Thursday, April 14, 2022

Summer Nostalgia ,First Kindness Showed To Me By God Was My Mom!

 

It's not the first summer of my life when i am missing my mother more. Actually despite of all the mildness of our winters they still seem to stiff my mind. and with a stiffed mind everything looks blur whether belong to physical reality around me or my inner world where numerous memories live .In winters these memories seem to hibernate mostly though in summer they come out of their hide out and wander and play freely like restless gleeful children.

Summers not just make the trees and plants sprout out and make fields and meadows lush again but they also refresh the whole page of my inner world and i suddenly start to Reconnect my memories belong to part of my life particularly that i spent with my parents in my beautiful native village . Yea this is the positive side of summer for me :)

It's lovely breezy day today though temperature is 38 c. When i woke up in the morning the first feeling was as i woke up in some other dimension from where i can see  the whole map of my life until now with all the small big details laying before my eyes. All the joys and sorrows ,love and fears and twists and turns were present right front of me ,it took few minutes probably but it was amazing feeling indeed. Usually when i open and come into my senses i start to say pray and pay gratitude for new day. But it was different today and i loved it . Because this quick glimpse of the history of my life reminded me how lucky i was to have "kindness" throughout my  life. 

This kindness is precious gift of God that kept me surrounded all those years. 

By Creator, my mother was the first way to show kindness to me !

  i don't know my exact age here  three probably but i remember the brother i lost was alive then and we were living in Hyderabad city then 

When summer open up the bundles of old memories i realize that there is so much to feel happy about . The spring of my small lush hilly town was magical always. Rows of trees around the fields and beside the small canal would blossom and load with various fruits. When it would be airy lots of fruit would drop out of trees, children would run towards them to gather and pick these fallen fruits .Most of them would not have basket but tie the two opposite corner of their shirt together to make one and would keep their picked fruits in them. 


Mom would love to go with her lady friends to pick up the mulberry fruits in the spring season. The shine in her eyes and glow on her face would reflect the joy she would feel while following this village tradition. She had to leave her village when she was just eleven years old .She was sent alone on train in such little age to join her thirty plus husband(first, not my father) . That was the story told by mom thousands of times to me and my younger sister . It seemed that it was preserved among most powerful memories in her mind.   It was also stored as biggest achievement  of her life as each time  she would tell us about it the enthusiasm in her accent and redness of her face would reveal the pride  she felt after completing  that challenging journey and after arriving her destination safe and sound. Journeying alone at such small age in the train which she
had seen first time from closely on the same day when she had to travel in it was something that added strength to her coming life probably and to quite extent. " i had to sit still and calm so no one can know i was afraid " mom would say proudly " i did not forget for a moment that i don't have to talk to strangers at all" she would add mystery while looking at us with curious eyes as if we were as smart as she . " i remembered the name of  the city Khairpur (the city where i live now) strictly and i knew it would come after which two stations"  She would tell like a child who told all the answers right and look at the class for clapping (but that i know now ,not then but felt it yes).

"When someone would try to ask me something i would tell only one thing that i am going to visit my eldest brother and that's it" she would get bit sad when she would reach to this part because obviously it was not her choice to get married at such small age nor she would have wanted husband of his father's age. 

" When  i got down on the khairpur station i went straight to the big tree mentioned by my father and stood there firmly ,i did not move a bit until my husband came to get me after more than half hour "

I remember that story afterwards got worse and worst in next some years. But one thing which i can feel right now that we all see happy and sad periods in our life .Some say everything has been written as "Destiny" already. Some say we make our own destiny . People who have "kindness" in their nature destiny somehow help them to find way out and create a happy living eventually . 

My mother had "kindness" so deeply rooted within her that despite of all the cruelties and ugliness of circumstances she did not loose it. Nature rewarded her with life once again that she lost many years ago as a little girl and had to go through all the terrible things that kept a part of her sad for whole life. Still when my mom got back to her native town she gained common likening of all her people. She had pure blood of a "villager" . She loved all .She found comfort in simplicity and did all the chores that women of the village thought were impossible to her. From knitting to needle work ,sewing and making traditional thread belts to  cooking in traditional deep oven she would do all unhesitatingly .No one could feel she had come back from a city after almost twenty years. 

 to give you idea of traditional handmade belts for traditional trouser. i helped mom in this when she asked yes it was easy and fun ,mom's frame to make it is still in my brother's house 

Our home did not had cement paint on walls for first one or two years. Mom like other village women would  paint her house with clay with her own hands. It was really difficult to dig and bring the soil home from far hills . But next part was joyous because it would involve other women and girls from the village . It was custom to join each other for such laborious job so mom would ask other women from the family and other villagers to help her . I can still feel how light and chilled  would become when all women (around ten to fifteen, depend on the house's bigness) would gather to clay paint the house. With all the gossip and laughter time would fly by quickly and happily . Tea and snack break would make it like small festival specially when  other women and girls from surroundings join them.

Mom was "giver" despite of she lived in hand to mouth situation in different phases of her life. At this stage of life i can say that to live happily one needs a "kind heart" and all becomes easy or this is what i have observed and experienced in my life



Sorry for blur photo .it took me hour to find it while scrolling  so many albums. At my engagement day in June 1991 


I will be sharing more about my mother probably. 
But too late for dinner right now. See you all soon hopefully

What kindness you do to others is preserved by Nature and returns to you by any source eventually so please keep being kind to others and to yourself!
God bless You All! 


31 comments:

  1. What a wonderful photo of you as a little girl with your Mom! A loving Mom who supports us, protects us, and advocates for us against the whole world is a blessing indeed. My Mom was that to me as well.

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    1. as far as i can understand myself dear Debra i am one of those people who value emotional support most and above everything in life ,i have this in my genes . like my mom i too find so comforting to support other emotionally .i think this is other side of our existence the spiritual one and me and my mom has it always.
      mom are mostly protective about their children and me and my sister know that our life would have not what it is today if mom was not there to protect us at different times and different places. i think Nature has it's most powerful manifestation in this source "mothers"

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  2. Hi, Baili! I'm going to be caught up with you for one day at least ~ LOL!

    What a powerful and inspiring post about your mother! I can't even imagine how she made it through those difficult years when she was just a girl. I'm glad that her solo train ride gave her the courage to persist and to survive. I hope a time comes when no young girl has to face such circumstances. No wonder she was determined for you to have an education and to have more choices in life!

    Kindness is an extremely important character trait. I'm glad that you have been surrounded by kindness throughout your life. You are truly kind, and your eldest son has that trait as well. I see it expressed in how he bought you the washing machine and in his encouragement of you to learn and grow as a person. One of my favorite photos of your hubby is the one where he is sitting in the garden tending the flowers. Someone who creates a beautiful garden and takes care of it has kindness in his heart.

    Love to you, Baili, and to your loving family! May you feel joy and blessings today!

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    1. you are exceptionally generous dear Louise !

      that was mother's very first train journey at the age of eleven ,after that i can tell from my part begins mom traveled in the train lot ,despite of all the economical restriction mom would manage to travel to Khairpur with all of us because she had few friends who supported her when she came here first in her early teens ,my father also had friends and a brother like best friend (my father in law) who's mother looked after my father since he was five or six ,so mother and father both had reasons to travel once in a while here .
      mom kept visiting her girl friends until they were gone forever .

      i am thoroughly grateful for gift of kindness to my creator ,it's so fulfilling to be content enough to feel peaceful and be ready to share whatever you can . in this world everything seems so related to me ,nothing feels stranger .i am also grateful that my maker did not let anything bad happen to me because of my sympathetic nature though i do hear some negative stuff but thank god it never came to me by the grace of kind God!

      while raising my kids i prayed for only one thing always that may God make them a good human being who exist in the harmony of all around them and harmlessly ,and i a ,and i am deeply thankful to see that all of my kids have this trait of humanity and kindness !

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  3. You tell a great story about your Mom who obviously was a wonderful woman. to come through what your Mom had to do made her a very strong person.

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  4. now when i am able to understand life and all a little bit i will say that nature has pattern for all exists within it and though as human being it is very hard to understand but yes things happen for reason and these reason serve for whole pattern and long run not fitting to our concept of what we expect after doing our part .

    mom never acknowledged it front of us but she might have realized it latter to some extent when she saw s her children growing better living which was never possible if she had not left that village back then

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  5. A lovely post dear Baili, thank you for sharing your memories and thoughts.
    It was a delight to see the two photographs of you and your Mother you included in your post.

    My good wishes.

    All the best Jan

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  6. thank you dear Jan ,it is nice to know that you enjoyed it :)

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  7. I love this post. Mothers are so very special and I miss mine everyday. Have a wonderful weekend.

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  8. thank you dear Nichole

    i think the more we age and life leave us with bit space to contemplate on previous specially time we spent with our parents as growing children ,fond memories awake in mind quickly and most of the fond memories of daughters belong to their mothers :)

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  9. Beautiful thoughts, photos and memories of your mother xx

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    1. memories are treasures that we cannot afford to loose dear Cheri ,that would make life shallow

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  10. Oh, Baili, what a heartwarming post! Thank you for sharing these memories with us. And that photo when you were little with your mom is adorable! What a cherished image.

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    1. this is lovely feeling that i have so many things to share about my mother dear Martha :)

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  11. I enjoyed reading memories of your childhood and mother, she was a beautiful woman and I just love that picture on your engagement day. Interesting to read about how she decorated the home with her hands. More please!

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    1. i am happy you enjoyed this sharing dear Betty

      sometimes i feel this topic so irresistible but longer days give me time to share it with friends .
      when i say mom was full of life it is how much love she had for life ,people and everything she encountered she created courage and strength to face it with bravery and intellect .she was water that know how to take shape of things it enters

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  12. Um texto maravilhoso onde ressalta todo o amor pela sua mãe resumido na frase: a primeira bondade mostrada a mim por Deus foi minha mãe!". Gostei de a ver com sua mãe. Belíssimo post.
    Uma boa semana com muita saúde.
    Um beijo.

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    1. thank you dear Grace !

      the river of my memories start to flow from where my mom's kindness flourishes my life .i pay gratitude in each heartbeat

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  13. I enjoyed reading this post about your mother, Baili. She was a wonderful woman and to me it is obvious that you have inherited so many of her good qualities in living your own life.

    The last sentences in this post about kindness is so true and what we give to others, so shall we receive back even if we do not know that at the time. We should always be kind to one another, and as you noted we should not forget to be kind to ourselves as well.

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    1. dear Dorothy i truly am grateful that she was my mother so as result i could inherit her positivity which nurtured my soul and made me better person with age .

      we have a saying that "do goodness" to others and throw it into the river ,it will flow back to you eventually . how correct !

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  14. Oh 38C!!! I'm jealous! ☺ But...I'm happy we are at least above zero now every day! That first photo of you and your mum is gorgeous! I think that those who are gifted with kindness live a more fulfilling and happy life, despite what harsh things they live through. Lovely memories of your mother ! ♥

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    1. this is amazing how temperatures vary on our planet dear Rain ,i wish i can send some warmth to you and borrow little coolness :)

      so true about people who despite living hard life remain kind and share their kindness with others too , seeing my mom how serene and happy person she was throughout the life was my first experience .none of harsh experience could snatch away her inner softness and goodness .this mesmerizes me now when i see people so cruel despite of having everything .kindness makes heart serene and free and cruelty makes one's life empty where no peace or joy want to dwell at all

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  15. Sweet memories of you mother, baili.
    Have a wonderful week.

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    1. thank you dear Pedro

      mothers are root from where we sprout so it is strengthening to keep in touch :)

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  16. What a beautiful tribute to your mother, and such precious memories you have of her. I just love the picture of you both together, with her hand protectively over yours. She loved you so much! Your poor mother had to endure a lot of hardship in her life! Such a wonderful lady, I know you miss her so much! There is something about springtime and summer that bring back fond memories of family times outside. It is good that you are writing about your life experiences, so that you can pass these on to your children also! Many blessings to you sweet Baili, your visits to my blog are always so much appreciated!

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    1. fortunately we as daughters were really blessed that we had mother who was not just self-aware but knew how to protect her children specially during threatening circumstances . if it was not her both of us sister would have married to illiterate men in very young age without having any education at all .

      this sounds shivering to me even i am saying it my friend , my younger sister is bit complainer but i used to remind her what could be our lives if we had mother with ordinary understanding of life and less courageous . I will be thankful to her after dear God that she was the source to give us life that we have today !

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  17. What a beautiful post (although a little sad about your mom being married so young, a custom I had read about before but to read a first hand experience about her ) ...anyway it's an amazing post and the photo of you and her - so so sweet. I learn so much about your customs when I come here. Love this post today.

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    1. although this custom has disappeared from most part of our country dear Sandy but in farther rural areas there can be some cases of child marriage .i think the presence of media has helped a lot in disappearance of this ugly custom from suburban places .our bigger ,big and small cities have embraced the modern living mostly and have quit what we call taboo traditions thankfully

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    2. so glad for young women this custom has and is disappearing. i can't even imagine at 11, being required to be a wife to an older man.

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  18. I feel sad for what your mother had to go through, but clearly her experiences made her determined to try to give her daughters a different life. You have inherited her kind nature and I'm glad you have good memories of her to fill your heart and mind.

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    1. dear Jenny what makes me happy and confident most that despite of all odds my had to face in her life she remained the same innocent ,kind and loving person she was inside before leaving her village ,that is really inspiring i mean mostly people change when their life is changed from good to bad .you can't imagine what she went through but still her soul was enlightened and pious and she tried to spread happiness and ease where ever she went . i feel incredibly serene when i see how blessed i was that she was my mother

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