Sunday, November 20, 2022

Why Would Bride Hide Face In Olden Days

 

Hey Sweet Souls!

Hope trying to make existence beautiful in the light of your wisdom:)

Few of you may be felt curious why bride looks serious and why she had to hide her face in veil ?

I just while ago asked same to the Google. There were many replies but I cancelled  the search due to lack of time before I check further details. 

Let me tell you through my personal  observations and  experience as i belong to era when the tradition was followed regularly in my village. 

There were many interesting customs for all wedding events that would display enthusiasm ,humour and happiness of both parties. I will leave rest for another time and talk about the  "face hiding " tradition by the bride only. Among all I found this most fascinating and intriguing. I had many girl cousins to whom I got chance to be a wedding friend.  Bride and Groom had to be  put on rest  weeks before their wedding start. For two weeks groom and bride would be treated by family and friends as "special " people. Both would be given seven wedding friends that would stay with them until the last day of the wedding. Those friends could be their same old friends. But if old friends are less than seven more wedding friends would be added to complete course.  Those friends of bride and groom would assist them in each work .In other words the friends would try hard to save both parties from exposure or tiredness or any mental stress that common routine of life can bring. 

Bride would be separated from common portion of the house under excessive use and is kept in some corner room where only seven of her friends can see her including female family members.  I remember how much I enjoyed those long fun nights when we all girls would talk and laugh, beat drum ,sing and dance when party was over late night in other parts of house  one of friend would accompany the bride even to bathroom (outside of course). Meanwhile bride would mostly keep her face behind long veil of her shawl. 

Back then I just enjoyed all that never thought what and why. Bride 's face would remain hidden until she would join her husband. Thought female family would see her glimpse once she is ready to leave. 

But now when I try to ponder on this I feel that behind all these traditions was purpose to give both parties time to take break from usual daily chores and relax so they can revive their mental energy to face new journey of life.

I miss how specially girl was treated back in olden times. She was not mere piece of flesh or body but her personality reflected purity, divinity ,grace ,dignity ,live ,patience and sacrifice. A chain in which whole family is beaded so beautifully. Her wisdom was light for all living around her.Her strength was source that would empower whoever got close to her. Yes I consider myself lucky that i could witness some beauty of old lifestyle. A girl when was supposed to leave her parents house in orderto join new family and a new man as husband. She is given time to secure all her inner strength beauty and purity before.  To achieve the certain level of this bride is kept in comparatively dark room where even sun hesitate to look at her as he may not dim the sacred glow of her face . I think old people believed that such dwelling would create a   exceptional glory around her personality that would charm the groom when he would remove the veil first time. Just like a halo around moon add fantasy and little mystery to the beauty of moon.

I hope I could share what I wanted to dear friends. 

See you soon.  Blessings to you and to all you love precious people! 



21 comments:

  1. A very long time ago, it used to be a custom in the West as well to completely veil a bride until the husband lifted her veil after the wedding ceremony. The veiling symbolized her virginity which the husband after marriage had the right to remove by symbolically lifting the veil. A symbolism rooted in oppression and property rights mentality.

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  2. Nicely put dear Dera thank you
    I am a feminist and utterly against what suppress a woman or her right still I like this symbolic tradition good as far as the virginity of a young girl is considered belong to her husband.

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  3. I was sure there must be a tradition behind her sad face. I hope to learn of it.

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  4. This was very interesting, Baili! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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  5. I like learning about the old customs, Baili. They seem lovely and beautiful. They are very much like modern customs, but many don't realize how they started or why. The old customs put emphasis on the sacred commitment people make when they agree to marry. I am glad that more women in the world have a choice as to who they want to marry or if they even want to get married, and whether they want to stay in the marriage if it is not healthy. I've been married 50 years, but I do believe that everyone has a right to make their own choice. I was lucky. I married my best friend. Sending hugs xo K

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    1. Thank you dear Karen for lovely comment!
      I think though modern lifestyle have given us many privileges as individuals regarding human rights particularly woman rights but on the other hand it has taken away the genuine beauty of natural life ,family life specially. Or May be we as spice are still in learning how fragile is toy of freedom and how carefully and insightfully we have to play with it.
      My point is that old customs have some certain importance and many of them worth carrying along after transforming them in modern ways.
      As you said 50 years spending with one life partner is huge achievement. Despite of the friendship time might have come when you ran into so.e disagreements yet you learned how to deal with such delicate issues to make this one of the most beautiful and soulful relationship work. It can be hard but what else is easy in life .hardships make relationship deeper and tastier. But this is for who don't fear from challenges

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  6. This was very interesting, baili. I like the thought of both bride and groom taking time to prepare for marriage away from the stress of ordinary life. It seems like a good idea to me. Everyone looks lovely, dressed up for the special occasion :)

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  7. Thank you dear Janney .It is lovely to hear from you my friend!
    Old customs if ponder seemed to know human psyche better. For example marrying young people at 20 or around .age when human nature is more flexible to adjust with each other. Tolerance and mutual respect was needed for joint family system. I don't say that bad relationship didn't exist back then but it worked mostly and the cynicism and scepticism that has seeped into modern people was not at all . Such viruses captivated our soul since we lost our natural values

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    1. I love your reply to Karen, above, especially this phrase, "how fragile is toy of freedom and how carefully and insightfully we have to play with it" - yes, indeed! And your point that even partners who get along need to work at difficult issues from time to time, and it makes the relationship better to do so. You really have such a thoughtful attitude toward life and I always like reading what you think, my friend.

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    2. My precious friend Jenny how kind you are to say such nice words for naive woman like me .this is honor and joy indeed!

      Once long ago when I realised how tiny is my "understanding of this life ,world and everything else " I decided to learn what I can at least in this little period of life . I don't have anyone around to whom I can speak my mind so while blogging I try to share my opinion regardless of how tiny it is and how less it matters.
      I replied dear Karen spontaneously as i feel so happy when find ladies blooming in this world like flowers and spreading goodness in this world which is most needed here .
      It makes me sad that having self awareness is snatching away from us the genuine innocence and beauty of living.
      Why our learning is keeping Us away to have faith in each other. To believe that life has both sides equally existing in balance with each other. Darkness and light complete each other despite the difference that part them.
      The level of knowledge we have today is making us crazy, despaired and shallow why ?instead we use this learning to beautify our lives we only fell for darker side. Abundance of choice and too much freedom is bringing out of us what is negative only as all this is making is ignorant more then aware . Our lack of insight and patience is making us everything granted including relationships. We are as spice becoming rigid selfish and most dangerous to us to this world. Our ego is larger than life eating up all the basic pleasures life offers unfortunately.
      If nothing is perfect here how a relationship can be . We have lost wisdom and patience of a gardener who know how to grow plants and how much consistency of long hard work is required to keep them blooming. Relationships like everything else need love and care till eternity. Balance is something that can help in building up healthy lifestyle.
      This is strange that we hardly leave our blood relationship no matter how bad experience we go through but marriage seems to take most lightly among all and we run to accept that ok it is not going to work so we have to be separated.
      About blood relationship is a saying here that "broken arm comes to neck"
      Why don't we imply it on a marriage

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  8. What lovely traditions, and it's also good to see them still being done today...take care Baili.

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  9. This was very interesting, Baili. Thank you for sharing.

    Wishing you a good week ahead.

    All the best Jan

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  12. We had the same custom long ago.
    The future wife had a white Weil above her face entering the church and the Weil was taken off when she joined her future husband.

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  13. so good to you our people atteched with our culture thank you for sharing

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  14. It was fascinating to learn about the meaning of your traditional wedding ceremonies, Baili. Our American culture is so centered around work, and personal time is often sacrificed for work. I think it would be nice to have a two-week time apart to relax and mentally prepare for a new relationship and stage of life. It would be very difficult to do that in my culture. It would be impossible to find seven friends and/or family members who could take off two weeks to be a wedding friend. I wasn't able to take that long off from work for our honeymoon.

    The bride is very beautiful as are her wedding clothes and accessories. It is a huge life change to leave your family and become part of another family. No wonder she looks serious and thoughtful!

    When I left home to go to university, I didn't really think about how I was actually leaving home for good. I was so excited about studying, making new friends, and having new freedoms and experiences. Besides my family was still there for me and their home was still my home, even if it was a hundred or hundreds of miles away. There was a lot of freedom and independence for me during my time at university and working summer jobs which I cherished.

    When I got married, I realized that I was part of a couple and that I had to learn to compromise and consider my partner and not just think about myself and what I wanted. Unfortunately, my first marriage didn't work out for reasons I don't want to go into here. But, if I hadn't gone through my first marriage, I never would have met Terry whom I was meant to be with. Terry and I are 40 years into our relationship, and sometimes I still struggle with compromise and doing what is best for the both of us as partners in life; but I wouldn't change it to be single again, because our relationship is well worth it. I hope the new married couple finds that happy and life-enriching balance and that they both realize their dreams.

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