents were quite religious yet friendly to us.
Other people of their age their age were mostly strict and commanding for their grand kids specially .
Mom was so much close to her father than mother and influence of his personality was obvious upon my mother's nature.
Grandma followed religion blindly but Grandpa always reasoned his religious attitude.
He always pointed that how religious duties mold us for healthy lifestyle in society.
He had quite big collection of books. Natural history and history of world and beginning of civilization were his most favorite topic .
Mom never went to school but she was astonishingly wise and disciplined in her pattern of life.
Before our early teens she started to give us strict routine to follow so we can be habitual of all kind of basic things that could shape us for staying in right path .
She would insist to rise early and perform morning pray ( around 4:am) and then recite holy book Qura,an every day regularly .
If we miss something there were certain light punishments.
As children it was annoying for us to follow those duties with regularity . And this was relief that mom was often flexible in her such commands .
She was more like her father who was against applying religious duties strictly .
He had thoughts that adopting these physical exercises was secondary thing.
First , an empty innocent brain must acknowledge the LOVE OF HIS CREATOR FOR HIM/HER.
Imposing views upon raw mind can turn him against the Lord , because without realizing that to WHOM and WHY we are obeying it is useless effort.
Grandpa would always answer my all silly questions patiently.
Why do we wash ourselves as technically before prayers grandpa?
Why do we need to pray five times ?
and so many quires that poked my head frequently .
Grandma would yell and say ,
" DO NOT QUESTION ,IT IS SIN TO QUESTION ABOUT GOD'S RULES"
But grandpa would smile gently and reply affectionately until he realized my satisfaction.
All his answers point one thing that ALL RELIGIOUS DUTIES ARE WAY TO GET CONNECTED TO GOD AND PAY GRATITUDE ,AND ASK FOR GUIDANCE AND MERCY FOR LIFE AHEAD!
Luckily mother was not the exception . She tried to keep us familiar with religious side of our lives but she mostly did it in NATURAL WAY.
As kids there was always competition among children of village to complete Holy Qura,an early or to fast more than others.
I found fasting most interesting thing to follow among all other religious duties as it was so challenging .
NO EATING or even drop of water FOR ALMOST 16 to 18 HOURS! ( 4:am to 7:30 pm)
So i would try to fast during month of Ramadan eagerly , but due to my poor health conditions i was always behind my cousins and friends .
Mother never pushed me for fasting when she noticed that it effected my health terribly .But i was not giving up until i start getting horrible migraine and headaches eventually .
Still i continued to fast until it went beyond my bearing . Specially headaches and dizziness put me on bed and even after ( Aftaar) time of fast breaking i would remain kind of fainted .
I could never fast for whole month (for females, 25 days as during period fasting was forbidden) of Ramadan ,Hardly 17 to 9 , it was embarrassing front of friends and cousins and shameful for myself then.
After marriage life changed in many ways . Hubby put me on proper checkup ,treatments and diet . His effort pulled my hemoglobin from 7 to 9 .
In 2004 when Ramadan came i thought i would fast for 20 days at least.
One day when i was fasting and along with it doing all house chores ,when the time of fast breaking came close and i was excited to break my fast with juice and many other favorite food .
Hubby and me both meant to sit together for fast breaking .
But that day hubby got call from one of his friend suddenly and left in hurry by saying that "there are 20 minutes in fast breaking time ,and i will be back before it"
Azaan (call for prayer) echoed from Mosque and declared the time for fast breaking .
I wanted to break my fast with hubby so i waited for him and did not drink even a drop of water out of growing anger .
Hubby returned after almost an hour and told that his friend held fast breaking party so i broke my fast with all friends there .
I was so angry and sad that he could have inform me through a call at least and tell not to wait.
So inspite of all the apologies and insistence for having food i did not eat anything nor drank water .
I unconsciously decided to sustain my fast for other day too and mostly it was punishment to myself for my expectations from hubby rather than pleasing God.
Second day i broke my fast in almost unconsciousness.
Weakness overwhelmed my body and my head was blown with pain and dizziness . And that two days of hunger and thirst effected my body for long time in very negative way.
Me and hubby returned to our normal relationships within 3 days , though physical recovery took more than an year.
Two things that i learnt from this experience .
One that i was dangerously stubborn and stupid.
Second that i polluted my worship by mixing my personal feeling in it as fasting is considered MATTER BETWEEN MAN AND CREATOR PURELY !
But i added my anger in it which was trivial thing to do.
I don't fast anymore since few years due to headache that follow and makes me unable to rise from bed.
But i believe that my Creator knows us through our intentions not just actions .
To connect with him i have to feel his presence not just around me but inside me!
And i do it with my each breath!
And i think bonding of soul counts far more than mere physical exercise !
Lord Bless You My Precious Friends!
