When my doctor told me that i am going to be mom of my first child i was mixture of multiple weird feelings.
i was nervous ,scared , happy and excited at the same time because it was totally new experience for me!
Sense of being part of nature 's most basic ,important and beautiful process of creativity was thrilling me inside.
me mom and my son on Eid day 3 years old !
So many weird kind of fears were springing in my head and feeling of deep happiness and fulfillment
his grandma and his father with him on Eid day ,7 yeras old
was absorbing in my soul on other hand !
When " Ahsun" my first baby came in my arms for the first time i cannot explain the kind of joy i felt !
He bloomed in the garden of my life first and grabbed my all love and attention though he wanted to have siblings desperately!
May be one who reaches on the peak of Mount Everest could feel such achievement,
He loves his brothers and want to see them to do good in life!
i left job because he thought that the studies of his brothers were effecting negatively.
Due to being ex termly anemic i was unable to feed my own baby and it was so sad for me ,yet
i am glad that i could feed him at least for two and half months!
Due to different source of milk my son suffered with stomach ache in his early months of life and his pain was hard to bear for my motherhood.
When he is with us he want to drop us joy all the time so most of the time is party time!
After three years he got better in health. He was center of my whole love and attention .My whole love
orbited around him ,unconsciously though but i tried best to spent each single moment with him
he lives by his soul and his eyes reveal that
.Yes i am addicted to love and relations!
I think this whole world and life itself is useless and has no meaning or purpose if you do not have heart
which has ability to love someone and if luck works for you, you also get love from someone. I consider myself zero on any other skills but all i got
is my deep strong love for my Creator my family and humanity and my honesty in my relationships .
As time passed three of us became best friends me ,my son and hubby as i was not conceiving another child due to
poor health conditions may be and was on supplements
Murree kashmir point 2016
In all those 10 years before my eldest son got his brother finally in 2003 ,we spent so much time together
and learnt to share everything related to our days and heart with each other .
This made me happy and strong at heart because this was what i really truly wanted from my life! family 's true love and sharing !
Muree park 2016
As he grew older i realized he is little different than others ,He seemed much mature than his actual age and
was wise more than just clever ,this was something which i consider gift from my kind merciful lord!
He amazed me with his strong approach and clear views on life when he was at the end his teens.
He was fast learner and always busy in attempts to explore new stuff which can beneficial for his study and career ahead!
muree hotel room 2016
Though he did not get chance to study in best academies yet he managed to get scholarship in one of the most authentic university
of our country Fast University Karachi.
He lived there for almost six years ,four years for study and two years for job. He made few new friends who are precious to him.
But most amazing thing which makes me serene and grateful that he did not adopt any bad habit from outer world meanwhile.
He asked for excuse from a nice girl who was studying in same class and who liked him and even her parents liked him
but my son's whole attention was and still is on the goals of his life which he set for himself when he was living in small city here with us.
That girl is engaged and going to get Mary soon with another boy selected by her parents.
As you all know my eldest son is now living in Germany and doing his masters in university of technology Munich . He left in September and willing to visit us in coming December though but i miss him terribly!!!
He was born on 7th of August 1993 and tomorrow is his 25th birthday ,i wrote this post because i am missing
him so much and just want to talk about him and share my heart with you all just to feel better!
He sent this selfie on my request few days back when he returned from gym!
this post took so long time than usual as my laptop is causing so many problems , this is why i could not put photos on right places specially !
Anyway i am glad and grateful that i could give this post as it comforted my heart to some extent!
He is in my heart ,my soul ,my mind and in my prays all the time!
Along with the child of all mothers i pray may he be blessed with great health ,peace and prosperity each step in life and may God give him strength to achieve his goals without damaging his innocence and purity! amen!
